It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. He wasn't used to this; he knew better than that. But it was his old best friend, who was so broken and vulnerable - something he wasn't used to seeing either. Did that make it okay?

Of course not.

Yet, he went along with it. What kind of person did that make him? Was he like all the other people in his life? Did it make him any better or any worse?

The twenty-four year old runs his fingers through his hair in disarray, covering his mouth as he stars blankly at the wooden door across from him. His dark brown orbs are focused on the surface long enough to see the white paint chipping off as small as an insect and he's lost in thought once again. His thoughts are muddled and frightening to him, but he just can't get them to stop. With each thought so his heart beats stronger and stronger and his palms begin to sweat.

Donghae always had an issue with his anxiety no matter how small the issue, but he can't figure out how minuscule or gravid this is.

He loses focus when the bed begins to move beside him. Turning to the other occupant on his bed, he watches the faux-blonde turn to his side, eyes still not opening. He isn't even really sure if he could see his eyes by the other's shaggy hair falling just below eye line, but he can see his mouth. Those plump, pink lips (fuller than his own, Donghae remembers) are parted only slightly, being the source of his breathing.

When he's sure he wasn't waking up, Donghae lets out a breath, letting his knees, which were previously bent, fall to each side only to bring them up again because of the draft he felt between his legs.

"Donghae-yah?"

The hoarse voice shocks him for just a second before he gathers himself again, turning back to the blonde, who is laying in the same position Donghae last noticed him in, looking up at him.

"Hyukjae," He breathes with a small smile, "I didn't know you were awake."

Hyukjae shakes his head, "I wasn't until just now."

"Ah," nods Donghae, "Well, did you sleep well?"

Hyukjae is quiet before he sits up against the headboard, getting a view of Donghae's back. He sees the small crescent marks in red, splattered along his back and he feels almost guilty. "I guess."

This silence between them is awkward - just as it was when they first met after seven years of lack of communication and distance in every possible way. Neither know what to say at this moment. What can be said? The events of last night hung over them almost darkly, but neither knew how to feel about it.

They both utter a word simultaneously and laugh ineptly. They each tell the other to speak first and it ends up going nowhere, silence falling between them once again.

"Hyukjae," starts Donghae.

"Nae?"

"I...I'm sorry."

Hyukjae is taken aback. "Mwo? For what?"

"This." He motions between them, "Last night. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have let it go that far. That's obviously the last thing you need right now. I don't know why I even-- I'm sorry." Donghae turns around, back to Hyukjae, as he runs his hands over his face as if trying to smooth out worry lines and inevitable wrinkles from worrying so much.

Hyukjae struggles for words to say. He isn't one for wise words or thoughtful ones; he didn't grow up that way. It's easier for him to show his emotions (depending on what) than to talk it out.

"I should be the one apologizing."

That makes Donghae turn around with an expression that mimicked Hyukjae's previous one. "Mwo?"

Hyukjae nods as an affirmation to his previous statement, eyes fixated on his fingers on his lap, tangling themselves in the bed sheet. "I told you to do it. I know you have issues with saying no and not doing what someone says. It's my fault if I made this weird. I don't even know if you even swing that way and I made you do that... I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry. I'll go now; I knew it was a bad idea coming here." Hyukjae, still leaving the bed sheet covering his shame, swings his legs over the side to grab his--DONGHAE'S clothes hesitantly. Already ruining Donghae, he couldn't take his clothes too, but he had nothing else. Just like he had nowhere to go.

When his clothes were finally on, Hyukjae pushes himself off the bed to leave the room, so he can just let Donghae be. He's sure his life wasn't so ed up before he found him.

Just as soon as Hyukjae's hand touches the doorknob, Donghae's question stops him. "Where are you going to go?"

Hyukjae is quiet for a bit. He doesn't know and honestly, for the first time, he's afraid. He has, what he could call it, a home here - at least, Donghae made it feel like one even though this was the last place he wanted to be in the beginning - and now, he may have to venture back into a world of nothingness, fending for himself, jumping from one area to another in fear of being followed or attacked again. He is thoroughly afraid.

"I...I don't know...but I'll find somewhere," He finally replies, trying to make at least his voice strong since he can't stop his hands from shaking.

"So you're just going to walk out again?" Donghae asks before Hyukjae can push open the door.

"What else can I do?" Hyukjae's voice is low, barely above a whisper, but Donghae hears. It's the only thing he CAN hear. The lonely man turns around. "I can't stay here. I can't keep ruining your life. What good has been coming from me since I stayed here? You've managed to get yourself and education, a job, and a house since you left those years ago and look at me; I haven't done a damn thing except get worse. It's better for you if I just go and don't come back. For good." He turns back around, ready to leave, but Donghae isn't about to let him.

"Who are you to tell me what is better for me? What if I want all the bad? What if I want all the misfortunes that come with you? What if...I just want you?"

"What?"

Donghae chuckles; not that anything is funny, but at the irony of this whole thing. All those years ago Donghae was the one dying to leave, ready to leave that world of homelessness and danger, wanting to take Hyukjae with him and now here he is, wanting Hyukjae to stay as he wanted to leave. "You forget how close we were. We were best friends; all I had was you. You were the only one I could trust and lean on. You don't know how much it hurt to leave back then. You don't know how much it hurt and how scared I was when you said you didn't want to come with me. You had no idea how in love I was with you back then and I had to leave all that to get where I am today. I tried to find you, but I had no idea where you were. Then you come back into my life, in so much trouble, but you still had that snarky attitude of yours and it was like nothing changed; I was ecstatic. You were still the same person I left seven years ago, the same person I loved, but I thought you had forgotten me.

"After all those times you left here, I was so ready to give up on you ever coming back; I was ready to hate you just so I wouldn't care anymore, so I didn't have to miss you. It didn't work," He laughed, bitterly as his voice broke, "Look at where we are now. I still care about you; I still love you. So, I'm telling you, you have a home here - with me - if you're willing to stay. If you still want to leave, fine, leave. I can't make you stay. Just know that if you do, I can't take you back, I won't let you. I can't keep putting myself through this for you, for something that will never actually happen. Not necessarily as 'us', but you changing for the better, for yourself. I hate seeing you like that. I can't stand seeing you in that condition. But if you stay with me, I can help you; you'll have a home, somewhere warm to stay with someone who cares deeply for you. You won't have to be out there, holding your own, or afraid of what will happen the next day. We both know what it's like and I know what this is like and I'm telling you, it's a lot better than anything you'll find out there. So, please, Hyukjae, for your sake, stay."

Donghae just watches Hyukjae's movements, or lack thereof, with bated breath. He's waiting for Hyukjae's answer and he's worried that Hyukjae will choose the wrong option because he knows him. He knows how Lee Hyukjae is. This proud man, who will go against all positives if it means he won't be wrong, if it means he won't be weak. Sometimes, Donghae hated him for that because it always got him in trouble. Every time.

And it ceased to fail him still.

Donghae's heart drops when the conflicted man pushed open the door. He thought he finally got through to him. He thought Hyukjae cared enough for him and himself to stay. Unfortunately, Donghae knew him better than that. His head falls into his palm in defeat and heartbreak. "Hyukjae..." He mutters under his breath.

A slam makes him pick his head up, especially when he hears a sob break the silence. He sees Hyukjae in a pile against he door, shoulders shaking violently in sobs. Although it wasn't a good thing seeing Hyukjae cry, a sense of relief flows through him and leaves him weak enough for a sob to break through his laugh.

He decided to stay.

Donghae flies over to the heap of Hyukjae and just wraps his arms around him, letting him cry, letting him let go of everything - of his life - just to stay here with Donghae and make a better one.

Hyukjae cries because Donghae hasn't left him; he didn't give up on him - he hasn't lost the only person who would stand by him no matter what he did or how stupid he acts.

When Hyukjae was left in all but sniffles, he stayed in Donghae's embrace. He feels like this is the only place he wants to be, to feel this warmth, to have this sense of belonging.

"Ow!" Hyukjae rubbs his head where Donghae had just smacked him.

"You ing babo."

"What was that for?" He sniffles, staring up at Donghae with red, puffy eyes.

"Don't ever do that to me again! I thought you really decided to leave; I was going to be so upset. Don't you - ever - do that - again!" He repeats, smacking him in each pause.

"Okay, okay!" Hyukjae can't help but laugh, ducking from Donghae's hands, "I won't, I won't. Really." That is good enough for Donghae and he goes back to wrapping his hands around Hyukjae's slender frame, leaning his head on Hyukjae's. It feels like a breath of fresh air. All worries are gone at this point, sitting here together in serene silence. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"You're ."

Hyukjae's blunt statement brought another hit to his head.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Donghae says, rolling his eyes.

"A little bit, but yeah," He looks up at Donghae, "Thank you."

Donghae smiles at his sincerity. He is going to jokingly comment that he never said 'thank you' to him before, but decided to bite his tongue. "No need to thank me." He's quiet for a bit before speaking again, "So, you're really here to stay." It isn't a question, but more of a realization.

Hyukjae nods. "I'm here to stay." He's quiet before he speaks this time, "I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Do you... Do you still love me?"

"I...Yeah, I do. So much. I'm sorry if that's weird. If you're not comfortable with that, I'll refrain from doing anything that's weird... Like this..." He unwraps his arms from him with a hesitant chuckle, but Hyukjae takes his arms around him again.

"No," He says, leaning into Donghae, "I'm not uncomfortable. I want you to love me. And I want to love you too."

"Hyukjae," Donghae pushed him back genetly to look him in the eyes, "Me loving you doesn't mean you HAVE to love me too. I'm just glad that you are here, that you decided to give up that life that you led for so long, that we're finally together."

"I know I don't HAVE to love you. I want to. I want to love someone like you. I want to BE WITH someone like you. I've see the kinds of people out there and there's no one like you - no one like Lee Donghae." Donghae can't help but grin widely. "It's going to be hard, but I'm willing to try...if it means you'll help me and won't give up on me."

"As long as I know you're trying, I'll be there by your side."

Hyukjae smiles himself and slowly leans into Donghae, faces only centimeters apart. He stops to give a chance for Donghae's permission to kiss him because, really, that's all he wants to do - to kiss him, to show his happiness, his gratefulness, and his promise - and he's elated. He's elated because Donghae accepts, Donghae accepts him. Hyukjae is kissing him - kissing him not with desire or need caused by vulnerability, but with all his heart, what he had left to give - and no words can express anything he's feeling right now. He's finally found a home. After seven excruciatingly long and painful years, he's finally found an ending to that chapter of his life and can now start a new chapter in a new story - a story in which he knows there are still hardships and obstacles to occur, but at least he doesn't have to fight them alone; at least there's someone who will stay by him in the long run.