Age 15: Accepted
Do You Remember?
His text has been swimming in my brain all day. Today was just a blur; I can’t even go five minutes without wondering what is going on with him. Is he sick? Are his parents getting divorced, like mine did? Does he have some sort of dark secret he can’t tell anyone but me?
I don’t know, but ‘Meet me in the usual spot after school. Have something very important to tell you’ doesn’t sound like a fun time.
I sat through chemistry, world history, pre-calculus, and literature doing nothing but anticipating for the next class. All I had to do was endure those hours of class and I was free. And finally, when the clock struck 5:00, I immediately grabbed my bag and bolted out the door, hoping to make it to him on time.
As I ran to the bridge at the Han River, I realized it had been a while since he and I talked last. Myong Jae went off to university, so Joonmyun’s parents put their house up for sale and moved back to Seoul so they could be closer to Myong Jae’s school. Ever since his move, though, we only really talked on the weekends. Usually, I would try and call him, but he would never pick up. And when he would call me, it would be almost three in the morning. So getting this text in the middle of the day was obviously a godsend.
When I arrived at the bridge, he was nowhere in sight. I walked over by the benches and sat down, placing my bag next to me. As I did, I remembered all the things we used to do as kids. Sitting there and watching all the people pass by was relaxing, even nostalgic at some moments as old memories flashed in my mind. Old memories of long talks and watching the river and star gazing in pure silence. Old memories of corny jokes and wiped tears, study sessions and skipped classes.
I looked down at my phone to check the time. ‘5:30? I’ve already been out here for a half hour?’. I continued to sit there, though, a glimmer of hope still in me that he would eventually show up.
More thoughts started to come to me as I waited for him. ‘Is he okay? What if… what if it’s like one of those dramas on TV? He’s probably coming to tell me he’s moving to Pakistan because he has some rare blood disease and the only person who can cure him is a witch doctor in the middle of the Pakistani desert.’ I shook my head, realizing the crazy idea I had. ‘Su Min, you’re such an idiot.’
Time passed and soon, most of the people cleared out for the day, leaving me alone on the bench. I looked at my phone again. ‘6:14.’ I began to stand up, wiping my clothes off. I turned to grab my bag when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walking up the sidewalk towards me. I heard him saying something, as well, though it was incoherent and hard to understand. But as the figure got closer to me, his voice became clearer and his body more detailed. And that’s when I was able to recollect what he was saying, and even who he was.
He approached me and smiled. “Still haven’t changed, have you?”
“And what took you so long, Kim Joonmyun?”
“Oh, you know. Just being fashionably late.” He winked at me and raised his arms. “Come here, you.”
I walked up to him and put my arms around him, squeezing him as tight as I could. I rested my head on his chest, his Seoul Arts patch itchy on my face. “You don’t even know how much I miss you, Joonmyun.”
He chuckled, resting his chin on top of my head. “Same here, Minnie.”
I let go of him and pointed over to the bench. “Wanna sit?”
He smiled, walking over and sitting down. He patted the seat next to him. “You’d better take it before someone else does!”
I walked over and sat down, looking right back at him and chuckling. “So, Mr. Seoul Arts,” I said, lightly tugging at his blazer, “How did you even get in? I thought you wanted to do history.”
“I do!” he said, “But when my parents and I were looking for schools to enroll into, Seoul Arts was one of them. I actually auditioned as a joke, to be honest, but they let me in.”
“Oh, really? So, what did you do?”
He sighed. “Now, don’t laugh.”
“Why would I laugh?”
Joonmyun chuckled, then shrugged. “I don’t know… you might find it funny.”
“Did you juggle plates like a circus clown?”
“No!”
“Then I won’t laugh!”
I then noticed Joonmyun shifting positions, turning his entire body to me. “I, uhh… sang.”
A was taken aback. “Singing?”
“Yeah, like… ‘la-la-la’ singing.”
I smiled, putting my hand on his shoulder. “And you couldn’t even tell your best friend that you liked to sing… how pitiful.”
“Hey! I didn’t want you to laugh!”
“You know I wouldn’t laugh!” I looked at him and nodded. “But congratulations on getting in, even though I’m a little late.”
“Better late than never.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in the scenery of the evening life of the Han River. I looked at Joonmyun and pointed at my phone. “So what was your text about?”
He turned to me and sighed. “Oh, that.”
“Yeah. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” he smirked, “but I have something real important to tell you.”
I nodded, suddenly getting nervous as to what he was going to say.
“Remember when I said that I auditioned for Seoul Arts just for fun?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I auditioned for SM Entertainment, too.”
My eyes suddenly got big. “And you got in?!”
He smiled. “You’re so smart, Minnie.”
I was still shocked. So shocked, in fact, that coherent words couldn’t even come out of my mouth for a moment. “Wait, so you’d be working with… DBSK-”
“Yep.”
“And Super Junior ‘05?”
“Yes!”
“What about-”
He suddenly let out this booming laugh, lightly grasping my shoulders. “Yes, I’ll be working with them, too. All the SM artists.”
I quickly leaned in and gave him the tightest hug. “Joonmyun, congratulations! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” I let go and looked up at him, his proud smile glowing. “I’m so proud of you.”
He smirked, then lightly patted the top of my head. “Thanks, Su Min. I’m real happy you’re supporting me. Especially with all the changes I have to go through.”
“Wait, changes?”
Joonmyun suddenly started to slowly scoot away from me. “Oh, nothing major.”
“Changes to what?”
He started to get up, looking nervous. “Look, just pretend that-”
“No,” I replied, standing up and grabbing his wrist. “What changes, Joonmyun?”
“I don’t think that I’m ready to.”
I started to get angry. Why couldn’t my best friend, of all the people in the world, tell me something as simple as a few minor changes he would have to go through? “I’ll keep asking until you tell me, so you’d better tell me now.”
He sighed. “Fine, but you’d better sit back down.”
I did as he told me, though my entire body started to slightly shake. What were these changes? Why was he scaring me like this? Though I wanted to avoid the question, I had to know. Joonmyun lightly grasped my hand and looked at me, suddenly looking sad. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He took a deep breath, looking away from me. “I lied to you.”
“Wait, what?”
“I lied to you,” he said louder, looking back at me. “I lied when I said Myong Jae was going to university. It was because of me that we moved. Because I landed the audition at SM. Because we needed to have a place closer to the company. And now because of my stupid audition, I’ll never be able to see the people I love again. I mean, I get to see my parents and Myong Jae once in a while, but I can’t have any free time anymore or see my friends at Daeju or-”
“See me.” I started to get a mixture of feelings. Sadness, anger, confusion. I could feel myself starting to cry, and that was something I hated to do around Joonmyun. “You won’t be able to see me anymore, huh?”
He wouldn’t answer me. He just turned away and looked out at the cityscape.
“Huh, Joonmyun?” I asked, standing up and walking to where he could see me. He turned his head, though, to not look at me. “You won’t be able to see me anymore? Is that what you were going to say?!”
He slightly nodded, then closed his eyes. “Su Min, I’m sorry. But they told me I could debut in the next year. That I could be successful.” He got up and grabbed my hands. “I could provide for my family! Hell, I could provide for you, too! Myong Jae and I can have enough money to go to university, and I could help you get in if you wanted to. And then I could get my parents out of the house we’re living in right now and things could be so much better.”
I looked up at him and tried to smile, but my sadness of him leaving started to overcome my happiness of his success. “Joonmyun, I’m real scared for you.”
He smirked, wiping a tear off my face with his thumb. “I am, too. I ask myself every day if this is a mistake. I mean, I’ve been doing this now for the past six months. Don’t you think I think about how I might not even get in?”
“I know you can do it, though. I know that you’ll be successful in the future. You are going to be the greatest star out there, Joonmyun.”
“And what if I don’t? What if they tell me I can’t debut next year? What if I’m not good enough?”
I chuckled at him, slightly tightening my grip of his hand. “Real supermen don’t leap over buildings at a single bound, Myunnie. It takes small, determined steps consistently over time. Just be patient. Knowing you, it’ll come.”
He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m going to miss you, Su Min. I’ll write when I can.”
“You’d better send that letter real soon, then.”
He let go of me and softly placed his hands on my shoulders. “Want me to walk you home?”
I nodded. “One last time.”
“For old times’ sake.”
“What kind of name should they give me if I debut?”
I smiled. “I don’t know. ‘The Weird One that is a Book Nerd’ would be perfect, but it's a little long.”
“No! I don’t think that’d look good for my image!”
I glanced up at him and laughed. “And what? You have a better idea?”
“I actually do! You know how these newer artists are going by English names?”
“Oh, no you won’t!” I yelled, lightly pushing him away from me, “I will not be watching my best friend on TV while he is being called something like… ‘Paul’ or… ‘Richard’!”
“Well, I don’t wanna be called ‘Paul’ or ‘Richard’!”
I laughed, then realized something. His stage name had been sitting in front of my face the entire seven years I had known him. “What about Suho?”
“Guardian?” he chuckled, “Oh, I’m no guardian.”
“You always have been to me.”
He turned to me and smiled. “Maybe. I’ll think about it, Minnie.”
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