Acceptance letter he read while holding the letter in his hands. The day had come. The day he’s always been afraid of.

“Oh, what is that?” She asked while she took the letter from his hand.

“This…” She said while smiling at the letter.

“You did it! Oppa, you really did it!” She jumped and hugged him.

“Mina…” He said.

“Yes?” She looked at him.

“I don’t want…”

“No! You will! This is what you’ve always wanted…” She smiled at him.

“Mina… You don’t understand…” Myungsoo tried to explain but he was lost for words.

“What?” She looked confused at him.

They were standing in front of the post office. The weather was cold although the sun was shining brightly. Birds were singing from afar. Spring was coming.

“I won’t be here anymore…” He said.

“W-What do you mean?”

“I got accepted… I never should have done this… I was so selfish!” He went through his hair with his fingers.

“No… It was your dream…” She grabbed his arm and smiled at him.

“They have rules Mina…” He looked at her.

He couldn’t explain the pain he was feeling inside of him.

“That’s….. That’s probably our end….” He looked down at his feet.

She let go of his arm.

“Oh…” She whispered.

Then she looked up again.

“It’s okay… Go for it oppa… You auditioned because you wanted it! Don’t let this chance go because of me…” She smiled.

He felt her pain in each word she said. Was that really supposed to be like this? Maybe he could just stop it.

“Don’t even think about it!” She held her finger in front of Myungsoo’s face.

“You will do this! Or I’ll leave you!” She warned him.

“So that’s really our end?”  He whispered more to himself.

If he goes for his dream then he had to leave her. If he didn’t then she would leave him. It was the same in both cases.

“When do they want to talk to you?” She asked while reading the letter.

“In a month…? We have to go shopping first oppa!” She gave him the letter back and walked towards the metro station.

She looked so strong but he knew that she was crying inside. She doesn’t want to let him go neither does he but he knew that if she says something then she’ll do it for sure.
Slowly he began to follow her. She sat down, waiting for the train and he sat next to her. He wanted to grab her hand but they were formed into fists. She was fighting against herself.

“Let it go…” He said without looking at her.

“What?” She turned around and looked at him, her hands still formed into fists.

“Cry if you want to…” He looked at her and she looked away.

“This won’t make it any easier, will it?” She smiled and looked down.

“It won’t but you might feel better after that.” He looked at his feet again.

“It’s okay… I don’t feel like crying…” She said and put her head on his shoulder.

“We will be together again… So I won’t cry… This isn’t a goodbye, right?” She looked at him.

Myungsoo didn’t know what to say. Was this a goodbye or would everything just stay the same?
Then the train came and Mina got up.

“Come on… We have to buy you some shirts… You can’t always wear these checkered ones…” She giggled and got into the train.

Myungsoo smiled a little bit and got up.

Neither Mina nor Myungsoo talked in the train. Both were thinking about their future.
Myungsoo wasn’t ready to let her go. He couldn’t let her go. He decided to tell them that he won’t do it without saying anything to Mina. He would just lie to her and say that they changed their minds.
While thinking about it he smiled. Mina realized that.

“That’s my Myungsoo…” She grabbed his hand.

He tightened his grip on her hand.

3 weeks later

“Where are you and why is it so loud there?” Myungsoo asked on the phone.

“Come join me…” He heard Mina giggling.

“Just tell me where you are!” He said again.

“Paradise…” She said and hung up.

Paradise was the nightclub Myungsoo used to go with Mina before. He quickly took his helmet and drove to the club with his motorbike.
When he arrived there he ran inside. He looked around and saw Mina on the dance floor dancing with another boy.

“Mina!” He said loud but he couldn’t be heard because of the music.

Then she hugged the boy and started to kiss him. Myungsoo felt that he got angry and walked towards them.
He took Mina away from the guy and punched him.

“YA MYUNGSOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” She yelled at him while helping the boy who was bleeding.

“You little bastard!” The boy said and was about to hit Myungsoo when Mina stopped the boy.

“He’s not worth it!” She hissed towards Myungsoo and walked away with the boy.

Myungsoo was standing in the middle of the dance floor. People were looking at him. He couldn’t believe what he just saw. He turned around and slowly walked out.
Then he drove back home and ran upstairs to his room.

“Myungsoo-ya! What happened? I thought you’re going to meet up with Mina?” His mother yelled after him but he just banged his door to his room and locked himself.

He slowly sat down and tears started to roll down his cheek. Then he remembered something and quickly got up wiping his tears away.
He opened his drawer and took the letter out. Acceptance letter.
After taking a deep breath he put it into his jackets pockets. He would go there tomorrow and finally follow his dream.

--------------------------

It’s been months after the incident and Mina hadn’t called him nor did he call her. They were over. He never would have thought that his relationship with Mina would end one day but it did.

“Let’s continue! We don’t have much time!” Sunggyu said and everyone got up to practice.

Myungsoo found new friends here. He was still awkward with them but they knew that it was only his character so they didn’t take it the wrong way.
They would debut soon, so they were practicing really hard. He wanted to show Mina what she had missed.

After some practice they went home. Myungsoo said goodbye to everyone and started to walk out.

“Hyung! Wait for me!” Sungjong ran after him.

“Oh, where are you going to?” Myungsoo asked him.

“Gotta visit my aunt today… She lives around the same area as you…” He smiled.

“Okay then, let’s go…” Myungsoo smiled back and looked at his watch.

It was already 9PM.

“Are you in a hurry?” Sungjong asked.

“Oh, no... I’m not…” Myungsoo smiled and they continued walking.

“Hyung… You know… You seem so cold but I know that deep in there you have a big heart…” Sungjong said looking up at the sky.

“Hmm… Really?” Myungsoo asked while kicking a stone with his foot.

“Yes. I mean… I can feel it… I know it when people are mean or when they are nice… And my feelings say that you’re nice…” Sungjong smiled.

Myungsoo giggled and tapped Sungjong’s arm.

“Who knows, who knows…” He said smiling and looked up at the sky.

-------------------------------

Years came and passed by but Myungsoo was still not able to forget Mina. What was she doing now? Did she have a new boyfriend already? Was she happy?

“Fan letters~” The manager walked into the dorm with a bag full of letters.

“My eyes already hurt….” Seongyeol sighed.

“Ya! Without our fans we’re nothing!” Woohyun said.

“Yes… He’s right…” Hoya agreed.

They started to read some.

“Hmm… This one’s for you Myungsoo-ya…” Sunggyu said as he gave Myungsoo a blue letter.

He opened it and choked when he read the name.

“Are you okay?” Dongwoo patted his back.

“I-I’m fine…” Myungsoo said as he opened the letter slowly. His hands were shaking.

Hey Myungsoo-ya,

How are you doing? How is life going as an idol?
I hope your happy and I hope you can forgive me…
I never stopped loving you. You’ve always been in my heart and never left.
That night in Paradise… Do you remember? I had to do it. I had to do it because I knew that you wouldn’t let go. It hurt me so much to see you like this but see everything turned out well, right? ^_^
I won’t write much cause I think that you might be tired from reading all the fan letters… (:
I only have one request; don’t forget me. I won’t forget you as well.
By the time you’re reading this I will be gone. Please don’t cry for me cause I like the Myungsoo who smiles. I want to remember you like this. And I want you to remember me as the Mina who loved you more than anyone can imagine and not as the Mina who broke your heart.

I love you, I always did and I always will.

With love Park Mina.

“Idiot…”Myungsoo whispered and tears rolled down his cheek.

“Hyung, you okay?” Sungjong asked.

“I-I have to go… I’ll be back!” He got up and took his jacket leaving the other members back in the dorm.

It was raining outside and the sky was pitch black. He put her letter into his pocket and started to run. He had to hide his face in the train, so that he wouldn’t be noticed by any fangirls.
He took his phone out and decided to call her. He didn’t delete her number over the years that had passed.

“The number you’re calling is not avaible. Please try again later.”  A woman spoke into the phone.

‘She must have changed her number.’He thought as he got out of the train.

Then he started to run again and finally arrived at the house. The lights were still . He started to shake again while thinking about her. Slowly he walked into the garden and Kimchi, Mina’s dog, ran towards him barking.

“Hey Kimchi… Do you still remember me?” Myungsoo smiled and kissed Kimchi’s head.

He barked again and jumped at him.

“Is Mina home?” He asked Kimchi and giggled.

Then the external door opened and Mina’s father walked out.

“Who are you?” He asked. 

Mr. Park couldn’t see because it was dark outside.
Myungsoo pulled his hood off and walked into the light showing himself to Mr. Park.

“M-Myungsoo…. What takes you here at this time?” He asked surprised.

“I’m sorry to disturb you…” Myungsoo bowed.

“Oh, no… Come in…” Mr. Park opened the door a little wider for Myungsoo to walk in.

------------------------------------------

Mr. and Mrs. Park talked about this and that with Myungsoo when he finally asked where Mina was.
Mrs. Park started to cry.

“Mina….” Mr. Park said and couldn’t finish his sentence because his voice cracked.

Suddenly Myungsoo felt cold. He was thinking about bad things that could have happened to Mina which would explain why she wasn’t here right now.
Mrs. Park walked out of the room and came back with Mina’s photo in a black picture frame.

“N-No…”  Myungsoo whispered and tears filled up in his eyes.

“She passed away a few weeks ago. She had brain tumor. She gave us a blue letter before she died and said that I should send it to you after she died.” Mr. Park explained.

Myungsoo hugged the frame and started to cry. Mrs. Park hugged him and they cried together.
His heart was hurting. Why didn’t he know about this before? Why did he leave her? Why did he audition? Why did Mina push him towards his dream?

After a few hours Mr. Park decided to drive Myungsoo back to the dorm and told Myungsoo to rest. He gave him the address of her grave.

“Thank you…” Myungsoo said emotionless.

“I’m sorry Myungsoo…” Mr. Park said.

“No, why are you sorry? She was your daughter… You are hurt even more than I am… I’m the one who should be sorry for not being there for her!” He bowed apologizing.

“No boy. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t know… Now go and sleep… It’s been a hard day for you…” Mr. Park patted his shoulder.

Myungsoo bowed and got out of the car. He decided to visit her tomorrow.

The next day

“I can go by myself!” Myungsoo said.

“No Myungsoo… If she means the world to you than she also means the world to us. We are one! Let us share your pain, so it won’t be so hard on you!” Sunggyu said.

Myungsoo sighed and nodded.
After an hour driving with the car they arrived at the grave yard. Mina’s grave was on a hill where you could see downtown Seoul. Right next to her grave was a big tree. Infinite put the flowers they had bought for her on the grave.

“Hey Mina… How are you?”He whispered while her gravestone.

“Why did you do this to me? We promised each other that we would be forever together, didn’t we? So why did you leave me so early?
I've never forgotten you. I’ve always been thinking about you. ‘What is Mina doing? Is she happy now?’ I was always asking these questions… But I never got an answer until I got your letter. Why did you lie to me? I know you wanted me to achieve my dreams but didn’t you know that you’ve always been a part of my dreams? If you weren’t there than it wasn’t something I wanted to do… You’re not in this dream… I don’t want to do this anymore… Do you know how painful this is? After years I thought I could meet you again… But not like this… At least I hope you’re happy up there… I won’t forget you, so don’t forget me! I love you, I always did and I always will!”He kissed the gravestone and got up.

“She’s happy Myungsoo… I’m sure she is…” Hoya said patting Myungsoo’s back.

“Yeah…” He sighed and looked up.

‘Wait for me!’He thought and smiled.