Shocking Conffesion!

Misunderstandings

"Hyung... Mian, but I..I have feelings for you" stated the usually calm leader. Feeling confused and shocked, TOP stubled back into a chair while cuping his hand over his lips. "Hyung..!" GD said with a noticable worried and shakey tone in his voice. TOP still flustered just lets his eyes become wide and his thoughts jump from one end to the other in his head. "Hyung.." GD starts again, "Hyung I don't need and answer. I just wanted to get it off my chest... mian, Hyung." He turns and faces their dorms hallway that leads into the rest of the house and lets a once locked up tear finally fall down his redden cheek. GD takes a silent breathe and takes one step towards his room "For how long?" the deep, seriouseness of TOP's voice made GD shiver in fright. Once again he faces his Hyung but with no eye contact.

"Since are debute..." TOP's eyes quickly set themselves on his dongseung who seems like he's about to explode in tears. "FIVE YEARS?! 5 years, you've been keeping this from me. How do you expect me to react? HUH?!" The sudden angry tone made GD's eyes latch onto TOP's glare. Starring so intensely for a moment till TOP blinked then he quickly averted his eyes again. "I don't expect a reaction. I just need to say it out loud." His hyung stand up and walks over to him and then grabs his forearm, pulls him into his embrace "Too late, I'm already reactiong... now you have to take responsibility for my heart pounding like this." Completely shocked, and out of habit GD pushes his hyung away. "Don't.. don't pity me, I don't need that." He steps back and caresses his elbow as if he was in pain. In an angry tone "YAH.. what about you, aren't you with our Maknae?"

"What?!" GD replies. "When we went on a show to help our maknae and Daesung to get along, you acted as if you and him were SO close. Did you know that I was so jealouse that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom just to calm down?" Out of breathe and not thinking straight didn't notice the dramatic change in mood in his Dongseung. "YAAHH!! the reason I'm barely coming out now is because I thought you and Se7en-sumbae were together." So angry, Ji Young pushes away the chair next to him with his foot. "How do you think I felt when the video of him sitting on your lap came out? Or when he got to sit next to you for the YG Special?" Breathing hard and throat hurting, Ji Young crouched down placing his head in between his legs to stop himself from crying. TOP also feeling tears well up molds his hands into a fist. Both couldn't say a word and both didn't notice that they had and audience. Sounds of clapping made both GD&TOP gasp and straighten up.

"AIGOO... looks like it's a happy ending.. or should I say beginning?!" said with a very getntle humerous voice which belongs to Daesung. Smilling hugely, D-Lite quickly goes to over to his leader and grabs his hand. "YAH, WHERE ARE YOU TOUCHING?!" TOP askes possesively. Ignoring his Hyung's glare, Daesung leads GD over to TOP and puts their hands together. He even pushes them closer to each other. "Aigoo, now this is a perfect picture. No more fighting, TOP hyung likes leader and leader like Hyung so now you are a couple. Young Bae will be thrilled and Seung Ri... well he can just deal with it." Both men holding hands look at each other and blush wildly. Now, avoiding eye contact, TOP asks "Are we really together?" Under his breath GD replies "I hope so." Not being able to really hear his reply he decided to get an answer in another way. He slid his free hand under Ji Young's chin and turned it toward himself.

"Omo!" TOP being a gentle beast, first planted a little kiss on his soon to be boyfriend. When TOP pull away slightly he could see GD with his eyes closed and trailing after for the kiss to continue. Wanting to a bit more, TOP gave him a little peck by his earlobe. The little cute moan he received made TOP go a little crazed. He went in for another kiss but instead of taking it slow like he first planned TOP struck GD's lips and pierced inside with his tongue and let loose his inner beast. The over whelming passionate kiss made GD struggle to stand straight. And TOP's tongue didn't seem to miss a single spot in G-Dragons mouth. GD is now full of energy but is lacking in oxygen, he tugs on his lovers jacket. Not even 3 seconds after his Hyung pulls away does GD throws himself at TOP. Their lips reconnected, though this time it seems GD wants to take the more dominate roll. TOP not wanting to be the submissive one placed his hands on GD's waist and ed him up.

GD then wrapped his legs around TOP and pressed himself closer to his Hyung. For some reason TOP started snickering which cause GD to pull away. "What's so funny?" he asks with a pouty face. "Ani, I just thought of something funny?" GD pouts even more and lets TOP go "I thought it was funny that this is our first kiss but it seems like we might have our first time too with the way we're going." GD automatically blushes and drops his head in embarrassment. "Yah, I thought so too... Maybe you should calm it down so I can open my eyes again" Daesung interrupted while still covering his eyes with both hands. Daesung and TOP start laughing but GD hides behind TOP (like that would make the embarrassment go away)

"I'm too innocent to be watching my hyung's do the nasty in the living room. Plus Young Bae and our Maknae Seung Ri will be coming back soon." Daesung tells them and then starts walking toward the kitchen but the turns around again "OH and to make me knowing you're dating I should also tell you that I'm dating Young Bae." GD quickly rushes in front of TOP and was about to say something till TOP leaned against him. "Yobeo.. lets continue in my room, it has a lock." TOP says while grinning at himself also thinking of ways to tease his new found lover.

(A/N: I hope some of you like this. I changed a lot but I think I changed it for the worst I don't know. Please leave some comments even if they are a little harsh. Thank you! ^-^ )

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DoloresJung
#1
Chapter 1: OH MY GAWD!! I think I fell in love with Korean . >////<
MORE MORE MORE!! Give me more. >///< XDD
<33 I really liked it. ;; u ;;
AsterXemil #2
Ok...first thing's first, there were quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. I point this out because readers can't understand what they are reading, or get stuck trying to figure out how the sentence is supposed to be/what it actually means, so they are important to make sure are correct.

Secondly, there is a lack of detail in the story leading up to the finale of passion between the characters of GD and TOP. For example this sentence:
"He turns and faces their dorms hallway that leads into the rest of the house and lets a once locked up tear finally fall down his redden cheek"

-To add more description, and take out not quite so necessary script here's a modified example:
"Swiftly turning, he stares down the hallway as a fragment of his sadness cascades from shining eyes down his ruby cheeks."

Lastly, at the beginning of the story the time/place needs to be explained so that you can place a hook to draw the reader in. Dialogue is OK to introduce first, but the setting needs to be in place as well.

My opinion: You are an imaginative writer, whose skills may need a bit of tweaking, but the story comes not only from the heart, but from your mind! You've taken something you like, and added a little bit of a personal twist. Not very many have the potential I see in your work, keep it up and write the crap out of your next story