Thank you.

Thank You, for teaching me how to love.

Thank you, for teaching me how to love.

Even though this love you gave me, it was nowhere near perfect.

Even though this love, it wasn’t true.

Even though, no matter how I think about it, was just a joke to you.

Despite all this, I still loved you.

I loved you more than I loved myself.

Even though in the start, when I first saw you, you looked too good to be true. And I knew I would only get hurt by perfect people. I promised myself, I prayed, that I wouldn’t fall for you. And that worked out pretty well.

Until I got closer to you, and love took over.

This love was blind. I was blind. You had your eyes wide open and thought my actions, my love was entertaining.

You were unfaithful. You knew nothing other than lying your way through everything.

Your sweet words charmed me, to the point of no return.

You had me wrapped around your finger.

And even though I knew what you were playing at, I still stayed there.


Thank you for teaching me, how to hurt.


Before I met you, I thought I knew pain.

I thought I knew what it felt like to be heartbroken.

But you proved me wrong.

It hurt. Worse than I had thought. Worse than I could have ever imagined.

I thought dying was painful.

Then I tried dying, and I realized, it was nothing compared to the pain you gave me.

I thought crying was difficult, given my strong character.

But when those words came out of your mouth mindlessly, I realized crying was an easy task.

The disappointment, and regret all crashing down on me.

Disappointment, that you weren't all I had wished you would be.

And regret, that I had fallen in love with you.

 

Thank you for teaching me, that love is pain.


Before all of this, I admit.

I read too many stories.

Too many stories, of love. And how wonderful it is.

And yes, love is beautiful in the beginning, while it lasts.

But the sad truth is, love never lasts long.

And that’s when love’s ugly side shows.

I thought I would never be affected by anyone’s words.

I thought I was strong.

I was wrong, from the moment you insulted me.


Thank you for teaching me, that not everything is as they seem.


I used to be so naïve.

You took that away from me.

You tainted me.

They say ignorance is bliss. I completely agree.

The time when I believed that you were exactly as you made yourself seem to be, it was amazing.

I had no doubts about you back then, because I trusted in people too easily.

When I thought that you being like a fairytale price, was just my luck.

Well, I was wrong. Nothing that good will ever happen to me.

I want to go back to the time, when I was so ignorant to the cruel world outside of my innocent little bubble.

When I thought that everything was just like how they portrayed in romance novels.

Perfect.
 

Thank you, for teaching me that I will never be good enough for anyone.


Filthy.

Worthless.

Trash.

.

Your favourite names for me.

Oh, I remember them all.

Just because I pretended to not care, doesn’t mean I really didn’t.

Before, I thought that maybe, just maybe, the fairytale romance I had always longed for would become reality.

That someone would love me, for me.

That I would be someone’s equal, someone’s muse.

And when I met you, I jumped for it, not looking before I leaped.

You were my idea of a fairytale prince.

Styled brown hair, tall, lean, popular, handsome, kind, funny.

Everything about you screamed perfection.

But I guess I heard wrong.

I guess it really is true that beneath every beauty, lies a beast.


Thank you, for making me the emotionless tough brick I am today.


I admit.

I wasn’t always the way I am right now.

I wasn’t always so immune to signs of affection, to everything around me.

Once upon a time, I used to be so bubbly, so friendly.

So happy.

Not many people know.

Do you think I like being called heartless?

Do you think I like being assumed to be cruel?

I want to be able to laugh freely.

I want to be able to fawn over others, like I used to.

I want to be able to joke and play around.

But I can’t.

Please, heal me.

I want to love again.


Thank you, for teaching me how to be wary.


Back then, I used to trust people.

So much, that even I can laugh at it.

I would just trust anyone I started talked to, because I had the impression that everyone was a good guy.

I was wrong.

Because you came, and taught me that people should not be trusted so easily.

So I closed the doors to my heart.

I sealed them tight with unbreakable wax, because I knew the consequences of it opening up again.

I would hurt.


Thank you, for reminding me that you really don’t care.


I was hoping, hoping so hard, that maybe you would still have a small speck of humanity in you.

I was really hoping that you would remember, that today is my birthday.

I was waiting, just waiting for you to remember.

It’s impossible to miss anyways, with social networking nowadays.

Everyone, even people I had never talked to before, had wished me.

But you? Are you just one of the strangers I pass by on the street everyday?

I don't think so.

So why is it that they can have a heart, and not you?

I guess you just chose to ignore it.

Ignore our memories spent together on this day last year.


Thank you, for constantly reminding me that she’s better than me.


I know.

She’s beautiful.

She’s smart.

She’s obedient.

She’s atheletic.

She was everything I wasn’t.

She was also everything you wanted.

So you left me for her.

Not even giving me an explanation and expecting me to understand.

Well I don’t.

And I know that no matter how hard I try, I can never beat her.

But if there’s one thing that I have more than her, it’s my love for you.


So thank you so much, for everything you have given me.


I think I’ve truly, truly learnt so much from you.

I’ve learnt how bitterness feels like.

Being rejected, is also something I’ve learnt to come to terms with.

I’ll never be the one you want.

So why not, just end this.

If I can’t have you, then I don’t have any other purpose in this circus called life.

You always told me to get lost.

Maybe now, that’s what I’m going to do.

Get lost in my sorrows.

Then hope to find myself, as if I’m worth hoping for.

You wouldn’t notice even if I was gone anyway, so what’s the big deal?

The rooftop. It’s always so calming.

I breathed deeply and smiled at the glorious town before me.

Beautiful, isn’t it?

I’ll never be this beautiful, but I can dream right?

Angels are perfection, aren’t they?

I can’t wait to become perfection.

I gazed at the sun, rising slowly from behind the auburn clouds.

Perfection beckons me.

It’s time.

Goodbye, I’ll get going now.

Byun Baekhyun.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello people this story was inspired by my story a real story!! (except the dying part)

Alright, yeah everything is how I feel about someone. Yes, 100% true only uh I didn't stand on a rooftop cause I'm afraid of heights:x

Hope I hadn't disappointed, cause there isn't much Baekyeol:(

I LOVE BAEKYEOL HUNHAN AND TAORIS ASDFGHJKL. 

Thanks for reading!! ^^

<3

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Comments

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FumiChan
#1
Chapter 1: This was sooo gooood!~ I thought I was reading something like a spoken word poetry. Hehe
anticlimatic
#2
Chapter 1: This is nice~! I love it... Your writing is good - I checked out all your fics... ;D
SJLoverTillDeath
#3
it feels like it is happening to me.. literally....i thought baekhyun was the one who is talking but it end up being chanyeol....
i know how it feels....been in this situation before..but i never tried killing myself for him...
just assumed he was not worthy for me XD
WRITE MORE!! I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOUR STORY XD
IshidaMichaelis
#4
At first I thought that it is Baekhyun who speaks there... But in the end it turned out to be Chanyeol...
Oh, how sad Chanyeol must feel... :(

Anyway, this story is just amazing.. :)
consensualkink
#5
I perfectly know how you feel. I've gone through the same thing.
siggghhhh....

I wanna kill my ex ._. literally D:


The story's excellent. Beautiful!You wrote it in a sense of way that makes the readers want to keep going reading till' the end. That's a gift. Even I can't do the same thing you did. And the poem...
I can say nothing else. It's well done,well-written and perfect.
ShinShinChannie
#6
sorry to hear about you . he or she will regret someday . but i'm hoping for a sequel T_______T i wanna know chanyeol reaction
kmgam1415
#7
I guess who ever your referring doesn't knows how heavy he/she gave you. if he/she does he must be very sorry.

nice poem :)
bokuhebi #8
:'( awww
ThatOneOtherWriter
#9
ooooh. Didn't expect a poem but it was well-done anyway. Rejection . So I avoid it like the plague: never confess. -.-;

Otherwise I'm too happy that you updated. :D
ThatOneOtherWriter
#10
ACK!

Where's the rest?!