Even though you had seen this many times before, you couldn't help but hold your breath as Tao jumped into the air as the first part of executing his flip. It just turned out that today something was different. Maybe it was from the slight cold he had been complaining of before or maybe his foot had just slipped during the jump, but the dark-haired boy flew off the practice mat at an awkward angle and hit the ground with a resounding thump.

    It took you a few seconds before you were able to respond, and you skidded across the wooden floor to his spasming body. His teeth were gritted, and his eyes were narrowed as his lungs took in deep, gasping breaths.

    "Huáng Zitāo!" you said, the stern use of his full name slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it. As his body continued to shake, you wrapped your fingers around his and brought it to your mouth, dropping a light kiss on the knuckles of his hand. He was straining so hard against the pain that you could see the tendons in his neck, clear against his pale skin.

    It was a few more moments before the crowd of people around you truly began to grow, and then Kris was pushing through, crouching down by Tao's side and sliding an arm behind his waist to support him.

    "You should go," Kris said, and you let go of Tao's hand, partly in shock, partly from hurt, and partly due to disbelief.

    "Are you asking me to leave?" you asked, gaping, and suddenly you felt like there was a large curtain being drawn down between you and Tao.

    "Please," Kris said, and there was a slight grimace on his face as he pulled Tao up and slung the boy's arm around his shoulder.

    "But I…" you said, trailing off as Tao limped away without another glance toward you. Did I do something wrong? you asked yourself, watching as they exited the practice room. Immediately, the other members of Exo-M rushed to your side.

    "I'm sure 队长 [1] didn't mean what he said," Lu Han said comfortingly, patting your shoulder. "He's just really worried about Tao. 队长 has always been that way because he is the leader and all."

    "Aah, yeah," you managed to say, and then you were grabbing your bag and heading out the door. "I'm going to go home now. Please continue to practice hard!"

    You didn't dare show your face at the dance studio the next day, so you ended up at home flipping mindlessly through your textbooks, trying to study, but it just wasn't the same without music reverberating in the background and a blue sky background facing your eyes. And that was how four days passed by until finally you were fed up.

    Not even a call… You stared at your phone and let out a frustrated sigh before pulling on your hoodie. It was a little chilly outside, and you wanted to make sure that you wouldn't catch a cold. Why didn't he call…?

    It wasn't a long bus ride, but you found it nearly unbearable when you finally made it to the studio, past the front desk, past the security guard, and eventually the door to their practice room. Taking a deep breath, you could hear "History" playing inside the room and peeked inside. This time the entire group was practicing together, and you couldn't help but feel a little awkward as you let yourself in. You weren't as close to Exo-K as you were to Exo-M, but as they said, they were one, so you shouldn't be as nervous as you are now.

    "Ah!" Lu Han and Sehun both exclaimed, calling your name simultaneously.

    You laughed and came forward, clutching the bag at your side tightly. Inside it was the lunch you had so lovingly prepared for Tao (and the rest of Exo as well), but you felt a bit shy as Tao's gaze rested on you and then quickly turned away.

    "누나~ [2]," Sehun called shyly, motioning toward your bag. "What's in there?"

    "Oh!" you exclaimed quickly, putting down your bag and pulling out the stacks of lunch boxes that you had made. "I brought lunch. I didn't know if you would be hungry or not, but…if you're busy, I can just leave…um…yeah…" You were beginning to feel a bit awkward as the members glanced between each other and then at Tao.

    "I'd love to eat!" Xiumin crowed loudly, and the atmosphere quickly dissipated into several loud laughs. Smiling yourself, you quickly handed out the lunch boxes. You hadn't had exactly the most time in the world, but you had at least tried to make the lunch boxes a little different. However, you weren't going to lie…the greatest amount of time had been put into Tao's lunchbox. You held your breath as he came forward to take it and then released it as he simply took it from your grip and walked away.

    Lu Han must've seen your disappointed expression because he smiled widely at you when you asked them all politely how it tasted.

    "Really 대박 [3]!" he exclaimed loudly.

    You smiled, amused by how easily he differentiated between Mandarin and Korean and then gratefully thanked the members for letting you interrupt their practice time. It didn't slip your notice that Tao remained silent as he ate your lunch, and it surely didn't slip the other members' notices either since Chanyeol elbowed Baekhyun sharply in the rib cage, making Baekhyun cry out sharply in surprise and Suho whirl around to face both of them.

    Chanyeol yawned widely and flashed his dazzling smile at you before patting Baekhyun's shoulder lightly.

    "Suho-hyung," Chanyeol trilled. "Since we're already eating all this good rice, maybe we should go out for an ice cream as well."

    You watched as Suho's eyebrow furrowed, and he eyed Chanyeol somewhat suspiciously. You were surprised as well. Chanyeol was playful, yes, but he was also a hard worker, so you didn't see why he would be asking for an ice cream break now…especially not when it was chilly outside instead of warm.

    Chanyeol looked to Baekhyun for a second, and suddenly Baekhyun was speaking up as well.

    "Yes, when I was younger, 엄마 [4] often told me that the best way to enjoy warm rice was to have ice cream right after!"

    "What about 팥빙수 [5] instead?" D.O suggested.

    A chorus of agreement rang out from the room, and the twelve boys made toward the door hurriedly.

    "Ah, I'll be going then," you said, bowing respectfully. "Thank you for letting me using your time."

    "Wait!" Kris called, and you stopped packing up the lunch boxes that the group had left behind.

    Kris' face was impassive, and you found that you had not quite gotten over your fear of the towering man yet. Craning a head a little, you met his eyes for a few seconds before returning your gaze to the lunch boxes at your feet.

    "Tao," Kris said, and the panda-eyed boy came forward. You stopped packing up your bag for a second to listen to the conversation, but Kris quickly dropped his tone to a whisper. Frowning, you began to pack again but slowly, hoping to catch a snippet of what they were talking about. All you caught were the words "stay" and "injury".

    When you looked up, finished with packing up your bag, the other members had all left except Tao who was standing in the middle of the room rather awkwardly.

    "Should I go?" you asked, motioning with one hand toward the door and swallowing down a bubble of panic inside your chest when Tao looked in your direction. You didn't know what you would do if he nodded yes because Tao, with his soft voice and honest intentions, could never—hopefully never to you at least—lie with his actions.

    To your great relief, he shook his head and walked over the corner to turn on the stereo which had long stopped blasting "History". You took your customary seat in the corner and pulled your knees up to your chest, comfortably resting your cheeks against the top of the small platform you had created. Watching Tao dance was always a pleasure, not just because of his amazing body movements but also because of the concentrated expression that appeared on his face. You also found it unbelievably exciting when his rap came on. It was just so different from his usual voice that you always found yourself second-guessing that it was actually him.

    Today, however, the sight of him dancing wasn't giving you any happiness. Instead, you could feel a large pit in the bottom of your stomach take root and begin to grow. Each time Tao took a step, a pained expression overtook his face, quickly replaced by a grimace, and then a mask of impassiveness. At the end of the song, you swore that you could see his legs tremble a little.

    "Tao," you said quietly, firmly.

    His gaze met yours, and then he turned his head away slightly and limped over to the stereo player to turn it on again.

    "Tao!" you said again, a little louder, and your voice wavered a bit this time. "Shouldn't you take a break?"

    "I don't need a break," Tao replied tersely, and his burning gaze locked on yours before "History" began to play again.

    You didn't last through the entire song this time, darting out of your seat around the end of the first chorus in favor of wrapping your arms around Tao's waist.

    "Huáng Zitāo!" you cried, squeezing him tightly. "Why are you doing this?"

    "Stop," Tao said, but his voice crack and the tears dripping down from his eyes told you what he really meant.

    "자기야, [6]" you murmured, letting go of his waist and leading him down to the corner where you helped him sit down. "How's your waist?"

    Instead of replying, Tao pressed the palm of his right head to his forehead and sighed deeply. "I need to practice more."

    Shocked that he would even think about it, you lapsed into silence for a while until you finally asked the question you had been wanting to ask for a while. "Why did Kris tell me to leave?"

    Tao didn't meet your eyes, instead favoring a line of vision that seemed to scan the entire room except you. "I…" He trailed off before anything of importance could be said, and you sighed.

    Well…maybe now was the time to make use of your elementary Mandarin skills. Tao always seemed to be a little more comfortable speaking his native language than Korean. "请告诉我为什么你是这样. [7]"

    Tao's eyes softened, and you felt the pit in your stomach loosen a bit as you scooted a bit closer and reached out for his hand. It was a huge relief when he allowed you to wrap your fingers delicately around his right hand, making sure not to squeeze too hard.

    "You pronounced it wrong," Tao said quietly, smiling, and you smiled back.

    "미안합니다, [8]" you murmured and then looked expectantly at Tao. Whatever he had to say, you were sure that he would say it now.

    Tao cleared his throat and placed his hand on top of his head, flattening out his hair so that his bangs hung over his eyes a bit. You found the action irresistibly cute but refrained from giggling in fear of ruining the moment.

    "I didn't want you to see me," he finally said quickly, making use of his rapping skills as he slurred the words together slightly.

    "Eh?" you asked, louder than you had wanted to. Confusion overtook your emotions, and you lowered your voice when you asked, "Why?"

    Tao seemed to want to look anywhere but your gaze now as you gently continued to prod for the answer that you wanted.

    "I wasn't…strong," he finally said, and you frowned.

    "You mean you didn't want me to see you injured? You thought you were weak? No! That's not how it was. I was worried…" Before you knew it, you were biting your lip tightly to keep a tear from spilling out. "바보! [9]" you exclaimed, standing up abruptly and making your way to the other side of the practice room.

    Everything was silent for a while until you finally turned around. Tao's tears had stopped falling for now—gosh, he always had been sort of a cry baby, hadn't he?—but his eyes were still red.

    "바보," you said, gentler this time, and went over to crouch down beside him. "As your friend, I'm very upset because I think you should have told me this. As your girlfriend, I'm very lonely now because I feel like you can't tell me this."

    Tao looked up at you, and you grasped both of his hands tightly in yours.

    "I'm only going to say this once because it's really embarrassing," you say and then quickly spit out the rest of your thoughts. "I really think that you're one of the strongest people I've met. Just look at how hard you're training even with your injured waist and not to mention the fact that you're learning Korean as well. And I know that sometimes it must be really hard to deal with the pressures of being a star—and that's what you are, a star—but I hope that at least some of those pressures could be relieved on me. I always want you to be happy, and I always hope that you will be happy as well, so please don't say that you aren't strong…because you really are."

    Taking a deep breath, you decided that it was time to take your leave but quickly found yourself stopped by Tao's hands tightening around yours.

    "谢谢, [10]" Tao whispered, and you let go of his hands in favor of wrapping your arms around his lithe frame.

    "You've gotten a little bit skinnier," you commented, impishly pinching the side of his stomach.

    Tao smiled his cute little smile and did a bbuing bbuing aegyo which sent you into a little hysterical fit of laughter on his shoulder, and after you finished, the two of you sat, just holding hands for a while.

    It took you by surprise when Tao spoke your name, and you looked up at him instinctively, feeling your heart beat just a tad bit faster at his intense gaze.

    He repeated your name and then slowly stated, "사랑해… [11]"

   "You say it so seriously," you joked, but your cheeks were burning as you shyly lowered your gaze to the ground and whispered back, "我爱你. [12]"

    You could have sworn that your heart was going to burst as Tao rested one hand lightly on your cheek and moved forward toward your face. And then—

    "헐! [13]" Chanyeol exclaimed upon entering the room, and Suho quickly took the second of surprise between you and Tao to cover Sehun's eyes.

    "Aish!" Suho chastised, and you quickly turned your head away from Tao, scrambling to grab your bag.

    "Sorry sorry!"

    "And she has the nerve to sing Super Junior's song in front of us," Lu Han joked, but his cheeks were turned up from a wide smile.

    Flooded with embarrassment, you rushed toward the door quickly but couldn't help but turn around once. Tao was standing in the midst of his friends, smiling and shaking his head at some of their accusations.

    "Tao," you called softly, and despite the loudness of his group members, he caught your eye and smiled.

    "See you tomorrow," you finished, waving, and as Tao waved back, you felt the pit in your stomach finally disappear and began to wonder what lunch to bring tomorrow. Tomatoes…no…onions? Hm...

*    *    *

[1] = duì zhǎng // leader (Mandarin)
[2] = noona // older woman - said by younger male (Korean)
[3] = daebak // success / awesome (Korean)
[4] = umma // mother (Korean)
[5] = patbingsoo // shaved ice dessert (Korean)
[6] = jagiya // sweetheart / honey (Korean)
[7] = qǐng gào su wǒ wèi shén me nǐ shì zhè yàng // Please tell me why you're [being] this way. (Mandarin)
[8] = mianhapnida // I'm sorry. (Korean)
[9] = babo // fool, idiot (Korean)
[10] = xiè xie // thank you (Mandarin)
[11] = saranghae // I love you (Korean)
[12] = wǒ ài nǐ // I love you (Mandarin)
[13] = hull // huh, an expression of surprise (Korean)