My eyes. After the accident, my eyes isn’t functioning anymore. Now, I can’t do anything. My looks is all depends on other people. Everything I touch, everyone who got close to me, will approach disaster. I am just a burden. To all person. I’m a useless. I’m no use in this world. I should have just died during the accident. I should not live anymore.

My legs. After the accident, my legs can’t move anymore. Now, I’m depending on the wheelchair. My moves is all depends on other people to push me. Everytime I tried to moves by myself, I will fall. Everytime I tried to not burden others, it’s only what I think. I was just giving them more trouble. To all person, I’m just a pity person who can’t walk and just depending on the wheelchair.

It’s all my fault. If I should have not played in the car, umma and appa must have still alive until today. They will be here in front of my eyes. We will laugh, will eat and will have spend times together in one happy family. They will not be gone. They will not leave me here, alone. Being a burden to other people. Will not.

But,

Because of my stupidness, they are now gone. They are now not in front of my eyes, playing with me. Spending time with me. Eat and laugh with me. No. Not anymore. Not now.

And,

“ Eunji-shi “ the maid called me. I couldn’t see her, I can only heard her. But, I know this voice. I recognize this voice. She’s with me whenever I’m sad. Whenever I’m happy. She will be there for me. “ Hayoung-ah, how many times do I need to tell you ? Just call my name without –shi. I don’t deserve to be respect “ I told her with a smile.

I know she didn’t like me saying that. But, this is the reality. I don’t deserve to be respect. “ Don’t say like that, Eunji-shi “ Hayoung speak. I smile to her. Although I can’t see, but I know she’s looking at me right now. “ Whatever it is, you’re still my employer. Your grandpa still giving me my payment “ she said. Everytime I said that, she will replied with this.

“ He paid you. Not me. You should respect him. Not me “ and everytime she said that, I will replied this. I heard her sighing. Sighing heavily. “ Oh Hayoung “ someone called her. If I heard him again, I think I know what he wants. “ O’ Dongwoon-shi “ I imagine that Hayoung bowing. Hayoung has always been a kind girl. She respect all people in this house. Even the maid.

“ Have you gave Eunji her medicine ? “ I thought so. He’s another one. Been always taking care of me. “ Dongwoon-ah, I’ve tired eating all the medicine. Can I not eat medicine for just one day ? “ I ask him. “ No. You must eat “ he replied. He’s so firm. I just smile towards his action. “ Arasso arasso “ I said to him. Hayoung pass me the medicine. I took it and eat it with water.

“ See. I’ve eaten “ I told him. “ Good “ he said. “ Hayoung-shi, go and take her change. I will take her sit at the park “ Dongwoon said and I heard his step walk away. “ Eunji-shi, let’s go and change “ Hayoung said and push my wheelchair. Hayoung help me change my clothes and push me to the living room. “ I’ll call Dongwoon-shi. You wait here okay ? “ Hayoung said to me. I nods.

I’m sitting at the park behind this big mansion that is built by grandpa for me. He doesn’t want me to go out because he’s worried that I might catch a cold. “ Dongwoon-ah “ I called him. “ Ne, Eunji “ he replied me. “ You like Hayoung, don’t you ? “ I ask him. I’ve been always noticed him. He always act so cold to Hayoung in front of me. But when he’s alone with Hayoung, he always been so nice.

I’ve caught them once. I just woke up from sleep when Hayoung enter my room. But then, when I was about to called Hayoung, Dongwoon enter my room and help Hayoung. The moment was so sweet. “ What made you think like that ? “ Dongwoon ask me. I chuckled. “ I may not have sense of seeing. But I do have sense of hearing you know. Sometimes, hearing tells you the truth than seeing “ I said to him.

“ I don’t suit for her “ he said. “ Who said so ? “ I ask him again. “ My heart “ I was stunned by his answer. Not because of the answer ‘ my heart ‘ , but because I can sense the sadness in his voice. “ You need to fight. That’s how you find true love “ I told him. “ Dongwoon-ah, don’t let go of her. You will suffer. Don’t be stupid. You’ll end up like me “

“ I want to play the piano. Take me in “

***

I heard the piano being played again. The tone, the smooth, the music wave. I really love it. This piano sounds, really makes me touch. It tells me how the person who plays the piano felt really sad in life. How suffer the life. Everytime I walk home, I would listen to this. I would stay here and let it finish playing. Because everytime it stops, I can feel how sad the feeling is.

I wish one day, I will meet the player. I really want to meet the player. Because this person who plays, makes me fall in love. Although just for a while, although just for a moment, although just for a minute, let me meet the person who plays the piano. Because this person, really makes me full of spirits to continue my life.

Again, I heard the piano being played. I stay and stared at the window. Where the piano sounds comes from. But then, after a moment, it stops playing. I smile to myself. I was about to continue walking …

But !

Something stops me. The curtain ! The curtain of the sliding door .. someone pulls it. I .. I saw her. I saw her. The person who plays the piano very well. She’s on the wheelchair ? I can’t believe it. Someone who are not capable to use her legs, but she capable to use her hands wisely. Her hands are magical. I wish to talk to her. I really wanted to talk to her.

I waves my hand to her. But she just ignore me. “ Excuse me “ I called her. She looks scared. “ HAYOUNG-AHHHH “ she shout someone names. But then, a girl with long hair come out of the sliding door. “ Who’s that ? “ I heard her ask the girl. “ Who what ? “ the girl ask her back. She pointed somewhere around me. The girl look at me.

“ Who are you ? “ the girl ask me. “ I .. I’m Sandeul. Lee Sandeul “ I introduce myself. “ I heard her playing the piano. I wish to talk to her. Don’t worry. I’m not a bad guy “ I said to him. The girl look at her. She looks somewhere but not to the long hair girl. “ I don’t wish to meet anyone “ she said. I was disappointed. “ Please “ I beg. “ Just once “

Finally, I get to meet her. She invited me to her house, her big house. She said, she couldn’t go out because her grandpa won’t allowed her. I sit at the park behind her house with her. “ What is your name ? “ I ask her. “ Eunji. Jung Eunji “ she replied me. I nods. “ You’re a pretty girl. Are you still a high school student ? “ I ask her. But I know I shouldn’t ask that question. I just split it out. She look down.

“ I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to “ I immediately tell her. She look up again and smile. She shook her head. “ It’s okay. Yes, I’m a high school student. But you see my condition right ? “ she means her legs. I nods, understand. “ It’s possible for me to school “ she continued. I didn’t ask anymore about her personal life and only have a friendly talk with her.

“ Did you realize something ? “ she suddenly ask me. “ What is it ? “ I didn’t realize anything. What did she mean ? “ You know, I can’t see “ I was surprised. Is that why she didn’t look at me all this while ? But then, I realize that her tears fall. “ Shh don’t cry “ I reach her hand and hold it tight. “ It’s all my fault “ she tells me everything about her. I’m sad for her.

I wipe her tears. “ You don’t have to feel guilty. It’s fate “ the last words I told her before I go. After that day, I always come to her house, accompany her.

***

After that day, he always come and accompany me after he came back from school. And I will play the piano for him. One evening, he didn’t come to my house. Until today, it has been 3 days he didn’t come. “ Hayoung-ah “ I called. “ Ne Eunji-shi “ she replied me. I smile to myself. “ Is Dongwoon here ? “ I ask her. “ No “ she replied. “ Did he said anything to you ? “ I ask Hayoung again. “ Hmm “ she replied shortly. I smile. I know he already admit it. “ You accept ? “ I ask. “ Hmm “

I feel so happy for her. She deserves to be happy. “ Eunji-shi “ I heard Dongwoon called me. I look beside. I don’t know where is he but due to his voice I know he’s somewhere near me. “ Meet your girl ? “ I ask him with a smile on my face. He clear his throat. “ Sandeul-shi, he gives you this message 3 days ago “ Dongwoon put the voice recorder on my lap.

“ I’ll leave you now “ Dongwoon said. When I think, Dongwoon was about 3 steps away from me, “ Hayoung-ah, you can follow him. I wish to be alone “ I told them. It’s not that I want them to be together only. But I really want to be alone. I could hear that they are far away from me. I took the voice recorder on my lap and push the button. I could hear his voice.

Eunji-ah,

I know you can’t see, so it’s impossible for me to write a letter for you right ? So, I was thinking to record my voice so that you could hear me. You know what, I really loves hearing you playing the piano. The way you play, I can feel how you felt.

I can feel that you’re sad, you’re lonely. I fall in love from the first time I heard you playing. But I really really fall in love with you when I first saw you. Saw you, a girl on a wheelchair. I don’t see any defects on you. For me, you’re a gift from God.

I love the way you smile, that eye smile. You’re so lovely. The way you laugh, the way you talk. Everything about you. From the first day I saw you, I know my heart fall for you. I love you. I wish to take care of you. But I know I can’t. I know my time has come.

The moment you heard me, maybe I’ve gone. I’m no more in this world. Remember when I said, to not blame yourself of your parents death ? Because it’s fate right ? I told you. It is really fate. It is fate that we meet. It is fate that God gives me the happiness that I meet you before I died.

My tears fall one by one. I can’t stand any longer.

I never told you right ? Actually, I have the heart cancer. The first time I heard you playing the piano, is the day I know about my illness. That’s why I told you, I know how you felt. That’s why I told you not to blame yourself. It’s all about fate.

My illness is fate. Actually, before I go I wish of something. I want to bring you to the mountain where we can see the sunset. But, seems like the date that I must go comes so early. I wish that we can meet again. I hope you won’t forget me. I know, someday we will meet.

Eunji-ah,

I love you till death. Live your life happily. I know you’re a strong girl.

This is fate. This is fate that I will not catch happiness in this world. But I know, happiness is waiting for me in the heaven. I know there will be happiness for me. And the happiness is waiting for me with him. With him I love. Sandeul-ah, I love you too. I wish I could tell you that. I wish.

That last message he left me. I still remember it until now. Until the day I’m going. Going to meet him. I’m in the middle to heaven now, but I’m happy. I’m happy that finally I’m reaching my happiness. Lee Sandeul, I’m on my way now to meet you. Please wait for me.

***

They meet at the mountain where they can see the sunset. They sit there together and spending their time after death, in heaven.

I love you, Sandeul-ah.

 I love you Eunji-ah.

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