♙

My name is Minah and I am one of the youngest nuns here at the convent. I am here because of personal problems about
which I don't want to talk about. Right now I am walking down a small path in the convent's garden enjoying the beautiful spring
season. ''Minah!'' I turned around to the familiar voice that's been calling me. ''Yes, sister Mari?'' I smiled as I saw the older nun running
towards me. ''Sister An is looking for you. It seems like you'll accompany her to one of her 'sons'.'' She smiled brightly. Curiosity and
thrill ran through my veins hearing words and my feet begun to carry me as fast as they could to where sister An was.

As soon as she saw me she smiled softly. Sister An was one of the eldest nun's at the convent and one of the most social and intelligent ones.
She was loved by everyone, including me. She was like a mother to me and I appreciated that the most. ''Sister An, I'm here.'' I panted
as I arrived by her side. ''Child, you didn't have to hurry that much.'' She laughed softly and patted my clothed head. ''I'll be taking you
to a very special person. I would like you to dress up nicely. Mari prepared a nice dress for you.'' I nodded with a smile.
''We will be leaving in a few minutes so hurry up. I'll be waiting at the front gates.'' ''Alright.'' I nodded again and ran off with sister Mari
to my room.

''Isn't it a bit inappropriate for a nun to dress like that?'' I asked as I looked into the mirror as soon as I wore the dress. It was pretty.
A light summer dress which reached over my knees, sprinkled with small red flowers on a creme colored background.
''Psh~ Minah, you're one of our children and not a nun. Well, at least not yet.'' Sister Mari explained and I pouted. I always
thought that I've become a nun as soon as I entered the convent. ''Let's go now. Sister An is waiting.'' She laughed and escorted
me to the front gates were sister An was already waiting. ''Shall we?'' She smiled and got into the black car that was waiting for us.

''You look uncomfortable.'' She said looking at me how I fidget with the ends of my opened hair. ''Kind of.'' It was the first time in
three years that I was out of the convent not wearing my nun's uniform and I kind of felt without it. Sister An gave me a quick smile
before we came to a halt. I looked out of the window and saw a familiar scene. I was scared the moment we've got out of the car.

''Are you sure that we're at the right place?'' I asked to make sure that there wasn't any mistake but sister An nodded. ''Yes, I am.''
She turned around and started to walk towards the huge gates. We were in front of a prison. Not any ordinary prison. It was one of those
in which horrendous and dangerous people were locked in and most of them were even sentenced to death for their crimes. It's one of
the places from which the convent saved me. But that's another story.

''Minah?'' I heard sister An call me and turned around to walk towards her. I nervously played with my fingers as the policeman
made us follow him to one of the visitors room. ''He'll be here soon.'' He said and left. The room was blank. The only thing in there was a
metal chair which stood in front of a glass window in which a few holes were. I turned to sister An with confusion and fright
all over my face. ''Why are we here?'' I asked her. ''Minah, I want to show you someone I've grown attached to the past years. He's like one
of my sons. He's just like you.'' She whispered the last words. Before she could say anything else the door on the other side of the glass
window opened. Sister An sat down on the chair and smiled softly as the policemen brought a young boy. He sat down
at the other side of the glass window right in font of sister an at a table. ''Good afternoon, Kai.'' She whispered.
The boy didn't say a word and just stared at his cuffed hands. Suddenly a man stepped into our side of the room and smiled
as soon as he saw sister An talking to that boy. ''Hello, sister An.'' She turned towards the man and smiled. ''Why hello, Chanshik-sshi.''
As soon as that man called Chanshik saw me he bowed. ''Oh, hello. You must me Minah. Sister An talked a lot about you.''
I returned a polite bow. ''Yes, I am Choi Minah. Nice to meet you.'' I almost whispered.

Just then I noticed that the boy called Kai looked at me. I gave him a shy nod not losing eye contact. I just noticed his dark and intense
eyes which didn't really have an intimidating feel to it for some kind of reason. ''Kai, this is Minah. The girl that I've been talking
about the days before.'' He nodded and looked back at me without saying a word. ''Chanshik-sshi, I have a favor to ask from you.''
She smiled and pointed to the door. ''Kai, I leave you to Minah. I hope you'll introduce yourselves properly.'' She chuckled
and got up leaving the room with Chanshik.

An awkward silence fell upon the two of us. I moved my feet and sat down on the chair in front of him. My eyes although were glued
on the table. ''Are you a nun like sister An?'' I looked up surprised by his velvet like voice. ''Not exactly.'' I said honestly.
''Oh.'' He sighed. I kept pulling the sleeves of my cardigan down out of nervousness. ''How old are you?'' He asked and I looked
up back into his dark eyes. ''18. You?'' He looked at his palms. ''You're one year younger than me.'' Just then I noticed his facial
features. He had plumb lips, a sharp jawline and porcelain white skin. He looked like he didn't see the sun in ages.
''Tell me what's on your mind right now.'' His dark eyes were now rather warm than cold and I saw a small smile forming on his lips.
I blushed at the thought of being readable like an opened book. ''I just wondered for how long you've been here.''

He sighed. ''Too long.'' I avoided eye contact and kept pulling on my sleeves. The conversation didn't flow as easily as it should I supposed.
The door opened and sister An and Chanshik walked back into the visitors room. ''Why.'' I whispered. The atmosphere turned unpleasant.
It was quiet, too quiet. I looked up into Kai's expression and it had changed from a calm one to a frightened one. ''Kai!'' Chanshik ran out
of the room and appeared at the other seconds after holding onto Kai's shoulders. ''Everything's okay.'' He whispered and rocked him
from side to side. ''I'm sorry but I'll have to take him back to his cell.'' Chanshik said before bidding goodbye. All the time Kai kept repeating
the words ''I am sorry.'' and it made me scared. Did I say something wrong? I looked back at sister An who sighed.

''I have to explain a lot of things to you.'' She begun as we were back at the convent sitting down at a table in her room. ''Kai is one
of the young people I've ben visiting for years now. He's in prison because he killed someone. I don't know the reason yet. He
can't talk about the case. You've seen his reaction, right?'' I nodded and sister An continued. ''Kai has been in prison for three
years now. He's been waiting for his final punishment.'' My eyes widened at her words. ''You mean...'' ''Yes, Minah. Kai has
been sentenced to death.'' But he seemed so calm the moment he's been talking to sister An. Why was he so calm?
''I know you might be confused as why I chose you to come with me. You see, if I hadn't found you that fateful day you'd be
dead. Your life was like a death spiral.'' She took my hands in hers and looked deeply into my eyes. ''Minah, could you do me the
favor and talk to him, visit him? I don't know how much he has left in this world so make his remaining days pleasant, okay?''
I nodded and she gifted me with a soft smile. ''Thank you, Minah.''

Visiting days were on each Monday, only 45 minutes per visit.
I was back there in the same visitors room waiting for Kai. ''Minah, you're here again?'' Chanshik greeted me happily not even asking
why sister An didn't come this time. ''I'm glad that you're here to visit Kai. He's been talking about you recently.'' I was surprised.
''He did?'' But before I got the answer the door opened and Kai came in sitting at the table right in front of the glass window.
''Hello, Kai.'' I greeted with a soft voice remembering the incident from last time. He nodded avoiding eye contact.
''I'm sorry for what happened last time.'' He whispered with his eyes still fixed on the table. I smiled. ''No problem. It was my fault.
I shouldn't have...you know.'' He nodded. ''I think I'll leave you alone for a while.'' Chanshik suddenly announced as he left the
room.

It grew awkwardly quiet. ''Minah.'' He suddenly said and I looked at him. This time he was facing me with an unreadable expression.
''Do you believe in god?'' His question was so innocent and mature at the same time. I nodded. ''If god wouldn't exist then I wouldn't
be here talking to you.'' I answered honestly remembering my past. Somehow I got the feeling that I could talk to him about my bad
experience with life. ''Tell me more.'' He sounded so curious. ''I was a drug addict. I was only 12 years old as I started doing drugs.''
I looked back up to his face to see that he was still looking at me with the same expression. He wasn't judging me and I liked that part.
''With 15 I've reached the bottom. If sister An wouldn't have found me then...I'd be dead by now.'' He nodded. ''Why did you start
doing it?'' I looked down at my fingers. ''I don't really like talking about it so much but...I want to be honest with you.'' I looked
back up into his dark eyes. ''But in return I want you to be honest with me. I'd be unfair if I was the only one telling the truth.''
I waited for his nod that he gave me a few seconds after. So I continued. ''When I was 10 years old my father left me and my mother.
We didn't have much money so my mother thought that the only solution would be ing. Soon she brought several men
with her who'd constantly do drugs with her. She liked it. After two years she had the brilliant idea to let her daughter sell drugs
to other men and women. That's how I got into contact with drugs the first time.'' Kai kept nodding and his expression changed
to a worried one. ''You knew that they were bad. Why did you take them then?'' He asked with a serious voice.
''I don't know if you know that feeling....that feeling of being helpless and alone. I've felt it every single day.'' Tears whelmed up
in my eyes. ''My mother didn't show me any glimpse of love nor anything that proved that she loved me and cared for me.
I was just a dirty rag in her eyes.'' The tears spilled. ''I know what you're talking about.'' Kai whispered and buried his head in
his palms.

Like that we remained for the last minutes of my visit. I bid goodbye to Kai but he had a small favor to ask. ''I'd like to write you
letters if that's okay with you.'' He said and I smiled. ''I'd be happy to hear from you.'' And with that I left.

Several days later a letter arrived addressed to me. I was surprised at first but then I remembered Kai's words and smiled holding the
neatly folded paper in my hands. These past days I couldn't get the image of his face out of my mind. His understanding words
pierced through my ears every time I remembered our conversation. ''I know what you're talking about.'' That deep voice of his
had quite an impact on me. I even started to dream about him. I sat down outside and opened the letter seeing his nice handwriting.

Dear Minah,
I am not a really good writer and I am scared that my letters might turn out rather depressing than happy.
Today I saw the first sunset in weeks. I especially asked the guards to let me see it and to my surprise they
let me. I wish that you could have seen it, too. It was beautiful.
Minah, did you know that clouds are able to look like rabbits? Or even dogs? I laughed as I saw them running
around through the cloudy sky. You have to know, I really love the sky. It changes so much but despite that
it remains the same and everyone can see it. I hope that you keep a good look at it whenever you are outside.

I smiled reading each of his words. He sounded like an innocent child that was writing letters to his teacher. I folded the paper and
walked up to my window. I opened it and looked out up to the clear blue sky. ''Do you see it, too?'' The question was for Kai, even though
he couldn't hear me. I decided to write a letter back to him. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and begun to write.

Dear Kai,
do you see the sky right now? It is blue, so blue that I think that it can't get any bluer. I am a bit sad because there
are no clouds. Maybe the rabbits and dogs are resting from their fun running? Who knows.
I have to say that I really like the sky, too. Especially the night sky when you can see the twinkling stars
that shine down upon us. Even the moon is sometimes smiling from up there.
If it would be possible I would like to show it to you. I would like to enjoy the view together with you.
But I know that it's impossible. So I drew you a picture so that you can see the night sky just like I see it.

I did as I told in the letter and drew the night sky for him. It may seem like a black piece of paper with white dots on it but
to me it was the night sky that I loved so much. I folded each paper carefully and added it to the envelop. ''Make him happy.''
I told the envelop and laughed at my silliness.

After a few weeks, tons of letters Kai and me grew closer and closer. Even Chanshik sensed that there was a pleasant closeness
between the two of us. Today was another Monday and Chanshik asked me if I was able to cut Kai's hair because Kai was scared
of other people with sharp objects. I didn't decline and happily agreed.

''You have to know that I'm not a really good hairdresser.'' I said running my fingers through his black hair. ''It doesn't matter.''
I smiled and begun to cut his hair. He sat there patiently and calm. As many times I asked myself how such a nice and lovely
boy could kill someone. After more cuts I finished. I walked to the front of him and smiled satisfied. ''It looks better than I
expected.'' He chuckled. Chanshik came in with a mirror to show Kai my work. ''Good work, hairdresser.'' He winked at me
and for the first time I slightly blushed. ''Good then, let's get you back.'' Chanshik took the towel that was on Kai's shoulders and
walked to the door first. I was about to follow him but suddenly Kai grabbed my hand and slid a tiny piece of paper
into my hand. I turned to look at him but he just signalized me to keep quiet. I nodded and his the paper in my hand.

As I was sitting in my ride back home I opened the piece of paper. It was a letter, from him. I sighed and decided to read it at the convent.

Dear Minah,
Remember the day when you told me that you would be honest with me if I was honest with you in return?
You had asked me why I did it and I really want to tell you my story. You will listen to me, right?

I was 13 years old, an orphan from birth on. Living on the streets and gaining money from ion.
It sounds awful, I know, but that's how I lived. After a stormy day I have met a younger boy. He was disabled,
not being able to see. Poor boy. His name was Chanyeol and he was four years younger than me. I decided to
take care of him and after a few month we grew together and were just like a small family.
Of course it didn't stay that way. One day I have met a strange guy who helped me gain more money so I could
take care of Chanyeol better. But as soon as Chanyeol found out what I was doing to get money he wanted
to stop me. Sadly he got run over by a truck while trying to find me.

That strange man appeared again and told me that I was in great dept. I had to pay off the dept or else
he would have killed me. I was at the train station, 15 years old, as the sin happened that caused my
current situation. A woman with a small baby were standing right next to me waiting for the train.
It was raining so she tried to hide from the pouring water. Me, too. The man appeared beside me and whispered
if I knew how it sounded if a human head was crushed. I turned to him in fear and without thinking
I took the woman's umbrella which she had round her wrist and stabbed it through that man's eye.
Then I noticed screaming and turned around. The train arrived and to my horror the woman and her
child were down on the rails right in front of the arriving train. I closed my eyes as the cracking sound
ringed through my ears. Crying I looked at the scene in front of me. 

It was my fault that this woman and her child died. I deserve this punishment but...I am scared of what awaits me.
I would be glad if you could still visit me after this.

Tears were running down my cheeks as I read his letter. I didn't know what to think about at this very moment.
Should I feel pity for him or anger? Was he at fault because he wanted to kill him or was he just a victim of that man's
doings?

The week passed without a letter from Kai and I got very worried about it. It was Sunday morning as sister An suddenly
appeared at my room. ''Minah.'' Her voice shook and I knew that it would be something bad that happened. ''They called.''

I jumped out of my room, still wearing my nun uniform as I ran to the gates were our driver already waited. ''Hurry up, please.''
He drove as fast as he could. It was a sign of god - he cleared the traffic so that I could arrive on time at the prison.
I saw Chanshik wearing his uniform and a stern look on his face. ''Chanshik-sshi! Where is he?'' I asked worried clinging onto the
older man's hands. ''He's being prepared for his final punishment.'' He bend closer to me and whispered into my ear.
''He wanted to bid his goodbye at the small chapel before being sent to the punishment room. If you hurry you'll be able
to talk to him for a last time.'' I nodded and thanked him with a smile.

My feet ran and ran as soon as I found the small chapel. No one was in there so I fell to my knees at the very front pleading
that he would come. Then to my surprise the door opened and he walked in. He didn't see me at first, neither did the
guards who let him in. They left giving him ten minutes before closing the door.

He was there standing at the far back. I rose from my spot. ''Kai.'' I whispered with already teary eyes as I saw him.
A bright smile appeared on his face as he walked up to me. His hands weren't cuffed anymore so he could wrap
them around my body hugging me tightly. No words were spoken - the moment was too precious for both of us.
He let go of me and stepped back looking into my eyes for a last time. ''The uniform suits you.'' He whispered
while his hand moved to my cheek cupping it softly. He leaned in closer and rested his forehead on mine while
closing his eyes. ''I am scared.'' He whispered with a shaking voice. ''I am scared that I won't be able to leave this world without you.''
Tears were running out of both of our eyes. ''You have to visit my grave as much as possible.'' I nodded more than once.
He opened his eyes and looked at mine wiping the tears away with his thumb. ''Live life to it's fullest, Minah. I want
you to be happy. Look up at the sky and think about me whenever you can. I'll be watching over you from up there.''
He forced a smile. ''I love you.'' I whispered and reached up to his cheeks to cup them. I pulled his head down and
placed my lips on his. For the first and last time. ''I love you.'' I mumbled against his lips again.

A knocking pulled us out of our final goodbye. ''The ten minutes are over!'' The guard shouted.
''I love you, too.'' Kai whispered before he walked to the door where his guards already waited.

30 minutes after that he died and left me alone at the chapel. ''I love you.'' I whispered while still crying. ''I love you.''