Myungsoo woke up panting. He looked around and found himself still in the comfort of his shared room. “God…” Shaking his head violently, Myungsoo jumped out of bed and darted out of the room. He has fallen asleep while reading the script for his upcoming drama. Running to the room adjacent to theirs and opening it with a loud bang, Myungsoo checked for the presence of his lover despite of the pitch black darkness of the room. Ignoring the string of curses from the half-awake Hoya who was apparently awakened from the noise, Myungsoo leave the room without even bothering to close the door. Sungjong’s bed was empty… and Myungsoo paled. No, it couldn’t be. Sungjong had not left, had he? It was just a nightmare, wasn't it? Then, why was his bed empty? Sungjong couldn't have…

"L-hyung?"

The visual spun on his heels in shock. Sungjong was leaning against the kitchen entrance with a mug in his right hand. He looked confused. “Are you okay, hyung? You don’t look too good.” Myungsoo took a deep breath and studied the younger man standing just a few meters away. Copper brown hair, doe-like brown eyes… it was his Sungjong, his lover – vocalist and diva maknae of INFINITE. His Sungjong was still there. Instead of showing his relieve, the visual glared. “Damn it, you woke me up Sungjong. You know I have a busy day tomorrow. Next time, try not to make any sound if you wake up at this goddamn hour again.” With that, Myungsoo retreated back to his room and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. He failed to see the dejected expression that crossed Sungjong’s face.

Three nights later…

"Damn it, Sungjong! Look at what you've done!" Myungsoo howled, pointing his finger fixatedly at the used-to-be dry DSLR and photographs. Sungjong, while trying to bring coffee for the exhausted visual, had accidentally tripped and sent the cup of caffeinated drink flying into the air. The cup and dark liquid landed squarely on the camera and the photos that were resting on the table, splashing some of them onto Myungsoo's expensive plaited shirt. Sungjong winced at the force in Myungsoo's voice. He screwed things up like he always did. "I… I'm so sorry, hyung. I didn't mean to."

"To hell with your apologies. You know very well how important to me this camera is… haish… what should I do with you. Why do you always have to bring me grief? I've had enough of your ! Get out of this room now. Out!"

"Hyung! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, Hyung! I was just trying to make you happy!"

"I'd be happy if you're not around. GET OUT!" The enraged visual dragged the sobbing maknae out of his room and shoved the younger man inside his shared room with Hoya. He ignored the silent cries and apologies of Sungjong from the other room.

Myungsoo went out to his room to cool off his head. Lately, he was pressured with the entire schedule he had and Sungjong became the scapegoat of all his frustrations. “L, can I talk to you for awhile?” Sunggyu asked Myungsoo when he found him at the living room, he could still hear the sobbing of their maknae from a distant and he obviously knew that Myungsoo was the cause of all the pain and nightmares that their maknae was experiencing. He didn’t want to be nosy or what, but the frequent lover’s quarrel between the two has been affecting their performances and teamwork. Being the leader he needs to take action before the current situation will became worst. “What was that all about? Did the two of you fought again?” Instead of answering to Sunggyu’s question, Myungsoo responded with a glare. “You know what, you should take it easy on our maknae. It was your idea to have a relationship with him but lately you were only inflicting him pain. If you are pressured with your entire schedule, try not to vent your anger and frustrations towards him. He has his own problem to take care off. Instead of fighting you should help each other. It won’t be long before he would breakdown for real. Just think about it L, think about where is your relationship with Sungjongie going to. It would be better to end your relationship before you could further damage each other.” Myungsoo remained silent. Apparently, he was also confused with all the things that were happening between him and his lover. And if the things that the guard told him were true, he will be damn for sure. “By the way, we’re going out for dinner and I know you’re not in the mood to join us, so want to bring you and Sungjongie anything?” Sunggyu ended with an eye smile and with that, he leaved Myungsoo to ponder with his words.

 About half an hour later, the apartment was unbelievably quiet again, save for Myungsoo's occasional growl and sighs. Sungjong’s sobbing had already stopped meaning he has either fallen sleep or went somewhere to have some fresh air. Okay, he overreacted again. Truthfully, the camera was still under warranty since it was new and he could bring it to the service center any time he wants. He just wanted to teach his lover a lesson.

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips. Maybe he was too harsh on the younger man. A flash of lightning suddenly illuminated the night sky, followed by the grumbling thunder. Soon, it was raining cats and dogs. Sunggyu has texted him earlier that they won’t be coming home for awhile because of the weather disturbance. By the time Myungsoo decided to check for Sungjong, it was already thirty minutes past one in the morning. Myungsoo silently trudged inside Sungjong’s room, hoping that his lover was there sleeping and hugging his stuffed bear. Unexpectedly, his lover’s bed was empty save for the stuffed bear and a book that was sticking out under the pillow. He debated whether or not should he open the mysterious book – mysterious because he knew it could not be any books that Sungjong used to read. Five minutes later, curiosity won over pride.

Myungsoo certainly was not prepared for the content of the 'mysterious' object.

It was like a daily journal kept by Sungjong. Every entry started with "Today, Myungsoo said these to me:". In every entry, all the harsh words Myungsoo ever told Sungjong, whether accidentally or intentionally, were kept tidily. The words included 'You’re annoying', 'You irritate me', 'You frustrate me', 'Damn it, diva', 'Get out of my sight!', 'Get lost!' and so on. Myungsoo suddenly felt so sick that he wanted to vomit. The book fell from his shaking hands onto Hoya’s bed. For some reason, it was open where Sungjong's last journal entry was written on. A white paper obviously torn from the a sketch pad was attached to the page, below a single sentence that marked the entry, which was "I'm so tired." Myungsoo tore the attached paper out and unfolded it to reveal a carefully written poem. The title caused the visual to choke.

"Within This Shattered Heart" by Lee Sungjong

Myungsoo read on although his whole body was trembling.

Your touch

was like breeze in winter:

tender and smooth but

cold; chilling to the bone.

Your words

were sandstorms in deserts:

harsh and blunt and sharp

and blinding my sight.

Your heart

was twilight of the night:

beautiful in their eyes

but cold and hard on the surface;

repelling the warmer light I gave

never appreciating.

Your eyes

were designer jewels on display:

shining with forged vivacity,

lovely and priceless, they were

admired and loved,

but frozen just the same.

Your love

was a sweet cotton-candy:

easily melts and fades away,

hardens at a damp touch.

Too short the sweetness lingers,

replaced by a thirst

that you cared not of.

If the poem surprised Myungsoo, the lines at the bottom of it shocked him more.

I'm so scared of myself.

L-hyung, please save me!

Myungsoo shoved the piece of paper into his pocket and rushed to his room to get his phone. He quickly dialled Sunggyu's number and demanded to speak to Sungjong. "What are you talking about, L? Sungjong’s isn't here. He didn’t go after us. I thought he was with you at our dorm." Myungsoo didn't wait for Myungsoo's next words. He was already looking for signs of Sungjong on the street, not caring of the heavy rain and violent wind. While wondering where Sungjong could have gone to, a strong sense of déjà vu hit him hard. This was just like his nightmare a few days ago… 'Holy God…' He brought his gaze up to look at the rooftop, and froze. "No… Sungjong!" He didn't think. He just ran, not even waiting for the elevator. The word "No!" repeated itself like a mantra in his head.

He failed to notice the turmoil in Sungjong's heart. It was so easy to overlook the pain with Sungjong's cheerful front. It never crossed his mind that the smile pasted on Sungjong's face was just a mask. Damn himself and his stupid pride! Sunggyu was definitely right. Sungjong was already on the edge of breaking down and he'd pushed him over it. 'Jongie, my Jongie, I'm so sorry!' He didn't mean it when he told Sungjong he'd had enough of the younger man. He didn't want to say it. His defense just kicked in before he had the time to register what he was saying. Myungsoo ran, and ran to the captor of his heart.

The booming thunder matched the scream in his heart. He just hoped he'd be in time to reach Sungjong. "Sungjong! Don't do it!" However, the maknae was oblivious to everything around him.

Just a little more and he'd reach Sungjong.

Just a few more steps

Sungjong  jumped.

"SUNGJONG!"

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First of all thank you to those who commented and subscribe to this story... this was supposed to be a one-shot only but i decided to divide this story into three parts... 

Sorry for leaving a cliffhanger again...hehe...

i am sick lately... you know the feeling that you want to eat but your body is rejecting all the food that you are taking it... it is making me crazy....

sorry for ranting...

thank you and bye-bye for now...