Chapter Seven

It’s been a week since I last talked to WooRam oppa and my emotional breakdown from the event of. I was still feeling a bit emotional, especially since he lives right next door and I see him practically every day.

Each time we see each other I just can’t help but feel awkward around him. Though he has no inkling of my feelings for him, it’s still awkward for me to see him. He would ask if I was ok with everything and I would of course lie to him and just nod my head with a wide smile on my face.

Sigh.

I really need to get a grip of reality. There’s no fault involved so why stress myself over something that was never really meant to be. WooRam oppa was never mine to begin with therefore I shouldn’t feel like I was betrayed or discarded. Life throws you numerous curveballs and this was one of them. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Oppa has his own life to live and I shall do the same.

Sigh.

All this philosophical thinking is really hurting my head. I’m too young to be thinking so deep about life and its meaning.

I straightened out my sundress, tying my hair in to an up-do. I look at myself one more time in the mirror as I fix my bangs. I swing my cross-body bag over my body as I grab my keys. After a week of being cooped up in the house, my own choice by the way, the girls finally got through to me and manage to get me to go out with them.

As I lock my front gates I could hear the gates from next door opening. I froze. I quickly glance over, hoping that it wasn’t WooRam oppa. And of course it had to be. Be strong Nicole!

“Nicole.” I hear his voice calling my name sweetly.

I quickly shook off any thoughts of disappointment before turning to him with a bright smile.

“Oppa,” I happily greet him.

“Are you off to hang out with your friends?” He asks sweetly.

I just nod. There was nothing I really needed to say.

“How has your summer been?”

Crappy! That was what I wanted to scream to him but I held it in. “It’s been pretty normal. Nothing major, I think I would just want a quiet summer.”

I manage a girlish giggle. I held everything in as I continue to smile at him.

“Try and enjoy your summer. You and your friends should take a trip somewhere together before the summer ends. I did that with my friends before the beginning of my last year and it really rejuvenated me for the year. You tend to find out a lot about yourself during those trips. Who knows, maybe you’ll figure out what you want for your future as well.” He sweetly advised.

I genuinely smiled at his advice. I truly did appreciate it. But I think I’ve found out enough about myself already. I don’t need or want too much all at once.

I nodded sweetly as he ruffles my hair.

“Are you going to see Bora unnie?” I manage to swallow my pride and ask.

He chuckles happily, “yeah, we have a date.”

“Anything special?” I don’t even know why I bothered asking but it just came out. It wasn’t like I actually cared.

“Nothing, we’re just hanging out.”

I nodded and he smiles at me as he ruffles my hair again.

“I better get going. Don’t want to keep her waiting right? Girls hate that right?” He smiles and winks at me.

I force a smile as if to agree with him. Like I care if she gets mad at you! You know what? I do hope she gets mad at you for making her wait!

“I’ll see you later Nicole. We need to hang out again soon.” He calls out to me as he makes his way down the slope.

I continue standing there with that forced smile as I wave him goodbye.

Sigh.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs at the frustration I was feeling. I quickly fix my ruffled hair as I took a deep breath. I suddenly felt a rush of bitterness washing over me as I replayed the conversation we just had.

Who was he to give me life advice! He’s only a year older and acts as if he knows so much about the world already! Aish!

This new found bitterness I had towards WooRam oppa came rushing over me without realization.

Sigh.

Aish!

I ruffle my fixed hair out of frustration. Damn these mixed emotions. I really hate having all these feelings and not knowing what to do with them!

I release another sigh of frustration as I turn myself back towards my house, that conversation basically ruined my mood and I was not about to burden my friends with my sour mood. I was a few steps away from my front gate when I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

“Nicole!”

I turn towards the direction of the voice to see KiBum coming towards me. What puzzled me was the direction in which he was coming from.

“KiBum? Were you coming from HoWon’s house?”

“Yeah, I came here to meet up with WooHyun. Are you off to meet the girls?”

I look back at my gate and then turn towards the main streets. “Yeah, I guess.” I reply with a defeated tone as I made my way down the slope.

"Wait up, I’ll come with.”

He caught up to me and we walked side by side.

“Aren’t you hanging out with WooHyun and his friends?”

“I was, but I got bored. All they’re doing is playing video games.”

“And you don’t like that?” I sarcastically remark.

“There’s only so much you can play before you end up playing the same thing over and over again.”

“Do they know that you’ve left?”

"Pretty much, I told them I was gonna go over and see you. And once they’re done their repetitive gaming then to give me a call to do something else.”

“And now you’re ditching them completely and following me to meet the girls.” I smirk as I .

“I’m not ditching, I just found something else to do. I’m gonna text WooHyun to let him know so if he wants to join me he can.” He defends himself.

I chuckle at his defense. At a moment like this it’s nice to have a friend to talk to. Though he doesn’t know what happened to me I’m glad to have him here to unintentionally cheer me up.

We took the bus to our usual meeting place at the Mango Six. The girls were all there and were surprise to see me coming in with KiBum.

“We didn’t invite you.” JinAh pointed at KiBum as we made our way closer to their booth.

“Yeah, tonight is supposed to be a girls’ night.” HaRa added as she leers over at KiBum.

I couldn’t help but laugh at their unwelcoming reaction towards KiBum.

“Yah! I’m hurt that I’ve been excluded from these gatherings.” Being the diva that he is, of course KiBum would defend himself and turn it on us girls.

“Well you do have your group of guy friends that you hang out with don’t you?” JinAh questions him.

“So? That might be but why should I be excluded from hanging with you guys?”

“Because it’s girls’ night,” HaRa quips.

I couldn’t help but enjoy their little bickering. It was definitely cheering me up. I could see KiBum rolling his eyes at the girls as he squeezes himself in to our booth. I was now sandwiched between him and JooHyun.

“Just be happy that I came when I did because I almost caught her ditching you guys and going back inside her house.” He baited me out as he points to me.

I shot a glare at him before slapping his finger away from me. I could feel the eyes from the girls on me. I quickly turn to them and showcase my infamous eye-smile.

“But I didn’t, and I’m sitting right here with you guys,” I manage to sweet talk myself out of the situation.

And honestly, I’m happy I decided to meet up with my friends. I really needed this sense of normalcy again. It really wasn’t healthy of me to be depressed about something as insignificant as a harmless crush, a harmless puppy love.

The five of us sat there for a good hour just chatting and gossiping when we heard a familiar voice coming from the doorway of the café.

“And look at that, your boys are here KiBum.” JinAh’s sarcastic remark was sensed the moment we heard the boys walking through the door.

“Hm… I guess they finished their gaming.” KiBum stood up from our booth and quickly waved the boys over.

I glance over towards the group of boys walking over, I see WooHyun and his handsome smile greeting me, but it was quickly ruined by the sight of HoWon walking from behind. His stoic face and nonchalant expression caught my attention and I hate to admit that it did. I don’t know why I keep allowing his presence to affect me so much.

“How are you feeling Nicole?”

WooHyun’s question broke me away from my train of thought.

I turn to him with a smile, “better. Thank you.”

“That’s good to hear.” He replies with a smile.

His smile is definitely infectious because I caught myself smiling back for no reason.

“Dude, sit down, this booth is free.” KiBum interrupted as he pulls his boys in to the booth behind us.

“So much for girls’ night,” I could hear HaRa murmuring to JinAh.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her comment. I sat back down at my seat, which was now a lot more comfortable without KiBum sandwiching me against JooHyun.

With the boys at their own booth and us girls freely able to talk amongst ourselves, the real conversation can begin. And of course the topic of choice was me and my situation with WooRam oppa.

“So he has a girlfriend now?” JinAh begins.

I didn’t answer, my eyes staring intently at my drink as I nodded.

I could hear a unanimous sigh from all three girls.

“At least you know better now than to continuously obsess over him.” HaRa advised.

I let out a sigh. I knew it was true but I couldn’t help but still feel disappointment lingering inside me.

“It’s ok Cole-ah, you live and learn, that’s what life is all about.” JooHyun offers her words of wisdom.

I tilt my head towards her with a smile.

“Thank you,” I added.

“And you met the girl?” JinAh continues her query.

I nodded.

“Is she pretty? You think we can take her?” She continues.

I glance up at her with an amused smile. I couldn’t help but find it funny at what JinAh was trying to insinuate.

I took a deep sigh, “she’s very pretty. She’s a very sweet girl too. And yes, I do think you can take her, but that doesn’t mean you should or will.” I chuckle as I said the last sentence.

“Well, just let me when you want to, I’ll be ready.” JinAh respond with a smirk.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks Nana, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Aish! This girl,” HaRa chimes in, “always with the violence.”

JinAh turns to HaRa and cutely sticks out her tongue.

My mood was definitely lifting as I continued talking to my girls. I really did put myself through stupidity by keeping myself cooped up all week in my house. This was what I should have done right from the beginning to move on from this whole situation. People are right when they say that laughter is the best medicine.

“So how do you feel now when you see WooRam oppa?” JooHyun wondered.

I paused for a few seconds to think. “Well, I saw him before coming here. And honestly I felt like a total idiot. Not because of him but because of myself. I felt like an idiot for allowing myself to wallow in such stupidity. I realized that it wasn’t his fault that I felt like this, he was never mine to begin with nor did he ever made me think that he was. It was me who thought it on my own. I made it seem as if he was mine. I was completely naïve.”

“Look at you being all mature about this,” HaRa was quite surprise at my revelation, “who would’ve thought you would come to such a conclusion all on your own.”

I could sense a cinch of teasing in her comment but I appreciated it nonetheless. I smile at her.

“Well if you ask me I think you need to release your frustration, and who better to take it out on than the person involved. I say we sneak in to his house and to his bedroom and trash the place.” JinAh hilariously rationalizes.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her solution.

“There you go again with the violence and on top of that illegal activities as well.” HaRa rolls her eyes.

“Nana, your way of thinking will get you in to trouble of these days.” JooHyun cautions.

“What?” JinAh replies innocently, “it’s not like I’m ever gonna do any of it. I’m just saying. It’s not wrong to think of alternatives you know.”

I continue my laughter at our conversation. The girls laughed along as we continue.

As our conversation moved along I couldn’t help but notice HoWon sitting in the booth behind us. His seat paralleled mine and it was hard to miss each time he would look over at our booth, or at least I think he was looking over at us. Each time our eyes met, or at least I thought that it met, I would be the first to turn away. His stoic expression really puzzles me.

“HoWon!”

I hear a familiar voice.

Everyone turned their attention towards the voice and I could feel the girls’ gaze falling on me. I slowly glance up to see WooRam oppa standing by my booth.

“Oh, Nicole, you’re here too,” a smile on his face as he notices me sitting in the booth.

“O…oppa.” I stutter a bit.

"WooRam oppa, what are you doing here?” JooHyun asks nonchalantly.

“I was just in the area with my girlfriend and we decided to grab a drink.” He answers happily, that smile still on his face.

“Your girlfriend is here with you?” JinAh ask, her eyes slowly drifting over towards me.

I sat there in my seat, eyes glued to my drink.

“Oppa, I got you your drink.”

I hear a female voice coming towards us.

“Guys, this is my girlfriend BoRa.”

I glance up at the couple standing beside my booth. The smile on his face grew wider. I subtly glance around as I notice everyone bowing to greet her.

“Hi.”

I hear her voice sweetly greeting back.

I quickly shook off any negative or disappointing thoughts that could have been occupying my mind as I sat up straight and forced a smile on my face.

“I told you guys she was pretty.” I interrupted the introduction.

I could hear WooRam oppa chuckling approvingly at my comment.

"I was just telling them how much of a cute couple you guys are.” I added.

The moment I said that I could see WooRam oppa reaching for BoRa unnie’s hand, their fingers intertwined sweetly.

“We should get going before we miss the movie. We’ll see you guys later.” WooRam oppa bid his farewell.

“It was nice meeting you all,” BoRa unnie added, “it was nice seeing you again Nicole.” She smiles at me with a bow.

I bow in return as I smiled back at her.

I watch as they left the café. I slowly turn back around to see HoWon still sitting at his seat gazing at me. I took my gaze off of him as I sat back down.

“I can so take her.” I could hear JinAh scoffing.

Both of our groups stood in front of the café as we decided to call it a night. I guess the girls knew how I felt, especially after seeing WooRam oppa and his girlfriend. Though I tried not to let it affect me too much, but I knew it would be better for me to just go home and get some rest. Oh how easy it is to change one’s mood.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be ok going home by yourself?” JooHyun ask with concern.

I nodded with a smile.

“You sure you don’t want us to come over tonight?” JinAh offers.

“I’m sure. I think I just need some time to myself.” I continue my smile.

We bid our farewells and I found myself standing by the bus stop with HoWon standing only a few inches away from me. I glance over at him as he stood there staring up in the sky with his hands in his jean pockets. In moments like this I find myself finding him quite handsome, there’s such innocence to him the way he’s just standing there, aloof to his surroundings.

I quickly shook off the thought. I took my glance off him as I geared my attention towards the view in front of me, which was pretty much nothing but the traffic filled streets of Seoul.

The bus arrives. Somehow I had managed to get in the bus before he did even though he stood at the front of the line. I sat in the middle on a single seat. I could see him walking pass me as he made his way towards the back of the bus. I just took my attention towards the outside of the bus window.

The bus ride home felt uncomfortable for me for some odd reason. The whole ride felt as if someone was constantly staring at me. I thought it could have been HoWon, but each time I took a glance at him all I could see was him staring blankly outside his window.

We both coincidentally got off the bus at the same time. We stood side by side as the door closes behind us. I stood on his left side as his gaze was towards his right. I glance at him to see his hands in his front pockets. I turn myself towards the direction I needed to go.

I walk in to the convenient store at the bottom of the slope of our neighborhood, glancing to see if HoWon was anywhere close by but there was no sight of him. I spent a few minutes in the store, just grabbing a few snacks and quick groceries for the coming days. I walk out with two paper bag full of groceries, one in each arm.

I made my way up the slope as I heard footsteps from behind. I turn around to see HoWon making his way up the slope as well. I stood in my spot as I watch him walk up the slope, passing me. He was a few inches away from me before I began again. The bags of groceries were surely weighing me down. I halt when I saw his figure stopping. What happened next took me by complete surprise.

I see his figure turning around and walking back down the slope. He stops in front of me and grabs both of my groceries bag from me and turns back around and started up the slope again. I was completely dumbfounded at what had just happened. I quickly snap out of my daze and quickly rush up to catch up to him.

“I can handle them myself you know.” I sheepishly utter in a low whisper.

“Just open your gate when we get there,” was his reply.

We continue our walk up the slope in silence, side by side making our way towards my house.

I didn’t know what it was but I felt nervous, almost flustered walking beside him.

We stood in front of my gate as I unlock the gates.

“Thanks HoWon.”

As I reach for the bags he stood there looking at me. I could feel his gaze on me and I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks burning up.

“It’s heavy. I can take it in for you.”

I bravely met his gaze and quickly shook my head.

“It’s fine. I can do it. No need to trouble yourself.”

His eyes still on me but I couldn’t decipher what he was thinking or looking at. I made me more flustered than I would have liked.

“So is that why you were acting weird that night?”

His sudden question caught me off guard.

I stare at him with a puzzled expression, trying to register what he meant by the question.

“The night I came to apologize to you, the night you came home from meeting WooRam hyung.”

It finally registered. All I could do was bite my lips.

“You found out he had a girlfriend so you made yourself depressed?”

I was shock at his statement. Made myself? I did not make myself depressed. Did I?

“You allowed him to affect you that much?”

Ok, seriously, what is he trying to do here? Give me a lecture on life?

“Don’t put yourself through such misery for someone who’s not even worthy of it.”

What did he know anyway?

“Have some dignity, some pride in yourself.”

Seriously, why am I standing here listening to this, especially coming from him!

“Well, at least now you know the reality of the situation and can finally move on and not obsess over a fantasy that will not come true.”

Does he have to be so blunt about things? Seriously, who am I to you for you to be saying this to me?!

“Seriously Nicole, I don’t see what’s so great about WooRam hyung that makes you all giggly over him.”

What is up with this guy? It’s just one judgment after another.

“You’ll be better off with someone else.”

Is he giving me words of encouragement or just purely belittling me? I feel like it’s the latter.

I just stood there staring blankly at him as he spoke each of his judgmental sentences at me. I took a deep breath the moment I felt he was done.

“I don’t need your judgments on how I live my life.” I defended myself.

“I’m just trying to help you figure things out.”

“Please do me a favor and concentrate on your own life. I can deal with mine my own way.”

“But it doesn’t seem to be working is it?”

This guy just doesn’t know when to stop does he, “please HoWon,” I took a deep breath, “I don’t need any of this right now.”

I took the bags from his arms and quickly turn my direction towards my house.

“Thanks for your help HoWon.” I bow as I rush in to my house.

I nearly tripped as I was making my way up my porch steps.

I made my way in to the house as I place the bags in my kitchen. I quickly grab myself a cup of water as I chug it down. What was wrong with me?! I try to assess what I was feeling and all my conclusions that I came up with did not match or should I say, I didn’t want it to match. I try to shake off these weird feelings.

It was a bowl of mixed emotions. I felt annoyed and absolutely frustrated with him for saying all that he had said to me. At the same time I felt a bit flustered at his sudden act of kindness towards me with the grocery bags. This is so confusing!

I didn’t know if my anger and dislike for him outweighed the possibility of him changing the way I feel and think about him.

Lee HoWon, you’re seriously frustrating me!

A/N: And seven months later. I would like to appologize for the long and overdue update. Please know that I have not given up on any of my stories. It's just taking a longer time to update that's all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Remember this is just a simple story. Don't expect any exciting events to occur. Enjoy guys! Again, sorry for the overdue update.