Several petals looked on as my coffin lowered into the hole. There were all tearing, throwing carnations at my body.

I, Kim Heechul, disapprove.

No...I do not deserve mere carnations. If you're going to throw flowers at my grave, you'd better do it right. I scrunched my face up at the petals crying. Ugh, look at your tearstained faces. You all need to slap BB cream on your faces. Perhaps some eyeliner on those hideous, swollen eyes of yours? And look at your hair! Look at all those flyaways! Even I, Kim Heechul, cold and dead as a rock, still look more fabulous than you. 

 I nodded at the nearest petal who threw an entire bouquet of roses at my coffin, even though she couldn't see me. Now that is how you do it.

"Oh, Kim Heechul, why did you have to die? You must live so that the rest of the world can see you and think of how inadequate they are; this world is so much better with you."

I was sobbing slightly over myself when a walked right through my ghost. I opened my mouth to speak, speechless with anger. I raised my finger to make a point, but instead settled with moving it in circles. "Excuse me, girl. I, Kim Heechul, am your oppa. Who the hell are you to be walking through me?!" I tried speaking more, but the only things that started coming out of my mouth were, "TOODLE PIP, TOODLY PIP! PIP PIP DIDDLY DOO~"

The petals, now having left the funeral, were replaced by my band mates, Super Junior. Now that nobody was watching them, they wiped their fake tears away. Kyuhyun spat on my new mound of dirt.

"THAT'S FOR PUSHING ME DOWN THE STAIRS!"

Siwon threw a burning cross on my grave. 

"THIS IS FOR CALLING MY PHILTRUM LARGE, YOU SATANIC FIEND!"

I leaned back slightly, taken aback. "And to think I almost considered you all to be my brethren!" I scoffed, then flipped my gorgeous hair on all of them, swishing my hips back and forth as I made my fabulous exit.

Who needs 'em?

"Kim Heechul!"

Sungmin was leaning over me with his rabbit-face, worried. I gasped and coughed for a few seconds. Then I remembered the horrible dream, and realized that I was just in bed, sweating-

Wait, sweating?

Ah, screw it. 

"SUNGMIN!" I threw my arms around him and began sobbing. "IT WAS TERRIBLE, EVERYONE HATED ME- PEOPLE- ROSES-"

Sungmin patted my back rather awkwardly. "Wow, it must have been a really scary dream if you, Kim Heechul, are touching me. And sweating."

I pulled myself together and pushed him away roughly, hitting him once. "TELL. NO ONE. " I arched my eyebrows at him.

And then I went to the bathroom to take a shower, because, well, Kim Heechul can't be sweaty.