calling KPossible21

|| Wish Upon A Wishing Star || Review Shop ☆ {BUSY!HIRING CHAPTER 9 }

 

Paris: The City of My Heart
reviewer: vangbby

 

Title: [5/5]

The title is special—it reflects off of what your story is about, and I like it!

 

Poster:[5/5]

The poster is really nice—I love it!

 

Foreword & Description: [5/5]

Wow! Both were fantastically written—I really loved it! I have nothing else to say or complain about.

 

Characterization: [7/10]

The way this story portrayed your characters was absolutely wonderful—the connection the mains had was really there rather than you just writing it. The only complaint I would have is the side characters (i.e Hyun Ah and Sung Yeol) because I feel like they don’t have a really significant role in the story. You could probably write the story with having the two of them appear.

 

Originality: [5/5]

I love the originality in this story because if someone were to write a story about the mains having a kid, it would probably be one of those generic stories. Also, I love how this story mainly took place in Paris!

 

Plot: [10/15]

The plot of the story kind of confused me—I was thinking the story was going to be about how Myung Soo and Amber raise their kid but I was wrong. It was pretty much just how they met, how they fell in love and how they separated. My anticipated for the story drowned when I found out that you weren’t going to make the two meet at all—I felt misleaded.

 

Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation: [25/25]

No problem here!

 

Writing Style: [10/10]

I really love your writing style! It’s truly a style I envy.

 

Flow: [2/5]

Because I felt misleaded, the flow of the story was slow for me. The first few chapters I thought it was just going to be a recap about how Amber and Myung Soo met but I was wrong—it was still ongoing.

 

Enjoyment: [5/10]

I wish I could fully enjoy this but I didn’t. Yes, it is mainly because I was misleaded but the way you ended the story was not the best. I had to re-read the last couple of paragraphs to understand what was happening because I thought he met Amber and they had this reunion but no. I think you could have ended the story in a better way—a way that would have your readers gasping with anticipation for the (possible) sequel you have. I think when Myungsoo notices the little and smiles, he should have made eye contact with Amber and then he whispers her name, then the end! I think I would have been jumping in seat and surprised, though that would be a bit cliché, I think it would have been better.

 

With your ending, I just felt confused.

 

Bonus: [5/5]
I love the fact that you decided to add in some French words in the story—definitely a creative thing to do. Since French is one of the languages of romance and all.

 

Oh and one final thing—I’ve actually seen this fanfic floating around before and I’ve actually clicked on it. I thought it was pretty interesting.


Total: [84/100]

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Thank you!
adnamav
calling DeicystPi! Please come pick up your review on chapter 12 :)

Comments

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Pab0Panda
#1
Ah i forgot the password. It's dongbangshinki
<3
Pab0Panda
#2
Hi^^ I'd like to request but my web browser doesn't show the link for the form. May I just give u the info like this. Please tell me if something is missing?
Title: Love to be loved by you

Author:Pab0panda

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/254162

Completed, Uncompleted, One-Shot: Uncompleted

Genre: angst, fluff,

Reviewer: jaeholly

Rated: No

-Comment below-
Chapter 5 isn't a real chapter.
aintyoufunny
#3
Hi, sorry for the inconvenience... but can I cancel my request for "I Still Care"? Sorry, I just realized how annoying reviewing oneshots can be, so yeah... I'm super sorry for this! Thank you, though ^^
ThatOneOtherWriter
#4
so close to 100...SO CLOSE

_-_

thanks so much for the review~ (i knew the poster needed work, but i was kinda hoping you'd overlook it xD)

It will update soon enough. Right after I figure out what to do with the others and change the poster.
Thanks again :D
NEEDNOW
#5
thanks for the review lolz, didnt think I'd score so high considering it's only three chaps but new chap coming soon. Btw, the person who made the poster is myself xD I found it rather silly to credit myself so I didnt say anything keke. Thanks for the sub ^-^
AbsolutelyAwesome
#6
I requested. ^^
KimPossible21 #7
Hi sorry for the trouble, I would like to cancel my request xD
Thank you
slyferris
#8
I requested :)
ThatOneOtherWriter
#9
I have requested. Thanks much in advance ^^