“blablabla” = talking

blablabla = thinking

blablabla= Death people’s talking

Please enjoy

***

I was fine!

Really! I was fine!

Alright. Who I was trying to be kidding anyway? My name. Youngmin. Jo Youngmin. Hyung! I laughed a little when my little brother finally called my name again and again till he called me hyung. I stopped when he and my friends started crying. I felt nothing and just looked at him. My cute dongsaeng who looked so hurt. Then I looked at my lifeless body. Yes, I was dead. I was better be dead.

I smiled and walked away from them. I didn’t want to care about Jo Kwangmin who shookmy body desperately. He had Minwoo anyway. I smirked while walking in this freedom. I loved this way. Why I should be a life while my life doesn’t need me. His happiness wasn’t from me while all of my happiness from him.

I have enough, Kwanggie. But I love you. I really do. I’ve said although I kiss and do everthing my love is just for you, right? I mean it, Jo Kwangmin.

---

“I a-actually ever love you, Youngmin-hyung,” he cried alone on my room while holding my pillow.

So cute. I smiled and pecked his lips softly. He freaked out and looked around just to find nothing. No one.

I love you more and you know it, right?

I went away before my tears could roll down from my eyes.

---

He and Minwoo came to my grave. I smiled at them although they couldn’t see me. They were cute couple, right? Minwoo was nice person. They were supposed to be together while I was supposed to be kicked away.

“We are really sorry, Hyung,” Jo Kwangmin looked down while I gave him my blank face, “We have a good news,” he smiled beautifully, “I’ll be Appa soon!” he said with a lot of spirit while Minwoo blushed innocently.

I smiled at them. I’m happy for you...and I’m happy that I committed suicide. For you.

Minwoo started crying, “You promised to stay!!” then Kwangmin hugged him in no time.

Tear. Tears. I was crying too! Dammit! I hugged myself and tried to kick the numb away desperately but no use. I knelt down and cried harder.

Why didn’t you hug me when I cried in my room? Where were you?

“It’s alright, Minwoo. I won’t leave you.”

And you leave me.

---

Did I tell you my hobby now? I looked at the mirror where I could see another world. Kwangmin and I was couple there. He loved me. N-no, I meant, he loved his Youngmin. They even would get married soon. It’s so beautiful moment. Finally, I could see beautiful moments. Cute moments. Happy moments when that Kwangmin was pregnant because of his Youngmin.

“Dammit!! I told you to move on! I c-can’t believe you com-commi-“

I looked away from another mirror who showed me my old world.

Move on? Are you kidding me? I just can’t do that.

---

I freaked out when someone patted my shoulder from behind. I turned around just to find my Kwangmin smiled cutely at me. I hugged him tightly. Finally he came. He came here for me! He hugged me tightly like I would disappear if he didn’t. I pushed him on the white wall before started kissing him. Froze. He kissed me back! H-He kissed me back now! Slowly he wrapped his arms around my neck while still kissing me.

I love you, Younggie. He smiled beautifully.

I love you more, Kwanggie.Then I kissed him passionately.

Finally he’s MIN-

Kwangminnie?Youngminnie?Miwoo smiled at us.

The spell was gone. The dream was destroyed again.

Let’s be together. Kwangmin looked at Minwoo and me.

Minwoo looked down. I smiled in understanding.

I have to go, Kwangmin-ah. I pecked his lip.

W-what?! Wae? I just co-.He held my hand tight.

I’m sorry. I pushed him hard before running away. I knew. It was just too beautiful to be true.

I was all alone again.

---

I kicked a stupid kid who just pushed my cute twin till he got hurt. My 5 years old twin looked at me in disbelieve while my Umma slapped me in reflex. I knew It was just an incident but he hurt MY Kwangmin! I pouted before running away from this garden! I ran from them! I ran. Maybe I ran too much. Just how I did before God gave another life to me. And Kwangmin. Yes, I painfully still remembered my old-life.

I hid o-

“Younggie~,” he chuckled cutely before hiding on the bottom of my bed with me, “I find you~,” he pecked my lips innocently made me blushed.

“Y-yah! Don’t do that!” I incidentally yelled at him.

He looked scared before started crying made me wanted to slap myself, “I’m sorry, Young-younggie~”

I lost it. I simply lost it.

I pined him on the floor, “Don’t be,” I tried to kis-

“YOUNGMIN! KWANGMIN! Get out from your hiding-place! We have new friend for you!” My Umma shouted after going into my room.

Min-Minwoo?!!! My eyes became wide and I became all pale in no time. I hugged MY Kwangmin tightly, “It’s the time. Time for you to love me. Just me. Don’t leave me, Kwanggie. Promise?”

He nodded cutely, “Ne, Younggie! I promise!”

We walked toward them while still holding hard.

Minwoo giggled cutely, “I’m No Minwoo.”

Numb.

“I’m Jo Kwangmin!!” My beloved twin ran to him and hugged him tightly, “So cute~”

My hand felt cold. All I felt is numb.

He leaves me again. And I will be all alone again.   

---

natesea: *bows* thank you