The wind is rustling with the leaves; flying in an unknown patterns and the soft sobs of a woman filled the four imaginary corners and the thin cloud of air in the rooftop. Sun is about to set. She was standing with her back leaning on the iron rail, her right hand covering , crying hurtfully.

Eunmi's POV

I shouldn't have loved him, I shouldn't have believed he feels the same way too. I should have known from the very start that he's only lying to me.

Lee Sungmin, again, you did it again. Why do you have to be like this. Why?

'I don't want to date you anymore, you're too bland. Boring, you're boring.'

But it's my fault. Why. But it's my fau-- Why couldn't I do anything but to blame myself? I don't know what I'm feeling now, so much emotions - mixed emotions I cannot identify.

This is a mess. 

"Hey. Why is my princess crying?"

A voice of a guy intruded the silence reigning all over the place. Someone saw me. From the tone of his voice, I already know who it was. It was  my older brother, Donghae.

"Why are you here..." Quick, wipe your tears, wipe. I was about to ask another question but I got late, he had already wrap his arms around me, hugging me loosely from behind.

"Shh, don't cry. Omma and Appa would feel sad if they see you crying like that." he said to me like he knows everything, like he knows where to start, how to understand and how to fix everything. I sobbed, he cupped my face and gently wiped away my tears.

He's always beside me, Donghae, my older brother and the only family I have now, since my parents died when I was still a child. They died in a car accident that day they decided to pick up us at school. We were in middle school that time, innocent beings without any idea how to live life properly, unprepared, weak and fragile as they left us. We have an uncle who took custody of us for years, but he got sick that time and was sent abroad cure his disease. But he never came back. We just got the news he didn't make it. We're left alone.

We're living with our new parents now, who adopted us, providing us food, shelter, clothes and education. A mother and father who embrace us with pure love and care. We are really lucky to have them, I always tell myself.

My brother. He protects me from any possible danger. He makes me smile. He always want to know everything. Like how do I feel, what do I want, what am I thinking, what, why and and other stuffs that he could feel concerns for. But. I'm too shy to tell him my miseries. I can't tell him Sungmin played with my feelings again, for the third, fourth, fifth... I don't know anymore. I'm such an easy and weak woman. Sigh. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I change? He always play with my feelings yet I still give my all and love him in all honest and sincerity. I cannot tell my brother that Sungmin hurt me again. No. I can't. I don't want him to beat Sungmin, and I don't want any trouble now. No more, please. Just, it's too much now. I'm tired.

Why am I like this. Why am I letting 'love' ruin my life? I'm still young, I know I can do a lot more, I can meet better people... But why am I like this? Why am I so stupid? God, help me.

Please

Minutes. Half a decade of minutes, she stood there while Donghae is holding her hands after he pulled away from the hug, caressing the back of her hands, trying to comfort and calm his sister.

His hold, her brother's hold feels so warm. It feels like home, she thought.

Donghae's POV

I know she was here.

Crying. Hurt. Broken. Almost everytime she is like this.

It hurts me seeing her like this. I know it, Sungmin did something again, and I can't take it anymore. I never wanted to see her like this. Those tired and swollen eyes, her face that used to be blooming fresh and happy is now pale and lifeless - depressed...and the sweet voice I love - dry, coarse and weak now. All I can see is a sad and gloomy Eunmi.

Eunmi, why are you being like this? Why are you letting yourself suffer in a kind of pain like this? Do you know that it pains me more, thinking my love is suffering and hurting, and most of all, I can't do anything about it. She won't let me do something, she loves Sungmin so much. I can't do anything but to be right beside her and just be a comforting guy, show care and wipe her tears as a brother.

Sometimes, I want to scold her, say hurtful things that may wake her up from this insane love of her for Sungmin. I want her to forget, leave and move on. I want to hit Sungmin, I want to hurt him to make him pay for what he did to my sister, for such numerous times. Eunmi is my sister. Anyone that will hurt her, I must take responsibility...because she is my sister. My sister, Eunmi. The most important person for me..

And the most precious yet painful thing I have right now.

Crying. Hurt. Broken. She is. My love. 

I remember the day I realized my feelings for her, the day I regretted being his brother, the day that my heart fell and my world stopped. The realization of love. An illegitimate love, an affection more than brothers and sisters should have. The day I made my own torture to my own heart.

I want to love her. I want to take care of her and make her happy. I want to do these things not as her brother but as the man she will see and love in the same way. A love that will tie us together not as siblings, but as real lovers. But life is too unfair. I guess, all of those things can only happen in my dreams. Things that are impossible to happen, that I will forever carry with such fathom and pain.

Everthing is not right. I know. I love her. No, I told myself once, twice, thrice - a hundred times,  I already told myself that I shouldn't - that it is wrong to love someone like her.  The blood that flows in our veins are completely the same - we came from the same womb - we are made by the same cells - we are siblings.

But still, I want to take a chance. I'm taking the risk. It's now or never. I want to tell and show her what I really feel.

Take the risk of loving her even  the same feelings wouldn't return. I just want to let this thing go out from my chest. I want to breathe without all of these heavy feelings tearing me apart everyday - almost two decades of my life, I'm hiding, suffering, enduring. I want to know why, what and how. I want an answer, a solution.

I hope our parents will understand. I'm sorry. I know they're happy in heaven right now. I hope they will understand.

As I was holding her hand , I can feel her tensing up. I can see her tears flowing down to her cheeks.

--

"I told you don't cry. Oppa is here."  The twenty-two year old guy said in a concerned tone. He caressed her head, hoping it would help to ease the pain. But then, she even cried harder and louder, she can't stop thinking about what just happened to her.

Donghae wiped her tears and rubbed her back to calm her down..

"Shh..." He whispered to her right ear, embraced her close, enveloping her in a gentle hug.

Eunmi looked at him in the eyes. "Oppa, I'm sorry." She tried to lower her voice and stop herself from crying. She felt embarrassed at the thought she's crying again in front of her older brother. She thinks she's being really weak, dependent and fragile. Donghae had been always a shoulder to cry on. And she feel really bad about it. She never wanted something like this, even if it will make their 'sibling relationship' stronger, she never wanted this. She do not like Donghae worrying about her in this kind of way, especially at times like this that she's broken  just because of a guy. That's why whenever she's in such a situation, she would always go far and hide just to cry and let all of her hatreds out, not letting anyone see, she would be just all by herself. But Donghae is a wise guy, he knows every place Eunmi could go to. That's why his sister never did succeed on hiding from him. He will always find her, he will always come and talk to her. Eunmi tried to avoid him; because it was too embarrassing for a relative to see your weak side, especially if the situation is emotionally depressing -  pain brought by love that she always fail to shun and hide. Donghae always found her.

Everything's alright now. Believe Eunmi. Believe.

"It's okay." Donghae said, leaned close to her face and  gave her a peck in the lips. Eunmi was very surprised. She stood there - frozen - doesn't know what to do. Her swollen eyes couldn't get any wider, so she stood there with just a plain shocked expression. Donghae just smiled.

"Felt better?" He asked while her hair in a gentle way. Eunmi turned beetish red, cheeks streaming with the color - blushing in her sweetest way. She looked at her hands then at him again. She want to say something, ask why did he do such a thing but her lips won't move. She was surprised.

Surprised that he kissed her and suprised that her heart is beating in a phase double the speed of a normal one.

What's this...

Dugeun. Dugeun. Her heart won't stop beating. It's like in a race in a wide maze. Fast. Nervous. Unusual.

She never felt this feeling with Sungmin, not in any other guy, only her brother, Donghae. It was a mixture of trepidation and guilt, and so much more negative reaction within.

What. Why. W-what is this...

Because of her lack of response, Donghae held her waist and pressed his lips again to Eunmi's lips.

Eunmi's mind was fakely functioning. Her nerves turned hypocrite. She was commanding pull away, move, stop him. Words are running around her mind, but it was absently running - it was floating - her mind is in the kiss. Her surprised eyes and brows went calm as Donghae moved his lips - slow, soft, and sweet. Her shoulders shrugged down, her weight went down. Her eyes closed without her consent, unknowingly, she kissed back.

Confused but she gave in. Donghae's lips, she never thought her brother has the softest and warmest lips she had ever met. It was amazing, she thought. It was something different. It was better. The best, would suit the term perfectly.

Donghae was aware that Eunmi's slowly accepting the pacific savoring of their lips. He, too, was arguing in his mind, but he was so into he kiss that he chose to ignore it and forget that they are siblings - brothers and sisters that has the same DNA - sinful children of same parents.

He pulled away after a few slow head tilting from left to right, slow nibbling and . He needed to stop as the kiss was going to turn into a heated one, he do not want to go this far.

He kissed her, and she kissed him back. Donghae couldn't explain, he was so happy he wanted to breathe in a heavy manner and then smile and laugh like he won the lottery. But the reaction comes with the opposite, it was painful and wrecking as well.

They are siblings. The truth can never be erased. They share the same house, family, blood, everything.

Eunmi gasped inaudibly. She cannot believe what just happened. She felt like crying when he pulled away and as the realization struck her mind.

Donghae is my brother.

"Oppa. Wh-what  w-- " before she could finish her words, Donghae already pulled her in a hug, squeezing her tight like he know she would run away in any second at the moment. Donghae knows, he was aware but he do not want to let go. Never. 

Donghae...

She wanted to close her eyes and feel the warmth of his body engaging her whole, weak, broken being. But again, the thought that Donghae was her brother will never leave her mind at peace. This is so sinful, she thought. Half of her mind is not functioning, while the other is telling her that what's happening is wrong, that it's immoral and they should stop and forget about the whole thing. She do not want her sibling relationship with Donghae shatter into pieces - break and be strangers forever.

"I love you Eunmi. I do. I love you since that day you stucked a lollipop in my mouth..." he said with a positive tone in the end.

"That day when you were crying because you were so mad at me, because I won't lend you my rubix cube... You looked so cute back there. You were so pissed off that when I asked you to pour water in my cup, you glared at me and pulled out the lollipop you're , you stucked it in my mouth in a jiffy. You wanted to choke me, don't you?  I know you're annoyed that time, but you look so cute and... lovely. I don't know, I know it's not that 'struck moment' but my heart was racing insane that day. I know. I felt different, I know. Afterwards, I saw you sleeping in the couch in your sleeping dress. That's when my feelings developed. And until now that every night, I'm seeing you sleeping peacefully, I feel like my love - this love I have is getting worse beyond my knowledge. I love you Eunmi. I didn't mean to love you like this. I wanted to stop, but I just can't..."

He hugged her even tight and let the side of their faces flatten against each other. Her cheek is warm, he thought.

Donghae is speaking his heart out

Eunmi doesn't know what to say. 

"Whenever I see you crying because someone hurt you, I am hurting too. I know I'm not that obvious but I do care about you, a lot. Eunmi... We're siblings and I hate the thought that we have the same blood flowing in our veins. I love you and I hate it that I can't love you in a normal way, like how a man should love a woman... I want to hold you like a man you could love, not as a brother. I want to hug you, kiss you, love you. " his tone turned a bit sensual, romantic and subtle.

Eunmi doesn't know what to say, her mind is clouded with thousands of thoughts. Unaware, tears started to stream down her cheeks. She was crying silently in Donghae's hold. She was crying not because of Sungmin anymore, but because of this sudden situation and the fact that she realized she feels the same as well.

"Claim my confession, Eunmi."

Donghae noticed Eunmi was tearing up, of course, he felt the warm tear of his sister ran on his cheek. He was ready for this, so what he did is held her still then pulled away a little to meet her eyes. He gazed at her as gentle as he can. He wiped off the tears on her face with his thumb and kissed her below the right eye. He hushed lowly and planted soft pecks around the upper half of her face. Eunmi did not protest. She closed her eyes and stopped crying, instead she let him and think that there's nothing wrong - that they could be - not siblings - in a world just for the two of them.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

Eunmi slowly smiled and hugged him gently.

It's okay oppa. This is not wrong. It was never wrong...

Donghae was a bit surprised on her response, but somehow, he felt happy that he can finally breathe in relief. Guilt - he set aside all the negative thoughts away and join Eunmi in this world - where there is no legitimate or illegitimate, legal or illegal, immoral or not.

"I love you." he whispered again and kissed her for the third time.

 

-----

'How... what if our parents find out.. How...'

"You done with your homeworks?" he adjusted his glasses and sat on the bedside near his studying sister, peeked on the book she was reading and then hugged her from behind. Eunmi stayed silent, attention still on the article.

"Hey..." Donghae scooted closer and slid his head down to her lap from the space between her arm and her side. He rested his head comfortably on the book on her lap and meet her gaze, a smile formed both of his lips and eyes.

Eunmi pouted and covered his brother's eyes. He was seeking for attention, and it's one of her nervous moments. Everytime he would get close, land his hands on her, hold her intimately, she can feel hundred of butterflies in her stomach, weird feelings gushing inside her body and her heart would go insane. Love, an irrevocable feeling within humans. Love - between her and Donghae - extremely sinful that no one in this house could ever accept but just the two of them.

Donghae chuckled and removed her hand, he set his eyes on her and caressed her left cheek with his thumb with a small yet meaningful smile plastered on his face. Eunmi smiled back. "I love you." he said then smudged her face gently. He chuckled. It was cute, adorable and funny to in such ways. Eunmi frowned and instantly took Donghae's hand off her face. "Yah." she whined then smudged Donghae's face with her palm as well. Their chuckling filled the four corners of Eunmi's room. Happy - the description of the Lee siblings.

'I love you too.'

It's been a month since the confession of Donghae took place and served way to this forbidden love. Still siblings, yes, in front of the people's eyes, they are obviously siblings. But within theirselves - Donghae and Eunmi - lovers in risk, they share a love more than siblings could have, a romance between a man and a woman, a love that has passion, possession and intimacy. Within these thirty-one days of being not-siblings-but-lovers, the two found true happiness. Not an infatuation or an under spell situation, Donghae and Eunmi knows they are truly in love with each other.

At first, Eunmi couldn't adjust with the sudden intent and romantic treatment of Donghae when she gave in, because she was confused and unsure about the whole thing. Three to seven days, awkwardness was all over her. Donghae, being the older one, helped her sister be and settle herself to comfort. The nineteen year old lady would always avoid, distance and think deeply. Bu he never gave up, knowing that he has the right - since she accepted his love, he can do anything that he could do to Eunmi. The chase didn't last longer. Love brought her to this stage, as days passed by, she learned and even realized that she loves Donghae, and that no one could love her as much as Donghae does.

Weekdays, the two would always go to school hand-in-hand, then hide it if there's someone recognizable would pass by. They were taking risks from time to time, but Donghae, being a real careful person, always find ways to save theirselves - that's why the two were never been caught. Sometimes, Donghae would invite Eunmi to the library when there are no people around, they would sneak in and make out behind the shelves. Playful, they came to that point as well, but of course, Donghae knows his limitations. He treats her more than a precious flower, he holds her like the most fragile glass in the whole universe, he loves her just like how a man should love a woman.

Without sickening worries, they made moments with each other that would last forever. Out of trepidation and fear, they flew in the sky of freedom. With love in their hearts, they believed that they could be together.

"How long do you think we'll stay?"

"Forever."

'Why do we have to be siblings. I could have just been a classmate, or anything, except for a sister...'

'I wish I was not your brother, I could propose marriage to you right now if..."

Siblings. A man and a woman in a forbidden love. . Painful, a strife it is if the secret spilled - they don't care for now - love is reigning over them.

In love. Loving and making love.

And their guardians don't have any idea about it.

Until when?