YOUR POV

Was I dreaming? Did I really hear him say he liked me too? I need to see for myself. But I can't bring myself to look behind and see if he's really there. I tried my best and slowly looked behind. My heart was beating fast. I can't help but smile. But when I looked behind, there was no one.

So I was dreaming, after all. Daydreaming, in that case.



But when I looked behind me, I saw another basket. I checked to see if it was the basket we brought before but it wasn't. I opened it and I was pleased to see some sandwich and berries. But wait, how did this get here? Could it be...

"Mmmm," I finally heard him clear his throat. "Sorry if I kept you waiting. I had to heed the call of nature."

"Did you come here first before you went to do your business?" I asked.

"W-what?" he asked.

"This basket."

"Oh. Yeah, I was here. I mean I did. I mean yes," he said.

"I must be busy daydreaming that I didn't notice." Of course it can't be. What was I thinking? I was going to get a sandwich and eat when I realized he was still standing looking nowhere. "What, you're just going to stand there or are we gonna start silencing my grumbling stomach and eat?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

He's strange. "Are you okay?"

"O-Of course, of course I am.. of course.."

"Peniel, what's wrong. Don't you dare look away. Look at me and tell me what's bothering you." There's definitely something going on now.

"No, I'm fine, really," he said, looking away.

"What the hell is going on, Peniel Shin? I'm not joking."

"_____________?"

"Yes? Please Donggeun, cut the chase," I said

"I.. I think.. I.."

"God, Donggeun! Just say it!"

"I.. I can't do this. I'm really sorry," he said and ran away from me.

As much as I wanted to run after him, or at least call him, I couldn't bring myself to. I was too shocked with what just happened. I can't even say I'm hurt. I had no ide with what just happened. "Donggeun.."







PENIEL'S POV

I was going to scare her when I heard her say something. Something I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Because I really really like him. I really do."

"I do, too."

Wait. Did I just say that? No, this can't be. I can't. Before I knew it, I was already on my feet, running for the nearest place I could hide in.

I clutched my chest as I tried to catch my breath. What the hell was I thinking? That was certainly what I've been avoiding all these years. Facing my feelings. More so, telling it to her. But I couldn't help but soften up and crumble upon hearing those words again. And I can't even say I like Coke anymore. I took a deep breath and started walking back towards her.

"Mmmm," I cleared my throat. "Sorry if I kept you waiting. I had to heed the call of nature."

"Did you come here first before you went to do your business?" she asked.

"W-what?" I asked. Did she actually..

"This basket," she pointed.

Oh no. "Oh. Yeah, I was here. I mean I did. I mean yes." What should I say?

"I must be busy daydreaming that I didn't notice," I heard her say weakly.

Somehow, I felt guilty. But things were better left this way.. Right?

"What, you're just going to stand there or are we gonna start silencing my grumbling stomach and eat?" I heard her ask impatiently.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"O-Of course, of course I am.. of course.." I told her. At the same time, I was convincing myself that I was okay.

"Peniel, what's wrong. Don't you dare look away. Look at me and tell me what's bothering you."

"No, I'm fine, really," I said, still not looking at her.

"What the hell is going on, Peniel Shin? I'm not joking," she said in a serious tone.

"_____________?" I didn't even know what I was doing now.

"Yes? Please Donggeun, cut the chase," she said, obviously confused of what's happening.

"I.. I think.. I.."

"God, Donggeun! Just say it!"

"I.. I can't do this. I'm really sorry," I said as I ran away from her.




When I was a child, I saw this video clip of a man playing his guitar and I realized that it was definitely what I wanted to be. I practiced everyday with my guitar with just that goal in mind. And I know that I could most likely reach that dream in my own hometown, Seoul. I just had to wait for the right opportunity.

But when I heard her tell me how she actually felt, in an instant, I figured out I'd been having an unrealized dream. That the person whom I thought was always there for me to reach that dream wasn't just that. She was one of my dreams.

But the time came that I couldn't have both and I definitely had to set my priorities. As much as I didn't want to, I had to let her go. But just when I thought I was all set and ready, I had to hear her words again and made me waver for a moment. So I had to leave before I messed everything up.

Yes, I could just tell her I like her. I could ask her to wait for me and just endure a long-distance relationship. But it would be too selfish of me. And the thought that maybe we just liked each other because we were always together. If we tried seeing the world without each other, we might be abe to get over whatever it was we were feeling now.

I scoffed. Who am I kidding? It may be possible for her. But not for me. Definitely not for me.



....................................................................................................................................


I don't remember how many times I've created and deleted text messages that I was supposed to send her. But I can't. I don't even know if I could say anything that would make her feel better. With what I've just done? I deserve to be stoned.

I was starting to put my things to order and pack my things. I pair of jeans caught my eyes. This was what I was supposed to wear tomorrow. I took something inside its pocket. They were the movie tickets I bought for tomorrow. And now, I don't think I'll be able to use it anymore.

It was already 2 in the morning yet I can't bring myself to sleep. I tried playing the guitar but I wasn't even in the mood to strum its strings. I just decided to plug in my earphones, praying to just drift away. Luckily, I did.



When I woke up, I went downstairs and got something to drink.

"I thought you had plans for today?" Mom asked.

"They got cancelled," I said as I poured water on my glass.

"Why? Did something happen?"

I just looked at Mom and she definitely understood what it meant.

"Then why don't we just pay your Aunt a visit? Before you leave for Korea?" Mom suggested.

"Oh sure. I'll just take a bath," I said and went upstairs.

It didn't take me a long time since I just had my usual blue jeans and grab a piece from the pile of v-necks I had on my closet. Of course, I didn't forget my sunglasses.

"How did you grow up to be so handsome?" Mom said as we walked to the car.

"You're really my Mom," I chuckled as we rode the car and drove to my Aunt's house.



YOUR POV

I was fighting with myself whether I should call him already or not. After all, this was his last day. But I'm afraid he won't pick up. That he needed time alone. Maybe he'll call me when he's ready. I'll just have to wait.

But I kept on waiting and waiting. To no avail. I realized I had to do things myself. I changed my clothes immediately.

"Dad, can I borrow the car?"

"Why? What happened to Peniel's car? Okay, okay. You know where the keys are," he said.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll come back alive," I said.

"You better," he chuckled.

I took a deep breath before I went down of the car and walked towards their door and knock.

"Mrs. Shin?" I called while I knocked. "Mrs. Shin, it's me, ___________. Mrs. Shi- Oh. Hello. Is Donggeun around?"

"I'm sorry but they're not here. They paid Mrs. Shin's sister a visit," their helper replied.

"Oh. Will they be back soon?" I asked.

"They didn't mention anything but I don't think so," she replied.

I felt extremely disappointed. Not with anybody but with the current situation. He was going to leave for good but here we were, not talking to each other. "Thank you," I said as I slowly turned back and walked back to the car.

"Perhaps you can leave a message?" the helper called back.

I stopped in my tracks. Perhaps I could.






PENIEL'S POV

It was almost midnight when we arrived home and strangely, I felt tired. "Mom, I'm going to sleep now," I said as I walked to my room.

"Okay, rest well. Don't forget to set your alarm. We don't want to miss your flight," she reminded.

"Mmm. Good night, Mom."

"Good night."

I was too tired that I didn't have the strength to wash up anymore. I just changed my clothes and immediately went to bed.


....................................................................................................................................


I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I turned it off immediately and prepared for today. This was the day I'm going to leave Chicago and finally reach for my dreams.

"Donggeun, tell me when you're ready," Dad said.

"I'm almost done," I shouted. I took a final glance of my room and finally went down, carrying my bags with me.

"Don't skip meals, okay? And remember to wash up every night. And just remember to call us if anything crops up. And-"

"Mom, I'm a big boy now," I smiled.

"No, you're not. You're just 16!" Mom said, now crying.

"I'm 17 in Korea," I chuckled.

"But still..." she sobbed.

"Mom, Grandma would take good care of me. You know that, right? I'll try to call you every night. Alright?" I reassured her.

She nodded as I wiped her tears.

"We're here," Dad said as we finally arrived at the airport.

As we went nearer to the departure area, Mom's tears started to flow freely. "Mom," I tried comforting her and hugged her. "Mom, can I ask for a last favor?" I asked.

"Anything," she said as she wiped her tears and steady her breathing.

"Take care.. of her," I said. And immediately at that moment, my flight was announced. "Promise me, Mom."

"I will," she smiled.

"I'll go now," I smiled and walked to the departure area.

"Donggeun!" I heard her call.

"What is it, Mom?" I answered as I faced her again.

She walked towards me and handed me a piece of paper. "Someone wanted to give you this."

"Who?" I asked, confused.

"I don't know," she said.

I was going to see who it was when the final call for my flight was announced.

"You can just read in the plane. Go now," she said.

I just nodded and almost ran.

I sat back and breathed in relief when I found my plane seat. I closed my eyes as the thoughts I've been avoiding started to flood my mind. Am I doing the right thing? Am I not going to regret anything? Will I not regret leaving her? But this was all for the best. I guess I should stop being greedy and learn to realize that not all my dreams could come true.

I sighed as I opened my eyes. I was going to get my iPod in my bag when the piece of paper caught my eye. The plane started to move and I plugged the earphones in my ears before I opened the piece of paper.

This..