That night will be forever ingrained into my memory. The way her lips curl upward when she smiles. How her laughter is like smooth symphony of sirens waiting to be discovered. How her hair effortlessly falls perfectly into place. The way she cutely sips her coffee when she intently listens (or I would like to think, keke) to me talk nonsense.  That night, Kwon Yuri successfully captured this little heart of mine.

I couldn’t get enough of her. I thought it was bad before… but that night she became my everything. She was the oxygen I needed to survive. I called her out any chance I got my hands on. I undeniably need her. Whether I like it or not, I probably won’t be able to carry on normally without her.

The more I got to know her, the deeper I fell in love with her. Her beauty started as a simple flash of light that caught my eye, but now it had become a beacon of light flooding from a light house. I only had eyes for her. It was Kwon Yuri all the time. Every time I closed my eyes, it was like a nonstop cinema of Yuri.  It’s only a matter of time before I go crazy, completely consumed by her. I need to tell her how I feel before these unsaid feelings begin to eat away at my soul.

Ring ring ring

I waited silently for her to pick up. Come on Yuri, please pick up. I need to see you…

“Yoboseyo?” I heard her angelic voice across the line. I smiled unconsciously to myself.

“Ah, Yuri-ah?” I said, pausing for a bit before continuing. “Are you free?”

“Mmm, de. What’s up oppa?” she asked innocently. I could imagine her playing with her cutely, the curls of her hair placed perfectly on her shoulders.

“I was just wondering... uh... well, I just wanted to see you is all… Umm... so would it be possible for  you  to meet me at Halmoni’s café in an hour? Um...I’m sorry for rambling Yuri... hehe” I asked nervously, crossing my fingers in hopes of a ‘yes’.

“Araseo oppa, I’ll see you soon!” She said cutely.

“Ara, I’ll hang up first.” I said before ending the call. Whew, now I have an hour to prepare myself.  I had a plan to spell out  “권유리좋아요 (Kwon Yuri Joh-Ayo)” in heart-shaped cookies. I know it’s (kind of ) cheesy, but it’s straight to the point, and most importantly, it’s edible. You know when they say the stomach is the way to a man’s heart… in my opinion it rings truer for a woman’s heart. There is no surer way than food to a woman’s heart... besides expensive bags and jewelry, but that’s a story for another day.  But that’s besides the point. I love a woman with an appetite, cause I want a girl who can eat with a big boy like me, kekeke.

What am I doing worrying about what kind of woman I want at a time like this. Aish! You want Kwon Yuri to be your woman... and if you keep lolly gagging it’s not going to happen you, babo. Hold up, I gotta think positive thoughts. Alright Kim ________, just breathe and let it happen naturally. Hopefully everything turns out well… if not you guys can still be friends, I’m sure. ________ HWAITING! HIMNAE!!! Remain calm my man... everything will be fine, right?

I got to halmoni’s place and hid the flowers carefully. My mind replayed the “game plan” in my head over and over. I could feel my palms of my hands sweat and quiver with overwhelming nervousness. I rashly wiped my clammy hands on pants. My thoughts were on hyperdrive.

I sat myself down and attempted to do breathing exercises to calm myself. My inability to do said breathing exercises calmly and completely only made me more nervous and exasperated out of my wits. Sitting still was not an option. I was so jittery that I probably looked like I was going to withdraw, which obviously meant sitting still successfully was out of the question. I needed to do something to keep myself busy, and quick. I looked at the table and resorted to calculate how much it would cost if we got everything on the menu to keep myself busy. My fingers traced each character of the menu, slowly reading the words in my head.

I looked up suddenly and caught a glimpse of her through the window. I heard the bell above the door ding as she walked in. My body froze a little, and my heart involuntarily skipped a beat. I got up clumsily tripping over nothing and waved to her awkwardly. She smiled at me. Dear Lord, she is so beautiful. I am seriously the luckiest man alive!

“Oppa Annyeong!” She greeted me brightly. I gave her my lopsided grin. Words were swimming through my head, but no words were coming out. I don’t think articulating a sentence has ever been so hard. I felt like my conscious was drowning in the thoughts that filled my septic tank of a brain. After what seemed like an hour of silence between us, I finally spoke up.

“Ah, Yuri-ah annyeong. Heh.” I managed to say, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. I felt my ears and cheeks heating up. I cleared my throat, extending the air of awkwardness that surround us... “Let’s sit down, I guess..”

I passed her menu, our fingertips touched for a brief moment. And within seconds, my heart racing even faster than before, as the electricity from my hand surged through my body. Dear Lord, what are you doing to me Kwon Yuri?!

“Oppa, let’s just get the usual, arachi?” She asked cutely as she passed me her menu. I nodded dumbly before calling Mijoon hyung over to order.

“Uh, hyung can we just get our usual?” I asked nicely, hyung nodded and went into the kitchen to tell halmoni.

“So oppa, what did you want to talk about?” She asked innocently, catching me off guard. I didn’t think she would jump the gun on me so suddenly. I casually chuckled n an attempt to distract her from the topic. But it was useless, she kept staring me down. “Oppa, what is it? It sounded like you had something serious to get off your chest.... oppa is everything okay?”

Those puppy eyes, that were filled with concern tugged at my heartstrings. Gahh why is she so adorable... I guess it’s now or never...uhhhhhhhh....

“Hang on, I’ll be right back... stay here. Uh, don’t go anywhere please....” I said quickly, before getting up and rushing off in the opposite direction of the Kwon Yuri. Oh Jesus, Kim ________ just breathe... Calm the hell down before you get back in there.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotionally overwhelmed. And it’s all thanks to Kwon Yuri. Everything around me was spinning, the building, my thoughts, my feelings, my stomach. My heart had already kicked it into hyperdrive the moment I saw her. The girl I’m madly, deeply in love with. The one person that never seems to leave my thoughts, but is never placed on the back burner of my thoughts. She is the star of my thoughts. She’s the president of my heart... She’s my everything, and whatever happens next isn’t going to change that...right?

I grabbed the basket of cookies that were individually wrapped in cellophane wrappers and tediously arranged. I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror, and let out a sigh of relief. Whew, at least I look decent. I firmly grasped the flowers in my left hand, hiding them behind my back and the basket in my right. I quietly marched back to Yuri, mentally giving myself a pep talk.

I held my breath when I arrived at the table. Yuri looked at me curiously staring at the cookies that were gently laying in a bed of red and pink fake grass, the kind you get around Easter time.

“Kwon Yuri,”  I started quietly, speaking slowly and deliberately to stop my voice from shaking. “You are the most amazing person in my life. You’re gorgeous, kind, gentle, caring, talented, adorable and so many other things. Everything you do has me in awe, and I’m always thinking about you... you make my heart skip a beat, my stomach does flips when you’re around. I can’t see my life without you... I like you... well actually, I love you. I know it’s strange to hear this...but Kwon Yuri, Saranghae!”

I watched her face, searching for any emotions at all. I placed the basket of cookies on the table and gave her the bouquet of roses.

“O-oppa... I don’t know what to say,” she said, her face still blank. I stared at her, my heart dropping. At least things could have been worse... it looks like she’s taking my sudden and rambled confession well.

“You don’t have to say anything Yuri... who was I kidding,” I scoffed to myself, cutting her off. God I’m such an idiot... “I get it. What kind of babo would like me back... I’m awkward, weird, lazy. I don’t think as much as I should. Plus there are other guys that are ten, no twenty times better than me out there... I’m sorry... for being so hopeful...  I hope this incident doesn’t change things between us... I would really hate if we couldn’t be friends after this...”

“Oppa, I’m sorry... but I don’t think remaining friends after this is possible...” She said quietly... I stared at her shocked, my eyes wide with absolute shock and fear. I felt my heart shatter. With Kwon Yuri, everything is a first, and I this is the first time I’ve felt such an unbearable pain in my chest...

“I-i … uh” I tried to speak, but I was speechless. I wanted to cry and fall to my knees... My knees were threatening to buckle and my heart felt like I had been stabbed by an invisible knife that dug deeper into my heart with every painful second that passed. A silence fell between us...

Then all of sudden my body was enveloped by a pair of warm arms. It was Yuri. What is she doing to me, she just rejected me... and now she’s hugging me... I don’t need her pity... All the bad thoughts were vanished when I inhaled her intoxicating scent. I fought off the urge to wrap my arms around her. My arms were reluctantly remained limp at my sides.

“Oppa, you don’t understand..” she whispered to my quietly, her voice wavering at the end of her sentence...

“Yes I do Yuri... You don’t have to do-” I started talking, trying to escape her hug.. but she held me tight.

“Andwae! Shut up and listen to me oppa...please” she pleaded desperately with me... I indignantly nodded my head into her shoulder. “Okay... first of all, this is all a big shock for me... but I’m flattered oppa, I really am. I’m sorry if you misunderstood my words.... but ilikeyoutoooppa...”

I couldn’t hear the last part of her sentence. I pulled back from the hug and looked at her.

“What did you just say Yuri?” I asked her as if my life depended on it.

“I said, I like you too oppa. Are you happy now?” She told me quietly. I searched her eyes for any hint of guilt. Were her words true? Is she just pitying me? I thought she didn’t want to be friends. My thoughts distracted me from the current situation, and the next thing Yuri caught me off guard.

She took a firm fistful of my shirt collar while I was distracted, and pulled face close to her. And the next thing she did knocked the breath out of me. She kissed me gently cupping my face with her free hand. My instincts took over my body. My right hand took her waist and pulled her close to me, while my left hand entangled itself into her long luscious locks. I kissed her back, pouring all my emotions into that kiss.

We pulled away from each other when our lungs screamed for air. I stared at her dazed. She pulled me back to the table, sitting across from me. I couldn’t believe what was happening...

“What I meant by not being friends is...I want to be your woman...” she broke the silence, and I came back to my senses...

“Kwon Yuri, will you be my girlfriend?” I asked firmly, taking her hands in mine.

“YES!” She said before kissing my gently on the cheek. Her “yes” made me the happiest man on Earth. We spent the night at Halmoni’s store, eating and talking to each other incessantly. God, I’m so freaking happy!