You laid your hand down firmly on the wooden bench you sat on, relishing the strong solid feeling as you pushed against it. It was a cool night, but you were warm enough in your sweater and pajama pants. Lee Omoni had asked her husband years ago to plant four orange trees in the backyard, where you now sat, enjoying the fresh citric scent the unripe fruits lent to the air. 

Seoul always gave off too much light and pollution to allow anyone to see the stars, but there was always at least on or two that you could gaze it, and thankfully, it did not diminish the light from the moon. 

Tomorrow, your entire life and everything you had ever know was going to change for good. Yet, sitting there on that bench, you could only feel a sense of calm washing over you. It was only an old wooden bench, the four fruit trees Lee Abeoji had planted years ago, and the light from the moon, but you couldn’t deny that there was something deeply…spiritual about being awake among these things while the rest of the household slept. 

Lee Omoni had a few flowers pots sitting near the bench which gave color to that section of the yard. You smiled down at them as though they were little children. Flowers always comforted you. It made you think back to your days of working in the Kim Family Flower Shop when you were a teenager. You had prided yourself then with knowing every flower in the shop. The pots Lee Omoni arranged around the bench held geraniums, pink, red, and purple. You made a mental note to compliment her on their beauty later. 

You thought about the Kim family Flower Shop. It was shame that it had gone out of business a few years ago. Even after you left employment there, you still liked to visit it often. You were thankful to that little flower shop. It was what started the spiral of events that would all intersect tomorrow. 

You thought about your family, your friends, and the comfortable life that you were living now. Once tomorrow came, you would not be able to return to things you were used to anymore. Could you give it up? 

“Jagiya?” said a familiar voice. You looked to see that Onew had come out of the house as well. Like you, he was dressed in pajamas and a warm sweater. His feet were hidden in a pair of fuzzy slippers and you smiled at cute you found the situation.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, taking a seat next to you on the bench. “It’s one in the morning. Aren’t you tired?”

You shook your head. “No, I can’t sleep.” Onew nods and smiles in understanding.

“Neither can I,” he said. The two of you sat in a comfortable undisturbed silence for a few more minutes. Onew closed his eyes and leaned against the back of the bench. He looked so peaceful that you thought he had fallen asleep. You wondered if there would be more moments like this in the future. He had been so busy the past few days. It was chaotic. But now, with him in the darkness midst the oranges and the moonlight, you could the electricity between you, could hear your heartbeats synchronizing, and your breaths becoming even. And it felt like you were really in love, sitting there on that bench, braving the wind together.

Suddenly, he spoke up.

“Are you thinking about tomorrow?” he asked. You smiled.

“Actually,” you said. “I was thinking about yesterday.”

“Yesterday?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I don’t just mean the day before, though. I mean, yesterday in a collective sense.”

“You were thinking about the past then?” he said, looking at you. You met his gaze and nodded.

“Our whole lives are about to change, Jinki,” you said. “But somehow it doesn’t matter to me quite as much as what happened before. You know how when you have a near-death experience and your life flashes before your eyes?”

“Well, I’ve never had such an experience, but I can imagine.”

“Well… right now, I can see our lives flashing before my eyes. I used to spend my childhood wishing I were grown up and complaining when things didn’t go as I planned them. But now I’m glad God decided to stick to his plan rather than mine.”

A gentle wind stirred the trees and a few petals from the geraniums fell from their stems, and Onew scooted closer to you for warmth. 

“I often think about that we met, too,” Onew said. “You were working at the flower shop, remember?” 

You nodded. 

“I was thinking about how stupid that day was and how it was just a commercial stunt to get consumers to go out and shop. And wallowing in self-pity, of course.”

“It was White Day and I was annoyed at my friend for forgetting to buy his girlfriend a gift and making me go out for one. I was really pissed, then. But you’re right. Now I’m actually kind of glad that he did.”

You reached over and took his hand in yours. 

“Are you not nervous about tomorrow, then?” he asked.

You thought about it for a while. You had considered the day for a long time, weighing your life and how content you were with it. Would you be able to walk away from it all and into unknown territory? 

You looked at Onew for a little while, wondering if he too had been thinking about the magnitude of the step he was about to take, and just how much it really would affect his life. You knew absolutely nothing about the new life you were going to step into, nothing about the new person you were preparing to become. 

But somehow seeing Onew who filled each day with promise and was there for you to see that each promise came true. He was like the sun, to you. The sun who brought you warmth and new hope with each dawn. Once the night passes, he’d be the one bringing you new tomorrows. 

But as you thought about what the future held for you, and how fast it was coming, you realized that you had never been more thankful for yesterdays than tonight. If it weren’t for all the things that went wrong, the little slip-ups of the past, you may never have found your way to him.

They led you to this place, and they were the reason you were with him on this bench right now. 

“No,” you said. “Actually, I’m happy. I think I’ve spent quite enough time as the old me. I think that once tomorrow comes, I’ll be able to step into my new self happily.”

“It’ll be a big change,” Onew said. “But I guess if you’re ready for it, then so am I. We can face it together.”

“Do you have any regrets?” you asked him. Onew looked up at the sky to give the effect that he was thinking long and hard about this question. You laughed at him and he looked back at you with a smile.

“No, you’re right,” he said. “The future is really mysterious and fast-approaching, but even when I’m standing on the brink of the first day of a totally new life, I don’t feel bad about looking back. I don’t have regrets… I wouldn’t change anything. Everything happened perfectly.”

“Nothing’s perfect,” you said.

Onew tried to keep himself from laughing, but he couldn’t hide the smile he had on his face. He looked over at you and stared into your eyes.

“Some things are,” he said.

Another gust of wind made the chimes on the side of the house sing. 

“It’s really amazing,” you said.

“What is?”

“The big picture,” you said. “When I was younger and life was chaotic, I didn’t understand why certain things happened. Like when you’re too close to a painting and you can’t figure it out. But now that I can look back, I can see how beautiful things really are.”

“And how much more beautiful they can get,” Onew said. “I’m both scared and excited for tomorrow.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know… that’s just it I guess. Because I don’t know. When I’m with you, I can think that the future is really full of promise. But those promises won’t come true if we don’t make them.”

“Then we’ll fulfill them together,” you said. “I don’t know what will happen either, but if I’ve got you, then I’m okay with whatever.”

Onew squeezed your hand. “They’ll ask you this tomorrow: are you still sure about this decision?”

“I am,” you said. “And happily so.” Onew nodded.

“Then so am I,” he said. Without saying a word, the both of you turned to look up at the moon together, as though asking it for its approval.

You hoped that there would be more moments like this with Jinki in the future. It was times like these when you really felt that you were connected with him. Despite your happy feelings, there was definitely a small tinge of the fear of the unknown. But you weren’t disheartened, knowing that you were going in the same direction as Onew, and that you would be going together. 

If anyone asked you if you were really sure about him the answer would not change: you were and happily so.

“It’s getting cold. And late,” Onew said. “Shouldn’t you go inside and get some rest now? I’m actually getting sleepy myself, now.”

You laughed at him gently. “I’ll be okay,” you said. I want to stay out here a little longer. Go ahead, don’t wait for me.”

“Alright,” he said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you at the altar tomorrow then.” 

“I love you,” you said.

“I love you, too… and always will.”

Onew stood up from the bench and was halfway back to the door when he suddenly turned back and went over to you.

“By the way,” he said, placing something on your lap. It was a single burgundy rose, the same one he had given you when you first met. You don’t know how beautiful you are, it said. You smiled down at it blissfully as he patted your head.

“Happy White Day.”

—————

Fin