November, 2010

She stopped briefly in front of the arrival gate of Incheon Airport to inhale the air of South Korea. She adjusted the position of her shades and ran her hand through her silky hair. Dragging her luggage with her, she began to walk again when someone called her name.

“Sooyoung!”

Sooyoung turned to face a woman that looked almost exactly like her and smiled. She took off her shades and hugged her.

“Soojin unnie! I miss you so much!”

Sooyoung broke the hug and smiled widely at her sister. Beside Soojin was a man she also know so well—her brother-in-law. She smiled and gave him a brief hug. Soojin held her and turn her around.

“Omo, Sooyoung-ah, you really, really changed! You dressed like a celebrity now, aigoo, my little designer sister,” Soojin commented and ruffled Sooyoung’s hair. Sooyoung blushed a little. She, indeed, was very eye-catching that day. She wore black trousers, a lacy transparent white top with a visible black tank-top inside. Because it was winter, she wore a pastel-colored coat which she didn’t button. She also stood out among others because of the heels she’s using, which emphasize her height even more.

“Aniyo, unnie, why are you like this~” Sooyoung said bashfully. “Where’s Hana, unnie?”

“Hana is at school, she missed you so much too,” Soojin answered as they walked to the car. Sooyoung pouted. “I miss her. And I miss Mom and Dad, too.”

“Everyone missed you too, Sooyoungie,” Soojin said as she hugged her sister once more before entering the car. Sooyoung smiled. She looked out from the window as the car began to move. The sight of everything, that was almost exactly as she remembered how it was. She’s home.

Seoul, South Korea. Her homeland. The city where she had spent her 22 years of her life, before departing to Paris, France to study deeper about her passion. She had always wanted to be a designer. But she still wanted to please her dad, who was a businessman, and so she studied business and management in her college. But then again, she still couldn’t let go of her initial dream, and she went to try for it. Lady luck was still on her side. She got admitted into a prestigious fashion school in Paris. But now, here she is, again, in Seoul. The city where she was born, where her parents raised her, where she had friends like no other, the city where she met… and left him.

She remembered every single moment of their last encounter. She used to cry when she recalled about it back then in here first few weeks in Paris alone. But now, she won’t let anything out but a sad smile.

She also remembered that he was the reason she had the nerve to try and submit an application to the university of her dreams in Paris. But then again, he was the one who was hurt the most by it.

*

“Oh? Oppa, what are we doing here?” Sooyoung asked to the tall guy next to her. They were walking together, her slender hand in his warm one. She leaned to his shoulder. Then they stopped, right under one of the big trees in the campus park.

“Because this is where we first met,” he chuckled as he let go of her hand to hug her waist. “Do you remember our first meeting?”

“Yes, I do,” Sooyoung laughed. She playfully slapped his arm, which was around her waist. “Yah. Stop being cheesy.”

“Since when did being a bit nostalgic cheesy, love?” He said to her neck. Sooyoung rolled her eyes, unaware that he noticed it.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” she said as she turned in his embrace. “You, Choi Siwon, are the cheesiest person I’ve ever met.”

Siwon flashed his breathtaking smile at her. They were face to face now, with his arms around her waist and hers around his neck. “Hmm. And the coolest, kindest, sweetest, most handsome person you’ve ever met too, right?”

Sooyoung scoffed. “Also the most narcissistic.”

Siwon smiled. He hugged her tighter. He kissed her forehead and inhaled the sweet smell of her shampoo. Sooyoung leaned on his chest.

“Woah,” she said as she pulled away. “Your heart beat is really fast, you know that, oppa? You’re not sick, are you?” She asked, concerned. Siwon grinned and shook his head. He pulled her in again. She didn’t resist. It felt nice, being in his embrace. It was really warm, especially this day, when the leaves are yellow and falling, sign that the winter is near.

“Sooyoung, remember the first day we met?” Siwon asked. He coughed, slightly nervous. “Can you recall it for me?”

“Why, don’t you remember?” Sooyoung said. She stopped to think for a while. Then she giggled a bit. “We were such nerds, weren’t we? We fought over this tree to read books instead of hanging out with our friends.”

“I remembered that I was here first, and then you came,” Sooyoung said.

“I was here first, honey. You came later and claimed that this is your spot,” Siwon chuckled. Sooyoung stuck out her tongue. “I was here first! You just didn’t saw me. And this was my spot! I always read my books here,” she defended. Siwon laughed.

“Actually this isn’t the only tree, we were just too hard-headed, right?” He said. Sooyoung laughed as she nodded. “But if we weren’t being hard-headed, we wouldn’t be like this now, would we, oppa?” She said, smiling and looking straight into his eyes. Siwon felt his heart skipped a beat. It’s not the first time for him seeing her up close, but every time he did, she was always breathtaking. He gave her a light kiss on the nose and pulled himself from the hug to sit on his knee. Taking out a box from his coat pocket, he looked at Sooyoung and smiled.

“That’s why,” he said, reaching out to hold her hand. “Choi Sooyoung, I love you. Never in my entire life have I met someone as beautiful and perfect as you. And, seeing us like this, I don’t want to lose this, and I don’t want to wait anymore. So,” Siwon said, looking straight into her eyes, as he opened the box. “Will you marry me?”

Sooyoung’s mind went entirely blank. Soon as she gathered her thoughts, she took a step back from Siwon. Her expression was scared.

“Oppa, I-I…” she stuttered. Siwon’s gleeful expression changed. He was beyond confused. Now, seeing her state, he can’t help but also feel terrified.

“I got admitted to Paris Fashion Institute, oppa,” Sooyoung whispered. “I will have to leave Seoul by the end of this year,” she said, her eyes are starting to water. Siwon gathered his composure and tried to smile. He took her hand again.

“It’s okay, Sooyoung. I can wait. I will wait,” he said. Siwon’s heart immediately broke when he saw her shaking her head. Sooyoung’s tears finally fell.

“I don’t want you to wait, oppa,” she stammered. “I—I’m sorry,” Sooyoung said as she walked away. Siwon was dumbfounded. He ran to her and grabbed her arm.

“I don’t mind waiting, Sooyoung, please,” he said as a drop of tear fell on his cheek. “We can talk it out. This will work out. We will work out, okay?”

“I’m sorry…” Sooyoung sobbed as she ran. Siwon didn’t try to go after her.

*

Another sigh escaped Sooyoung’s lips from her little flashback. She smiled sadly to the window. That was their last meeting, ever. He never came to her house during her last several months in Seoul. They never meet during those times. He didn’t even show up on the day she departed to Paris. And afterwards they completely lost contact. At times she would regret it, of course, but what’s past is past, and she can’t change it, can she?

“Sooyoung!” Soojin called her, snapping her out of her reverie. “Jeez, what are you thinking, Soo? I called you a couple of times,” she commented as she looked through the driving mirror at her sister in the back. Sooyoung weakly smiled.

“Sorry, unnie. Just missing Seoul, that’s it. What is it?”

“Well, Hyunshik and I here haven’t had our lunch. Care to drop somewhere for a meal, dear?” Soojin asked. Sooyoung nodded and laughed.

“Unnie, since when did you have to ask if I want a meal? I will always love food,” Sooyoung stated as the three laughed. As the conversation ends, Sooyoung looked back at the window, going back to her previous thought. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

December, 2011

Sooyoung stepped out of her car and stood a while to admire the small building in front of him. Summer, the board said. The small building was white, which stood out of the others around it. The architecture was rather vintage-ish with canopies and swirl patterns. She smiled. She had no idea that this small place could have quite a fame in just a very short time. Indeed it was in the heart of Myeongdong, squeezed between the high-end fashion boutiques with grand names. All thanks to her family and her best friends, Kwon Yuri—Horvejkul now, Hwang Tiffany, Jung Jessica, Im Yoona and Seo Joohyun in realizing this dream of hers. It’s been only a year since she came back to Seoul and god has given her this kind of bliss.

When she stepped in, the employees bowed to her. She flashed a smile at them and looked around happily at the people who were browsing the clothes racks. It was pretty awesome, she must say. Seeing costumers in her own boutique. It wasn’t that full, but still, the costumers come and go constantly, and not an hour would the boutique be empty. She was also happy seeing the range of costumers—mostly women, though—which extends from teenagers, young adults, middle aged women and even tourists. She smiled as she entered her office. This was a dream come true.

What’s more is that a week ago she got a call from a magazine to work with them on their latest photoshoot. She was beyond delighted. A photoshoot featuring her designs! As if it’s not enough, her friends, Kim Taeyeon who is a top-notch singer, and Im Yoona who is an actress, insisted on wearing her designs to promote it. Apparently that’s one of the reasons why her name skyrocketed so fast in the fashion industry. She even has an opportunity to display her collection next week on the Seoul Fashion Week 2011. She couldn’t be more thankful. Everything in her life was in place. It was perfect.

Well, not really everything.

Was it her fault that she still thought about him from time to time? It became even worse ever since she came back from Paris. Probably it was because of the fact that they are now in the same city so she couldn’t help but let a few thoughts pass. But no, they haven’t met in years, would he even remember her? He probably has a girlfriend—or wife—already now, and happily living his life, continuing his father’s business.

“Not again, Choi Sooyoung,” she mumbled to herself before pinching her arm. She winced. “Focus. He’s not letting you go to Paris so you can daydream all the time,” she whispered to herself, dismissing the thought in her mind.

“So, Miss, are you going to have a lunch with me or what?” A woman retorted. Sooyoung snapped and looked up to see Yuri leaning on her office entrance. Sooyoung gave her a face.

“How long have you been there?” She asked as she motioned Yuri to sit. Yuri walked and sat in front of her. She sighed.

“You know, a meeting wouldn’t hurt,” she said as she smiled sadly to her best friend. Sooyoung let out a forced laugh. “Maybe it won’t. But it’ll be awkward, considering I rejected his proposal in the past.”

“That’s not funny, Soo,” Yuri said. Sooyoung shook her head and smiled at her. “Sooyoung, you know, he—“

“So what are we having for lunch, Yul?” Sooyoung asked, cutting off Yuri’s sentence and changing the topic. “I had a complete bulgogi dinner last night, so I’m feeling like European. How about some pasta?” Sooyoung asked, flashing a fake smile to Yuri. Yuri sighed.

“Pasta will be okay—hey! I’m in a diet!” Yuri said. Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to diet, mind your little bundle of joy, Mrs. Horvejkul—ugh, why do you have to have a husband with a hard name?”

Yuri elbowed her as they both walked out and headed to Sooyoung’s car. Yuri glanced at Sooyoung, wanting to continue her cut-off talk, but she knew that it’s best not to. She looked out at the window.

“If only you knew that he still waits, Soo.”

*

Sooyoung stared at the models around her; some of them are wearing her designs. Her models. Her fashion show. One by one, her dreams are coming true. She was in a periwinkle dress which flows until right before her knee—her own design, too, and she held a bucket of red roses in her arms. She turned around then, because someone called her name. She faced a beauty with a delighted expression—her best friend, Yoona, who was an actress. Yoona was wrapped in a short white dress with a classy light pink outerwear, and her height matched Sooyoung’s—being the tall people they are—with a pair of red pumps. She was, of course, invited to attend the Seoul Fashion Week for her huge fame. Oh, did she mention that the white dress was Sooyoung’s design? Yoona gave her a hug.

Yoona squeezed Sooyoung’s arm after they separated from their hug.

“I can’t believe it! I just watched your fashion show!” Yoona squealed. Sooyoung rolled her eyes and laughed. “It’s not my fashion show, Yoong. It’s Seoul Fashion Week. It’s not my solo show.”

Yoona scoffed. “No difference. But your designs are displayed here, Choi Designer. Ah! I know this day will come!”

Sooyoung laughed at her pretty friend’s antics. “Calm down, will you, Actress Im? This was all thanks to you.”

“I can’t! I think I’m freaking out, omo,” Yoona said.

“Did you see me waving to you from the front seat?” Yoona asked excitedly. Sooyoung laughed and shook her head.

“Of course I did!” She answered. All of a sudden, someone tapped her shoulder and the next second she is posing with Yoona. “Now I can’t believe it. I’m going to have my face somewhere with the super famous actress Im Yoona,” Sooyoung said. They laughed together. Yoona raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously.

“So, I guess, a late dinner and a little party with the girls now, then, Soo?” She asked. Sooyoung grinned, knowing exactly what Yoona had meant. They may be older now, but when the girls are out altogether, they are still wild and fun as ever. She winked at Yoona. “Only if you want to be in tomorrow’s headline: ‘Rising Actress Im Yoona Caught Drunk in a Famous Club’. How’s that?” Sooyoung said. Yoona laughed.

“Ooh, I’d like that. Good for my popularity—“ Yoona’s laugh abruptly stopped upon seeing something behind Sooyoung. Sooyoung blinked, noticing her best friend’s weird actions.

“Yoong?” Sooyoung called out, worried about her friend. Yoona smiled weakly and shook her head.

“I guess… you’re not in for the party tonight, Soo. Or… we’ll just have it another day,” Yoona said as she stepped away from Sooyoung, smiling and waving at her. Dumbfounded, Sooyoung nearly ran to her, but Yoona shook her head again and waved.

“What the—Yoong!” Sooyoung huffed. “What was that?” She said to herself. Great. Now how is she going to go home?

“I shouldn’t have Soojin unnie to drive me here this morning, if only I bring my car with me—“ Sooyoung turned and stopped on her heels. She lost her words upon seeing the person in front of her.

*

Dressed in a black tux and a white shirt, with a pair of black shoes and messy hair that still exposes his forehead, he took Sooyoung’s breath.

He smiled at her and walked closer to her. He held a white rose in his hand. Sooyoung froze. She wanted to walk away, scared to face what’s in front of her, but her feet felt like glued to the floor. She also wanted to smile, but she can’t. It’s as if she was paralyzed.

“I guess you’ve already had enough flowers, haven’t you?” Siwon said, grinning sheepishly. “Maybe I should’ve brought more,” he said as he let out a chuckle.

“Hi,” Sooyoung squeaked. She was so confused. She didn’t know what to say, how to react, and what to do. Four years and there he was, in front of her, again.

“Hi,” Siwon laughed. “Nice dress you’re wearing. Your own, I suppose,” he said as he offered her the white rose. Sooyoung hesitantly took it, her hand slightly trembling.

“Thanks. Um, yes,” she said. She shifted her attention to the flower instead of him. “Thank you… for the flower. It’s pretty.”

“You’re welcome, and congratulations,” he said. Sooyoung lifted her head to look at him. He grinned to her—that boyish, cute grin, his signature. Her cheeks felt hotter and her heart beats faster. She wouldn’t deny if her face is completely red right now. “Really. Congratulations. You’re really great, you know. I might not understand anything about fashion, but you’re awesome nonetheless,” he said and smiled. From one look, Sooyoung can tell that he was sincere.

“Thanks. Thank you so much,” she said. She didn’t know anything else to say but thank you to him just now, due to his endless compliments. He laughed.

“Why do you keep saying thanks? Come on, Soo. I’ll take you home. Yoona ditched you, didn’t she?” Siwon said, smiling warmly at her and motioned for her to come with him. Sooyoung hesitated. Wouldn’t it be awkward? But why is he acting like this?

“I—wait, I’ll just get my things,” Sooyoung said before hurrying to the backstage. She frantically gathered all her stuffs and some sketches she was making. She ran back to where he was—a part of her thought that he would disappear and that it was just her hallucination—but no, he was still there. He smiled when he saw her back, and chuckled a little on the things she tried to bring, plus the roses.

“Here, let me help you with that,” he said, offering to help her. She, again, hesitated to accept his help. He was too kind, way too kind to her. She was overwhelmed. But what can she say; her stuffs are too many to be carried by her only anyway.

“Thanks… again,” Sooyoung said. “I guess I’ll have to thank you this whole night.”

“I’d rather you don’t,” he laughed as they made their way to his car. He even opened the door for her.

“Th—“

“Okay, you have to stop that now or I’ll make you search for a new ride to get you home,” he said jokingly before closing the door, earning a smile from her. He sat in the driver’s seat and started the engine. From that, it was quiet.

Sooyoung kept stealing glances of him. There is so much she had wanted to say, yet she doesn’t know how to. And even though his expression is still warm, he’s now quiet, compared to just then.

“I’m sorry,” she managed to choke out. Siwon smiled and looked at her. “Sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry,” Sooyoung said. Her voice was shaky. She didn’t know if she was about to cry or not. “For everything.”

There was a long moment of silence.

Siwon’s smile disappeared, but he didn’t have a cold expression on his face. Instead, he just stared and focused on the roads. Sooyoung was at loss again. She now stared openly at him, hoping that he would say something in response. She was never up for sensitive talks. She can’t do it. Even though she’s an easy going person on the outside, she can never really voice out her feelings. So there she was, staring at either him, her fingers or the window during the long, quiet drive.

It felt like years until they reached her house. She sighed. He hasn’t answered her apology. Then there was another moment of silence after the engine is off.

“Thanks again,” Sooyoung said. She looked at him and smiled, preparing to get off. Just before she opened the door, he held her hand. She was startled, but she looked at him. He looked intensely at her. Their face was close. And if Sooyoung was always breathtaking to Siwon, then the same goes for her. She didn’t know why, but her eyes started to water. Maybe because she missed this sight so much.

“I’m sorry,” Sooyoung said again. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“Ssh,” Siwon said, wiping her tears. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Soo.”

“No. There are so much to be sorry about,” she sobbed. Siwon reached and hugged her. Sooyoung cried to his shoulder, letting out everything.

“This is not your fault, Sooyoung,” Siwon said as he caressed Sooyoung’s back to soothe her. “I told you I’m going to wait. And that’s all I did. That’s all that happened. I waited, and you came. You have nothing to be sorry about,” he whispered. What he said made Sooyoung cried even more.

“I broke your heart,” she stammered.

“You can do anything to my heart, Sooyoung, it was completely yours anyway,” Siwon said as he smiled gently. “Aren’t you going to complain about how cheesy I am?”

Sooyoung smiled weakly as she shook her head, but her tears continued to fall.

“Stop crying, Sooyoung,” Siwon said softly. He pulled back from the hug and cupped her face in his hands, making her look at him. “I told you, right? I will wait for you. No matter what, no matter how long, I will always wait for you, you understand?” he said. “I’m even willing to take this to zero again, to start over everything again. I love you.”

Sooyoung looked at him while trying to contain her sobbing. She didn’t know if the tears were blocking her view or what, but she thought she saw Siwon’s eyes glimmering with tears. And she was right, for the next second it fell to his cheek.

“I love you,” Siwon said again, and smiled despite his own tears. Sooyoung was in awe. She never saw him crying before. Not even the day when she rejected his proposal. “Choi Sooyoung, I’m willing to do this like we never did it before. I’m willing to start over this relationship completely. I’m willing… to do anything. So please, I know this is our first reunion, but will you please… be my girlfriend again?”

Sooyoung wiped her tears. She looked straight at him and leaned to kiss him. It felt like… fireworks.

“We should stop being cheesy and being such crybabies now,” she said as she laughed and wiped her tears. Siwon smiled. He pulled her again to his embrace as he kissed her soft lips, drowning himself in her strawberry-flavored gloss. Sooyoung literally whined when he pulled back from the kiss, just right when it gets interesting. Siwon grinned at her.

“So am I getting a yes, Miss Choi?”

“Mm. Figure it out yourself, Mister Choi,” Sooyoung said mischievously as she pulled him for another sweet, longing-releasing kiss.

Author’s note: HAHAHA too cheesy? No? What do you think, it’s crappy isn’t it~ Anyway I want to make a chaptered fic, just wait for it ^^ But I can’t promise hahaha