I sighed as I saw him walking tiredly to his room. A very loud sigh although he didn’t hear a thing. His breath was still irregular from the performance he had just ended. There was a terrible pain on his chest, caused by long-night careless drinking in a bar with his best friends. His left leg was hurt too. He got it from a small accident occurred in his dance routine that morning. Everyone was concerned about his condition, but he simply smiled and said that nothing was wrong with his leg. He knew the pain on it was much easier to handle than the pain in his heart.

He let out a sigh too as he carefully placed himself on his bed. He wanted to sleep, I knew that, he was extremely tired that day. But every time he forced his eyes to close, they opened back almost instantly. He rolled on the mattress, trying to think about something to help him fall asleep, but he couldn’t find any. Even after covering his eyes with blindfolds, he couldn’t travel to dream world.

He was thinking, thinking so deep about what he had heard those recent days. There was heartbreaking news, coming from his long lost best friends who were suffering in South Korea, his homeland. He had heard about the death of Park Yoochun’s father, taking place right when JYJ was overseas to hit South America.

Yunho had checked the internet that morning, before he started his schedules with Changmin in Japan. He had seen how Yoochun had cried once he stepped out of the plane which brought him back to South Korea the day before. His brother cried endlessly ever since someone from his management staff told him about the sad news.

How I wish to be there, thought Yunho.

He grew more and more concerned as he heard how Jaejoong had collapsed and been rushed to the hospital from exhaustion. The eldest of the group was unable to hold it, Yunho knew that. First their separation, then their endless battle in court, then the recent issues with stalkers which had offended mainly him, and then the depressing news about Yoochun’s father. Yunho quickly wiped the tears escaping his eyes as he thought it was him who had to bear the responsibilities.

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered in his ear, expecting that he would hear that. “They know you have no choice.”

God, let me be there with them. Please, just this once,he whispered in his prayers.

Just then, Changmin’s guardian angel suddenly appeared by my side.

“Changmin’s crying in his room,” said the angel even before I threw a question. I passed the information to Yunho, who suddenly felt there was something wrong with the maknae. Changmin was torn apart too; losing his grandma’s was a great shock to him. Yunho had witnessed how regretful his only band mate since he couldn’t make it to her funeral. And then, the news about Yoochun’s father hit them like a hurricane. Changmin was Yoochun’s closest; actually they were all each other’s closest, they were like blood-related siblings, there was no doubt the news turned out to be a big shock. Thinking that they couldn’t be there to support Yoochun in his most critical moment broke their hearts into pieces.

I followed Yunho as he rushed into the maknae’s room. The angel was right. Changmin was crying silently. He sat on his bed with his head down; tears fell down from his face onto the floor. He didn’t lift his face up as he heard Yunho’s steps. There were only two of them, although he always wished there were five in that dorm.

“Changmin, what happens?” Yunho quickly sat beside his best friend, whom, along with JYJ, he had considered as his own brother.

“Yoochun-hyung…,” was Changmin’s reply.

“He feels really sorry for Yoochun,” said Changmin’s angel. “This news shatters him.”

“It’s really hard for them,” I replied. I could read Yunho’s mind, I could feel what he felt, and if I could cry, I guessed I had cried by that time. He was more than sad to see his beloved Changmin crying like there was no happiness left in the world. That made him wanted to cry his heart out too. But he knew he had to stay strong for Changmin.

“Sssh, Changmin…,” said Yunho soothingly. He caressed the younger’s shoulder in brotherly love, hoping that his action would somehow calm him down. Yunho couldn’t find anything else to do, not when he was depressed himself.

When will this end, my dear God? When will we be able to meet them again? His heart whispered.

Suddenly, Junsu’s angel joined the scene. Just by taking a brief look at the two, the angel had been aware of what was happening.

“They’re crying too in South Korea, thinking that Yunho and Changmin could do nothing to support them,” said the angel. I breathed heavily as a reply. Their love toward each other was the most magical thing about their friendship, even more magical than what an angel like me could do.

We all watched in silence as Yunho and Changmin snuggled against each other to ease their pain.

“Tell JYJ that Yunho and Changmin are missing them like crazy,” I finally said. “Tell them that the news has reached them; that they’re feeling really sorry for not being there with Yoochun. And tell Jaejoong’s guardian angel to keep him healthy.”

With a brief nod, Junsu’s angel disappeared. Just when Yunho was about to break down like Changmin, I approached him. I whispered very clearly in his ear, spoke directly to his heart, hoping that he would catch what I meant, convincing him to get rid of his fear of what possibly happened if he did as I said.

“Find a way to contact JYJ. Send a message to a mutual friend of yours, someone you can trust by your heart, to forward the message to JYJ,” I said.

Meanwhile, Changmin’s angel was also whispering in his ear, “Encourage your hyung to contact JYJ. This is the time, Changmin, this is the only chance.”

And much to our reliefs, Yunho said to Changmin, “I’ll send JYJ a message. We can’t stay still like this, Changmin. We have to do something, although we can’t be there with them to share this pain.”

“Yes, hyung, you’re right,” Changmin wiped his tears before smiling encouragingly at Yunho.

The later quickly took his phone out of his pocket, texting an actor, one of his best friend in South Korea, who happened to be Jaejoong and Junsu’s close friend in those recent months.

“What did he say?” asked Changmin in curiosity once Yunho received a message back.

“He said he’ll try,” smiled Yunho. “Now we just have to wait and see.”

While both of them were waiting expectantly, Jaejoong’s angel came in view, smiling so widely that even Yunho and Changmin could feel the positivity of the atmosphere.

“They three have read his message. They should’ve replied now,” informed the angel before vanishing.

“He replies!” said Yunho enthusiastically as his phone received a text message from the mediator. Both of them read the message coming from Yoochun before bursting into tears, crying but smiling at the same time.

And seeing Yunho’s smile, I felt like nothing could ever go wrong anymore. Yes, that sincere smile, coming directly from his heart, where I had been staying from his entire life, was all I needed to stay alive.

“Please keep smiling like this, Jung Yunho,” I said. “No matter how hard the situation is, no matter how you want to surrender, please stay strong and keep smiling like this.”

Images credit to the real owner.