by watermelon

“So… Who do you like?” one of my friends asked.

We were playing the usual “Truth or Dare” game because our teacher was absent.

“Must I really say? I mean… I don’t think I like him and I doubt you guys know him anyway.” I answered nervously.

“Aww~ Seems like someone has a boy she likes now huh?” My friend teased and winked at me.

“Damn.” I cursed in my mind.

“Go on and tell us!!!” My other friends pressed on and leaned closer.

“Errr… His name is Kim Myung Soo, the leader of my club. But…But I only admire him!” I confessed.

“Ah! Is he that guy from the top class?” she asked.

“Ah, yea… Wait up. You know him?” I questioned and gasped.

A few of them nodded with cheeky smiles plastered on their faces.

“Aish. Err… Umm… Let’s move on to the next person already!!!” I said quickly and spun the water bottle.

“Hehe… Someone is embarrassed.” One of them remarked.

After school, I made my way to the club room to report for club activities. Then, I spotted Myung Soo with Sung Yeol. They were best of friends, always seen together but they seemed to be exact opposites. Myung Soo was more of the cold and quiet kind to most people. He always had the scary and intimidating aura around him. However, I had noticed another side of him. He would be his funny and joking self around his other friends- mostly the seniors.

Whenever he was with juniors like me, he practically doesn’t smile at all. He would just give out instructions and leave without an extra word. It was as if he was deliberately creating an unseen seniority gap with us. At the start, I perceived my liking to him as admiration instead of a crush. After all, Myung Soo was in the top class and was really smart by nature. His good looks had made many girls in school fall for him. I thought I merely admired his good qualities.

On the other hand, Sung Yeol was more of a cheerful guy in nature. He smiled a lot and joked around even with juniors. He was in the top class too but was less popular as compared to Myung Soo. From what I remembered, the two of them liked to compare with each other a lot- grades, fitness and other things.

As time passed, I found myself looking in Myung Soo’s direction way too often during club activities. It was then that I realize I was having a crush on him. However, things never changed. He was still the cool type and we seldom talked unless necessary.

“Hae Yon? Do you have an account for this?” Sung Yeol approached me and asked.

“Err, yea…?” I answered with an awkward smile.

“Great! I will add you and let’s chat there!” He suggested and proceeded to adding me.

 I nodded my head, looked at him for a while and back at my work.

“Done! Talk to you sometime later then.” He said with a bright smile.

“Alright.” I returned a nice smile.

Later on at night…

Sung Yeol: You are on?

Me: Yup. Hello!

Sung Yeol: I am bored now. Let’s talk!

Me: Okay. What do you want to talk about then?

Sung Yeol: Hmm… How are club activities nowadays? Is it more fun to attend?

“He’s smart to start on our sole common topic.” I thought to myself before typing a reply.

Me: I think it became even better after you guys took over! I really enjoy attending nowadays!

Sung Yeol: Really? Aww~ Anyway, just being random. Is there anyone you like?

“Crazy! Why the heck would a guy ask a girl something so sensitive?!” I thought and hesitated.

Me: Umm… I don’t have anyone I like.

Sung Yeol: Yah! Don’t lie! Everyone would definitely have a crush!

Me: Really… I don’t have one.

Sung Yeol: Yea, right. I so believe you. Faster tell me~ Faster tell me~

I got exasperated and annoyed as he persisted on an answer.

Me: Why would you want to know anyway? Frankly, even if I really have one, I won’t tell you. What if you tell the others?

Sung Yeol: So you indeed have a crush huh?

I face palmed myself, amazed at my stupidity.  

Me: Fine. I admit. I have someone I like. But I won’t tell you. It’s unsafe to share secrets.

Sung Yeol: Don’t be like this. I promise I won’t tell others so just tell me already! I really want to know… How about we exchange secrets then?

“Exchange secrets? I am kind of curious about his little secret too actually.” I thought.

Me: Alright. Let’s exchange secrets. You first.

Sung Yeol: Hmm... I will tell you about my ex-girlfriend then. She’s in our school. Her name is… Ahn Jihyun. Okay, done with my secret. Tell me your crush’s name now!

Me: Hey! But that’s your ex! It’s an unfair trade… Tell me your current crush instead!

Sung Yeol: But I don’t have any now… Ehhh!!! You can’t play cheat after I told you my secret… Faster! Faster! Your turn!!

“Yes. Kim Hae Yon, you are such a pabo.” I scolded myself and pouted. Now, I had gotten myself into trouble. How was I supposed to tell him my crush was his best friend?

Me: You promise not to tell anyone?

Sung Yeol: Yea.

Me: I…I kinda like Myung Soo.

Sung Yeol: Serious?! Hmm… That’s normal though. Many other girls like him too… He’s handsome, cool and smart… unlike me. Haha.

I felt a little sad for Sung Yeol reading his negative self-esteemed reply.

Me: Hey! Don’t think that way! I think you are good too. You are nice, funny and easy-going!

Sung Yeol: Thanks. It’s late already. You should go off and sleep. There’s still school tomorrow.

Me: Okay. Nights!

Sung Yeol: Sweet dreams~

I went to bed after shutting down my lap top. The next morning, I spotted a brand new cell phone on my table and a note lying beside it.

To: Hae Yon

I bought you a new phone because your old one is faulty.
I guess you would like this one I picked for you? Don’t be late for school, alright?

With love

Mum

I smiled at the note and took the mobile phone out from the box excitedly. It was a brown phone, very different from my previous one. I liked it because it was brand new and the design was cool. After some settings, I brought it along with me to school. After several hours, all the boring and lengthy lessons were finally over.

Walking along the corridor with some of my girlfriends, I spotted Myung Soo walking in my direction. I felt my heart beat faster so I quickly pretended to look away. One of my friends noticed my weird behavior and spotted Myung Soo. Without warning, she pushed me towards him real hard. I flung myself in his direction as I was caught unprepared.

In dramas, the female lead would bump into the male lead and he would then catch her in his arms. After which, they would exchange glances and move back shyly. For the exaggerated ones, they would probably both fall onto the ground and accidentally kiss. However, back to reality, that didn’t occur. At that time when I was sent flying in his direction, I didn’t knock into him. In fact, when he saw me falling, he stepped aside. Yes. He actually moved away and because of that I almost fell to the ground. I blushed in embarrassment and glared at my friend for a moment.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled as I straightened myself.

“It’s okay.” He said as he stuck his hands in his pocket and shrugged.

“Omo! Hae Yon-ah, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean it!!” She said as she rushed over.

I stared at her fiercely, telling her to keep quiet. She bit her lips and stopped talking.

“You alright?” Sung Yeol asked as he looked at me

“Me or my disappointed heart?” I thought to myself sarcastically but still nodded.

With that, they left. My other girlfriends crowded around me.

“What was that for?” I reprimanded the one who pushed me.

“I was just trying to help you… Don’t you like him?” she explained.

“Yes. But what you did was…was… Aish. Forget it! Just don’t do it again.” I said, annoyed.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” She apologized and looked down.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t mean harm anyway. You were just trying to help me.” I said with a reassuring smile, trying hard not to show my sadness.

I was really disappointed that Myung Soo avoided me instead of catching me to break my fall actually.

Later during club activities…

I took out my new phone to text my friends when one of my female senior said something.

“Aww~ Do we have couple phones here?” she teased with a playful smile.

I looked up from my phone and met eyes with Myung Soo who was using the same model of phone as me. I swore I didn’t know he used that model of phone too and I never had the intention of copying him. He looked away, uninterested and kept his phone in a seemingly irritated manner. I tried my best to stay normal as I put on a smile.

“Aniya, Soo Yoon unnie! My mother bought this for me. I didn’t choose it.” I explained myself.

“It’s alright~ I understand. I understand.” Soo Yoon said with a teasing smile.

“Nice one. Now Myung Soo would probably think of me as a stalker junior who bought the same phone as him on deliberation.” I cursed in my mind.

For the next few weeks, I was struggling with my academics. For most of the lessons, I had a hard time understanding. Then, during one of the practice sessions, we were told to draw graphs and bring it to the teacher for marking. I was done with mine after a long time and so I queued up at the front with the rest. When it came to my turn, I handed my paper timidly to the teacher. I was unsure of my graphical solutions because I didn’t understand the concept at all.

My teacher picked up the red pen and shook her head as she studied my solutions. I saw her circling my solutions everywhere. At that instant, I felt my other classmates poking their heads to see what was going on. I felt embarrassed as she marked and looked up at me in disbelief and disappointment. I was one of the class committee and I knew she expected more from me.

“I…I really didn’t know how to do. Sorry...” I muttered as I felt tears forming in my eyes.

“Find me if you need help. I think you seriously need to buck up. You don’t seem to understand a single concept.” My teacher remarked harshly.

I nodded my head, took my papers and left class hurriedly. Tears began to fall as I hurriedly wiped them away. I felt dumb and humiliated after doing that piece of work. I used to be one of the students with academical results slightly better than average. Being in the class committee, my teacher would praise me once in a while. However, things seemed to be getting worse that time. Some of my grades slipped because I couldn’t catch up in class and I started to feel depressed. Nothing was going smoothly and I felt terrible.

I tried really hard but somehow the results were still not satisfactory. I began eating more, trying to relieve stress but at the end of the day, I gained more calories and got even more depressed. I had frequent break downs and I felt utterly useless. I used to tell myself during that time that I’m useless, unloved and stupid. I was feeling really lousy all the time and I even cried during club activities out of a sudden.

“You okay?” Soo Yoon asked as she looked at me. She had brought me to the washroom because I broke down, yet again.

“Yea.” I lied.

“You have been crying a lot recently… You wanna talk about it?” She offered.

I shook my head and flashed a fake smile, trying to show that I was fine. However, my tears betrayed me.

Author's Note:
This is not the end to my story yet... I will be posting it as a two-shot.