When did we start, start losing the spark between us?
We’re like a drained cola that’s lost its fizz.
The first feeling of going numb, glancing at each other sideways.
I’m not hanging myself over such a love, don’t wanna try no more.               

12:00 AM.

The digital clock seemed to be mocking me as it continued to change numbers on its screen at almost every blink of the eye.  The dinner on the table was more than likely garbage by now. I looked over at the table in front of me and realized how pathetic this was. I was sitting on a couch with an unopened cola bottle and a bag of potato chips while my boyfriend was probably partying somewhere, forgetting to notify me at least once that he wasn’t making it to dinner. 

One text shouldn’t hurt, right?

I picked my cell-phone from my pocket and quickly texted Jiyong.

Ji, where are you? Eat before you come. Dinner’s trash now.

Send.

Time was ticking, and I was getting heavily annoyed. The least someone could do when coming home late was send one lousy text saying what the hell they were doing. Then again, Kwon Jiyong is my boyfriend. He was the epitome of unpredictable, so what could I really say right now? Besides my growing frustration, it was his personality. It was constantly changing. He went from the sweet boyfriend who would never let me worry about a single thing to this guy who could never feel any more distant towards me.

“I’m home.”

In the midst of my mind boggling thoughts, I must’ve not heard the door click open. I peeked over the couch to see a tired Jiyong … in clubbing attire. Of course, where else can Kwon Jiyong be at this time? Hell, this was early for him to be home if he was clubbing. I laughed bitterly and ignored his entrance. Just focus on the television screen. Just focus on the television screen, don't give him a second glance.

The sound of plates being moved about ruined my mantra and concertration. I finally had to get up and see what he was doing. The dishes I laid out on the table earlier for him were now popped into the microwave. “Apparently, you didn’t receive my text Jiyong.” I snapped, no longer able to hold in my annoyance.

“Don’t start this right now.” He muttered, taking off his leather jacket and throwing it towards the chair. I was ready to rip his head off at this point. I stood there, silently staring him down as he got the food out of the microwave and set it on the table. Was he seriously just going to sit there and eat?

“What? What the hell do you want me to say?” He hissed as he got up to look into the refrigerator. My tongue felt like it was going to burst against my teeth as I bit down as hard as I could to refrain from snapping. I wanted a normal conversation, just once. No more arguing, no more fights, just one calm conversation.

“I just – can you tell me if you’re coming home late? I worry about you, Ji. I just want to know where you are, if you’re safe, and when you’ll be home.”  I started softly, not sure how he was going to react. I heard the click of his tongue and a loud sigh before he slammed the fridge shut to turn and look at me.

“Is there any cola left?”

What the—

“…What?”

His eyes roamed the room before they landed on my cola near the coffee table and in that split second, he leaped over the couch to grab it. I stared at him in disbelief as he came walking back, taking his original seat at the dining table. Without even sparing another glance at me, he began to eat. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this point.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me right now?” I snapped. When I try to ease into a conversation that could settle our problems, he decides to ignore me. There were many times where I felt like ripping Jiyong’s pretty little head out of his body but I had to admit that the urge was definitely stronger this time around. As if bugged by the holes I was boring into his skull with my gaze, he looked up at me and set his fork down.

“I don’t want to fight with you right now. I’m tired of it, babe. I really am and it’s driving me crazy.” His voice was so low and soft that I could of easily mistaken that those words were not for me to hear. Then I realized that they weren't meant for me to hear, he was telling himself this. No tears, keep your head up. No crying, don't show him your tears ever again. I continued to repeat the new mantra to myself over and over as I silently watched him open my bottle of cola and drink from it.

“…I’m fed up.” He continued, taking a side glance at me as if waiting for the waterworks to kick in. But I couldn’t cry. I mentally prepared myself for this moment because I knew it was coming. If I had only known that it was coming so soon, I would’ve initiated the topic first. I could only nod my head for him to continue as I felt the small tugs in my heart, waiting for it to burst.

“Maybe we should just take a break from this…all of this.” I watched as he reached for the cola and took another small sip before putting it down and groaning in disgust.

“There’s no more fizz…” He whispered.

And Kwon Jiyong was right tonight, how long could you stand to drink cola with no fizz? 

__fin.