STORY LINK

Title:[4/5]

Nice title. It matches well with the story. However, the title does not have much attraction force. 

Poster:[-/-]

No poster. I will not count this section. Perhaps you can request for a poster from a shop. It makes your story more pretty. 

Foreword and Description:[4/5]

Your description is okay. There are some grammatical error. I will point them out later. Foreword is good, just like a normal foreword; an author's note. 

Characterization:[6/10]

Not much description. Maybe you should add in the character analysis in your description since you did not describe the characters well in the story. 

Originality:[2/5]

The story is not original at all. There are so many stories out there like that! Triangle-relationship. However, like what your readers requested, a sequel would be nice. I would not mind helping you review your sequel! :)

Plot:[10/15]

It is not interesting. However, the length is good for a oneshot. If you decide to expand on the genre of these type of relationship, I suggest that you think of interesting point to make your story different from the others! ^^

Spelling/Punctuation:[18/25]

The second one is the corrections.

In your foreword:

"Will you still have faith? Or move on?"

"Will you still have faith? Or will you move on?"

In your story:

{Paragraph 1}

"Haewon was quietly walking on her way home."

"Haewon was quietly walking home."

"It’s been bothering her for a while now.''

''It has been bothering her for quite a while now.''

"Ever since she and her boyfriend went to her house, Chunji doesn’t pick her up from school or even send her a text message that she usually receives."

"Ever since she and her boyfriend went to her house, Chunji does not pick her up from school or even send her a text message that she usually receives.''

"He isn't like this before."

"He is not like this before."

{Paragraph 2}

"She met eyes with a tall young man with intense eyes."

"Her eyes connected with a tall young man."

I do not really understand you saying 'intense eyes'.

"She’s so glad to see her boyfriend’s bestfriend."

"She is so glad to see her boyfriend’s bestfriend."

I will pick up some more obvious mistakes from here onwards. Now you know your mistake on the abbreviations part.

{Paragraph 14}

"White Day,"

"White Day."

You can underline it if you want.

I also realized you like to use 'pouted' at lot. Try not to use a word too much as it would just sound boring.

{Chapter 19}

"Her chest was starting to get heavy."

"Her chest started to get heavy."

Sorry I only pointed out some.

Writing Style:[6/10]

I do not really like your writing style. You use colours for your dialogue. I understand the different colours is for different people. However, it can be differentiated well without the colours. Some sentence are unclear. I realized you like to use abbreviations. You are not suppose to use 'she's' but 'she is'. Abbreviations can only be used for speech/dialogues. Also, the part where Myungsoo heard Chunji with Haewon's sister. They are at Haewon's house, right? And Haewon went home already, why is it Myungsoo hearing those things?

Flow: [4/5]

Flow was fine. 

Enjoyment:[6/10]

It is a normal story. 

Bonus:[-/-]

Total:[60/90]  = [67/100]

Reviewer's note: At the end, please do not say negative things about your story. Do not discourage your readers, be proud that you wrote the story and do not say your story is boring. 

Please remember to comment when you collect and credit in your story! Do not forget the rules!!!