Chapter Twelve

"If I could have it any way, I'd stare at the ocean forever.”

"Why?”

"Because it's beautiful, Jonghyun.”

"Doesn't it get lonely, though? Staring at the water all by yourself?”

"Who said I'd be by myself?”

"Who else would you be with then?”

"...with you.”

An ice-cream date.

Who would have expected that his last time with Sora would be somewhere so simple? But, the more Jonghyun thought about it, it wouldn’t have had it any other way. He didn’t want to go back to Seoul.

He watched Sora poke her spoon into the ice-cream. Cookies n' cream. Her favourite flavour. Yet she wasn't devouring it as she usually would. She took her sweet time, dragging on until a quarter of the cup was filled with melted ice-cream. Sora even offered it to him – which was strange to Jonghyun. She was distinctly generous in everything else she did; all except for her ice-cream sharing. In fact, she was selfish.

They sat by a bench overlooking the ocean. The sun was setting. Rays or reds and oranges splayed over the inked blue horizon.

“You're thinking about something.” Jonghyun surveyed her. “What is it?”

It didn't take a genius to figure it out. She had a talent for hiding her emotions with a kind smile. If Jonghyun hadn’t known her habit for devouring ice-cream, he wouldn’t have known that something was worrying her.

She didn't reply straight away. They sat there in comfortable silence, watching the waves crash onto the shore. “I was expecting this.”

“Expecting what?” Jonghyun questioned back.

“You're going back to Seoul. Kaori told me that you'd be leaving tomorrow. We aren't going to last, are we?” She laughed quietly, brushing the stray strands of hair that fell over her face. He expression looked bleak despite the laughter. “You're going to break up with me, aren't you?”

Jonghyun was at a loss of words. He had never once thought about breaking up with Sora. Yes, he'd thought about going back to Seoul, which he was intending to tell her that night. He had meant to tell her earlier, but every time he spent time with her he would forget to bring it up...and because he didn’t want to. They had gotten close again and saying that he’d be leaving had been hard. It had been a conversation that Jonghyun had dreaded.

However, Sora thinking that he wanted to break up with her was way too extreme. “Why would you think that for?”

Sora laughed again, tone bitter. She shrugged. “What else was I meant to think, Jonghyun?”

“I was going to tell you...”

“Then why couldn't you?” she bristled. It was one of those rare moments where Jonghyun could sense anger radiating from her.

She punched him on his arm. “Why did I have to find out through Kaori to know that you were leaving?”

Jonghyun frowned as she continued to hit him, but he didn’t try to stop her. It served him right for not telling her from the beginning. It had been his fault.

“Why did you treat me so well this last week, is it because you're leaving for good?” Sora sighed. She lightly punched him again, frustrated. “If you don't want to be with me, then just tell me!”

When he was about to speak up, he saw one tear drop down her left cheek. And, before he knew it, she had begun to sob. Sora was about to raise her arm to hit him again, but Jonghyun held onto her wrist. She fought back, pushing him in frustration. However, he had grabbed after her and soon they were tumbling onto the sand.

After they had stopped rolling, Jonghyun prevented Sora from punching him again. He s an arm around her waist, pushing her body completely on top of his so that they were too close in proximity for her to hurt him.

He studied the tears that ran down her cheeks. Her bottom lip trembled. “Jonghyun, I’m sorry…”

“Why?” Jonghyun said. “I should have told you.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I hate holding you back. You’ve got so much going for you, and I’m in the way.”

He dipped down, chest touching hers. His lips pressed against hers, demanding, but she turned her face around to prevent him from kissing her. Scowling, he forced her to look at him straight in the eye, hand gripping her chin as he tilted her face towards him.

He growled, “Don't you ever stop believing in us. Don't you dare say something like that.”

“Why?” she whispered.

Jonghyun breathed in and out, looking down at her. She was no longer fighting, staring back at him in bemusement. “Because I love you.”

•••••••••••••••

It was already night time.  The two only forms of illumination were the trail of lamps mildly lighting up the bayside street, and the moonlight that shimmered over the dark water. Although the sun had set, Sora and Jonghyun remained tangled in each other’s arms as they surveyed the calming, yet tragic view.

To Jonghyun, it was like a part of him was dying. He didn't know how to deal without Sora. Going back to Seoul scared him. He wished he could say that he had faith in their relationship, but it was still new, raw and fresh. They had been friends since childhood, yet being a couple was different. The disliked the thought of the distance; and he knew that Sora felt the same way about it too. It wasn’t like they would be living in different countries, it was the thought that she wasn’t in the same town, the thought that he wouldn’t be able to see her whenever he pleased.

“Will we work out?” Sora voiced their thoughts aloud. She had repeated the question yet again.

“We'll work out,” Jonghyun confirmed, although he still had his own doubts. He hated talking about them leaving each other, so he brought up something else. “Is there anywhere you want to go while I’m here? Anything you want to do?”

He put his arms around her as she leaned back into his arms. She whispered, “Just like this. How we are now is perfect.”

Jonghyun's lips touched her neck, kissing her. He was happy how they were now too. They'd stare at the sunrise if they had too. He didn’t want to move from that same spot. Her in his arms was good enough. Sleep could wait. Sleep wasn't important when she was by his side.

“I could never compete against my arch-nemesis anyway,” Sora said, thoughtfully.

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, no longer kissing her. “Who?”

“Music,” she replied, shortly.

“I love music, but I love you more.”

“Liar,” Sora huffed, smile painted on her lips.

Jonghyun's lips quirked. “I'll miss you.”

She ran her hands through his hair and tenderly stared at him. Jonghyun closed his eyes, savouring the moment because he didn't know when he would see Sora again. She turned around to directly face him, sitting onto his lap as she placed her hands around his neck.

His throat dried up, but he couldn’t disguise a sly simper as his he used one hand to hold the small of Sora’s back, with the other to rest on the back of her head. His fingers entwined in her long wavy hair as she pushed him down onto the sand again, kissing him.

•••••••••••••••

“SURPRISE!”

Jungshin, Minhyuk and Jonghyun emerged from behind the kitchen sinks with mischievous grins on all three of their faces. “I told you this wouldn’t work,” Minhyuk muttered, before crying out in pain when he received a step on the foot by Jungshin.

Yonghwa was shaking his head while Seohyun was looking at them, confused. Another failed surprise, but who could blame it when they hid behind the move obvious place.

“Thanks for the warm welcoming,” Yonghwa said, sarcastically. Yonghwa caught his eye and gave him a wink. Jonghyun smirked, giving his hyung a brief hug.

A week back Jonghyun was wondering whether he was meant to be there or not. After moving back into the CNBLUE dorm it felt like he hadn't left at all. Everything remained the same. He really had missed the boys. They would still childishly bicker amongst each other, with Jonghyun bullying the maknae to do chores and make him food whenever he felt like it. Perhaps Jonghyun had been acting like a brat by advantageously using his status to take out on the younger members because Yonghwa wasn’t home (and because he couldn’t help but feel sulky since he was apart from Sora).

Now that Yonghwa was back, it would return to how the band usually was. Their company would get them working like dogs again, and their chances were now limited thanks to the scandals they had been involved in. They would have to work really hard to make up for their hiatus and setbacks. It was a lot of work and thinking about it made Jonghyun have a headache.

“Ah! Goguma!” Seohyun exclaimed, excitedly.

Seohyun noticed the sweet potato cake in the living room and Yonghwa let out a wry chuckle at the sight. The sweet potato cake had candles that glowed 'We love You'. It was in contrast to the 'I Love You' candles on WGM, as Jungshin had explained to them. Jungshin had suggested that it be their gift and tradition to the goguma couple.

The goguma couple blew out the candles and they all clapped.

“Welcome to the family, sister-in-law,” Jonghyun grinned. “You're officially married to the jerk now.”

“You were already part of the family,” Minhyuk stated, giving Seohyun a hug.

Jungshin stepped in and presented their wedding gift that they had all chipped in for. Seohyun blushed when she tore the silver wrapping paper and peaked inside the box. “Victoria's Secret?”

“Idiots!” Yonghwa whacked them all on their heads, a bashful grin visible on his face.

When Minhyuk and Jungshin went back to the kitchen to finish dinner preparation, Yonghwa disappeared to put his luggage away.

On the other hand, Jonghyun was too lazy to move. Jonghyun sat back into the sofa and it was then that he realised that it was just Seohyun and him sitting on the couch. As Jonghyun was about to think of a topic to talk about with his sister-in-law, she bet him to it.

“I'm sorry, Jonghyun.”

The lead guitarist raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“Getting you tossed into all that drama with the media,” Seohyun sighed. “It wasn't your fault.”

He shrugged. “It wasn't your fault either, Seohyun.  Anyway, if it wasn't for the media, you would have already married Yonghwa straight after the show ended.”

“Stop it, Jonghyun. I still feel like I'm responsible for it.” Seohyun muttered. She angled her head, thinking of something. “Oh, Yonghwa said something about your childhood love. I hope we didn’t cause much trouble-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She guiltily bit her bottom lip. “Still...”

“Tell me, am I complaining?” Jonghyun asked her.

Seohyun shook her head. She spoke out, gratefully. “Thanks, Jonghyun. I was worried you’d hate me after all the things that have happened.”

Jonghyun shook his head. “It takes a lot for me to hate someone.”

In response, Seohyun giggled. “Is that why Yonghwa told me that if he turned gay, he'd go for you?”

“I’d rather go gay for Jungshin. At least he’d do the house chores for me,” Jonghyun laughed out loud. He heard Jungshin curse at him from the kitchen, having heard Jonghyun’s comment. Jonghyun felt a bit more relaxed now that they were joking. He gave Seohyun a dimpled smile. “How is married life anyway?”

“Weird,” Seohyun said, honestly. “I haven't seen this much of Yonghwa, even when we were filming WGM. And sometimes, it feels like we're still filming, but then I'd realise it's just me and him. And...well, it's good. We do things we couldn’t do on the camera. Not just kissing, but even having pointless arguments. It’s nice not be constantly scrutinised by anybody.”

“Especially when you didn’t want anybody to scrutinise your wedding day,” Jonghyun deadpanned. “You didn't even invite us to your wedding!”

“Next time,” Seohyun promised. “Besides, I know that it's concrete and on paper that Yonghwa and I are married, but he did promise me that we’d have a formal wedding. I mean...on the day I didn’t even wear a proper wedding dress!”

“You're still talking about that?”

Yonghwa had returned, taking a seat in between Jonghyun and Seohyun. He put an arm around his wife. Even married, Yonghwa tended to get jealous over every boy who was near Seohyun. Jonghyun, as well as the other members, found it amusing how over-protective Yonghwa would get whenever Seohyun was around.

But that's how Yonghwa was.

Jonghyun gave a cheeky grin. “Hey, Seohyun, did I tell you about the time when Yonghwa accidentally…”

•••••••••••••••

When Seohyun had left, Yonghwa closed the door and glared at the rest of the CNBLUE members. “Who thought to buy her lingerie?” He looked at each one of them, accusingly.

Jonghyun and Minhyuk caved in, immediately pointing at Jungshin who shot them both a withering look for easily sacrificing him to the devil. “I did.” Having no choice, Jungshin raised his hand. “That's because Kaori helped me.”

“Your girlfriend?” Yonghwa questioned.

“Yeah, she left back for Japan last week.”

“You've only said that one million times,” Minhyuk snapped. “All of you are whipped. You should be ashamed of yourselves!”

Truth be told, both Jungshin and Jonghyun hadn't been coping well after being separated from their girlfriends. They had been moping around and driving poor Minhyuk crazy.

Minhyuk then turned to Jonghyun. “And this guy! I've never seen him compose so many depressing songs in my life! All this wallowing around about being away from their girlfriends-”

“Their?” Yonghwa repeated, looking at Jonghyun who had suddenly developed a fascination for the ground. “Jonghyun!”

“Hyung?” Jonghyun replied, sheepishly.

“Out with it.” Yonghwa barked the order. When he saw Jonghyun shake his head, Yonghwa childishly shoved him. He demanded, “Come on!”

“Fine, fine...” Jonghyun murmured. “Yeah, Minyhuk’s right. Sora and I are together.”

Yonghwa slapped him on the back. “Finally! You've taken longer to become an item more than Seohyun and I have! It's about darn time.”

“I didn't want to make a big deal of it,” Jonghyun said, pointedly. “And I don't know if this long distance thing can work. We're not seeing each other. It's not the same because she isn't here. She goes off and does her things, I do my mine and-”

“Stop being so negative, hyung!” Jungshin chided, pouting in envy. “At least she's living in the same country!”

“Yes!” Minhyuk added. “Anyway, it's not like you've stopped contacting each other! I'm so sick of you Skyping with each other til 3am! You're so clingy!”

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow. “You've been eavesdropping?”

“How can I sleep when I can hear you always talking?” Minhyuk growled. Jonghyun was beginning to think that The Power of Insensitivity had finally worked for Minhyuk.

“Oh, shut up.”

Jonghyun then noticed Yonghwa had a mocking look on his face. Jonghyun snapped, “What?”

“So you've like...made out with her, right?” Yonghwa said. He rubbed his hands together. Jonghyun groaned that Yonghwa wanted to get into the nitty-gritty about his love life - the idiot.

Not understanding where the conversation was leading, Jonghyun spoke, “Well, Sora and I are in a relationship.”

Yonghwa scrunched up his nose. “You know that's repulsive, right? Sora's like a sister to me. I'd hate to imagine if you've done much more-”

Jonghyun scratched his back, avoiding Yonghwa's eye contact, which made the situation worse.

“-You have?”

He heard Minhyuk and Jungshin gasp and when he accidentally stared back at Yonghwa, he was openly gawking at him. Jonghyun's face went a deep shade of scarlet.

“So you've done more,” Yonghwa confirmed. “Dude, I haven't even gone all the way with Seohyun yet!”

“Only once,” Jonghyun admitted. “It just...happened.”

Jungshin clutched his sides, guffawing at them.

“Can you stop talking about Jonghyun?” Minhyuk scowled. He clearly wasn't amused. “Yonghwa's married, Jungshin has a girlfriend and Jonghyun's been getting some! What is wrong with this picture? If anything, I should be getting something! Why do I always end up being last-”

In a sense, Jonghyun was thankful that Minhyuk had switched the subject towards himself. Jonghyun felt like he was going to melt under all the attention and Yonghwa's not-so-discreet glares.

With his long gangly legs, Jungshin kicked Minhyuk until he stopped complaining. When Minhyuk had finally been rendered silent, they migrated towards the living room, collapsing onto the sofas and started to play video games.

Despite the petty arguments, they would always get along. At the moment in time, what mattered to Jonghyun was that they were complete again.

Jonghyun had missed his brothers.

•••••••••••••••

Last Edited: 29.02.16

13.11.12

(a/n) I liked this chapter! I don't know why, but I just do. Haha. I don't usually like many of my chapters because I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but for some reason I like this one. I hope you liked it too! Thanks for reading so far. I think there are about three more chapters left. Just giving you the heads up!