How could he have been so stupid? He held his head in his hands and let the tears fall freely. He lifted his head and stared at the ceiling. He’d rather it be dark and raining outside, yet he could see the sun shining through the window to his right.

He was an idiot; everyone always told him so. He ran his fingers through his brown hair and let his dark eyes fall on the photo of him and her that sat on his nightstand. He picked it up and lightly brushed his fingertips on the smooth surface of the glass protecting the photo.

He chuckled to himself as he let a teardrop fall onto the photo. He remembered the day the picture was taken.

“Changsunnie-oppa~!”

He looked up from where he sat on the red blanket. He closed his book, marking his place and looked at the younger girl. “Neh, what is it?”

She ran over to him, laughing. “Come. Come~!” She bounced on her feet and held her hand out to the older boy. “Jebal~?”

He grinned and took her hand, standing mostly on his own. He laced his fingers with hers as she led him excitedly away from their favorite spot. “Ani Jinri.” He pouted as she led him over to a photographer.

“Oppa~” She pouted up at him and then put on her best aegyo face. “Pretty, pretty please?” She took hold of his hand with both of hers and bounced up and down, pouting at him. “Pleeease, oppa~?”

He had obliged her; the photo in his hands proved it. He bit his lip and set the photo down. He looked absolutely ridiculous; he was wearing her favorite pair of pink bunny ears, giving a victory sign. She was adorable. Her long brown hair pulled into low pigtails, showing off her aegyo.

It was no wonder she was the visual maknae for her group.

Again, he reminded himself that he was idiot. He would have to see her again; they were idols. They performed on the same shows sometimes. Another photo caught his eye and he stared at it.

It was of them standing next to each other, pinkies interlocked, standing with their respected groups. She was holding hands with Luna on her other side and he was holding onto Mir’s hand. They were waiting to see who won.

“Oppa, you did well tonight.” She smiled up at him, linking her pinky with his as F(x) stood beside MBLAQ.
He smiled back at her, squeezing her little finger slightly with his own. “You did too.” He winked playfully.

He laughed dryly. Oh how fans went crazy over that interaction.

He suddenly realized how many photos he had of him and her. In one, they were sitting on a swing, her head was in his lap and he taken out his phone and taken a picture of them.

He took out his phone; she was still his background. She had made a heart with her hands and was making a kissy face, her eyes closed. When she had sent him the picture, she said that she had one of the unnies take the photo for her. The background made him think of their first kiss.

It was just another normal day. They had actually attended a movie premiere together. After the movie had finished, he took her for dinner.

As he was dropping her off at F(x)’s dorm, he felt the need to be closer to her. He leaned his head down and before he could take back his action, she had stood on her tip-toes and closed the gap.

“I have practice tomorrow, oppa. Maybe after, we can go for coffee?”

He grinned and nodded. “Neh, Jinri-ah.”

He let his fingers hover over his lips for a moment before dropping his hand. He remembered what was making his heart hurt so much. After nearly seven months, she came to the conclusion that she was too young.

He didn’t believe that was the reason.

“Oppa, we can’t do this anymore...” Her usual smile and aegyo were gone as she looked up into his eyes.

He looked at her and then bit his lip, taking in a deep breath. “Wae?”

“Schedules, practice, age...” She dropped her gaze and looked at the ground, fidgeting with her fingers.

“You’re lying...” He mumbled, grabbing her hands.

“Ani, oppa.” She shook her head.

“You’re with someone else, aren’t you?” He could feel himself tighten his grip, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know why, but he felt his insides begin to burn. His heart felt like it was shattering, being burned and frozen at the same time.

She pulled her wrists from his grip. “Mianhae oppa.” She narrowed her eyes slightly and shook her head. “I’m not with anyone else. I don’t plan on being with anyone else. I have a career!”

He wasn’t able to listen anymore, he pursed his lips tightly together and left. He was an idiot.

He knew he would always love her. There was no way he couldn’t. The thoughts running through his head made him wish he could take his heart out and make the pain stop.

She was right though; there was a six year between them. It could be a scandal issue if they were to ever become truly public.

He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to forget, his heart wanted to forget, but his mind kept reminding him and his wounded heart that he would never forget her. He would never let the memory of her smile, her scent, or her kiss leave his mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her in person, yet something about her told him that it was her.

It had been a couple years since the break up. He still felt pains when he thought of her. Sometimes, he’d watch an F(x) video just to remember her face or hear her voice. His hyungs and dongsaengs thought it was weird, but he didn’t care.

Maybe it was the way she ordered her coffee; it may have been what she ordered that caused him to stop reading. When he turned around, he saw that she was alone; the F(x) girls weren’t with her.

“J-Jinri?”

She turned around at the sound of her name - her real name - and made him laugh slightly at the whipped cream she had gotten on her nose. He laughed once more as she went cross-eyed watching him wipe the substance off of her nose.

“Annyeong Changsun-oppa.” She smiled slightly and tilted her head to the side.

He smiled, happy to hear her - happy to see her. “What brings you here?”

She laughed. “Coffee, silly.” She grinned, putting a little bit of her whipped cream on his cheek.

It felt too familiar for him; it was killing him. “So, how have you been...?”

“Lonely...” She pouted playfully, sipping her coffee. She stood on her tip-toes and spoke into his ear. “I told you I never planned to be with anyone else...” She murmured.

He stiffened slightly at her sudden closeness and then smiled softly, wrapping his arms around her. “I didn’t think-”

“Oppa, you never think.” She laughed.