Yoochun sheds a lot of tears.  There have been too many times to count, too many events he’s broken down at to remember, too many concerts he’s sobbed through songs at – There have been happy tears and sad tears, tears from exhaustion or tears from pain.  There have been moments that he’s been unable to stop the tears, other moments that the tears just won’t come no matter how much it feels like they should be falling. 

He doesn’t mind the tears, even when they may sometimes be an embarrassment.  He learns to wear them proudly, learns to never hide them away from the people that matter most.  He doesn’t overcome all the insecurity and vulnerability that crying places upon his shoulders, but he learns to deal with the discomfort and the fear.  He becomes stronger as time moves forward, but he never stops shedding tears.  Especially in those moments, where everything is right, and he can shed tears for others not just himself.  

When Yunho gets stressed out and overworked, and feels run-out from constantly trying to please everyone else around him.  When he gets so caught up with trying to master the dance moves, trying to make sure that everyone masters them as well, forgetting to eat or sleep properly.  When he gets homesick because being in a place, surrounded by people that react and think and talk differently than him isn’t always easy, sometimes he loses himself in the crowds and just wonders whether he’s floating, or falling, or flying.  As the leader he has so many more expectations circling him, suffocating him, surrounding him and squeezing him until there’s nothing left to take away.  During those times Yoochun sheds tears for Yunho, because he’s too strong and has too many people shooting glances his way to breakdown, so Yoochun breaks down for him, sobbing uncontrollably as his body shakes and shivers with the pain that feels sometimes all consuming.

When Jaejoong is constantly dragging himself from schedule to schedule, sleepy eyed and slow moving.  When he lacks the energy, or the drive, or the skill to master the dance moves instantly and correctly, so he spends countless more hours trying to play catch up.  When he needs a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on – When he loses himself in thoughts and memories and what-ifs.  When he spends what little free time he has feeding everyone else, taking care of everyone else, worrying over everyone else.  When he can’t sleep at night, tossing around with endless worries circling his mind.  When the emotions become to much, and he’s lost and he’s confused and he’s scared – but dares not trouble his younger members with his pain, instead hiding it away and burying it deeper within himself.  Jaejoong won’t allow the tears to fall, because he’s the oldest, because they all look up to him so much – And so Yoochun will silently shed tears for Jaejoong, taken on the dreaded nickname of cry-baby instead, saving his hyung with his calmness, pulling away all the darkness and taking it on his own shoulders instead.

When Junsu pushes and pushes and pushes towards perfection, exhausting himself to the point of sickness sometimes.  When he struggles to be funny, struggles to be perfect, struggles with the cute image that he can’t shake or the strain to keep emotions at bay during a performance.  When he tries to live up to his hyungs expectations, continues running in fast forward because he never wants to be left behind.  When he secludes himself with worry and tries to block out how the teasing sometimes causes slight pain.  Junsu won’t cry all the time, won’t cry a lot of the time, because he never wants to cause more trouble to his hyungs, doesn’t want to be a burden, doesn’t want to show weakness – Yoochun sheds tears for him, for his struggle and his innocence, and the beauty that he truly possesses.

When Changmin has to struggle through being the baby, through being the youngest of them all, through the changes to his body, his voice, his image.  When he can no longer be the cute baby of the group, and then when it comes time that he no longer wants to be viewed as cute at all.  When he struggles to keep up, struggles to learn and grow and just be a part of something that seems to big for him sometimes.  When he silently worries about his hyungs, and worries about himself.  When he obsesses over his health, but also is always worrying about his hyungs health as well.  When he is constantly portrayed and viewed in a way that breaks his young heart, and makes him want to curl up and just cry.  Yet he won’t shed those tears, because he’s already got enough weighing down on him that he doesn’t need another label added to his list, and so instead Yoochun will cry for him – shedding the tears of a youth not fully lived, the tears of growing pains and emotions that sometimes feel out of control.

So, Yoochun cries for them all – in anger, in bitterness, in defeat, in sadness, in happiness, in relief, in love, in heartbreak, in faith, in loss – a constant circle that is never ending, and never does he question why no one cries for him.  Because this is his place, this is what he can give to them – shedding the tears they dare not shed, crying during the times they really wish they could, sobbing when everything is overwhelming and pulling them away from their own misery to focus on something bigger, something brighter9, something more.  And even when the tears fall for them in sadness, he still feels a sense of happiness, and rightness with the world, their world.