Winter's Letter to Yeji

Tagalog | English

May 25, 2023

Hi Yeji, naglalakad ako ngayon pabalik sa bahay kasi binigay ko sayo yung book ko to cheer you up and yung balutan na din haha thank you sa pagpapahiram. Today, sabay tayong kumuha nung ID natin sa IT building at nilibre mo ako ng breakfast and lunch. I really hoped our 5-hr meal talk made you happy at hindi natabunan nung bad news sa school.

Sorry if ‘di nakatiis na hindi ka puntahan. Sabi mo kasi, malungkot ka. Mag-isa ka lang ngayon sa apartment mo kasi diba, umuwi sina Yuna sa Sto. Tomas. I just don’t want you to be alone with your thoughts especially after the news earlier. But, kagaya ng sabi ko kanina, tiwala lang! :) Magpaparemovals pa naman sina sir eh. Don’t lose hope, okay? Read that book! I bought that for you, the lines are good and I thought they might cheer you up.

Anyway, today was supposedly the last day na iisipin kita this way. Sabi ko, after today and before June, dapat na-let go na kita. Dapat tapos na lahat ng romantic attachments ko sayo. Hahahahhaa sinabi ko din to last year nung narealize kong crush na crush na kita pero di naman natuloy yung uncrush schedule ko dapat nung June 2022. 

Maybe I am writing this kasi hindi ko nagawang masabi lahat ng mga gusto kong sabihin sayo at pinlano kong sabihin.

Sorry, Yeji but I lied to you again.

I lied when I said na kasama ko yung friends ko sa pagdadala ng balutan at book sayo. ‘Di ko sila kasama, sinabi ko lang yun kasi alam kong ayaw mong magisa akong naglakad nang ganung kalayo, plus, baka maweird-an ka.

I lied everytime I said na ayaw kong umuwi kasi ‘di ko alam ang gagawin ko sa bahay etc. tuwing kasama kita. ‘Di lang talaga ako umuuwi agad kasi gusto kitang kasama. 

I lied when I made it seem like I didn't have deep feelings for you when I knew since the day that I had the courage to confess to you na hindi lang yun basta crush. I guess it was the only course of action that was left for me to make you stay. Nalungkot ako nung lumayo ka, I felt bad. 

I had maaaaany crushes. Alam mo naman yun, naging comfortable na din kasi akong sabihin sa’yo yung mga naging crush ko but at the end of everything, you remain superior. ‘Di ko alam. ‘Di ko maexplain. ‘Di ko mapoint out yung reason why I can't get enough of you. I feel hurt with just the idea of you being sad kaya ‘d