Myungsoo breathed in, taking in the oxygen humans relied so much on. He had always found it pathetic that so many species were dependant on such useless things. Air, water, food – they were really just useless things. Maybe if humans didn’t have to waste all this time on such useless needs, they would have more time to fix their systems. To fix their beliefs. He scoffed. Humans were such inferior beings. He placed his newest doll on the top, right next to the doll she had been holding. Soon, he decided, he would need a new shelf.

He felt something dark clutch his heart. It couldn’t be anything physical - his heart didn’t need to beat to keep him alive. Only strong emotions took him. He had liked Tiffany’s presence while it lasted. It was insightful and interesting. It had been exciting and interesting. There was nothing left of it now.

That was one thing he envied from humans - their ability to find keep each other’s presence.

They could stay with each other for as long as they wanted. They could experience so many beautiful emotions. They could live without any actual significant worries. Their concerns, in comparison to his own, were of no value. They were nothing.

Myungsoo walked slowly towards the window, glancing out of it as he observed his neighbourhood. Having an apartment in a popular junction had its advantages. He watched the people passed by; all completely oblivious of what was going on under their noses. They concerned themselves in silly tributes between each other, but they never had anything to worry about. Eventually they would die. Eventually everything would stop.

Not demons though. Nothing stopped.

Pain didn’t stop. Sorrow didn’t stop. The grief and blame never stopped. There was no where to escape too. He laughed distantly. It was devoid of any emotion. It turned to a smile, which slowly faded into crying. He missed the feel of someone waiting for him. Someone loving him. Someone wanting him.

Ai.

He remembered the way she would smile so awkwardly at him. The way she would light up his world without even knowing it. He remembered, for just a mere second, what it was like to be human. Before everything happened. Before everything fell apart. Before she died, before he traded his soul. He wanted to be an angel and watch over her. He couldn’t just die and leave her alone. Dying in that car crash when he was 15 – why couldn’t he have been somewhere else? Leaving Ai alone wasn’t right. He traded his soul, almost immediately, to be an angel. A guardian angel. Watching over Ai.

Forever with her. Forever by her side.

Myungsoo wouldn’t have been sad if Ai had found another lover. They were young and in love, but he had figured she would’ve found someone different. She would’ve found a nice boy who could treat her right, and have a family. Ai could be a grandmother and completely forget that Myungsoo ever existed.

But life wasn’t that easy.

Ai never really got over Myungsoo. She went to his grave everyday for one year, and went annually after that - even when she was ninety and crippled. She never looked for another guy, and remained single for her whole life. She kept all of Myungsoo’s things - every belonging, gift and photo she could savage. She sat next to empty tables and desks, constantly leaving a belonging in honour of him. Ai kept Myungsoo alive, even when she was on the brink of death.

Everyone thought Ai was crazy, but Myungsoo knew she wasn’t. She missed him and loved him, way too much for her own good. She couldn’t get over him, so she kept him alive. People tried to drag her away, to keep her out of the past - they even tried to pretend Myungsoo never existed. But Ai couldn’t leave. Ai couldn’t leave the past.

‘Ai,’ He whispered softly, ‘Ai.’

He touched his face. Tears seemed to fall down. He hadn’t cried in awhile. He believed it had been years.

‘Hello Myungsoo, you’ve done a good job.’

Myungsoo turned around, looking directly at his baby-faced master. Sungjong smiled politely, observing his newest doll. He took it off the shelf, every feature. He smirked as he closed his eyes, absorbing all the energy from the doll. When he was finished, he turned to Myungsoo, walking towards him.

‘You’ve been a good boy,’ Sungjong smiled, Myungsoo’s cheek. ‘I think you deserve a reward.’

With a twist of distortion, Myungsoo watched as Sungjong’s face and form changed. He frowned, looking in curiosity. Mesmerized, he watched as the face twisted into a face Myungsoo knew too well – Ai.

‘This is a sick joke,’ Myungsoo said, looking at Sungjong/Ai who smiled back at him.

‘This is your reward,’ He said in a voice which greatly resembled Ai’s, ‘A night with your loved one.’

‘I don’t want it then,’ Myungsoo said, pushing the figure away. ‘You’re not Ai. You look like her and sound like her, but you can’t be her.’ You can’t be Ai.

‘Well you’re ungrateful,’ His form morphed back to its original state. Gently, Sungjong gave Myungsoo a hug, biting into his neck. Myungsoo cursed, groaning as he felt his blood being drank by his hungry master. Many humans found the process satisfying - as if it was a drug. Myungsoo could only feel the pain.

‘I own you,’ Sungjong growled, ‘I own you, just like I own all of them.’

Myungsoo knew Sungjong had others on his leash. Woohyun, Hoya, Sunggyu, Dongwoo and Sungyeol – he knew all their names. Myungsoo didn’t know how the others had fallen under Sungjong, but he had enough stories to keep him from wondering. He didn’t pay much attention to the other slaves. Myungsoo had other things to worry about.

Sungjong left, paying no attention to his weak, bleeding slave. Without turning back, he waved, a smirk playing in his voice. ‘Bye bye, Myungsoo. I’ll see you later.’

Myungsoo dropped to his knees, tears rolling down his flawless face. He hadn’t cried in awhile. Sungjong took blood from him a lot, but the best reaction ever given was usually a wince. Myungsoo didn’t understand what made him cry. He was strong. Strong people didn’t cry.

A memory flashed in his mind. It was back from when he was human.

You know, it’s okay to be weak, he remembered telling Ai, its okay to cry, it’s okay to feel sad. Strong people are weak, but they accept it. That’s what makes them strong.

It was a pathetic human statement, yet it seemed to apply so much to him. He missed being human. His demon mind gave him a better insight, but his human mind could touch all feelings.

He felt a flash of humanity, just as he always did when his emotions got to strong. A transparent image of Ai appeared in front of him, blurry and fake. Myungsoo didn’t care. He didn’t push down his humanity this time. He decided to see where it would take him. Reaching out to what seemed like Ai, he smiled gently.

‘Ai,’ He whispered, ‘Ai.’

Ai didn’t respond though. With a swift movement she seemed to disappear. It was nothing but a trick of his mind. Only humans did that. Myungsoo never doubted the humanity he had, but he had always wondered if he was more demon or human. Before, without hesitation, he would have said he was more demon. But now, in the midst of crying and hallucinating, he wondered if his human side was more powerful.

Maybe Ai would know, but Ai didn’t care what he was. She just wanted him – every part of him.

Even the demonic, murdering, hungry side.

Myungsoo was a monster hidden behind flawless features. It was a deadly, successful façade, but it often made him feel pathetic. He was a bad person – he was the kind of bad person he had warned Ai about. The kind who take others, the kind who use others. He had never wanted to think he was hurting people like Ai, but now even he couldn’t deny it.

He was wrecking people, and not just by killing them.

He was tearing people out of their lives, taking them away from loved ones and family. He was tearing everyone who cared for the deceased one. He was doing what Fate had done to Ai. He was killing people. Slowly, each death physically caused the mental death of many. It was like the aftermath.

Myungsoo was never good with maths.

He stood up with trouble, staggering towards the window. There, he stuck his head out, observing the sky. It was endless, blue and cloudy. There was something undeniably beautiful about it, though Myungsoo did not know what. It seemed like happiness. It seemed like Ai.

He remembered one time when his feelings had gone too far. He hadn’t been stable. He was crazy, delusional and uncontrollable. Everyone had tried to subdue him, tried to stop him, but his emotions were too strong. That’s when Sungjong came in. A demon from hell entering heaven. Myungsoo remembered how the boy had skipped in so innocently.

‘You can have a choice!’ He smiled, ‘I can take your memories away, or you can be a good little boy. Which one is it?’

Myungsoo remembered shrieking, panicking as Sungjong got closer and closer. As the boy did, however, Myungsoo could feel himself calm down. Compulsion was what Sungjong had used, Myungsoo now knew.

‘I can take your memories of her,’ He smiled warmly, ‘You’ll never feel pain again.’

Myungsoo remembered jerking; speaking calmly once the shock had passed. ‘I’ll never let you near my memories.’

Sungjong had chuckled, ‘We’ll see how it is in a year.’

Myungsoo had thought Sungjong was being stupid, but now he was starting to realise the benefits of removing Ai from his memories. There would be no pain, no sorrow, no grief. He could live and kill without worries. He wouldn’t need to hurt. He was starting to consider the offer. Maybe without Ai, without feeling love, Myungsoo would forget his human side.

He would stop attaching himself to trivial things.

He hadn’t been sure then, but he was pretty sure now what he wanted to do. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. No more Ai meant no more pain. It was the perfect equation. He wondered if Sungjong’s offer was still available.

But then again, there was still a small side of him refusing to let go of Ai. He wasn’t sure – was it better to love and lose or to have never loved at all?