Jinyoung’s POV

I’m finally allowed to go exploring in the hospital, well I’m allowed to move around my room. I’m not confined to my bed anymore. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here for, but I do miss everyone. The schedules are also getting in the way of their visiting times, so I take it upon myself to look after Marisa.

Every day I take it upon myself to visit her room and sit by her in case something happens. Today is no different.

“Hey, Marisa,” I greet her as I walk into her room today, too. Like always, there is no response. “Are you okay?” I pull up a chair and sit by her bed. “I’m still…not okay,” I say with a gentle laugh. I point to the bandage on my head. “This thing is still here. I’ll probably have to wear a hat for a long time because I think that they might have shaved my head. I really hope you’ll wake up soon.” I grab her hand and hold it tight. It’s probably one of the only times that I’ll be able to do this. “You have to wake up soon,” I plead with her. I feel tears start to form in my eyes as I look at her just lying there completely helpless. I wish that there was something I could do to help her. “Everyone misses you, we all want to see your smile, hear your crazy comebacks, we all miss you, Marisa. Sungyeol misses you the most, your boyfriend, I hope you haven’t forgotten him. He spends every day in here with you wishing and praying for the same thing that everyone wants, for you to wake up and be alright.”

I feel tears coming down on my face and landing on her hand. I try to wipe them away, but they just keep coming. “I’m sorry,” I manage to say, “I’m sorry for all of the times that I’ve let you down. I’m sorry for putting you in a fake relationship that you didn’t want, I’m sorry for not protecting you enough. I’m sorry for not being a good boyfriend when I had the chance. I had every right to be dumped by you even though you weren’t actually my girlfriend. Most of all, I’m sorry for liking you.” I look at her lying there peacefully while I still wipe away my tears. “I’m sorry for being a coward and only having the ability to say this to you when you can’t even understand or hear me. I’m sorry for everything. Please wake up fast. I’ll become the best person ever to you, second best to Sungyeol.” I manage a small laugh at my attempt at a joke. “Please don’t leave me, Marisa.”

This is the first time that I’ve ever really confessed my feelings to a girl and the first time that the girl isn’t able to hear me. It’ll also probably be the first time that a girl rejects me. There are plenty of things that I’ve done before in life, but everything that I thought would never happen to me is happening with Marisa. Maybe that’s why I think that she’s so special to me. She’s the first girl that I was in a fake relationship with, the first girl that ever broke up with me, the first girl who I told my dream to, the first girl I ever walked home, the first girl who’s home I wanted to enter, the first girl who I told my real feelings to, and she will be the first girl to ever reject me.

I can’t blame her, though. I’ve realized my feelings for her too late in the game. I realized that I have feelings for her when she told me that she and Sungyeol were dating. I guess it is true that no one ever knows how important another person is until they’re gone. I’m not that cruel of a person to steal a girlfriend. I just wish that I realized these things before. so maybe I would have a chance with her, but it’s just wishful thinking, nothing else.

Myungsoo’s POV

I stand outside of Marisa’s room and see Jinyoung sitting by her bed. I decided to come today by myself without the other members, but I see Jinyoung sitting in there and I hear his tearful confession. So he really does like her, but he always mentions Sungyeol, which means that he must not want to take her from Sungyeol, right?

“Hey, Jinyoung,” I say entering with a happy face.

“Oh, hey,” he says quickly rubbing his eyes and trying to get rid of the tears that I knew he was crying. “What are you doing here at this time?”

“I just thought that I’d come and visit,” I say as I sit in another chair. I try not to say anything or show any signs that I was standing out of the room for too long. “Can I speak with you for a second?”

“Sure,” Jinyoung says nodding his head. “Do you want to go back to my room?”

“Sure,” I say as I get up off of the chair.

I follow Jinyoung to his room while he gets back into his bed and I pull up a chair. “What did you want to talk about?” he asks.

I once again debate in my mind about whether or not I should tell him about Seohyun’s involvement and about questioning him about Marisa. I guess it would be better for everyone if I just told him about Seohyun and if he just told someone about his feelings for Marisa. I’ve brought him back to his room, there’s no turning back now.

“Well,” I begin, “Seohyun still apparently isn’t in school.”

“That’s strange,” Jinyoung says looking at me, “I would’ve thought that she would have gone and then brought back work for me to do or something.”

“Yeah, well,” I say scratching the back of my head. “You see, Seohyun is currently checked into the hospital apparently.”

“This hospital?”

‘This hospital,” I confirm.

“Why is she here?”

“That part you may not like as much.”

“Why? It’s not like she’s been stalking me in the hospital, right?”

I give him an uneasy look, which he sort of reads into. “She hasn’t been stalking you that much, but she’s the reason that you’re in here,” I finally say. “She’s the reason that you and Marisa are in the hospital.”

“Marisa and I are in the hospital because of the accident,” Jinyoung starts out saying when it finally clicks. “No…no, there’s no possible way.”

“It’s true,” I tell him. “She’s the one behind all of it. I saw her the day that you woke up and I followed her to her room and she told me.”

“Why? Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s obsessed with you, Jung Jinyoung,” I tell him. “She doesn’t know what the word no means. She’s just been chasing you this whole time hoping that you’d go out with her.”

“I didn’t think she’d go to such measures as to hurting us,” Jinyoung says in disbelief. “I didn’t think that she would do such a thing.”

“Well she would, she did,” I tell him.

“What do you think would happen if I just abided by her wishes?” Jinyoung asks me randomly.

“What do you mean?” I ask not really able to understand what he’s trying to get at.

“What if I just let her become my girlfriend? Do you think she’ll stop harassing us and just leave us alone?”

“Jung Jinyoung, what has gotten into you? Is that head injury getting worse? What would ever make you think of something like that?”

“I just want all of this to stop. I want Marisa and Sungyeol to be happy together without having all of this drama because of me. I want them to be a happy couple,” Jinyoung says to me. “Marisa deserves a good relationship and I’m preventing that.”

The only thing I can do is just stare at Jinyoung. He must care for Marisa more than I expected. “Jinyoung-hyung, what do you think of Marisa?”

“Eh? Why do you ask?” he asks shocked at the statement.

“You like her, right? You like her a lot.” Jinyoung avoids looking at me in the eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know more than you think.”

“What are you talking about?” he asks suddenly interested.

“I know that originally, your relationship with Marisa was fake,” I finally confess.

Jinyoung just looks at me with stunned eyes. I’ve probably blown his mind.

Jinyoung’s POV

Myungsoo has to be joking, right? He couldn’t have possibly known that Marisa and I were in a fake relationship, he has to be joking. It’s either that or I’m crazy.

“W-w-what are you talking about?” I stammer.

“Your relationship with Marisa was fake,” he repeats. “I heard it.”

“You heard it? From where?” As far as I know, there’s really no one that said it aloud. Marisa and I only said it when people weren’t within earshot, when we were alone, or with the other B1A4 members. One of them couldn’t have said anything, right?

“I heard it from you,” Myungsoo says calmly.

“Me?” I ask pointing a finger at myself. How in the world would he have heard me say it? “When?”

“When you told Marisa not to fall for you.” So it was that day that he heard, but how in the world did he hear when Marisa and I were alone in the room. Myungsoo must see my puzzled face because he continues to talk. “I was coming to get you to ask if you wanted to play, but I saw Marisa going into your classroom. I thought she was cheating on you originally so I followed her, only to discover that you were in the room, too. I heard it all from outside of the classroom.”

“You were spying on me?” I ask him.

“Not spying, I thought she was cheating, but I was relieved to find out that it was only you she was talking to,” Myungsoo says attempting to clear things up. “But you like her now, right? You were just putting on a strong front, weren’t you?”

I can’t lie to this kid anymore, he knows everything. It’s not even like my members really know everything that’s going through my mind. True we have our talks, but our talks can only explain so much.

“I’m not going to do anything to Sungyeol, if that’s what you’re wondering,” I tell him.

“So then you do like her?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you didn’t deny it either.”

Myungsoo and I just stare at each other. He’s waiting for an answer about me liking Marisa and I’m not giving him one. “I’m not going to do anything to Sungyeol, so that should answer your question,” I repeat myself. “It doesn’t matter whether I like her or not. She’s Sungyeol’s girlfriend now so I shouldn’t interfere.”

“Are you really going to have Seohyun become your girlfriend, right?” he asks with a worried look.

In all honesty, I’m still considering it. I still think that everything will be somewhat better if Seohyun is my girlfriend. She’ll get her wish and stop with all of her nonsense. I should just abide by her wishes. Even if it’s not something that I want, if it’ll make the world peaceful for a little while, it’s at least worth a shot.

I look at Myungsoo again and it looks like he’s going to try to persuade me not to do it, to not talk with her and to not say something to her about allowing her to be my girlfriend.

“I have to,” I reply to him simply.

Myungsoo’s POV

Why does Jinyoung have to? What force is compelling him to have Seohyun be his girlfriend?

“You don’t have to,” I tell him. “She’s already planning on stopping.”

“But what if she doesn’t?” he ask. “What if things just get worse? We’re already at our limit. What can get worse than a hospital visit?” I have to admit that he’s true there. “If things get worse, I’m only going to feel more responsibility. I have to stop it now.”

I just look at him again. Why can’t he be more reasonable? I understand that he wants to protect Marisa, but he doesn’t have to do something that he doesn’t want to do. He could simply ignore her and we can all stand by him, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to budge from his decision.

“Just think it over some more,” I tell him.

“I have,” Jinyoung says. “I told Marisa before, but she thought that it wouldn’t solve anything, but I feel like I have to now. It’s my fault I’m like this,” he says gesturing towards the hospital bed. “It’s my fault that Marisa’s unconscious. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s Seohyun’s fault,” I tell him. “She’s the one that caused the accident.”

“But Seohyun is going after us because of me.”

“I guess if you want to, I’m not going to stop you,” I say getting off of my seat. “I have a schedule to attend. Shall I forewarn everyone about your plan?”

“If you wish,” Jinyoung says watching me as I head towards the door. “Actually, yeah,” he says nodding his head. “Tell them and tell them my reasoning. I don’t want them to have a heart attack when it gets around school. Then again, I have to think it over about whether or not I’m actually going to do it. I need to make a list,” he confesses. “But tell them about the plan and tell them not to tell Marisa any of it, even the fact that I’m considering doing it.”

“Okay,” I say nodding my head. I look at him one last time before I leave and I can only wonder what’s going on through his head right now. I get that he wants to protect Marisa, but is this taking it a bit too far?

I see Gongchan and Sandeul in the hallway coming to visit Jinyoung. I past them with a nod, but don’t say a word about the plan. Since they’re coming to visit Jinyoung, he can discuss it further with them, they are s after all. I just hope he doesn’t go through with it. I hope that he decides against dating Seohyun. It’ll just bring more stress to his life if he does decide to.

Jinyoung’s POV

“Hey, hyung,” Gongchan and Sandeul say as they enter the room.

“Oh, hey,” I say going to greet them. After Myungsoo left, I decided to look out the window a bit trying to clear my mind. Now that Gongchan and Sandeul are here, maybe they’ll be able to help me reach a decision.

“Was Myungsoo-hyung just here?” Gongchan asks pointing towards the door. I nod my head. “What did you guys talk about? He seemed to be thinking a lot.”

“Oh, nothing,” I say disregarding the subject. They sit down near my bed and we just stare at each other. “So how was school today?”

“Normal like always,” Sandeul says. “How’s the hospital been?”

“Normal like always,” I say repeating his words with a smile. “There’s not much going on, you know. It is boring here.”

“That’s why we come to visit you,” Gongchan says with a smile.

“And I’m totally thankful for that,” I say. Silence falls between us for a little while. I look at them once again. “What do you think about me dating Seohyun?” I randomly throw the question out there.

I see their shocked faces; they probably don’t know what’s gotten into me. “Has your head injury gotten to you?” Sandeul asks.

“No, it hasn’t,” I say shaking my head. “I’m serious. What’s your opinion of Seohyun?”

“Isn’t she the enemy?” Gongchan asks looking at me. “Aren’t we going against her?”

“Apparently she hasn’t been in school for the longest time,” Sandeul says.

I nod my head. “I know and I know the reason why, too.” They both look on with hopeful faces, waiting for me to tell them how I know. “She’s currently checked into the hospital.”

“I hope you mean the loony bin,” Gongchan says.

“No, in this hospital.”

“Why would she be checked in here?” Sandeul asks.

I take a deep breath. “She’s the one that caused the accident,” I confess.

“She caused the car accident?” Gongchan asks and I nod my head. “Then why do you still want to date her?”

“It’s not like I want to,” I tell them. “It’s just that I have to.”

“Why do you have to?” Sandeul asks.

“It might settle things down for a while, and it’s not like Marisa is my girlfriend,” I tell them. “She’s dating Sungyeol so what other choice do I have? I’m not going to get in the middle of their relationship. Plus, sitting here in the hospital alone, I’ve done plenty of thinking. Marisa doesn’t deserve someone like me; I should just move on and forget all about her.”

Sandeul and Gongchan can’t say a word. We just end up staring at each other not really able to do anything. Everyone is objecting to dating Seohyun just to settle things down a little bit, so does that mean that I shouldn’t do it?

“What about your plans for Christmas with Marisa?” Gongchan asks.

“I’ve given up on them,” I say plainly. “Everything regarding Marisa, I’ve given up on it. I’m letting her go.”

Myungsoo’s POV

“Hey,” I say after our schedule is finished to Sungyeol. We’re now riding back to the dorm. While we’re completing our schedule, Sungyeol will put up a barrier and block up everything personal, once we get into the van, though, he starts to break loose, especially about this accident situation. ‘When was the last time you talked with Jinyoung-hyung?” I ask out of curiosity.

“Not for a while,” he responds looking out the window. “Why?”

“I was just wondering.”

In all honesty, I think that Sungyeol should know how much Jinyoung is planning on giving up for him, just for his and Marisa’s sake with the hopes that they’ll be happy together. He should know, right, but if he and Jinyoung haven’t spoken since before the accident, then are they even really best friends anymore?

I look at Sungyeol. He still looks so down about Marisa because she hasn’t woken up yet, I guess she could be clearly classified as being in a coma. I can’t tell Sungyeol about Jinyoung, not yet. It’s not the right timing now.

Jinyoung’s POV

I stare into the darkness. Why is my head such a jumbled mess? Slowly but surely I’m going to give up on Marisa and let her live her life. I’m just a roadblock; I’m just something that’s preventing her from getting a better life. I can’t be by her side anymore and she can’t be mine.

I guess I must be going crazy. I’m acting as though Marisa and I actually dated in the first place. So I really have no right to do anything with her, she doesn’t deserve me and that’s final.

“Emergency units please go to room 619. Emergency units please go to room 619,” the announcer says over the loudspeaker.

It takes me a moment, but I finally realize that room 619 is Marisa’s room. Why are emergency units going there?

At that same moment, I hear the door to my hospital room open and I instinctively look over. What is happening to my world?

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Jinyoung tells everyone that he is going to give up on Marisa, what is his life going to be like now? Why were the emergency units going to Marisa's room? Will Myungsoo ever tell Sungyeol about the sacrifice that Jinyoung is making? Will Jinyoung decide to go out with Seohyun in hopes of settling things down?

Another chapter done, what's going to happen next? :D