PerryThePlatypus - Are You Up For The Challenge? (Review)
♪♪♪ Naeunnies Request Shop ♪♪♪ [Under Construction and Open]
Title (5/5)
Catchy! It brings out the mood of the story
Foreword and description (10/10)
The foreword makes people want to continue to read on especially for the phrase "Someone had to die... For one of them to win."
The description had a cliffhanger which made people curious of what is going to happen next , what will happen to hyoyeon will she be the one that died?
Appearance (8/10)
With the yellowish theme it gives the reader a "suspense mood"
However, when i first scroll down the page and saw the characters' photo ,its' actually too bright as the poster and the background has a darker color tone hence , since this is an story about survival , suspense and thriller i suggest you put photo that have a darker contrast
Storyline (15/20)
A recommendation is not to use korean language in your story .The reason is because there may be some people who don't understand korean when you write "Ne" or "wae" they might not know it means yes and why so it might disturb their mood while reading your story as they don't understand it.
In your story you did not clearly state if jaejoong is a normal people or a idol so while reading it I was confused
Creativity/Originality (10/15)
This story wasn’t really original or up to my taste (i'm the romance type), but I can definitely see the effort!
Story flow (3/5)
It flows smoothly first introducing the character then till what happen and to a cliffhanger making people excited to read the next chapter.However,too much cliffhanger will not be a good impact to the story so for the other chapters refrain from having too much cliffhanger
Grammar/Vocabulary/Spelling/Punctuation (18/20)
The spelling for chandalier should be chandelier
Grammar - fitted should be fit
Ending of the story (--5) [void]
Overall (8/10)
It's a good story although i've only read 2 chapters.
The reason why i only give you 8 marks is because there is still room for improvement for the upcoming chapters
Total score:(77/95)
This is all based on my opinon of course different people have different thoughts .So,what i've recommended you might not accept it but pls at least take it into consideration . :D
Remember to comment after you've collected your review and put the review somewhere in your story :)
Comments