I stared up towards the ceiling, eyes blurring from the tears that we slowly flowing from my eyes, creating wet streams that travelled down the sides of my face and reaching my damp pillow. My heart was pained, and I could feel pressure holding me down, not letting me go. Time. Had it stopped again? Am I stuck in this moment when I can’t think of anything else, but sadness and the anger that was slowly eating away my internal organs?

I haven’t slept for a day, or even a week. Differentiating between days was difficult, and days felt like months. Every second felt like another bag of sand was attached to my shoulders, weighing me down and pulling me back. My eyes were heavy, but all I could see with my eyes closed was you and our precious memories. Would I fall asleep like this again, filled with pain and sorrow? My mind replayed the scenes of the accident, over and over again. I slammed my hands over my forehead, attempting to clear the horrific memory, yet I once again, fail.

The dreadful flashbacks consumed my mind, as I stared blankly outside the window, hoping for a slight distraction, a miracle. Time started to travel faster, more efficiently, yet I remain haunted from those dark, somber times. Memories. All of our countless moments together, one by one, flew through my mind and made more tears well up in my already strained eyes. I could hear myself laughing – a sound which I haven’t heard for a long time.  I waited every night, dreaming for the day of your return, and also the day that I could allow myself to breathe again. But I knew that it was impossible, I had lost you forever.

Forever. The thought was new, and everything seemed so sudden. Just for a moment, everything felt so close, as if the event had just occurred the previous hour. I slouched in the corner of my room, as the overwhelming images flooded my mind.

Warmth crept down my forehead, as it ached and my vision blurred. As I pulled my shaking hand away from my head, I realised that it was dripping with bright crimson blood. I looked to my left, straining my neck in order to see over the bursted air bags. I could see his face, stressed from the increasing pain. Blood slid down Woohyun’s chin, as he panted heavily and breathed deeply through his nose. He seemed like he was in so much pain, but I couldn’t help but stare hopelessly.

The most beautiful day in my life had shattered before my very own eyes, crushing into microscopic pieces. Just hours before this, we were at his house, playing karaoke and video games. We cuddled, pecking each other gently on our cheeks, and teased jokingly and giggling. Constantly, he would even use his aegyo to make me laugh, and we sat across the room from each other, throwing air hearts. And that was when it began. He slowly pulled me from the chair, and into a standing position. He held my hand tightly, looking deeply into my eyes. I lost track of time, until he knelt down onto one knee without releasing his grip on my hand. His other hand reached into his back pocket, pulling out a small, red box covered in velvet.

I heard myself gasp, as I froze from the surprise. “Shana, will you marry me? I promise to love you forever, even when we’re old, with gray hair and no teeth. I promise to take care of you until the end, and protect you. Shana, will you?”

I looked at him, as a grin crept across my face and my heart fluttered against my ribcages, searching for the opportunity to jump of my chest. Feeling slightly light headed, I nodded at him, and braced myself for a tight, warm hug. He placed a hand on my chin, tilting my head up to face him, and pressed his lips onto mine. It started off gentle, his lips constantly leaving mine, so he could gently caress my nose, jaw line, and earlobes. Eventually, it had progressed into a deep, passionate kiss that made my cheeks grow bright pink.

Once he pulled away, I could feel myself breathing heavily as I kept my eyes locked in his. As if nothing had happened, he led me to the door, murmuring “Let’s go for ice cream! I want chocolate!” As random as the idea seemed, I followed him, and stepped onto the wooden steps of his porch.

I crawled into his car, buckled up my seatbelt, and made myself feel comfortable. The car smelt like him, like home. The car ride felt like it went on for hours, as we paused at the millionth traffic lights. His foot stepped down on the brakes, yet the car no longer responded and drove through the red light. Fear shot through me, as I turned my head to the right, past Woohyun’s seat, and saw the shape of a canary yellow car, gradually moving closer to us.

My lower jaw dropped, as the car had driven straight into the middle of the car, and crushing the insides. As if on cue, Woohyun turned to face me, and muttered “If we don’t survive this together, I want you to know that I love you, and that we will be together forever, no matter what happens. What’s important Is that I will always love you, even if anything bad happens to one of us, and I hope you will always remember this.”

He leaned in to kiss me one more time, stronger that the previous, before we heard the horrific sound out a busted car engine – and the car slowly demolishing Woohyun’s door. His hand held onto mine, a tight grasp that would never let go. I could see Woohyun flinch in pain, as the car had reached his body, breaking every bone. The grip on my hand tightened, and I could tell that the flow of blood in my hand was stopped. Woohyun’s face was strained and pale, as he resisted the urge to let the tears flow down his cheeks. Of course, he wouldn’t let anybody see his tears, ever.

The hand that was once gripping in mine, suddenly loosened as I saw blood dripping down the side of his head, and from his gaping mouth. His eyes fell shut, and his head cocked to the side, no longer responding. I felt sobs crawling up my throat, as warm rivers of tears trailed down the sides of my face and onto my neck. I pressed Woohyun’s hand to my face, as black dots surrounded my vision and I was no longer aware of what happened after.

Days and nights passed after this, and time only dragged on longer. I’m trying hard to erase those burning memories from my heart, but I still can’t forget you. Every now and then, I think “what would have happened if we never left the house? What if we had stayed back and watched a movie?” My tears have stopped, and I could find myself laughing to myself once in a while, thinking about the happy moments. Our moments.

Although there’s nothing more I can say to you, and I can no longer hear your voice, our love will never change.

If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again.

AUTHOR'S NOTE ;

So like, I found this on my computer a little earlier and though "Why don't I upload this?"

and omfg this was so horrible. it was one of those old stories that I'd written before my AFF days ;A;

anyway, i hope i get some feedback on how to improve <3