🍉

I. Why she disappeared. 

 

2021.02.17

It’s one thing after another when Jimin’s life began to initiate a 360-degree turn.

 

She remembers the flashing lights, illuminating around the arena. She remembers the lively chants of what seemed like a mix of her name and a few rants about wanting more of her presence in the future shows. She remembers breathing freely because this was her dream and it’s all coming into reality.

 

Yet suddenly, the lights began to dim. Jimin is stuck on the stage with a disheartening black ocean surrounding her field of view and everyone is now booing in unison. Her chest tightened as the echoes of their voices suffocated her like crazy.

 

She forcefully opens her eyes, gasping against the air. It was one of those dreams again.

 

Kneading her temple, Jimin led herself to the kitchen for her usual morning chamomile tea. She definitely needed this today. 

 

She glances over two large suitcases left of the doorway. Takes a mental note of things that’s inside in case she forgot something in this apartment. Looks around, already missing the presence of Faux and Lenny, her Scottish fold cats. They were dispatched earlier, about a week or so. They probably miss her too now. 

 

A sudden ring emanated from her pockets, cutting her from her trance.

 

Jimin sighs, taking out the phone to her hand as she’s met with a string of messages. 

 

Minjeongie: Hey, Jimin. I’m gonna make my way to the airport now

 

Minjeongie: I made sure everyone knew that I’m having a flight today. No paps will ever notice you were even there. ;)

 

Jimin smiles. 

 

JM: Minjeong, you really didn’t have to.

 

Minjeongie: No take backs. Besides, you’ve been into too much lately. Clear your mind and just take your time. Your fans will understand.

 

JM: Do I still even have some at this point?

 

Jimin laughs to herself. 

 

JM: I think the whole world hates me now.

 

Minjeongie: I don’t. 

 

Minjeongie: Well, I used to..

 

Minjeongie: But that’s just because we’re always in competition with each other! You’re still the best artist out there, Jimin. Never think otherwise just because of some stupid fabricated narrative.

 

Jimin felt the tension on her shoulders easing. 

 

JM: Thanks, Minjeong. I’ll be there in five.

 

Trending Worldwide

 

#YuKarinaIsOverParty

 

897.6k Tweets

 

HOT TOPIC: Yu Karina’s fraudulent tactics on sweeping the Grammys revealed. Singer-songwriter’s celebrity friends Kim Chaehyun and Park Jongseong leaked a phone call recording of Jimin talking about dominating the industry, and it leaves everyone baffled! 

 

NOCTURNAL vocalist Lee Jeno, singer-songwriter Yu Karina’s Ex-boyfriend, adds fuel to the fire. “She ruined my career. In fact, she might also ruin everyone else’s at this point if we don’t stop her first.”

 

A snake in sheep’s clothing: Yu Karina’s alleged flings with different men while she was in her current relationship with NOCTURNAL’S Lee Jeno: Was he truly only a rebound?

 

Is this really the death of her career? “ RIP Yu Karina, 2000-2021 mural on New York walls getting viral”

 

Even though Jimin’s team had made sure to deny every single accusation against her, what was the point?

 

If almost a million people are celebrating as if they had truly waited for this moment in their lives, how the hell do you take all that in?

 

It’s not like Jimin had an indestructible armor—yes, she admittedly thinks she did at some point. She’s gone through a lot of bull already. It was totally normal for someone who was the world’s most favorite singer and artist ever. She’s built her whole belief system on wanting to appease everyone that she overlooked the other factors. In this case, the one about putting too much trus t in everybody.

 

Jimin couldn’t care less if these baseless rumors and issues were insinuated by anonymous freaks that she doesn’t even have time to tend to. But when it’s someone close and dear to you, she would rather just choose to have the former. 

 

Her phone rings again, and she’s inside the plane this time. Her eyes lit up as soon as she came across the header of the sender, immediately pressing play on the sent voice message.

 

“Hi, sweetie. I know you hated receiving phone calls so I’m sending you this instead. We hope you’re doing alright right now. Faux is kind of being a little jerk because she misses you.” She hears strained meowing from the distance, followed by a gentle laugh. “ Your dad and I will surely welcome you back with your favorite hotteok, mmkay? Have a safe flight, sweetpea. We’ll be waiting for you.”

 

At times like this, when the pilot finally announces their departure, Jimin frets. She always needs someone to hold her hand when this happens and yet somehow, the simple act of hearing her mother’s voice was enough to soothe her as the plane eventually lifted off. 

 

It seems they were right when they said that Faux missed her too much. Said cat is now snuggled between her arms, much to Lenny’s presence who wouldn’t even spare Jimin a glance. Typical cat duo dynamic behavior. 

 

She finds solace in the outskirts of town. Having to give her parents their very own beach house was totally a good idea at all.  

 

Though, Jimin admits it—she’s falling apart. She initially thought that none of this would ever work at all. It already happened, and there was no point in reversing everything back. 

 

She stares at the screen for a while. She had been doused with black ink, markings of Fraud, Liar, Manipulative , and  written all over her body. She had fallen into several traps, thinking to herself that it is her fault, that it’s the end. 

 

But it isn’t. Deep down, Jimin thirsted for redemption. She foresees that she will rise again, only at the right moment. She’ll allow them to prevail. For now.

 

With a quiet sigh, Jimin archived every single post she has on all her socials, replacing her profiles with nothing but black. In one click of a button, YuKarina11 withdraws from the world, and Yu Jimin will do what it takes to build herself again.

 

She will bounce back. 

 

II. You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.

 

2021.05.23

There’s nothing calmer than the ambience of the sea waves and the perfect spot in her aunt’s cafe for her to enjoy her morning. Jimin thinks this is enough.

 

“I’d appreciate it if you’d hurry a little, please?”

 

Or so she thought.

 

Jimin might’ve stared a little too much at the figure. She sips on her macchiato as she hurries down the train of her thoughts because that black hoodie seemed to be familiar…

 

Until the said figure turned around and the first thing that happened was that their eyes met in an instant. Jimin flinched, averting her gaze and chanted a mantra in her head, hoping that they didn’t notice—

 

“Karina Yu?” 

 

Jimin internally cussed. She isn’t the type to, but really, way to think that hanging out at her aunt’s cafe would mark her safe from anyone that reminds her of the outside world. 

 

And worse, that anyone we’re talking about is one of Jimin’s unresolved dilemmas about her indistinct uality.

 

There stood, in all her spellbinding glory, Giselle Uchinaga with her brown locks and her all-so-familiar Chrome Hearts hoodie that she was always addicted to. 

 

Jimin feels like she was taken back to that one night at the Met Gala afterparty, and it makes her sick.

 

“Oh. Not in the mood to talk, I guess?”

 

“N-no, I’m just—” Wow. She did not just choke out a response.

 

Giselle’s lip curved a little. “Surprised to see you here. It feels like years since we’ve last seen each other. Met Gala, right?”

 

Jimin wants to shrink. She forces a smile, “Yeah. Met Gala.”

 

“Oh, well,” Giselle clears , gently pulling the chair across Jimin. “Mind if I?”

 

Jimin had every right in her to refuse. Instead, she’s hopelessly captivated by the brunette’s eyes that she mindlessly nods, regretting it after a second. Damn it.

 

So there goes Jimin’s quandary—stuck at a table with the ever-so-charming actress as they indulge in their morning coffee. The silence ensued for a while, so Jimin sighs, placing her cup on the surface.

 

“Are we playing the silence game now?”

 

Giselle turns to her, eyes blinking rapidly. “Ah, I’m sorry. I thought you didn’t want to talk?”

 

Jimin pauses, crossing her arms and leaning her back on the chair. “You shouldn’t always be going straight to conclusions, Miss Uchinaga.”

 

“Yeah, I figured.” Giselle cheekily grins. (Jimin thinks it’s ing cute. Wait what?)

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Filming.” Giselle blows her cup. “Well, kinda. I ditched this morning’s schedule. I felt pissed. You?”

 

Jimin raised a brow. “What do you mean, me?”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Jimin drowns into a trance. Does she have any idea? She’s world famous Hollywood actress Giselle Uchinaga, for god’s sake! There’s no way she doesn’t know, right? 

 

“You know why.” Jimin mumbled.

 

Giselle tilts her head, confused. “I’m pretty sure I don’t, that’s why I’m asking you.”

 

Jimin locks her jaw. There’s absolutely no way! 

 

Though, it looked like she genuinely had no idea. Might as well just take advantage of it, Jimin guesses.

 

“Preparing for a new album.” Jimin finally responds, earning a short “Oh” from the actress. Jimin began to feel bad for lying. Well, half-truth, she thinks. It’s not like she’s escaping the songwriting wormhole anyway. And if it helps her forget all this ruining-her-career fiasco, then so be it.

 

“That’s great to hear. Anything about it that I should look forward to?” 

 

Great. Now Jimin has to come up with more make-believe concepts. Before she could respond, Giselle’s phone blasted a ring, and she scurried to pick up the call in a flash.

 

“Huh. Seems like Director Kang is really fuming at me now. I think I have to go.” Giselle finishes her coffee as she shoots Jimin an apologetic smile. 

 

“Great! Good luck with uh, whatever you’re filming” Jimin nods, dismissing their conversation. 

 

“As you are with the songs. Maybe tell me more when we meet again?”

 

Jimin blinks. “We’re on a big island. You can’t possibly just meet me like that once more.”

 

And there goes the actress with her annoying(ravishing) smirk. She put the hood over her head, inserting her phone back in her pocket. “I thought the Karina Yu believed in fate? Wrote stuff about it as well. Pretty sure it’ll work wonders for us too.“

 

It’s only a matter of time before Jimin finds a distinct napkin on the table. She scoffs and rolls her eyes upon seeing the strings of numbers written all over it.

 

Xxxxxxxxx -talk to me :) 

 

Ugh. So annoying.

 

III. You did a number on me,(but honestly, baby, who’s countin’?)

 

21.09.21

Once the elevator landed with a ding, Jimin held her phone to her face as she hovered through the notes app with rapidity. 

 

“Something wrong, sweetpea?” Her mother asks as they head inside one of the mall’s boutiques. 

 

“Just some song lyrics popping in my head. Happens a lot lately too.”

 

“Isn’t that great? At least you’re still in your game.”

 

“Well, except for the fact that it’s about someone I’m really irked at.”

 

“And this someone we’re talking about is?”

 

As they turned to a specific aisle, Jimin could just fall to the floor and expect for it to swallow her whole. 

 

Black meets brown eyes. Jimin, as expected, was the first to turn away. She could feel the -eating grin on the other party’s face. 

 

“Karina. Nice to see you again! Mrs. Yu, as well.”

 

How is it that in a matter of four months, their paths have crossed again?

 

Fate , Jimin’s subconscious whispered, yet she shuns it with a light shake of her head.

 

“Would it be fine if you join us tonight for dinner?” Her mother’s voice pulls her back to reality.

Her ears rang upon registering what she had just said. 

 

“Mom!”

 

“What? She said she’s on vacation. I’m sure she has time to spare. Catch up with each other, will you?”

 

“But–”

 

“I’d be honored to join. Especially if it’s an invite from one of the Yus.” Giselle manages to cast a wink on her face, and Jimin looked like she didn’t have any choice, really.

 

So here she is, on the dinner table with Giselle to her right. Geez, what is it with them and tables nowadays?

 

Jimin watched silently, toying the legumes with her fork. 

 

“Hey, you’re not finishing that?” She feels a light nudge on her elbow. 

 

“I’m uh, full. I think I took too many servings.”

 

Giselle was looking at her with worry in her eyes. Jimin wonders why the actress was so concerned and then it hit her as she averted her gaze to her plate.

 

The food was nearly touched. Jimin swallows a lump in , welcoming the uncomfortable surge of her wanting to throw up all of a sudden. Excusing herself out of the table, she heads straight to her recording room as she slams the door shut, leaving the others baffled.

 

“I’ll go and talk to her.” Giselle offers as soon as Jimin’s mother stands up, and she immediately nodded in approval.  

 

Three short knocks were heard from the door. Jimin scurries to find a perfect lie. “I’m okay, mom! It’s… I just thought of a really good melody. I needed to put it out here quickly.”

 

“Oh? Mind If I listen, then?” She freezes, not expecting the voice that registers from the other side. 

 

Jimin turns the knob and lets her in. 

 

“Sorry about making a scene earlier. You probably think I’m a weirdo for suddenly disappearing like that.”

 

“No, it’s fine. I was just really worried. I triggered it, didn’t I?”

 

Jimin looks at her. Giselle genuinely wanted an answer. 

 

She nods, quite hesitant. “Yeah…”

 

“I should be the one apologizing, then. I’m really sorry. I was too late to realize.”

 

“How did you..?”

 

Giselle softly grins.“I’ve had one of those, too..”

 

Jimin’s heart almost sank. She hates that she’s going through it, sure, but she hates it more when someone she knows has experienced the same. It’s not everyday you hear someone admit that they’ve got an eating disorder. It always happens gradually, unknowingly even, and Jimin falls in the second spectrum. Who knew that everytime she would look at her paparazzi pictures finding out that she had at least a little belly flap would lead her to become so addicted to starving herself? Why is it so normal for her to consume little to no food and feel like it’s a reward for not being able to gain weight at the end of every month?

 

Her thoughts were disrupted as soon as Giselle’s hand squeezed her shoulder. “It’ll be alright. Not now, maybe. But soon.”

 

Jimin lowered her head, huffing a soft hum. “Thanks, Giselle. I’m doing fine now, though. If you’re still worried.”

 

Giselle chuckles, “You always worry me. We really haven’t talked this much since… yeah.”

 

There’s a panging guilt hitting Jimin’s chest. She acknowledges it soon enough, reaching out for Giselle’s arm as she squeezed it in return. 

 

“I know. I stopped talking to you after that night. I was a jerk. I know I would sound stupid for explaining but I’ve got a thousand eyes, millions—even, watching my every move. I was just so scared of what'd come when everyone would know what happened to us that time. On top of all, I was selfish and a prude that it costed our friendship. I’m sorry, Aeri . I regret everything I did, and I’m willing to make it up to you.” 

 

Jimin breathes, her lids becoming heavy and hot. She feels the touch of hands on her cheeks, thumbs gently caressing the sides of her head. Giselle—Aeri grinned, not an ounce of resentment painted on her face. “I’ve forgiven you even before you dropped my hand to escape the cameras back then. I’m glad you’re here, talking to me again. I appreciate your apology, Jimin .”

 

There’s a huge relief on Jimin’s sigh, her lips curving into a smile. 

 

“Though, you could make it up to me.” Jimin looks at Aeri in question. The actress taps on one of the studio speakers. “Play me a song?”

 

Jimin chuckled, shaking her head. “I.. wish I could, but I’m empty. I’ve barely worked on it, even. I don’t know if I ever will.”

 

Aeri places a hand on hers. “Hey, you’re Karina Yu. In the end, you’ll be able to make an awesome track. Take it from the top fan,” She points a thumb on herself, beaming a nonchalant smirk. 

 

Jimin rolled her eyes, couldn't hide the smile etching on her lips. “Sure, whatever you say.”

 

Even Jimin couldn’t believe it—how one night made up years of unfinished conversations and blurry lines. She made sure to talk the most with Aeri that night. She wishes this wouldn’t end any sooner. 

 

IV. This is why we can’t have nice things, darling!

 

2021 came by like a gush of the wind. Jimin found herself slowly regaining the ecstatic rush everytime her brain tells her Eureka! Here’s some song lyrics for you, self. 

 

So really, laying low from mostly everyone else worked wonders to her well-being. She’s got new hobbies—gardening was one of those that struck her the most. One would find it absurd that the Karina Yu spends her Tuesday evenings talking to little plants, releasing her emotions to them at times. She feels like an idiot for that, but if it heals her, why not? 

 

Jimin’s phone vibrates.

 

🖤: [sent an attachment]

 

🖤: I think Lenny would fit in this Turkey costume. LOL.

 

Oh, and there’s this resounding affinity with Giselle Uchinaga too. 

 

dusty: OMG you’re so right hahaha

 

dusty:  How much does it cost? 

 

🖤: About 47 bucks. Why, do you want it?

 

dusty: Yeah send me your CashApp, I’ll give you the money

 

Aeri doesn’t respond until a selfie of her holding the Turkey costume stuffed inside the Walmart bag popped into the conversation.

 

🖤: [sent an attachment]

 

🖤: Looks like I don’t have to ;)

 

dusty: Aeri! 

 

And instead of focusing on the item, Jimin’s eyes wandered off to look at the actress instead. Aeri was wearing her black off shoulder top along with rimmed glasses of the same color. She looks really good in the photo. 

 

For once, Jimin takes an interest in everything noir.. 

 

2022.02.17

 

“Are you good to go, Miss Yu?” One of the bodyguards asked her as the car stopped at the back of the venue.

 

Jimin fixed her sunglasses