a/n: So, i literally lost this fic... and..... kinda hate myself for that.. i tried to 're-gain' this fic but fail miserably... and since i have to finish what i started, so, yea... i do my best but i'm such a fail ;~~; it's disapointing.. but at least it's HeeWan right? right? :D

                 Siwan walked to cafeteria with a heavy step, it 3 days already since what happened at the cafeteria. He couldn’t stand it anymore, he couldn’t keep avoiding his friends. His eyes caught the sight of his friends at their usual table, both of them seemed talking about something, Minwoo laughed at what Dongjun said while Dongjun supporting his usual smirk. His heart clenched at the sight, half of it because he wished he’s there with them too, and half of it because he was afraid of how his friends would treat him after that... incident.

                But they are friends right? So he just took a deep breath and walked straight to them, with Dongjun’s black sweater on his right hand.

                Once he reached their table, he carefully placed the sweater on the table, right in front of the owner, he could tell that the situation between them still awkward from the sudden stop of Minwoo’s laugh. A few seconds of silence before he could finally say something,

                “You left your sweater that day... ” he said with head down.

                Minwoo starred at the small boy standing in front of their table before turned his head towards the youngest out of the three. He couldn’t decide what to say or whether if he should say anything at all. Afraid that anything he was going to say would hurt one of his friends.

                He could see that Siwan was about to give up and leave them when he suddenly heard Dongjun said “Sit!” before stand up from his seat.

                Siwan sat on the chair across where Dongjun sat, head still low. But his face turned bright when he saw Dongjun put a plate of kimchi fried rice and a carton of milk in front of him and he could hear Minwoo’s relieved sigh. None of them mentioned about that incident, just as usual, they talked about their classes, Minwoo’s dance practice, and Dongjun’s soccer team.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                Siwan was standing in front of an apartment door, a paper on his hand, making sure that he was in front of the right apartment before knocking the door. He could hear a shuffle sound from inside the apartment before the door opened, revealing the owner wearing a light pink sweater and grey pants.

                Heechul opened the door wider for Siwan to came in, and closing the door behind him before saying

                “Do you mind if I take a shower first? I just arrived a while ago.”

                “Sure! No problem, I can wait..”

                “Okay then, uh.. that’s the kitchen, if you feel thirsty.. just make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back!” Heechul said, seemed nervous, before proceeding to the bathroom.

                Siwan sat on Heechul’s bed, looking around, observing the apartment. It wasn’t really big apartment, but it’s pretty nice, there’s one bed in the corner, a study table beside the bed, with some books neatly arranged on top of it and a table lamp, a table on the middle of the room, which he guess Heechul use it to eat, a TV on the floor with a DVD player beside it, there’s a small kitchen next to the apartment door with a small fridge on top of it and another door just right next to the other end of kitchen counter, the bathroom door. He wanted to get use to that place soon, because he would spend the next 8 weeks at that place often.

                It’s not that long before Siwan heard the bathroom room door opened, revealing Heechul with a towel around his neck and hair dripping wet. In all honesty, if he wasn’t already sat on the bed, Siwan might fell right there, because, well, the sight of Heechul after shower, with hair dripping wet was just, beautiful. It’s kind of weird that Heechul wasn’t popular at school, because, when you pay attention to him, Heechul is really.... attractive.

                Siwan snapped from his own thought when Heechul coughed and say

                “Ehm... should we started? Like.. now?”

                “Huh? Yes, let’s start now!”

                They spent about 3 hours working on their project. To Siwan surprise, Heechul was actually a nice person and a good student, he wasn’t extraordinarily smart but he obviously better than average.

                Since then, Siwan would be there on Heechul’s place 4 times a week, or less if his so called boyfriend wanted to meet him, so he HAS to go. In 4 weeks Siwan learned that Heechul is the only child in his family, his mom passed away 8 months ago from an accident, he lived alone at Seoul and his dad was in Jeju, he also a part time worker on a café nearby. Heechul wasn’t poor nor rich, his dad pays for his school fee and gave him some money each month, but he need to work to pay for his apartment and to buy some of his needs.

                It’s inevitable that they would become closer since then, at least they are casual friends now. Siwan found Heechul was really nice, he’s funny, and has same interests as him with music, books, and food. Heechul found Siwan was smart, has similar thoughts as him, and well, he needs friend, and Siwan willing to be his friend.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                It was a rainy day, when Siwan found himself standing in front of Heechul’s place. It wasn’t their ‘project day’, instead, that day he supposed to have a date with his boyfriend. But they had a fight, and just like any other fight, the end wasn’t good for him. He couldn’t go home with bruised cheeks, he couldn’t go to Minwoo’s place let alone Dongjun’s, God knows what his friends would do if they found out that Taehun beat him again. So, unconsciously, he went to the only a place he could think about, Heechul’s apartment.

                When Heechul opened the door after the first knock, he was shocked at what he saw. His project partner drenched in rain with swollen eyes, he could see his face wet, but he wasn’t sure was it because of the rain or tears.

                “What the hell Siwan? What are you doing there? Come in!!”

                When he didn’t see that the smaller boy has any plan to move, he grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. He didn’t even care if his floor wet because of the water dripping from Siwan’s clothes and just dragged him. After Siwan successfully sat on his bed, he then grabbed a clean towel and a dry shirt from his drawer.

                Siwan wasn’t refused when Heechul took off his wet clothes, and he let him dry his hair and body with the towel. He felt a lot warmer when Heechul finished his ‘work’ after succeeded in putting a shirt on and wrapping a thick cover around him.

                Heechul kneeling in front of Siwan and handed him a cup of warm tea, before asking

                “Did he... beat you again?”

                Siwan’s eyes widened at the question,

                “How..how..could you..”

                Heechul cut him middle way and say,

                “I just know.. You always rushed after receiving text from him, like you are afraid or something, and I, sometimes can see those bruises you try to hide under your sleeves, yea... I’m just guessing, but I think I’m right.”

                Siwan bite his lower lip, he can’t believe in what he heard. That time, he felt so weak and tired, he felt pathetic and ashamed, so he did the only thing he could, crying.

                Heechul took the cup from Siwan’s hand, put it on the floor before hugging the crying boy, telling him that everything would be okay. He didn’t know what gotten into him when he kissed Siwan’s shoulder. And when Siwan wasn’t refused when he trailed a soft kisses on his neck to his face, he didn’t care about anything else.

                Siwan tasted sweet, Heechul noticed. The kiss was slow and comfortable, making none of them want to stop. Siwan fisted the front of Heechul’s shirt, pulling him closer, while Heechul’s hand wondering on his back, making him felt warm. The moment Heechul his lower lip and shoved his tongue to his mouth, he knew that nothing between them was platonic, nor friendly.

                Heechul pulled away first after a final slow kiss, to catch a breath, pressing his forehead to Siwan’s. His face still dangerously close to Siwan’s, he could feel his breathe on his face.

                Siwan closed his eyes when Heechul caressed his cheek, the place where Taehun had slapped him earlier. His mind went blank, he wished the time would just stop there, because everything was just feels right. Heechul’s lips on his, Heechul’s arms around him, Heechul’s hand on his cheek, Heechul’s scent, Heechul’s taste, everything just feels right. He knew that wasn’t right, he has a boyfriend, yet then, all he wanted was to be in someone else’s arms.

                “Do you have to go home?’ Heechul asked with a hope that Siwan would just stay the night.

                “No, I want to stay..”

                That night, Siwan slept in Heechul’s arm, and somehow, he felt safe.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                They were on Heechul’s bed, cuddling. Heechul’s back pressed to the bed post with Siwan between his legs. His left arm lazily draped around Siwan’s waist, while Siwan playing with his right hand. None of them felt like doing the project or just anything that night.

                They never really labeled themselves as anything, they obviously more than just a friend but they are not lovers too, heck, Siwan has a boyfriend. But that wasn’t really matter for both, however, they got used to what they have between them. They knew that they fond of each other, for the needs of even the slightest physical contact between them.

                Siwan’s phone suddenly buzzed on Heechul’s table, and hechul reached it for him.

                “Taehun, he say sorry.. again..”

                Yes, as weird as it sounded, Siwan still dating his boyfriend, and for the countless time, he got a bruise on his wrist. Heechul caressed his bruise with his thumb before kissed it, it was painful for him to see Siwan hurt. There are times when he just wanted to kill Taehun so bad, but he knew better that was not what Siwan wanted.

                “Siwan...” Heechul called softly.

                Siwan turned his head and planted a small kiss on Heechul’s cheek as a sign that he pay attention to him.

                “What are we?” Heechul asked, ready for any possible answer.

                Heechul could feel that Siwan tensed in his arms from the question, but there’s no way back, he asked it already and he has to be ready for whatever answer Siwan would give him. Instead of answering, Siwan turned around, kneeling in front of him so he was a little bit taller, wrapping his arm around his neck and started to kiss his face. His forehead, his eyes, his nose, and down to his lips.

                Heechul could feel it, from the desperate kiss Siwan gave him, Heechul could feel the answer, so, he didn’t ask again. He got his answer already.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                It’s been 4 days since the last time Heechul talked to Siwan, the other boy didn’t come to his place to work on the project, and didn’t pick up his phone. He tried to text him but got no reply at all. He was hopeless, he thought, Siwan had decided already. He knew it from the start that what he had with Siwan was just temporary, but what he didn’t expect was that everything ended this fast.

                Sometimes he could see him on hallway, or at the cafeteria with Dongjun and Minwoo but everytime he tried to go near him, he walked away.

                Heechul was working on what supposed to be their project one night when he heard a loud knock on his door making him almost fell from his chair. Right after he opened the door and before he could recognized who was the person in front of his doorstep, he felt someone threw himself to his arms, and he could recognized him right away. A familiar scent, someone he was dying to see and hold these last few days.

                “Si..Siwan?” He still couldn’t believe that Siwan was there, at his place, in his arms.

                Siwan released himself from the hug and cupped Heechul’s face with both of his hand, smiling brightly at him.

                “I decided already! I.. I left him already, I was trying to find out about my feeling, and.. and.. I finally realize, I want you! I love you Heechul! I do! I love you so much it hurts! I was dying not to be able to talk to you these last few days, and how I I missed to be in your arms.”

                Heechul’s eyes widened at what he just heard, he let out a sound that somehow sounds like both a choked sob and a relieved laugh. He buried his face at the crook of Siwan’s neck, hugging him so tight like his life depended on it.  Saying “I love you,” to his ear over and over again, just because he could. 

               What they had before wasn't right, and Siwan prefer to do things right. As he made his decision, he knew that his heart can't be wrong.