The moment Jongwoon ended his schedule and checked his phone, he knew he was done for.

Leeteuk had just sent him the link to the latest Haengko broadcast video, with a cheerful message of Jongwoon-ah! Haengko said that you’re his favourite^^ you did well~ you might want to pacify your maknae though…

Thanks, hyung. Tell Haengko that he’s my favourite too. I’m so excited to deal with a jealous Cho Kyuhyun, btw. After sending the reply, Jongwoon clicked into the video and watched as Haengko said his name without hesitation when asked about his favourite Suju member. He chuckled at the mascot’s cuteness and even felt appreciated that Haengko knew that he still continued with the show even though he was down with a sore throat. As he put down his phone, he immediately started thinking of ways to appease Kyuhyun when the younger is back from work tonight. Give or take a few hours, it will be sooner or later that Kyuhyun sees the video after he’s done with his schedules today.

Should I cook for him? No, he’ll end up in the hospital. Should I act cute and clingy? No, that’s not enough, I already did that the last time he was jealous over Haengko. Should I distract him with ? No, he’ll just throw a tantrum again after the . Should I promise to cuddle with him everyday? Wait no, we already cuddle together all the time.

As Jongwoon continued to crack his brain over an ideal solution, little did he know that his dear Teuk hyung was sweating and busy breaking up a fight in a waiting room.

When the broadcast with Haengko had ended, Leeteuk immediately sent a message to Jongwoon to tell him about what happened and also to warn him about a maknae’s impending wrath. He was happy that Haengko and Jongwoon got along so well, since Jongwoon hadn’t really been on a show in awhile already. Leeteuk remembered how he even had to quickly interfere with Haengko singing about kissing Jongwoon’s y collarbones, before it got worse and Jongwoon would have to stay up the the whole night making up to Kyuhyun, knowing the maknae’s jealous tendencies.

And lo and behold, he guessed right, because the next day, Kyuhyun came whining to him complaining that Hyung! This is all your fault!!! I had to sleep on the couch yesterday because Jongwoon was angry w me! Why didn’t you tell me that you were bringing Jongwoon on the show with that stupid elephant!! I will not allow that elephant to meet Jongwoon again! Pls convince Jongwoon to let me back in bed tonight, pls pls, he listens to you well, pls plssssssss pls.

Leeteuk could only shake his head in resignation. How was this his fault?!?! And if Cho Kyuhyun wanted a favour, why must he scold him in the same message!?!

So when Haengko said that his favourite member was Jongwoon just now, Leeteuk felt his stomach lurch and he started screaming internally. God ing damnit, here we go again. Another day, another jealous Kyuhyun for Jongwoon to deal with. As a good hyung, he immediately tried to do some damage control by bringing up Hyukjae to change the topic away from Jongwoon. Leeteuk could only hope that the consequence would not be too much for Jongwoon to handle.

But what’s done is done. However, what Leeteuk did not expect was for the consequence to arrive ten minutes later, while he was still in the dressing room packing up his belongings with Haengko.

Leeteuk was just checking with manager-nim about his next schedule, while Haengko sat at one side humming, when the door banged open. A tall figure barged into the room in a frenzy and suddenly, the happy elephant was being strangled by none other than Cho Kyuhyun.

What the ! Doesn’t he have a programme filming right now? Leeteuk could only stare in shock, frozen. Same goes for all the other employees in the room, because what the is happening? How did Kyuhyun’s hands even manage to wrap around Haengko’s large neck?

It was only when his name was called out by the elephant — Leeteuk sunbae! Help! I’m dying! I can’t breathe! I’m too young to die! — then did Leeteuk come back to himself. He scrambled over to the pair and tried to pull Kyuhyun away.

But it seemed that Kyuhyun really did bulk up for Benhur, because he barely budged at Leeteuk’s tugging. In fact, he wrestled with Haengko even harder. “Who do you think you are, huh, Haengko? Your favourite member is Jongwoon hyung? You want to sing a duet with him? You want to kiss him? You want to die? Are you trying to dethrone me from his favourite cutest maknae position? I won’t let you win without a fight, you stupid elephant!”

Leeteuk prayed for some divine intervention. How does a 35 year old man even get jealous over a 10 year old elephant?

And Haengko, you would think this little elephant would have some self-preservation, but nooo, he just had to rebut Kyuhyun with a “Yes! Jongwoon sunbae is my favourite! He is kind and pretty and he sings well! I want to sing more duets with him!!!”

Leeteuk simply gave up. This was way beyond his pay grade. And you can’t talk sense into idiots, which are the two wrestling on the ground right now. Wait, was that Haengko standing on top of a dressing table ready to jump on Kyuhyun who was sprawled on the ground like they were in a WWE match? And what the — was that manager-nim blowing a whistle as a referee? Everyone in the room was watching the pair fight it out with rapt fascination. Honestly, when else would you get to see a high profile idol battling it out with SM's first eco-friendly elephant trainee? This was pretty comical, Leeteuk would have to admit. And he shouldn’t be enjoying this alone. So, the leader took out his phone, dialled Jongwoon’s number and requested for a video call. The call connected and his dongsaeng greeted him happily, only for his cheery voice to devolve into a horrified cry when Leeteuk turned the camera.

“Is that Cho Kyuhyun putting Haengko in a chokehold on the floor?!?!!!”

Turns out Jongwoon’s voice was the divine intervention Leeteuk had hoped for, because Kyuhyun immediately got distracted and loosened his hold on the happy elephant as he perked up.

“Jongwoon?”

“Yahhhhh! Cho Kyuhyun! What are you doing?!?”

Kyuhyun scrambled over to the eldest, almost tripping on Haengko in his haste. Leeteuk almost wanted to puke at the 180 degree change from the maknae. The puppy eyes and sad pout he was putting on were actually nauseating to see. “Hyung! I’m doing nothing! How are you? What are you doing? Aren’t you busy right now? What do you want to eat for dinner tonight? I’ll cook for us! Because I love you, you know that right?”

“I don’t want to eat dinner with you anymore!!! Aren’t you supposed to be at a filming right now? Why are you bullying Haengko!?!”

In the background, the happy elephant could be seen taking deep breaths through his long nose, trying to recover from the deadly chokehold. At his name being mentioned again, Haengko cheerfully shouted across the room, “Jongwoon sunbae~ Did you watch today’s programme? I said that you’re my favourite!” The happy elephant even shot finger hearts towards Jongwoon, uncaring about the aura of death glaring at him from nearby. 

Leeteuk could tell that Kyuhyun was shaking in his toes trying to prevent himself from pulling a taekwondo kick on the elephant.

“Yes, Haengko-ah, I watched it already~ Thank you for choosing me, take care of yourself and eat some bellflower roots to soothe your throat, okay? I hope we can meet again~”

Kyuhyun visibly bristled at that. He opened his mouth to protest, but Jongwoon beat him to it. “Cho Kyuhyun. Return Teuk hyung’s phone to him. And call me by yourself. I’m waiting.” Then he hung up.

Leeteuk had to swallow back his laughter at the look of worry and sadness on his youngest member. Hah, that’s what you get for almost giving me aneurysm just now, you punk.

“Hyung, why did you call Jongwoon?! Now, I’m in a bigger trouble than yesterday! Arghhhhhhh! Leeteuk, this is all your fault again! Do you think hyung will forgive me if I order 50 sets of legos now? Wait no, he already shops like that all the time by himself already. Why must I have a rich boyfriend? I can’t even bribe him with gifts! Ahhhhhhh, what should I do, what should I do, I want to cuddle with hyung tonight…” And of course, it's Leeteuk's fault again. The eldest shook his head and hoped Jongwoon would not let Kyuhyun sleep in the bed today, just to see him suffer a little as a payback for all the headaches he had caused.

“Kyuhyun-ah, maybe you should call Jongwoon first…”

The maknae jerked, like he really did forget that he was supposed to do that, before rushing out of the room without another word, not before purposefully bumping into Haengko on his way out.

20 minutes later, a desperate Cho Kyuhyun had cancelled all his schedules for the rest of the day, and could be seen latching onto one Kim Jongwoon like a koala, his arms around the older’s neck and legs around the thin waist. Kyuhyun would be marvelling at how his hyung was secretly so strong (truly his Cheonan mad dog~), if he wasn’t so occupied with pouting and begging for forgiveness like a poor husband. Jongwoon simply continued with his business around the house, not sparing a single glance at Kyuhyun’s watery eyes, besides having an arm wrapped around Kyuhyun’s waist to prevent him from falling.

“Hyung~ Hyung~ Hyung~”

“……”

“Jongwoon… I’m gonna cry!”

“Do it. Cry. I want to see your tears, now.”

“Nooooo, hyung~” Kyuhyun rubbed his nose at Jongwoon’s neck repeatedly again. Jongwoon was surprised that Kyuhyun’s nose hasn’t broken yet with how he’s been at it for the past 10 minutes. “Stop being mean to me~ Please forgive me~ I only did that because I love you soooooo much! I love you, I love you, I love you~”

“……”

“Hyung… you promised… that you won’t be angry with me :(”

“……” Did Kyuhyun really just say ‘sad face emoticon’ after his sentence, as if he was texting? But Jongwoon did falter at the mention of the promise he made.

“Hyung… at this rate, I’m gonna fall sick because I’m so heartbroken that you’re angry with me. Do you want me to fall sick? :(((”

Goddamnit, Jongwoon’s gonna cave already. Sorry, Teuk hyung, I really tried. Honestly, Jongwoon is sometimes surprised that Kyuhyun is always teased for being whipped for him, because Jongwoon feels that he is even more whipped for Kyuhyun with how he always melts when Kyu acts cute with him.

Kyuhyun knew he was forgiven the moment Jongwoon sighed. The baby koala maknae grinned and hugged his boyfriend even closer. “I’m forgiven, right? Hyung~ forgive me, I know you love me~”

Jongwoon nodded in defeat. Yay! The storm is over! Happy wife, happy life! However, before Kyuhyun could start celebrating, Jongwoon continued, “But I want you to write a letter of apology to Haengko.”

“Hyung?!!”

“Now.”

—

The next day, the happy elephant woke up to an envelope in his mail.

Dearest Haengko,

This is Cho Kyuhyun (Jongwoon’s beloved, one and only, talented, handsome boyfriend). I am writing this letter (against my will) to apologise for strangling you and…...

Ah, only a few weeks as an SM Trainee and he already got the esteemed Cho Kyuhyun sunbae to apologise to him, his KYUpiter elephant friends will definitely be jealous of him when he tells them about this!