They had been… intimate… very intimate for a few months now. Hyejinie had made life enjoyable again, and Yong realized just how down she had felt until then. She was not forgetting her job, though, and regularly sent reports to her agency, though omitting just how close she had become to her target (closer than she was ordered to, that was for sure.) 

It was fun at first: after that night in the bathhouse, they had acted like nothing happened for a few days until this enticing dance of seduction began again. It was never taken for granted, and Yongsun loved how Hyejin never just took what she wanted. No, she spent her time seducing Yong as if it was their very first time together, and the spy fell in love with this game between them. 

As mind-blowing as the was, that wasn’t what revitalized Yong. No, Hyejinie was living with such a carefree enthusiasm that it bled onto the older woman, who had no real choice but to follow her around when on the job. The younger woman, who she came to find out was extremely wealthy, was sometimes bringing her to luxurious restaurants but could marvel just as much at the greasy street food they would sometimes get. There was nothing more endearing to the hardened Yong than watching the almost childlike delight on Hyejin’s face as she chewed on her food with a low hum. Her smiles easily found their way on her face in those times.

She laughed again, thanks to Hyejinie, and almost blushed when the younger woman told her how beautiful her smile was. In retrospect, Yongsun found herself slightly ridiculous, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush at the smallest compliment. While Hyejinie was not stingy with her money, she was even less so with her praises. Yong would grumble when it got a bit too much, but nevertheless, she melted a little bit and got closer and closer to the younger woman. 

However close they became, though, the spy could feel how cautious Hyejinie could still be, and her own caution probably didn’t help. 

“You’re impossible, Hyejin-ah!” Yongsun growled as she pulled the younger woman’s hand to herself. They sat on a rock in the countryside, still reeling from their altercation with another criminal organization. The engine was still crackling slightly under the hood of Hyejin’s car parked on the side of the road, the random noises keeping Yongsun on edge. The spy opened a medical kit and started to clean the wound disgracing the younger woman’s hand. It had been grazed by a bullet, and at the sight of blood, Yongsun had emptied her magazine into the car chasing them until she hit the passenger, and the driver turned the car around and drove away. It had been quite some time before cold rage seized her like this. Now, she was just filled with worry as she dressed the wound. Hyejin kept her eyes trained on the older woman’s face, melting at the worry so clearly displayed. 

“You know you’re extremely y when murderous?” Hyejin whispered as Yong put everything back in the box, a wolfish grin on her face. Yong glared at her and got up to put the kit back in the trunk. She looked at the bullet holes near the driver’s door and sighed. When she looked back at her partner in literal crime, Hyejinie was gazing up at the stars with a soft smile, looking more serene than she should. 

“I don’t understand how you’re so calm after all this… I still feel jittery.” Yong said as she sat next to her on the rock. 

“There’s very little chance of this happening again tonight, so really, I’m calmer than I could ever be on a random Tuesday.” Yongsun hummed, body still tensed, and Hyejin glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “You’re way more tense than I thought you would be.”

“Yeah, well…” Yongsun sighed again and looked up at the night sky. She had just realized that her feelings for the criminal ran deeper than she thought, and everything had become more complicated. Her job, her worry for Hyejin, how she suddenly wanted to drop it all, her undercover and her job, just so she could wisk Hyejin away and live in a faraway mountain or shore. All this just because of how horrified she had been when she saw the blood on Hyejin’s hand. 

They were both stargazing for a while until Hyejinie eventually stood up and stretched. “I’ll tell the boss what happened. We’ll probably hit the Tigers tomorrow. I have to warn Whee–”

“I think I’m in love with you.” Yongsun interrupted her, looking up at the younger woman who froze.

“Y-you… What?” Hyejin whispered, brow slightly furrowed. 

Yongsun stood up with a sigh, rubbing her forehead with the tip of her fingers. “Listen, I just… I think we should swap partners. I can’t be efficient if I’m worried about you. And what happened today made me realize that it’s dangerous for us both to keep working together.”

Hyejin’s frown deepened, even more surprised by what Yongsun was saying now than by her confession.

“Hang on, stop.”

“It’s for the best, Hyejin-ah.”

“I…” Hyejin was at a loss for words, so taken aback by the situation that she didn’t even know what she felt or thought about the matter.

Yongsun didn’t wait for Hyejin’s answer, nor did she wait for her to gather her bearings. She briskly walked to the car and sat on the passenger side. She didn’t look at Hyejin as she clipped her seatbelt on but soon realized the younger woman hadn’t followed. The brunette was standing with her back to the car, hands on her hips as she looked up at the sky for a couple of minutes that felt like hours. Yet, Yongsun didn’t interrupt her.

The spy yelped, startled when Hyejin gently knocked on her window; she rolled it down. Hyejin smiled at her almost shyly, crossing her arms on the edge of the open window as she leaned to eye level.

"Your feelings are not unrequited, unnie, I–"

"I didn’t confess to move to the next level with you, Hyejin-ah… We need to part ways…”

Hyejin’s smile slowly faded, and she quickly rounded the car to get inside. 

“What are you saying, unnie??”

“I told you: we have to change partners.”

“This is absurd, surely–”

“We can’t work together if we have feelings for each other. We’ll just make bad deci–” Hyejin cupped her face and pulled her into a deep kiss that effectively shut the spy up. Yongsun didn’t even pretend to resist, a hand coming to rest on the back of Hyejin’s neck as she tried to get closer.

Then Hyejinie broke the kiss and started the engine.

“We’re not changing partners,” Hyejin said firmly, the words almost ringing like an order, before driving back on the road without a word. They didn’t discuss it any further, but they did make love all night long in the first hotel they found. 

A few weeks passed, and nothing changed much except that now the two women never parted ways after work and spent every night in Hyejin’s luxurious penthouse. Yongsun hadn’t felt this happy in a long while, but soon, the pink goggles wore off, and she was left with a knot in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t know what to do anymore: she didn’t feel like betraying Hyejin by going on with her mission but felt guilty at the idea of quitting her job and becoming a criminal. No matter how much she loved Hyejin, it didn’t mean her core values had changed, and though Hyejin never did anything that Yongsun deemed immoral, she was still in a world where immorality was not condemned. Somehow, the spy had a hard time reconciling her heart and her mind. 

For weeks, she was plagued with those recurring thoughts any waking moment that wasn’t enraptured by the younger woman she was falling deeper and deeper for. 

Yongsun had her arm looped around Hyejin’s as they entered the villa of a chaebol’s family they had been dealing with for the past few days. It was the first time they had to deal with human trafficking, and Yongsun felt sick to her stomach. She didn’t let it show, though, professional as she was and smiled charmingly at anyone who greeted them. Regret started taking root at having chosen to wear a dress, feeling envious of Hyejinie's suit. Yongsun knew she was seducing all the guests, but it was the occasional glances of her partner at her leg, sometimes escaping the slit of her dress, that made her feel warm. Hyejin had played with the garter around her thigh the whole drive to the event, and Yongsun had to stop herself from having her way with her in the organization’s limousine they had used for the occasion. 

“I can’t wait to have you all to myself,” Hyejin whispered in her ear as she daintily sipped from her champagne flute.

“Patience.” Yongsun simply answered, her fingertips grazing the undone bow tie. It was framing Hyejin’s couple of undone buttons in a nonchalant yet devastating manner. The younger woman elegantly took the flute from her partner’s hand and drank from the very spot Yong did, holding the spy’s gaze. Yongsun simply shook her head with an amused smile before appraising the guests around them.

This levity didn’t last long, as Yongsun soon followed Hyejin to their target for the evening. She stayed silent through their conversation, pretty much slipping into the role of a trophy wife for Hyejin, only looking pretty and charming. She wished she was a dumb bimbo at that moment because, with each detail of their deal for selling men and women, Yongsun was more and more horrified and nauseous.

Because of her outfit for the evening, Hyejin had persuaded her not to bring any weapon as she wouldn’t have a place to effectively hide any, and now she felt in a way she seldom had in her life. Her body was now her sole weapon, quite weak when all the men in attendance probably had at least a gun on them. 

Yong’s hand had turned cold on Hyejin’s exposed forearm. “We’ll hash out the details later tonight, I’m sure.” She vaguely heard Hyejin say. “If you’ll excuse me, my drink is now empty.” She said with a light chuckle before gently guiding Yongsun to the bar. 

“Unnie, is everything okay…?” Hyejin asked after ordering a new flute.

Yong subtly shook her head no. It’s only because she looked closely that Hyejin noticed how shaken Yong was. “Please, tell me how to help.” She whispered. 

“I can’t talk openly, Jin-ah.” Yongsun snapped in a low voice, frustrated with the circumstances, and, had she not been so well trained to manage her stress, she would have had a panic attack. 

“Okay, take a sip,” Hyejinie said as she gave her the flute of champagne the bartender handed her, taking control of the situation. Yongsun was only partially relieved to be with someone this level-headed and similarly trained in handling complicated situations. Yongsun did as she was told, grimacing slightly at the taste and letting herself be guided by Hyejin’s soft yet firm hand on her lower back. They stepped out into the garden, sitting quite far from the villa as they sat on one of the deckchairs. Hyejinie took her phone, opened the notes app, and gave it to Yongsun.

“Write what you need to tell me, unnie.”

There is so much I need to say, Hyejinie. I’m not sure writing will do it justice, and I absolutely cannot risk being overheard. 

Hyejin sighed when she saw the message. She grabbed Yongsun by the wrist and pulled her to where their car was parked. She thoroughly checked outside and inside for any listening device that would have been placed after their arrival before getting inside and locking the doors.

“Alright, unnie, I’m listening,” Hyejin said patiently, though, at this point, Yongsun knew her well enough to know the younger woman was both frustrated and worried. 

The spy loved the younger woman very dearly and believed that her love was genuinely reciprocated. Still, she steeled her body and mind, preparing herself for a flight or fight situation, well aware she had no weapon but knowing exactly where Hyejin was hiding hers.

The younger woman frowned when she saw Yongsun tensing up and sizing her environment, but her attention was pulled at the sound of her unnie’s voice. “First of all, I have to say that I can’t hide any longer how ing horrific I find our purpose here today.” She said in a harsh yet hushed voice. Hyejinie relaxed slightly, thinking all this was just Yongsun getting cold feet. 

“Listen, I’m not super happy either, okay? It’s not like I like that we’re doing this kind of traffic, but it’s not like we have a choice. We have to obey the orders from above. I’m not the big boss here, unnie.”

“And you’re okay with that?!”

“I have to be okay with it! What other choice do I have?? It’s our job, unnie.”

“It’s your job,” Yongsun said bitterly. Hyejin frowned, her gaze suddenly piercing as she felt her blood run cold. 

“What do you mean…? Please don’t tell me this is a repeat of Byulyie unnie…”

“What’s with this attachment with this Byulyie from you and Wheein?!” Yongsun snapped before sighing and running a hand down her face. “I’m not an undercover cop.”

“But you’re something .” Hyejinie practically growled, leaning back slightly, her hand coming to rest on her belt. Yongsun’s eyes zeroed in on the action, and the spy tensed initially, but quickly sadness washed over her instead. Hyejin’s hand relaxed slightly as she noticed tears gathering in Yongsun’s eyes, and as distrusting as she was at the moment, it tugged quite strongly at her heart.

“I love you so much, Jin-ah. This hurts so much…”

“What hurts, unnie…?” The younger woman asked cautiously, though closed at the obvious distress seizing her partner in crime and in love.

“I…” Yongsun took a deep breath. “I am undercover. But not for the police.” She said with a wavering voice. Her eyes, downcast until then, looked up into the beautiful gaze of the younger woman. 

“F-for who…?” Hyejin asked in a small voice, unable to hide how the world was robbed under her feet. 

“Secret services.”

Time froze inside the car. Both women tensed as they prepared for what the other would do. But after a while of complete silence filled with expectant waiting, they resigned themselves to the fact that neither intended to fight or escape.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Hyejin asked, voice breaking. “Why now? Why not complete your mission and off?”

“I love you, Jin-ah. And I am not strong enough to get over you.”

Hyejin sighed deeply, breaking eye contact for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. Yongsun saw it as it was: a sign of trust as she was letting her tight guard down, allowing herself a lack of focus. The spy relaxed slightly.

“Why am I always paired with undercover women?” Hyejinie mumbled to herself. “What do we do now?” She asked the older woman. 

“I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself the same question for weeks… Since I confessed, actually.”

Hyejin narrowed her eyes. “So that’s why you wanted to swap partners so desperately.”

“I don’t want to betray you, Jin-ah.”

“Then, don’t!”

“I’m not intending to.”

Hyejin froze in surprise, mouth agape. “Oh…” 

“That’s why I needed to talk to you about all this…” Yongsun felt incredibly lighter now, especially seeing how the situation wasn’t as dramatic as she had envisioned. “I could have tortured myself for months about what to do. About how I want to quit my job so I don’t put you in danger. About how I wish I could take you and leave far away where we could live in a small cabin by the sea.”

“I love the sea,” Hyejin whispered to herself; Yongsun kept going as if she hadn’t heard.

“But tonight was just too much, and as much as I’m willing to disregard your involvement in criminal activity because I love you, trafficking human beings fundamentally goes against who I am. And I would hate myself if I didn’t stop you. That is precisely the type of activity I had to uncover.”

“You do realize that we also sell human beings to your bosses, right?”

Yongsun frowned slightly. “I am aware that people are corrupt and evil, Jin-ah. I was spying on foreign governments before this job.”

“Impressive,” Hyejin said with a dry chuckle, unsure if she should admire her or be wary.

“Still, I’m doing this job to be as much a positive light as I can in the world. And as much as I can put that aside while undercover in dealing drugs, in exacting punishment on rival criminals, and so on, I cannot let the woman I love traffic people.”

Hyejin nodded slightly, leaning back fully against her seat, looking through the window, lost in thought. Yongsun stayed silent, giving her the space and time she needed. “I don’t know how to proceed exactly,” Hyejin said after a while. “But I love you too much to betray you, too. I am also uncomfortable with this particular job with this chaebol… And I can probably get the job transferred to someone else.” At these words, Yongsun completely relaxed in her seat with a relieved sigh. “Beyond that, I have no idea what to do now, Yongsun unnie.”

The spy looked over at her lover, who looked so very, very young in that instant despite being thirty years old.

“Do you trust me, Jin-ah?”

“I would have said an assured yes ten minutes ago. I trust you now, but I don’t know if I should.”

“I can’t blame you… But I’m tired. I’m tired of being a secret agent. I’m tired of this criminal world… I’m tired of it all, Jin-ah. I’ve spent my youth chasing ideals through the darkest mud of this world. I’m tainted. I’ve had enough.”

The defeat in the spy’s voice tugged at Hyejin’s heart yet again. “I do mean it when I say I wish we could live in a cabin by the sea. I’ve saved a lot of money through the years, Jin-ah. If I quit…. if you quit… Nothing is holding us back from disappearing and living a quiet life.”

“You do realize this means leaving Wheeinie behind.”

“She can come with us. She’s grown on me.”

Hyejinie let out a sad chuckle. “And my family, Yong.”

“Listen, we don’t have to make a decision right away. Just know that I intend to quit my job, and I do not intend to stay a criminal either. I don’t want to join your world, Jin-ah. I want to leave mine and yours and live a quiet, peaceful retirement.”

Hyejin sat closer to her, taking her hand in hers. “First, let’s get rid of this particular mission, alright, unnie? And then we think about what comes next.”

“This is going so much better than I thought it would.”

“I can’t believe I love you so much that I’m not ratting you out,” Hyejinie said drily. Yongsun gave her a small smile and kissed the back of her hand. “By the way, I’m mad at you for ruining the mood cause there’s no way I will take advantage of how gorgeous you look tonight, so you better wear that dress again some other time.”

Yongsun rolled her eyes. “Who would have known you’d be so insatiable.”

“You’re one to talk.”

They looked at each other with soft, tender smiles before reality dawned on them again. 

“Alright, I’ll make a few phone calls, unnie.”

“I’ll wait for you.” 

Yougsun’s words carried such heavy meaning that Hyejin kissed her with all the love she could muster and grabbed her phone.

Yongsun tuned out the conversation, too focused on dreaming about a much lighter future with the woman facing her than she could have foreseen not even an hour prior. 

She would have her own fair share of phone calls to make very soon. 

It had taken a couple of minutes to get off this particular case, and though they had to get back inside the mansion to smooth out the transfer with the chaebol, they soon enough left the party and spent the night in Hyejin’s grandma’s bathhouse. It had become their little alcove over the years. They had dealt with this obstacle so quickly that Yongsun hadn’t realized it would take them months to leave their respective lives behind. 

But, finally, shy of a year later, they put down their suitcases in a small house in a country far away from South Korea. Yongsun’s eyes followed the dragon on Hyejin’s back as the younger woman sauntered her way to the big glass doors of the living room that offered an exquisite view of their private beach. The younger woman had insisted on wearing just her bikini with a loose skirt, and Yongsun was thankful for she never stopped being so terribly attracted to her girlfriend’s inked skin. 

“Unnie, stop staring, and let’s go!” Her Hyejinie said excitedly, pulling her skirt down quickly. 

“Yeah, unnie, stop drooling!” Wheein shouted, almost bumping into her as she ran through the front door towards Hyejin, who had already pulled the glass door wide open and was becoming smaller and smaller as she ran towards the sea.

 Yongsun shook her head slightly, and after a cursory glance from her porch, she locked the front door and quickly changed into her swimsuit before following the two younger women toward the gentle waves. 

And maybe she was still wary sometimes as she saw a person in the distance, but she had decided not to put on sunscreen, and seeing the radiant smile on her lover’s face, she decided that it was all in the baby steps.