Chapter 15
What Family MeansLeeteuk inhaled sharply and blinked his eyes open. He was breathing rapidly but he couldn’t remember for the life of him what he had been dreaming about or why he’d woken up. Sighing into his pillow, he closed his eyes again. He was so tired.
“Hyung?”
Leeteuk slowly opened his eyes again as the sound floated through his mind. He could feel his heart beating against his chest but he didn’t understand why it felt like he’d just run a marathon. Through the fog in his mind he wondered what Woo Jin was doing out of bed. Then he suddenly remembered that his brother was dead. Swallowing hard past the lump in his throat, he rolled over, not sure what he was going to see.
Squinting through the darkness he saw a boy in a gray sweatshirt leaning against his door, his overlong hair as tangled as ever from sleep.
“Donghae?” Leeteuk recalled slowly, the name catching in his dry throat.
“You were making noises,” the boy told him in a small voice.
Propping himself up on his elbow and reaching a hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes, Leeteuk apologized absentmindedly, “I’m sorry, bud. I didn’t mean to keep you up.”
His words were met with silence. Lowering his hand away from his face, Leeteuk stared across at the boy in his doorway. He heard a sniff.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Dropping his head and quickly swiping a hand across his face, Donghae answered quietly, “I can’t sleep,”
Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Leeteuk wondered with a hint of humor, “Because of me?”
Donghae shook his head, hiccupping slightly. Leeteuk suddenly realized that Donghae was crying.
Shoulders sagging at hearing the normally cheerful boy’s sniffs, Leeteuk soothed, “Hey, come here.” He patted the mattress beside him.
Donghae shuffled over and crawled up onto the bed next to Leeteuk, keeping his head bowed the entire time.
Reaching out and tilting Donghae’s chin up, heart wrenching to see the tears falling down his face, Leeteuk asked, “What’s the matter?”
Eyes cast down on his hands, which he was wringing nervously, Donghae repeated through a slight hiccup, “I can’t sleep.”
“Why?” Leeteuk wondered kindly.
Dropping his hands and picking his eyes up to meet Leeteuk’s, Donghae said, “I’m afraid that if I close my eyes you’ll disappear.” The admission sent the boy into a muffled crying fit.
Tsking in heartfelt compassion, Leeteuk reached out and pulled the boy into a one armed hug at his side.
“What makes you think that?” he asked, using his free hand to wipe away a tear from Donghae’s cheek.
Shaking his head into Leeteuk’s shoulder like he didn’t know, Donghae simply insisted, “What if I wake up and you’re all gone?”
“We’d never do that,” Leeteuk assured, utterly moved by the boy’s fear. “We would never just leave you.” He realized the promise he was making as he said it, but he couldn’t help it. He wished it was true.
“You don’t have to want to,” Donghae hiccupped.
It suddenly occurred to Leeteuk that this might be a related fear. Loosening the hug and leaning back enough so he could look Donghae in the face, he asked as gently as he could, “Does this have anything to do with what happened to your parents?”
Leeteuk watched as the bright emotion in Donghae’s eyes was slowly replaced by a distant fog. He could feel the boy’s shoulders rising and falling rapidly under his arm. He was staring off at nothing, breathing audibly. Frightened by the change that had come over the child, Leeteuk lightly shook his shoulder and started to call his name. Suddenly Donghae snapped out of it on his own. With a sharp inhale he closed his eyes tightly shut and broke down again, sobbing harder than he had before.
Leeteuk was caught slightly off balance as Donghae buried his head into his shoulder but managed to shift himself quickly to support the weight that had crashed into him. Guilt and concern mixed together on his face and he reached out his free hand and Donghae’s hair.
“It’s alright,” he said calmingly, though he was just as scared. He’d never seen that look in someone’s eyes before. It was like Donghae hadn’t been there at all. He was now certain that Heechul was right. Whatever had happened to the kid’s parents, it hadn’t been pretty and he’d probably seen it.
Donghae was gripping Leeteuk’s shoulder so tightly that his nails dug through his shirt and into his skin, but Leeteuk didn’t care. He just hugged the boy back fiercely, trying to keep him from drifting off into whatever other reality had taken hold of him before.
He kept repeating that it would be okay, and that he was safe, and whatever else he could think of that might be of any comfort. He desperately wanted to know what was plaguing the boy, but didn’t want to ask at the risk of causing him to remember like he had a moment ago.
“You know,” he said delicately, when Donghae had started to calm down, “you don’t have to, but sometimes talking about it can make you feel better.”
He felt Donghae shake his head against his shoulder and decided not to push the matter.
Suddenly Donghae stopped crying completely, sat bolt upright, and swiped his sleeve across his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said embarrassedly, “I didn’t mean to get all—I’m just going to…”
He started to scoot toward the edge of the bed, but Leeteuk caught his arm. “It’s okay,” he promised. With a reassuring smile, he managed to coax Donghae back to the center of the bed.
Flipping out from under the covers and sitting cross legged across from the boy, Leeteuk said, “How about I make you a deal, huh?”
Cocking his head to the side very much like a dog, Donghae blinked curiously. His cheeks and eyes were still red from crying, but he didn’t look like he was in any danger of falling back into it again.
“What if I stayed awake?” Leeteuk offered, “Would you be able to sleep then?”
Donghae shrugged, but Leeteuk had learned enough to know now it was another attempt by Donghae to lie on his behalf. Breathing a slight smile, Leeteuk said, “I don’t mind. Really, I wasn’t sleeping well anyway.”
He could tell that Donghae was tempted. Deciding there was no point in trying to argue, Leeteuk demonstrated his resolve by flipping back the covers and gesturing for Donghae to get in.
Donghae crawled across the bed to the open spot and Leeteuk flipped the covers back over him. Then, leaning over toward the floor he pulled a blanket out from underneath the bed and lay on top of the covers, throwing the blanket over his feet. He then he propped himself up against the headboard.
“See,” he said to Donghae, “now I’ll keep watch to make sure no one disappears. Okay?”
With a yawn, exhaustion overtaking him the moment his head had hit the pillow, Donghae nodded. He closed his eyes and curled into a ball.
“Goodnight, Donghae,” Leeteuk whispered, tucking the sheets around the boy.
“’Night, hyung,” he answered sleepily.
Leeteuk decided right then and there as he looked down at that ragged, brown haired child that he would do anything, no matter what, to make sure Donghae never had to leave. Leeteuk stayed up for an hour after he was sure Donghae was asleep and then closed his eyes, knowing that for now, everyone was safe.
Earlier that same night, sleep had failed to come to the remaining members of Leeteuk’s small family as well. Heechul had always been a light sleeper, so even the faint sound of typing was enough to draw him out of his bed. It was too late for anyone to reasonably be up, so his curiosity got the better of him and he shuffled down the corridor following the noise. A faint glow brushing against the walls told him that someone had left the lamp on in the living room. Overriding his instinct to be sneaky, he walked out into the open and saw Kangin sitting on the couch, concentrating wholly on his laptop.
He was so focused that he didn’t notice Heechul’s arrival. Smirking to himself, Heechul announced, “?”
Jumping and slamming the laptop shut in an incriminating fashion, Kangin looked around wildly. When he spotted Heechul his surprise turned into a frown.
“What the hell, Heechul, a little warning.”
“So whatcha got there?” Heechul grinned unfazed, slinking over and falling onto the couch next to Kangin in a way he knew would bother him.
“I’m doing research,” Kangin said, scooting away from his roommate.
“So ?” he teased.
“No, idiot,” Kangin shot back in a low voice.
Realizing that Kangin usually angrily explained himself when he decided to purposefully misunderstanding him, Heechul asked seriously, “What are you doing, then?”
Opening the laptop back up, Kangin admitted, “I’m just doing a little research to see if I can’t find anything on our Donghae.”
“Ah,” Heechul nodded slowly, “our Donghae.”
Picking up on the gentle mocking tone in Heechul’s voice, Kangin responded, “Oh come on, you know that Leeteuk isn’t going to let him go.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t make him our Donghae,” Heechul pointed out, shifting into a kneeling position so he could look over Kangin’s shoulder at the laptop. He propped his elbow against the back of the couch, and rested his head on his hand. “You’ve warmed up to him too, haven’t you?”
“You’re saying you haven’t?” Kangin grumbled.
“I said too for a reason,” Heechul sighed and fluttered his eyelashes.
Kangin made a swipe at him, his lip curling in frustration.
Heechul laughed, but the smile started to fade from his face and he mused, “I feel bad. If Leeteuk is serious about this and wants to adopt him, it could take months, maybe longer, and they wouldn’t let him live here while they were doing all the legal stuff.”
Kangin grunted in response, not really knowing what to say. They had all been thinking about it. He didn’t want to think about having to make that call. He knew it would be him too. Leeteuk wouldn’t be able to do it.
“What’ve you found out so far,” Heechul prompted, pointing at the laptop, hoping to stop the inevitable train of thought journeying to the station of ‘this .’
Sighing, Kangin said, “Nothing. I haven’t found a damn thing.”
“Really? What have you searched?”
“Well, seeing as we don’t know his last name I just tried anything I could think of in combination with ‘Donghae’ that might bring up an old news story about how his parents died or something.”
“It’s possible whatever happened didn’t even make the news,” Heechul pointed out.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“How far back in time where you looking?” he asked.
“I didn’t set a time frame. I just searched.”
Heechul leaned toward the screen to see what Kangin had already searched, resting his elbow on the larger man’s shoulder as he peered at the search history. Kangin rolled his eyes that his roommate found it necessary to lean all over him, but he didn’t push him away.
“I’m impressed,” Heechul announced, “you actually know how to search.”
Closing the laptop with a snap, Kangin got off the couch and put the device on side table. “I think that’s enough for tonight,” he grumbled.
Kangin stayed with his back turned toward Heechul who had been caught off balance when his roommate had suddenly stood. Sliding himself into a normal sitting position, Heechul said,
“If we keep an eye on him I don’t think anything bad will happen. It’s only when no one’s watching that you get the bad stories.”
Confused as to how Heechul knew what he was thinking, Kangin slowly turned.
The slight man shrugged, “It’s what we’re all thinking.”
Kangin dragged a hand over his face. “Honestly, I want to just say screw the system.”
“If we don’t have the right paperwork he practically won’t exist, though. He’ll be a ghost…” Heechul trailed off after his last sentence, looking contemplative.
“What?”
Heechul shook his head. “Nothing,” he dismissed absentmindedly. “Go to bed, Kangin, we’ll figure it out in the morning.”
And with that, Heechul got up and drifted back toward his room.
Stunned in confusion, Kangin awkwardly said, “Goodnight,” after his strange roommate and then went and turned off the lamp, plunging the apartment into darkness.
The sun had barely slid in through the window when Leeteuk woke the next morning. He started to roll over, only to realize his arm was pinned underneath Donghae’s head. Smiling gently, he carefully slid his arm out from under the sleeping child. As he beamed down at the boy who looked so peaceful in sleep, he faltered, realizing it was tomorrow. He had to call in the fact that he’d found the boy that morning or risk suspicion.
Sighing heavily, he decided to let Donghae sleep for as long as he could. He moved silently to his door and slipped into the hallway, softly closing the door behind him. He walked into the living room and breathed deeply, feeling that the sunlight that worked its way into the room was mocking him. It was a beautiful morning and it should have been a good day if real life didn’t have to ruin it. Why couldn’t the police leave well enough alone.
“Morning, Teukie.”
Leeteuk turned to look at Heechul as he walked cheerfully into the room, though it didn’t seem like he’d slept that much. There were dark circles under his eyes which he hadn’t bothered to cover up.
“Hey,” Leeteuk greeted lamely.
“Did Donghae end up sleeping through the night?”
Wondering how much Heechul knew, Leeteuk said, “Yes,” hesitantly.
Seeming to get a great sense of amusement from Leeteuk’s confusion, Heechul confessed, “Sorry, I was up all night. I heard what happened. I figured you could handle it.”
Leeteuk scoffed and smiled at Heechul’s last comment. “Well thanks,” he said sarcastically.
“No problem,” he shot back grinning.
But since smiles had started having trouble staying in their apartment since the other night, Leeteuk’s smile faded and then Heechul’s followed suit.
“You want to keep him, don’t you?”
Leeteuk nodded.
“You’d do anything? Anything whatsoever?”
Furrowing his eyebrows curiously at Heechul’s tone, Leeteuk opened his mouth to question his friend further when he heard Kangin shuffle into the room behind him.
“Am I interrupting,” he asked groggily.
“No, you’re just in time,” Heechul told him.
Confused, Kangin exchanged a look with Leeteuk. The blonde man simply shrugged.
Smiling impishly, Heechul said, “Gather ‘round.”
Kangin came to stand beside Leeteuk and both of them looked expectantly at Heechul.
Clearing his throat dramatically, Heechul began in an announcer voice, “Do you, Leeteuk, promise that you want Donghae to be under your care? I’m talking about 24/7 sickness and health, all of that. You can’t have a single doubt about it.”
“I do,” Leeteuk said, then made a strange face at what it sounded like they were doing.
“And do you, Kangin, also promise that you will at least tolerate having a child running around the house, touching all your stuff and eating all the food and being way too eager in the mornings and all of that?”
“First of all, I already deal with all that crap from you. Two, what the hell is this, Heechul? We’re not getting married.”
“Just say it,” Leeteuk said, elbowing him in the side. He’d decided to see where Heechul was going with this.
“I do,” Kangin grumbled.
“Good,” Heechul affirmed, “and I do as well. So I guess the only thing left to ask is: How far are you willing to go?”
Kangin rolled his eyes. “I swear to God if this is some kind of dirty joke.”
Suddenly looking very serious, Heechul defended, “No. I mean this. What would you be willing to do in order to keep him?”
“I’d do anything,” Leeteuk said obligingly.
Reluctantly, Kangin shrugged his agreement.
Mischievous smile returning, Heechul said, “Good, then leave it to me.” Lowering his voice conspirationally, Heechul revealed, “I know a guy.”
Kangin raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, while Leeteuk’s eyes widened.
“What do you mean: you know a guy?” Leeteuk demanded.
“I know a guy,” he repeated.
“What kind of guy,” Leeteuk insisted.
“The kind of guy who can solve all of our problems.”
Leeteuk looked from Heechul to Kangin nervously. Kangin was too busy rolling his eyes to notice. And Heechul simply grinned.
A/N WOHOO!!! This update is dedicated to sparkythegamer (who also just updated again, super exicted :D) and to all of you wonderful subscribers (we just got 20 WOOT!), especially those of you who take the time to comment. Can't tell you how much it means to me :3 <3
I'm guessing that in this moment you probably only care about one thing so YES! ^That up there does mean new character next chapter. XD Guesses below!
And um...wow, I don't have very much to say. I started writing at 12 and boom, marathon run to get to post this. I'm quite proud of myself. XD
What else? Um just remember that I love you! If you're reading and you like it subscribe, if you have thoughts that you want to share comment. Besides that, peace out! :D
P.S. SebApples, forgive me for not letting you read first, but you had to go to work and I couldn't wait. XD <3
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