Hyukjae’s POV

Our kitchen was in complete silence as Donghae and I didn’t even talk with each other, still awkward with last night’s incident while the rest of the members gave a questioning look. Then, Heechul-hyung’s voice echoed the whole, silent kitchen.

“Are you two in a fight again!?” he asked me and I shook my head vigorously in fear as I lowered my head, not having the courage to stare the older man’s eyes, or even glance at him.

“Are you two in a fight again!?” he asked again but this time, he faced Donghae and he did the same, denying that we’re in a fight.

We’re not in a fight, we’re just trapped in the awkwardness of the situation where two best friends would probably share a kiss last night, and to think that we’re guys, and now, we’re sitting at the dining table, facing each other with reddened face.

It doesn’t sound so bad, is it?

No, it doesn’t.

It’s the worst moment I’ve ever had in my entire life.

“Then, why aren’t you guys talking?” he asked in irritation.

Suddenly, Siwon, who was sitting next to me, elbowed me and I looked at him.

“Hyung, feed me,” he said out of blue.

“What?”

“Feed me,” he repeated. He’s manly and tough but he often gets cuddly at times so I guess, it’s just normal because he’s affectionate. Usually, he does it during Eunsihae fan services and when we’re off camera, the rest of the member would be his victim, mainly Heechul-hyung although he has been warned all the time by him to say away, Siwon always ignore him.

His clinginess reminds me of Donghae a lot.

I was about to feed him a spoonful of bibimbap when a hand grabbed my wrist to his direction, and feed himself instead.

That person was none other than Lee Donghae.

Siwon started to burst into laughter when he saw Donghae’s angry face while I remained clueless.

“Jealous Donghae is back. The only way to hook this two up is to make Donghae jealous,” Siwon mumbled between his laughter and the members smirked. Donghae was munching his food so quickly that he almost got choked.

“Hyukkie can only feed me,” Donghae muttered in a low, deep voice and eyed me furiously.

Owh Donghae, you can’t help yourself from being too jealous, huh?

Donghae’s POV

I stared at Siwon the whole time when we’re in the van, heading to SBS’ building. Siwon was sitting in front of me, with Hyukjae by his side. He mustn’t have noticed me, since he was so busy talking to Hyukjae and what even flamed me was that Hyukjae responded to his talk, smiling and grinning like an idiot.

I felt like kicking Siwon’s but would be too obvious that I was, um, perhaps, jealous?

What happened earlier was too much for me to handle, honestly. Siwon has two pair of beautiful hands and can’t he use his own hand to feed himself!?

He had to be a spoiled brat, asking Hyukjae to feed him and that monkey even obeyed him. Well, not exactly, because if I had a self- control, I wouldn’t grab his hand and eat the food, earning a tease from Siwon that I was being jealous.

My mind was off somewhere else but I snapped back to reality when I spotted Siwon stretched his arm and was about to snake around Hyukkie’s back. I lost control of myself and stood up, in the middle of the moving van. I walked toward them and shoved Siwon from his seat.

“Go sit at the back. I want to sit here,” I muttered and Siwon grinned a mile wide.

“Jealous?”

I let out a deep sigh and he looked at me teasingly while Hyukjae had his eyes wide open.

“Yes. I am jealous, happy? Now, move away,” I said at once, didn’t care about my pride any longer and I just wanted him to stay away from Hyukjae.

 That’s all I wanted.

“Okay. Whatever you say,” he said and moved away while I sat beside Hyukjae. He startled when I put my arm around him and placed my head on his trembling shoulder.

“Listen, about last night--” he started to voice out but his sentenced trailed off when I cut his words.

“Shh, I don’t want to listen about what happened last night. It’s just an incident, so let’s just forget it, shall we?” I chipped in and it took some time before he nodded and mumbled, “Alright,”

******

“Good job, everyone!” Leeteuk-hyung yelled when we just finished an interview which was our last and final schedule of that day. Heechul-hyung put his arm around me and I swore I saw Hyukjae, who was talking to Sungmin-hyung glanced at us a couple of times.

“Let’s get something to eat. I’m hungry,” he said and suddenly, Hyukjae emerged out of nowhere. He fitted himself in a small space between me and Heechul-hyung with a smile plastered on his face.

“So..what are you guys talking about?” he blurted while his hand, slowly, sliding around my waist and I blinked, bewildered as I stared at his action. Heechul-hyung’s reaction was not quite different as well.

Is he so tired to the point where he talks and acts recklessly?   

“Heechul-hyung just asked me to have a meal with him,” I explained to him and he looked over, catching my eyes.

“A meal? Just..just the two of you?” he stuttered and I wondered what made him act that way.

“Wo~Take it easy, jealous monkey. I’m just about to ask you to come along because the other members said that they’re tired and they wanted to get some sleep. It’s going to be the three of us, not just Donghae and me,” Heechul hyung said and Hyukjae’s cheek tinged with pink.

He’s the one who’s being jealous right now?

 You should know how it feels, Hyukkie, when I saw you and Siwon were together earlier, being flirtatious and all that. The word ‘flirtatious’ may sounds a bit harsh but when people are in an activity which involves talking and  laughing shyly, I just assumed that it’s true.

I just hope that it’s not, though.

“Ohoho~are you worried that some romance might occur between me and Donghae if we’re alone?” I heard Heechul-hyung said and for some reason, me too, slowly turned pink as I felt my cheeks burning, but not as obvious as Hyukjae.

“Didn’t you say that we’re going to have a meal? I’m hungry, so let’s go!” Hyukjae uttered and clutched my hand while dragging me away, leaving the smirking Heechul-hyung behind.

“Yah! Don’t leave me!” Heechul-hyung shouted and jogged up to follow us.   

******

Donghae’s POV

Sunlight steamed into the window, signalling that it was already morning and I had to get up from bed. I forced myself to open my eyes slowly as I rubbed my eyes with my fists. I took a glance at the clock and ready to continue another day but my body completely froze when I noticed a figure was standing at the door, peeking or should I say, observing me while I was sleeping.

He flustered and walked away at once when he realized that he was caught.

********

“Oh, Hyukkie, you think you can pull of your crime and act innocent?” I asked Hyukjae as I sat beside him and patted his back lightly.

We’re at the living room, watching the television. Both of us had no schedule that afternoon, leaving only the two of us in the dorm. The atmosphere was in deep silent and I took it as a perfect time to tease the monkey about what happened earlier in the morning.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugged and gave me his innocent look.

“I have a new nickname for you, Eunhyukkie,” I blurted, earning a confused look from him.

“Does Lee Hyukjae the stalker sounds good?” I laughed and he stiffed as he did not know what to say or how to react and seeing him like that, my lips slowly curved into a smile.

“If you want to sleep with me, just go ahead. No need to stalk me like that,” I said and he shook his head.

“Oh! That..  Leeteuk-hyung told me to wake you up this morning. I was just about to wake you up and since you’re already awake..” he reasoned out and I wasn’t a fool to actually believe what he said, and yet, I decided to change the topic because I knew to well that he won’t tell the truth no matter how much I force him.

“Aish! Look what you are watching! Is there no better thing to watch rather than this?” I asked him while searching for the remote control on the sofa but failed. I looked up to him and he was poking his inner cheek, trying not to suppress any laughter.

“Yah! You’re hiding the remote control, aren’t you!? I yelled and I could see the remote control in his hand behind his back.
 

“No, I’m not!” he yelled back, obviously lying and I tried to snatched the remote away but he grabbed on it tightly, as if his life depended on that thing. Soon enough, we were arguing about who should deserve watching television while fighting over the remote control.

“Let me watch this one, will you? Why you even bother me on the first place? I was enjoying the show and suddenly, you chipped in. I got the control of the television first! Have you heard the saying, ‘first come, first serve!?” he shouted while pulling the remote control.

“I’m so busy lately and I hardly watch television and now, I’m the free! Don’t be so mean! What does the saying have to with us anyway? This television is publicly used and it means anyone, ANYONE, including me, can watch the television! No rules on who can watch it first or whatsoever!” I yelled while pulling the remote control back but it’s not like I wanted to watch it anyway. I just wanted to annoy him and have his attention, like always.

“Give me!”

“No! Go away!”

I was surprised by the strength he was giving and when he pulled the remote, I fall on him with his back on the couch’s arm.

And my chest, on his.

We stayed in that position for a second, with my eyes locked onto his and I moved away when my heart started to thump faster and since my chest was lying on his, I could feel he was too.

“Mian,” I muttered as I fix my position, blushing to myself.

“It’s..it’s okay,” he mumbled and stood up, “I’m going to take a nap,” he said while pointing to his room and walked way.

Stupid Donghae! Why do I have to argue with him and lead us to this awkward situation again!?

********

There wasn’t anything interesting to watch so I decided to take a nap too and just when I passed by Hyukjae’s room, his door was slightly opened, revealing a peacefully-looking figure who was lying on the bed, in a deep sleep.

I didn’t want to disturb him but the thought was wiped away, when he shifted his position a few times and settled down by facing in my direction. I never thought that he could get any cuter but then, he crinkled his nose and I could only bit my lip, controlling myself from pinching his cheeks. I smiled to myself and when I realized, I was tiptoeing towards him slowly, careful not to make any sound to disturb his beauty sleep.

Gently, I laid beside him and pulled him to an embrace. I glanced down at Hyukjae’s head, which was resting peacefully on my chest. He flinched when he felt my hands hauled him closer and he opened his eyes and looked up to me, “Donghae..?”

I shushed him, placing my finger on his lips as he stared at me and blinked a few times, still half-conscious. With an undeniable smile on my face, I his hair gently, whispering, “Go back to sleep, Hyukkie, don’t mind me. I’m here because I want to watch you sleep.”

Surprisingly, he nodded without protest and snuggled closer. After a few minutes, he drifted back to sleep and I was still by his side, hugging him tighter, didn’t want anything to separate us. I embraced him for a long time, tightly but full of love, as if showing how deep my love for him by not letting go of him, even though I knew it was visibly wrong.

I closed my eyes as I felt my heart beating wildly like a drum, harsh but somehow, pleasantly and I grinned to myself on how much I love the feeling. The mystery of why my heart reacted that way when I hugged him, or much louder if he hugged me, slowly subsided as unexpected moments and awkward times came between us. It made me realize what was happening to me. I was no longer curious over these things, as I knew too well that it could only meant one thing.

There was a difference, a huge difference from what I thought we had.

It’s not just a mere friendship, I should have known it, but of course, it couldn’t be more than that, either.

I started to feel it and I’m sure, as time goes by, it will grow bigger and deeper and until that time comes, I’ll wait for it. Someday, who knows, I might probably open my heart to accept what has been bothering me all this long.

The love that I’ve been trying to deny all this time.

Eunhyuk’s POV

I woke up that afternoon with Donghae by my side. It was disgusting to know that I was actually sharing a bed with a man called my best friend.

Love.

It was the only thing that prevented me from kicking him out of the bed recklessly and I knew I couldn’t afford to push him away although I barely had space for myself. Maybe, it’s true that love can change people and seeing the way I treat him, I must have love him more that I thought.

“Donghae-yah! How long are you going to get ready?” I shouted and as we were waiting for Donghae outside the dorm, alongside with other members. Everyone gathered to have a dinner at a nearby restaurant, except for Donghae who took a million years just to get ready.

“Arasso! I’ll be there in a minute!” he responded.

“Don’t make me cook you for dinner, Fishy!” Heechul-hyung yelled as he crossed his arms, leaning over the wall. He was getting impatient and he sent a deathly glare to the innocent door as if burning a hole onto it.

He walked out of the dorm and joined the rest of us while we had our eyes fixed on him.

Unbelievable.

He was just wearing a simple t-shirt with a white coloured jacket, a black jeans and a white beanie. That’s all. It took him almost half an hour to decide on wearing that thing?

“I thought you’re going to wear tuxedo with all that wasted time,” Kyuhyun smirked and Yesung-hyung nodded slowly.

“Although I’m always against Kyuhyun, but that evil magnae has a point,” Yesung-hyung added.

Kyuhyun just smiled, “Thank you,”

“I had some problems because I can’t decide on what to wear. I want to dress casually but I think I have to maintain my image too. Well, I’m an idol so looks are important,” he explained.

“Then what am I? I’m more famous that you are!” Heechul-hyung snorted while Donghae pouted.

“It’s great that you want to take care of your image, but can’t expose ourselves to the public. You don’t want fans, chasing us while eating, do you?” Leeteuk-hyung asked him and he grinned like an idiot when realization hit him.

“Forgot about that part,” he smiled cutely.

I decided to step up and calm the whole situation down and approached Donghae.

“Aish, look how careless you are. Your jacket’s collar is crooked. You should be more careful,” I murmured as I fixed his jacket’s collar. I stopped my action at once when my heart pounded louder as I felt he was staring at me. He was being silent, not a single word escaped his lips and when I looked at him, he was staring at me, in daze.

“Um..Hae?”

“Hmm?” he responded.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I blurted out and he didn’t hesitate at all, instead, he put his hands on my shoulder and smiled weakly.

“Nothing,”

******

“These are delicious-oh! This one too..I really thing you should eat this,” Donghae blabbered while throwing all kinds of food into my bowl.

“Donghae, I know I eat a lot, but this seems too much,” I blurted and held his wrist to stop his action that was about to put a piece of meat into my bowl. He sighed deeply and put his chopstick down.

“You’re getting skinnier these days. You think I didn’t notice, did you? You skipped breakfast earlier, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t really hungry this morning. Besides, I’m not in the mood for eating,” I reasoned out.

Yeah, of course I wasn’t. Not if I barely had a sleep last night and it seemed that the image of Donghae didn’t want to disappear from my mind the whole night. I bugged me a lot, actually, both mentally and physically. I lacked of sleep although I was very tired and me, myself, was confused on why my brain won’t cooperate when I warned it to stop thinking about him. Truthfully, I’m confused of myself.

So, I decided to peep into his room and for some reason, I was relieved once I got to see him, peacefully sleeping. A question popped into my mind that moment.

Did I miss him that much?

I was so busy thinking of the possibilities that it might be the reason when he woke up and tilted his head a bit, narrowing his eyes at me. That’s when I got myself a new nickname.

“Now, open your mouth,” Donghae said and held his chopstick, trying to feed me with a piece of meat.

“I’m not doing this, Hae. Not with other people watching,”

“What do mean, “with other people watching?” People are used to see us in this condition, and sometimes, even worse. We’re Eunhae, remember?” he said calmly and gave me one of his puppy eyes look. He knew well my weakness and I unconsciously opened my mouth, letting him do as he pleases. He grinned and I just smiled back.

How can I ignore him although my heart is starting to have doubts on my very own feelings about him?

******

Donghae’s POV

That morning was the day I anticipated the most. Well, not exactly but that day, I decided that it’s better to admit it and stop my brain from getting more, and more confused by Hyukjae’s presence, and surprisingly, my own feelings. I had to do it, before it becomes too painful for me to handle. I was afraid, of course I was.

The feeling I was having could shred my heart into million pieces and lead chaos to our friendship that we have built and protect for years.

“Leeteuk-hyung, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked him and approached him while he was watching the tv in the living room.

He gave a faint smile and followed me into our room.

*****

“I know we promised to tell Hyukjae when it’s time, which is tomorrow, but can we tell him some other time?” I asked him nervously and he turned to look at me.

“Are you saying that we shouldn’t tell him that we made a bet on him?” he asked, but he didn’t sound like he asking it out of curiosity, but in a teasing manner which seemed odd. I didn’t pay attention much because I was dealing on something more important; my feeling for Hyukjae.

“It’s not that. I just..” I scanned my brain to find appropriate words just to explain my situation, “It’s just, not tomorrow. I’ll tell him myself later, but please not tomorrow,” I pleaded and he placed his hand on my back, patting it slightly.

“Alright then,” he smiled.

“Tell me why, though,” he added, fixing his eyes on me sternly.

I let out a deep sigh, “I’m scared on how he would react. I need some time to explain it to him, because I don’t want him to get hurt. He’s sensitive. I don’t think I’m ready to tell him that I made some sort of bet on him to make him fall for me. He wouldn’t believe it and probably, think that I purposely messing with his feeling,” I said and Leeteuk-hyung just nodded, completely understand.

A well-familiar voice came out of nowhere and I felt the world stop for a moment. I was panic, but I couldn’t move either. I felt my heart sank when I turned around and found the guy I wished I wouldn’t be seeing, stood in front of the door with an unreadable face. I could see one thing from I saw, though. It showed; disappointment.

“I’m a part of a bet?” Hyukjae’s words were practically jabbing my heart and everything I’ve done turned to regret.

How I wish I didn’t discus this thing with Leeteuk-hyung and get us caught in the middle of the conversation, how I wish I didn’t agree on the bet on the first placed and now, he would think that I’m such a loser for trying to make him fall in love with me.

How I wish I didn’t develop this warm, secure, yet, painful feeling for him.

“Hyukjae..” I muttered weakly when he eyed me grimly, as if he was going to skin me alive.

“I’M ASKING A QUESTION HERE, DONGHAE! AM I A PART OF A BET?” he asked, highlighting every word that nearly made me cry of fear. His eyes flashed with hurt and I felt my neck muscles tighten into little balls.

Slowly, I mustered all courage I had and opened my mouth to respond to his question, “Yes.”

‘Yes’ was all I could say. I didn’t want to deny it any longer because I knew to well that I need to make myself realize that what I was feeling for him was not something I should feel.

His face turned into a stone and after a few seconds, he turned around and walked away without a single word.

A finger of guilt curled around my heart and I was about to go after him and probably, hating myself if he didn’t forgive me for what I have done but then, Leeteuk-hyung stopped me.

“Let him be. He needs some time alone,” he said and I obeyed him since I knew he always knows the best.

*****

We settled over at the couch and tears unconsciously spilled over my eyes, running through my cheeks non-stopping when I thought about the consequences me Hyukjae and I might face in our friendship.

“What if he doesn’t forgive me, hyung? What if I just lost his trust on me and he wouldn’t treat me the same way he did?” I kept on throwing possibilities that might happen although I wasn’t so sure what he felt about me. Of course, love was an exception because it would never happen the way I wanted it to be.

Hyukjae, loving me? That was the most idiotic thing I could ever wish it would happen.

“Donghae, why are you so scared? Hyukjae is not hot-tempered and you know he doesn’t even have the heart to get angry at you. It doesn’t matter if you annoy him or bully him, he loves you so much that he won’t get mad at you,” he said calmly while patting my back.

“I’m afraid. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m worried if he avoids me and we won’t be together like we used to. The thought of not having him with me scares me too death,” I said and bit my lip in hatred for saying those kinds of things in front of our leader.

“Hyung..” my voice trailed off as I found my way to explain about the confusion inside of me.

“I think..I think I’m in love with Hyukjae,”

******

hi there~~^^

sorry for the late update~~T_T

this chapter is pretty long,isn't it~~i was planning to update this one last monday,but i was a bit busy and then, i completely forgot about it~~LOL