Chaewon was worried. Hyejoo hadn’t shown up to class, and wasn’t answering her texts. As soon as first period was over, Chaewon shoved her notebook into her bag and essentially bolted out of the classroom so she could call Hyejoo. 

After a few rings, she heard the other girl’s voice, but not in the way she’d wanted.

“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Hyejoo Ha… You know what to do.”

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. What if something had happened to the other girl? She pulled out her phone, scrolling through her texts with Hyejoo- she remembered she’d been to Hyejoo’s dorm room once but couldn’t remember its exact number.

“34B,” she said under her breath, as she started running through the building, bumping into a few students on the way out.

By the time she reached Hyejoo’s dorm, she was panting and completely out of breath. She stopped for a few seconds, catching her breath.

“I really need to exercise more often,” she told herself as she navigated the corridors leading to Hyejoo’s dorm room.

Once she found it, she hesitantly knocked on the door.

“Hyejoo?” She asked, but got no answer. She started knocking more frantically, “Hyejoo! Please open up!”

After a minute or so, the door opened to reveal a groggy Hyejoo- she had bags under her eyes, her hair was tousled and Chaewon couldn’t help but notice the scars on Hyejoo’s wrist as the other girl ran a hand through her hair.

“Chaewon?” She sleepily asked, “What are you doing here?” she said, before yawning. She’d clearly just woken up.

“I-I got worried when you didn’t show up to class,” Chaewon started, “Thought you might have done something stupid;” she said, giving Hyejoo and sheepish smile and rubbing her arm.

“Well,” Hyejoo motioned for Chaewon to come in, which the other girl gladly did, “I stayed up all night so I decided to skip class to get some rest.”

Chaewon raised an eyebrow at that comment, causing Hyejoo to sigh. She sat down on her bed, burying her face in her hands.

“Fine,” she said, nervously playing with her hands, “I was planning on killing myself,” she looked away, focusing her gaze on the floor.

Chaewon’s brows furrowed, “Hyejoo…” she softly said. She did not have the words to make the other girl feel better- she knew how bad it must have been for the other girl, but had no idea how to handle any of this.

“Don’t,” Hyejoo raised her hand, causing Chaewon to fall silent.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a minute, Chaewon’s mind churning for ways to make Hyejoo feel better. As if a lightbulb had been in her head, Chaewon suddenly had an idea. She sat up and grabbed Hyejoo’s hand, pulling her out of the bed. 

“Wha-“ Hyejoo protested, shocked at how tight the other girl’s grip was, “What are you doing?” 

“Put your shoes on, we’re spending the day together.”

“We have class though…”

Chaewon rolled her eyes then shook her head at that comment. The idea of going to class was far behind her now, and she thought the other girl’s well being was more important than some chemistry classes- she could always ask someone for their notes or check the learning management system for her teacher’s notes.

“I don’t care,” she said, “You’re coming with me. We’re going to my room, and we’re going to talk, and do stuff. Understood?”

Hyejoo sighed, “Can you at least let me get dressed? I’m still in my pyjamas,” she said, getting up and walking towards her closet.

Chaewon waited outside for a minute before Hyejoo came out.

Neither of them talked on the way to Chaewon’s dorm. Chaewon held on to Hyejoo’s hand the whole way, as if scared the other girl might slip away. Hyejoo didn’t seem to mind, and even tightened her grip on Chaewon’s hand on occasion.

“We’re here,” Chaewon said, letting go of Hyejoo’s hand to grab her keys in her pocket. She found herself missing the warmth of the girl’s hand, but felt it would be weird to comment on it, so she didn’t.

She opened the door, motioning for Hyejoo to come in, which the other girl gladly did. She took her shoes off and sat legs crossed on the floor. Chaewon soon did the same thing, kicking her shoes off to the side of the door and sitting legs crossed in front of Hyejoo.

“So,” Chaewon began, “What’s wrong? I’m not forcing you to give me an answer, I’m just asking, as your friend.”

“You barely even know me,” Hyejoo pointed out, retreating into herself, “You’re just my lab partner.”

“Listen,” Chaewon said, reaching out to touch Hyejoo’s knee, “I care about you, believe it or not.”

“Fine,” Hyejoo sighed, not removing Chaewon’s hand, “I just feel like I’m too much.”

“You’re not too much. I’ve told you yesterday or this morning or whatever, people care about you. And you being ill mentally does not make you too much for anyone. Ask Yerim, I bet she still cares greatly about you, even though you two don’t really talk anymore; she was- and still is your best friend and has been since kindergarten, come on.”

“No, I don’t believe you. No one cares about me.”

“Hyejoo, I really think you need to talk to a professional.”

Hyejoo then removed Chaewon’s hand from her knee and got up, “I knew it, I knew it, you also think I’m crazy,” she started walking towards the door.

Chaewon also got up, pulling Hyejoo by the hem of her hoodie, “I don’t think you’re crazy at all,” she said, and meant every word. She may not have been an expert on mental illness- after all, she was only a chemistry major, but she knew it did not make someone insane to be suffering.

Hyejoo stopped dead in her tracks, “You don’t?” 

Chaewon shook her head, “In fact, you’re probably more sane than I am. Come on, let’s get boba.”

The two went to get bubble tea, wandering around town and talked about the possibility of Hyejoo seeing a professional for her mental health.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Hyejoo said, sipping on her drink, and looking down at her feet, “I just wish I could get better.”

“You will,” Chaewon said, the other girl’s arm, “I believe in you.”

Hyejoo smiled at the other girl, putting her drink in her left hand and grabbing Chaewon’s hand with her right one, "I like holding hands with you. It makes me feel safe,' she shyly said, looking down at her feet once again. 

Chaewon felt the heat rise to her cheeks, "Chin up, Hyejoo," she energetically said, causing Hyejoo to look at her, perplexed, "I wanna look at your pretty face," she said, and she was sure she was full on blushing now. Hyejoo gave her a shy smile, and did not look down the rest of the way to Chaewon's dorm room.

Chaewon immediately took her shoes off and laid down on her bed, her back against the wall.

“I realised I keep talking about myself,” Hyejoo said, laying down next to Chaewon and looking her in the eye, “Tell me more about yourself.”

“Well, I’m Chaewon but you know that,” she said, and Hyejoo sent her a smile, causing her the heat to rise up to her cheeks once again, “I was born on November nineteenth-”

“Oh!” Hyejoo interrupted her, “I was born on November thirteenth,” She chuckled, “Isn’t that funny?”

Chaewon was just glad to see her smile, “Yeah I mean, wow, you’re only six days older than me,” she smiled back, “Just don’t make me call you unnie because I won’t.”

Hyejoo playfully rolled her eyes at Chaewon, “Don’t worry, I won’t- but I don't have any siblings, I really wish I did, though... When I was a child, I would beg my moms to adopt another child, and they'd tell me 'It's not that simple, Hyejoo'," she smiled fondly at the memory.

"That's funny, I also have two moms," Chaewon said, "And I have a sister who was born like, one month before me day for day, and she used to yell for our parents everytime I didn't call her unnie- it was so annoying. And they'd be like 'Heejin, your sister doesn't have to call you unnie', but she wouldn't get it," she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, so maybe having a sibling isn't all it's cracked up to be," Hyejoo cringed, "Anyways, what’s your favourite colour?” she excitedly asked.

“Teal,” Chaewon answered without hesitation, “How about you?”

“Grey,” she said, “I know it’s weird, but it’s a great colour.”

“It’s great, just like you,” Chaewon said, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.