🥎 🥎 🥎

Of all things, it started with a ball in the face. It was an accident, of course, but preteen girls often did not care about the specifics. At least, preteen Byun Baekhyun did not care about the specifics. 

Baekhyun had been playing softball ever since she grew aware of her own life. In fact, one of her first memories was of her older brother teaching her how to hold a bat properly. She had been watching her brother practice hitting on the tee with their father, growing jealous of the attention. After all, she wanted to be involved too. In typical four-year-old fashion, she toddled her way to the tee after their father stepped out to call their mother about dinner, making an effort to swing like Baekbeom. (If their father came back to see his son teaching his daughter with disgruntled, but determined looks in their eyes, that's between him, his wife, and their message history.)

When she became older, rather than grow out of the sport like her brother, she continued to commit to everything related to softball. She learned how to pitch once her youth coach saw her look of longing toward an older girl practicing at the mound, her cleats stained with dirt as she stepped into her pitch. The resounding smack as the ball was caught, and the girl’s subsequent triumph solidified Baekhyun’s decision. 

It was to be expected that Baekhyun would play travel once her youth team could no longer accommodate her skill and desire to play. She knew she had the talent to at least be on the team, even if she could not be on the starting lineup. As tryouts approached, Baekhyun's resolve steeled. No matter what happened, Baekhyun expected to play softball with extremely talented girls by the end of the day.

What was not expected, however, was the annoying catcher at tryouts.

Frankly, Baekhyun did not notice the girl until they were paired up for an exercise. Specifically, a pitching exercise. Coach took note of Baekhyun's accuracy and power when pitching with the nets. Wanting to see how she would fare with a catcher rather than a net, he paired the two girls for a couple of pitches on the field as the rest of the players followed another coach for more drills.

Waiting for the other girl to put on her catcher's gear, Baekhyun headed to the pitching circle. The dirt was still new, the impression of her cleats leaving an obvious trail of holes behind her. She was still warm from the earlier throwing exercises, but that didn't stop her from completing her entire ritual.

Baekhyun dragged her foot between the pitcher's line and the edge of the lane, creating a slight divot. Obviously, Baekhyun had pitched with a live catcher before but this girl was new. Other than her whiny tone as she joked with the other players, Baekhyun literally knew nothing about her. At least, that she remembered. (What she observed during the tryouts notwithstanding. She always studied potential teammates or opponents to analyze their strengths and weaknesses. So what if Baekhyun took note of her excellent reaction time during the hitting drills or her speed as she flew from base to base.) 

She grabbed a ball from the bucket next to the pitching circle, smacking it against her glove until she noticed the girl returning in full gear. While it was difficult to see the other's face behind the catcher's mask, it didn't take an M.D. to notice the sheer confidence the girl possessed. Her relaxed stance as she settled behind home plate, glove between her legs, sparked a flame in Baekhyun's chest. 

The goddamn nerve of this girl.

"Took you long enough," Baekhyun quipped as she continued smacking the ball in her glove and vaguely mapping her step. Never mind that it hadn't been more than five minutes. 

"So Miss Regal can't wait three minutes. Good to know." Baekhyun can just visualize the condescending smirk behind that mask. 

"Unlike some people, I take these tryouts seriously." The smack of the ball hitting her glove a final time did little to quench the burning in her chest.

"Having fun and being serious aren't mutually exclusive, Princess." 

If Baekhyun almost missed her pitch, the ball landing higher than she aimed for, that was between her and the gods. 

At least the girl had a mask on. Baekbeom would have laughed at her misery if she ended up compensating the other for dental surgery. 

She definitely would not have made the team if that happened. 

🥎 🥎 🥎

After tryouts, Baekhyun tried to pack up as quickly as possible. Her brother wasn't coming to pick her up until after his ASB meeting but she couldn't stay when the catcher girl was standing there nonchalantly, a fresh bruise smack dab on the bridge of her nose.

Her hands slightly trembled as she secured her cleats in her bag. Baekhyun prayed to every deity known to man that the initial pitch did not screw over her chance to play travel ball. Not after everything she worked for. 

Sure, the catcher girl laughed it off with a "nice aim!" after the whole ordeal, continuing with the exercise as normal. But what reasonable coach would want a pitcher that missed the mark so egregiously and almost broke the nose of another player at tryouts? What would she tell her parents, especially her father?

Burning eyes aside, Baekhyun tried to shuffle off to the parking lot, fully planning on crying by the curb alone. Key word: tried. 

"Oi, Princess!" 

Oh no. 

Despite the heavy gear bag absolutely dwarfing this girl's frame, she barely looked winded when she ran up to Baekhyun, phone in hand. "I haven't gotten your number for the group chat yet! Don't think you can escape from me that easily!" 

Baekhyun blinked. "Why?" Was this a new intimidation tactic? To taunt her about the painful what-ifs? 

The girl paused in scrolling through her contacts, tilting her head slightly at Baekhyun. "So all the girls on the team can contact each other easily? It would be incredibly inefficient for Cap to text all of us 'practice at five' individually."

Baekhyun's eye twitched at her implication. "I mean why get my number if you don't know that I'll be on the team?" As emphasis, Baekhyun's gaze briefly pointed at the girl's nose. 

Without skipping a beat, the catcher asserted, "You are definitely going to be on the team." She waved a hand in dismissal as she continued to scroll through her phone before clicking on a new contact. Contrary to her earlier demeanor, the girl's cat-like smile sparkled as she offered her phone to a stunned Baekhyun. "Trust me, Princess. My gut hasn't failed me yet! Now, what's your number?" 

Later that night, Baekhyun was added to "mama cap's chickadees" and "SERIOUS SOFTBALL BUSINESS ONLY." If she only looked at the chat once the official tryout results were out, scrolling through backlogs of softball memes and cheesy Facebook inspirational quotes—a good number of which were from the same person—that's on her. 

Also, she would be lying if she didn't say that her cheeks warmed upon seeing the notification:

🥎 🥎 🥎

To Baekhyun’s utter dismay, Kim Jongdae was a literal barnacle. Never mind the fact that they spent countless hours at travel ball practice or exchanging random cat memes throughout the day, but she just had to attend the same high school as Baekhyun as well. Of course, she didn’t find this out until tryouts. 

The jerk didn’t even bother to tell her until she gaped like a fish at the stands after dressing out. 

Baekhyun suddenly wanted to take back the good luck text and sticker she sent earlier that morning. 

“Careful, Princess. You’ll catch flies,” Jongdae chuckled as she tied her cleats on the stand. She even wore her lucky socks—a ratty pair with a poorly photoshopped lizard head on a politician from god-knows-what century—for this tryout. (Not that she needed it, but Baekhyun would rather third-wheel her brother and his girlfriend than admit to Jongdae that she’s an amazing player.) 

Cutting to the chase, Baekhyun asked, “Didn’t you tell me that you were going to play with the Spartans? You know, as you told me all throughout junior high? What are you doing here?” Obviously, Baekhyun had grown accustomed to playing on the same team as Jongdae throughout their years on the travel team. It didn’t take long for the pair to move up as starters, beating out the more senior players with their innate cohesion on the field. The cocky jerk never failed to annoy the hitters at the plate by isolating and exploiting their batting weaknesses. Combined with her excellent awareness of knowing instantly which type of pitch Baekhyun will throw at her, the pair had become quite the dynamic duo on the field. 

Thus, she prepared to steel herself against the inevitability of being the batter at the plate, the subject of Jongdae’s frightening gaze. Sure, they would still play travel together on the same team. However, a part of her grew tense at the idea of actively playing against each other for the high school season. 

“Oh, um…” The catcher trailed, having the gall to look embarrassed. “There was a change in plans.” If Baekhyun didn’t know better, she would say that the girl’s cheeks were flushed a sweet pink. The heat probably?

Baekhyun swallowed to hide the hurt in her voice. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Chuckling, Jongdae sheepishly smiled, “I… wanted it to be a surprise? Honest, the change came recently and I was gonna tell you. You seemed bummed out as the season approached and I wanted to make you smile.” As if to emphasize her point, the girl playfully whined, “I’ll have you know of the excellent restraint I had in texting you hints throughout this week!” 

Without waiting for a response, the teen walked over to a still-frozen Baekhyun to help her find an empty spot on the stands to place her stuff. “Besides,” she said, playing around with Baekhyun’s League of Legends charm on her bag, watching the other girl tie her own cleats. “I can’t miss out on playing with my favorite pitcher. I get jealous, ya know?” 

As the rest of the girls settled at the stands, returning from the locker room, the coach began the usual logistics and “just try your best!” talk. If Baekhyun zoned out, going through the motions of years of muscle memory, throughout the rest of the tryouts, it was most definitely the heat.

🥎 🥎 🥎

“Genuinely, I’m really sorry about not telling you earlier.” 

Tryouts had ended and Baekhyun (read: her brother), being the kind person she was, offered to drive Jongdae home. The sun peaked over the horizon as the girls sat on the curb waiting for Baekbeom in the parking lot. 

Baekhyun paused in drinking her water bottle, surprised at the rare seriousness in the catcher’s voice. “It really is no big deal,” she cleared , gaze focusing on the bits of lone asphalt next to her. “You don’t have to tell me what you’re doing with your life.” 

“I know you don’t really like surprises but I got excited. I’m sorry for not considering that.” The sound of a zipper following a piece of paper flooding her vision forced Baekhyun to look up. Jongdae looked incredibly different—a good different even—with skittish eyes and pink dusting her cheeks. “I was going to give this to you as a ‘Hey it’s me! Please don’t be sad!’ gift once we met. Don’t ask me where I got it, but I thought of you.” 

Baekhyun resisted the urge to squeeze the other—she was sweaty and smelly—at the sight of an 80% discount on any cake of choice at her favorite bakery every Saturday until the end of the year. The same bakery that the travel team had frequented to hide from Cap’s scolding and to indulge in sugar. However, more often than not, Baekhyun and Jongdae themselves had gone together to hang out after Saturday practice.

“It should save your dad’s money from the ungodly amount you spend on strawberry and creme cakes every time we hang out. At least once a week.” 

“Excuse me, Miss ‘I deep-fry everything under the sun. Even Oreos.’ Spending money on strawberry and creme cake is far from ungodly.” 

“Oi, Princess! Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” 

Several months later, Baekhyun would still stand by her statement as she watched her eventual girlfriend squeal at the two orders of fried Oreos the former had bought in between games. It was so incredibly unhealthy and cholesterol-inducing that Coach would cry seeing them eat it.

However, Baekhyun would trade her strawberry and creme cakes for this if only to bask in the catcher’s sunshine for a moment longer. 

When asked by Jongdae if she was paying attention to the game they were watching, continuing their usual competition of guessing other teams’ signals, Baekhyun hummed absently. The score between them at the moment was 2-4, with Baekhyun taking the lead. She was fine with sacrificing a point to stare at her beloved rather than the first base coach adjusting her hat in between hand wipes. It was obviously a steal but for Baekhyun’s purposes, she guessed a hold. To see a familiar cheeky smile once the player proceeded to subsequently steal a base was definitely worth it.

Yes, even after the scolding from Cap about healthy eating habits when they returned to their team to warm up for their last game of the day.

🥎 🥎 🥎

Baekhyun was no stranger to injury. She was an athlete. Her childhood was littered with countless bruises and sprains. One bruise in particular strangely took the shape of a dolphin, her brother taking a marker to draw the outline and face for their own amusement. She knew the importance of warming up and protecting her body from extensive harm.

But this ACL tear had to be one of the worst injuries that she had to date. Considering her sport, it is a surprise that she made it well into high school before tearing the ligament. Frankly, she took pride in it, to Jongdae’s annoyance. 

Karma, however, was a . 

To her embarrassment, she didn’t even tear her ACL from softball. No. In fact, to mock her, the gods had graced her with the injury from being too cocky of all things. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to challenge her brother in a competition to carry his boxes to his new apartment that he shared with his fiancée. Maybe she should have anticipated tripping over the stairs when she tried to lug up a Jenga tower of Baekbeom’s belongings, landing awkwardly on her knee when she tried to catch herself. But hindsight is 20/20. 

As if the situation could not get any worse, she tore her ACL right at the beginning of her last high school season. Though a minor tear, she still had to sit out for the season to heal after her surgery. According to her father, she should recover in time for the university season. Unless, of course, she continued to do reckless things that she and her twenty-three-year-old brother knew better than to do. 

The distraught on Jongdae’s face, when Baekhyun face-timed her from the hospital, was heart-wrenching. That distraught, however, quickly shifted to anger.

“I am going to smack your brother when I return from Korea,” her girlfriend declared as she washed her face before bed, making cute but displeased mumbles as she applied her facial serums and creams. For as long as they had known each other, the catcher took the time to visit her brother’s family in South Korea each spring break. Due to their age difference of thirteen years, Kim Jongdeok was like a second father to Jongdae. Especially after their own died before Jongdae was out of diapers. Even when he moved back to Korea after university, Jongdae was forever “Jongdeok’s first baby” as she so delicately described. “I don’t care if he is ten centimeters taller than me. Did all of his brain cells fuse to Sohee when they moved in together?” 

“As if you are better with Jongdeok,” Baekhyun retorted. She shifted on the hospital bed for a better position to no avail. At least she was going home soon. If she was going to waste away on her , she’d rather do it at home cuddling her corgi Mongryong while watching softball games of her future university. 

“One, you cannot compare me being a brat with Jongdeok to you right now. He was way too overprotective for me to get into half of the you and Baekbeom get into. Two, don’t change the subject, Princess! You’re going to be in crutches, Baek! Your knee might never be the same again.” 

With a sigh, Baekhyun sat up straight on the bed, eyes hardened with resolve despite the heaviness of unease in her chest. She’ll be self-deprecating later. “Baby, I’ll be okay. It’ll take more than a minor ACL tear to take me out of the game. I’ll be better before you know it.”

“I’m not worried about softball.” Jongdae paused in her routine to stare at her phone, leaning closer to the camera. Her eyes were blown with concern, her lips taking an unnatural frown. “I’m worried about you, Princess. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle staying on the bench until next season?” 

A warmth bloomed deep within Baekhyun. God, she loved this girl. “Of course. I’m still going to each game, even if I have to be in the stands. Someone has to keep you in line since Cap clearly can’t do it on her own.” 

“And whose fault is that when a certain someone keeps goading me on the field?” 

“That’s beside the point.”

They talked until Jongdae was physically unable to stay awake on the call. It was well past her usual bedtime. Before she dozed off, Jongdae sleepily mumbled, “You better... get better soon. You’re my pitcher. I need you.” 

Light snores filtered through the speaker as Baekhyun sadly gazed at her dark screen. To deaf ears, she whispered, “Of course, baby. Of course.”

🥎 🥎 🥎

Months later, Baekhyun remembered her promise as she stepped into yet another botched pitch. She frowned at the muted thud from the ball colliding with the net. Too high. “At least this one made it in the net,” she joked half-heartedly. The neon balls surrounding the pitching net were a testament to how the training session was unfolding. 

To Baekhyun’s knowledge, Jongdae was out with her non-softball friends at the moment. It was the perfect time to sneak a solo training session after months on the bench. She wasn’t stupid, of course. She wouldn’t push herself. She just needed to move after sitting on her just watching. 

Baekhyun underestimated just how stir-crazy she’d be. Within a month on crutches, desires to burn her knee brace and bones flooded her thoughts. Realistically, she knew that recovery took time, but the weeks on her slowed her perception to a snail’s pace. Jongdae, of course, felt terrible at her misery. Bless her heart, she did her best to include the injured girl when she personally trained. However, no amount of simply throwing a ball around will satisfy Baekhyun’s craving for the burn in her calves and arms after a good game of softball. 

For this quick session, she aimed to retain at least some of her accuracy when pitching, revisiting familiar movements to prepare her body for the upcoming season. Grabbing another ball from the bucket next to her, Baekhyun returned to her beginning stance on the pitcher’s line. One last pitch before calling it a night. It wouldn’t be long until she couldn’t ignore her throbbing knee. 

“You’re going to become injured again at this rate,” a voice called from the stands. The silhouette of a teenage girl in an oversized hoodie, crossing her arms, halted Baekhyun in her tracks. Well, there goes that last pitch, unless she was in the mood to hear an earful. 

Setting the ball back into the bucket, Baekhyun started to clean up. “I thought you had a girls’ night with your choir friends.” 

“And I thought you were chilling at Baekbeom’s house for League night.” With a shake of her head, Jongdae headed toward the field to help Baekhyun clean up. Disassembling the pitcher’s net, she explained, “Girls’ night got canceled. Wendy and Taeyeon caught the flu so we postponed until they got better. I texted you about popping in to join y'all. Imagine my surprise when I dropped by to find that Baekbeom hasn't seen you all night.”

“How’d you know I’d be out here?” 

Jongdae paused to stare at the pitcher, eyebrows furrowed. “That’s what you ask after everything? Princess, I’ve known you for years. Besides, there aren’t many places you’d be, especially now.” 

They packed up in silence, Baekhyun fetching the keys to the storage shed while Jongdae volunteered to carry the equipment back. As the former locks up the shed, the metal clicking as the padlock latches in place, she said, “I don’t intend to injure myself. I know my limits.” 

Despite still crossing her arms, the tension in Jongdae’s shoulders eased. Her eyes softened upon seeing the trembling of Baekhyun’s body. “Normally, I would agree with you. But you have never been off your feet this long before. Sue me if I’m worried.”

Of course, Jongdae sensed the fall before Baekhyun’s knees gave out (god knows if she injured her knee again this year.) The floodgate of Baekhyun’s frustration and doubt broke as she sobbed in the other’s arms. Her head pounded as Jongdae soothed sweet nothings and assurances, rubbing her hand on Baekhyun’s back and using the other to caress her head. Baekhyun focused on the comforting rhythm of her girlfriend’s heartbeat and the soothing touch of tender fingers combing through her hair.

“I have… to be better… next season,” she choked, “I did nothing this last year.” 

“Princess,” Jongdae cooed, never failing to stir up the butterflies in Baekhyun’s stomach, “You didn’t ‘do nothing.’ You were recovering, silly. Your body tirelessly worked to heal your knee this last year.” 

Calmer now, Baekhyun fiddled with the strings of Jongdae’s hoodie. Despite being slightly taller, her girlfriend was clearly broader, her hugs akin to strong, warm cocoons. Voice cracking, she whispered, “What if my body forgot how to play? What else do I have?”

A sweet kiss landed on her forehead. “Your body is stronger than you know. You're one of the most hardworking and talented pitchers in the high school circuit. Hell, you got a scholarship to be the starting pitcher at uni next year. As a first year! Princess, you are an amazing player and I have little doubt that you’ll spring back stronger than ever.” With a strong tug, Jongdae shifted their position to cup Baekhyun’s splotchy face. Using her thumb to wipe the tears flowing down her lover’s face, she placed a soft kiss on the latter’s nose. “Even if you had to retire, softball doesn’t define you, Baekhyun. You have people all around you that care so much about your well-being. Yes, I’m still a little pissed that Baekbeom caused you to be in this situation, but I know he feels bad seeing you in pain. Your whole family is rooting for your recovery, no matter where it takes you.”

Baekhyun remained silent as she nuzzled into Jongdae’s warm touch. She closed her eyes as another sob threatened to spill out. She felt the soft press of her beloved’s lips on her eyelid as the embrace surrounding her tightened. “Besides, Baekhyun,” a breath tickled the shell of her ear, “you still have me. I’m not going anywhere unless you make me.”

🥎 🥎 🥎

Of course, Baekhyun did the opposite of making Jongdae leave in their later years. In fact, the look on the latter’s face when she bent on one knee in the middle of the field at their last game as college students, will forever be painted in Baekhyun’s mind and imprinted in her heart. Especially her happy tears upon hearing, “Baby, you’ve always been there to catch my balls. Would you do me the honor of letting me take the reins to catch you in my arms on our wedding day?” 

Baekhyun will eventually see the day that she has to bid softball goodbye. She’ll stay in the game so long as her body is able to. After all, it’s been her life since she was four. However, when the time comes, at least she will have her catcher to be there at home plate.

fin

~~~

ENDING NOTES: 

Thank you so much for reading this! I haven’t felt joy writing for fun in a long time. These last few years have been personally hard and I’m glad to say that I’m stepping towards personal happiness.

So much has changed not only with myself and EXO (Jongin’s enlistment news broke my heart but it’s okay. OT9 COMEBACK WILL COME EVENTUALLY!!), but with the whole world as well. For me, I moved away from the source of my pain, allowing me to heal from my past; I found the anti-depressants that worked with my body; made new friends and connected with old ones; and so much more.

I wanted to use BBH as a representation for myself as I learned that your defining trait—or what you think is your defining trait—isn’t everything about you. While it isn’t softball for me (I did play for a time but that’s a story for another day), my mental health spiraled downward when I couldn’t adhere to my own expectations. For BBH, it was being a softball pitcher. For me, it was giving my 100% throughout school and leadership at the expense of my own well-being.

Now, I didn’t have my own KJD, at least, in the way I portrayed KJD in cmbif. But hey, that is what wish fulfillment is for.

I’m not promising anything for the future. My inspiration is extremely sporadic. However, I am in a better mental space to embrace my creativity for future fics. I actually have a bunch of notes of plot bunnies in my documents that I might get to one day.

With that being said, thank you once again for reading this. Comments and kudos are extremely appreciated!

As always, I’ll see you in the next fic!

Toodles!