It occurred to Yoohyeon after she ordered the same meal for the fifth week in a row on her delivery app that she needed some change. She decided to start small. A new coffee shop place could be nice. There was one Gahyeon had kept recommending, it was slightly out of her path from her work to her apartment, but she figured sometimes change required effort. 

It was actually in one of the “nice” districts, a polite word to say “too expensive for you.” 

You're exaggerating. With your pay you can totally afford those places, Gahyeon would say, and she wasn't completely wrong. That was one of the advantages of choosing computer engineering as a professional path. 

The coffee shop was nice. Full of people who knew how to act rich without flaunting it in everybody's face. Kim Yoohyeon with her beanie and skater girl hoodie was definitely a stand out. But at least she had the pay, she supposed. 

Sometimes she wished she had someone the way Gahyeon had Siyeon to give her some of her confidence. To help her feel like she belonged just by saying she did. 

The urge to leave that place became even more pressing the longer she stayed. It was like a physical reaction. As if everything around her was screaming at her that she was out of her depth, that she was missing the social cues to be able to enjoy this place. 

Her turn came to order the most basic Iced Americano out of all the fancy choices at her disposal. Yoohyeon barely looked at the shop lady when she handed her the cup. Eyes glued to the ground, she turned around sharply and made the first steps to walk out of the shop. She hadn't noticed that the person behind her in the line was so close. When she did, the collision was inevitable.

Her Americano spilled on the woman's jacket. In her misfortune, she was at least lucky the beverage was cold. 

“Oh-my-God-I'm-so-sorry,” Yoohyeon let out in one breath. 

Her cheeks warmed up and her ability to think abandoned her in one swoop. The woman clicked her tongue, obviously annoyed. The sound made Yoohyeon's skin crawl. She didn't dare to look at her in the eyes even though she could feel her stare burning her skin. 

“I will pay for the cleaner,” she blurted, bowing her head even lower. 

“No need for that, sweet heart, there's no harm done,” a deep honeyed voice answered. 

Yoohyeon could hear her smile through that sentence. For the first time she dared to meet the woman’s gaze and was surprised by a pair of hazel eyes sparkling  mischievously. 

“But your…” the young woman attempted shyly before she was brushed off by a wave of the hand.  

“What did you order,” the other asked, taking her half-emptied cup from her hands and putting it on the counter. 

“An Iced Americano,” Yoohyeon answered mechanically without even understanding the purpose of the question.

She heard the woman mumbling something to the shop lady, then watched as the young worker took the emptied cup out of the way and went to the back to prepare the next order. Before she could even understand what was happening, Yoohyeon had a new, full, cup of Iced Americano in her hand and a beautiful woman smiling at her. 

“Here you go!” the stranger said cheerfully. “Be careful with this one.”

She walked out without giving the younger woman the time to say something back. Yoohyeon had to chase after her on the sidewalk, trying not to spill her drink again. 

“Excuse me!” she called. The woman stopped and turned to see her. “I can't accept this, this is too much. Please, let me do something for you.”

The woman's cold eyes rested on her for a few seconds, until her lips shaped into a smirk. For someone who was so generous, she looked too much like she was having fun. 

“What's your name, sweet heart?” she asked with a lilting voice. 

“I'm Kim Yoohyeon, miss,” the girl answered and bowed. 

“Well, Yoohyeon-shi, if you insist so much, I would very much like your number,” the woman continued with the same upbeat tone to her voice. 

The girl crumpled in front of her. 

“M–My number?” Yoohyeon stammered. 

She wasn't sure, but for a brief moment she actually thought she saw concern on the other's face. 

“Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed, because of your hoodie…” the woman spoke in a lower voice now. 

Yoohyeon took some time to think about what she had chosen to wear. It was the Adidas limited design for Pride Month. All white with a rainbow-coloured logo. Pretty hard to miss indeed. 

“Oh. Oh no, you're right about that,” she blurted, cheeks blushing.

The other let out a silent sigh of relief. “So can I have your number, please?” she went again but softer this time. 

She was holding her phone, waiting for Yoohyeon to take it and type down her contact information. The girl stared at it for a moment. Did she want to give her number to that beautiful stranger? 

She does look like a model.  

She picked the phone and started typing, getting a much more genuine smile from the other woman. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. When she got her phone back, she looked at the new contact and then said: “I'll be in touch, miss Kim Yoohyeon.”

This time she walked away and the girl did nothing to stop her. Yoohyeon stood like a statue in the middle of the crowd, suddenly hearing her message tone. When she picked up, she saw a text from an unknown number that simply read: “The name's Han Dong, btw.”

***

Han Dong turned the key inside their apartment's door and walked in with a certain type of prance that Minji had learnt to recognise over the years. She looked more carefully and noticed immediately the brown stain on the woman's jacket. 

“What happened?” she piped up, surprised. 

“I met a cute girl,” the other mused, taking off the piece of clothing and putting it on a chair nearby to pick it up later. 

“And she didn't like the jacket?” Minji asked very unseriously.

Han Dong rolled her eyes, but let her girlfriend grab her waist to bring her into a welcome home kiss. 

“I met her at the Renaissance Café,” Dong developed after their lips separated. “She looked so shy, almost out of place, really. She bumped into me and spilled some of her Iced Americano. The poor thing looked like she wanted to disappear from the Earth, so I decided to be nice.”

“Oh, how unlike you…” Minji teased, and they both knew it wasn’t true. Han Dong liked to play the sarcastic and unattainable type, but truly what she was looking for was someone who could see through that. “Did it lead somewhere?”

“I got her number,” her girlfriend boasted with a smile. 

Minji hummed then said quietly: “Just make sure she knows what she's getting herself into.”

Dong held the other woman's gaze. She hadn't changed from her formal wear yet. Her jet black hair was still tied in a bun carefully, although a few spikes were popping out. The only thing she had done yet was to trade her contact lenses for her pair of glasses. She looked threateningly hot like that. 

“Don't I always handle this right?” 

Minji tilted her head, making a doubtful hum resonate behind her tight lips. “There have been a few mishaps,” she said with a kind smile, fingers playing with Han Dong's collar. “And it's been a while…” 

Her girlfriend grabbed her hands but kept them on her. Her eyes were more worried now. 

“Would you rather I don't…?”

Minji stopped her with a kiss on the cheek. 

“I'm fine,” she said. “I know sometimes you just need this.”

Dong's heart swelled when she experienced how simple things could be with Minji. She knew how lucky she was to have found her, or more accurately: how lucky she was to have been found. She knew for a fact that if it hadn't been for the woman in her arms, she would have disappeared from this world. 

Nothing would ever break that bond between them. And Han Dong truly believed that she would never stop loving Minji just as Minji would never stop loving her. 

She just had… needs that drove her to other people. It never went as deep as it was with her lover, although most of the time it was slightly more than just . Navigating through it all had proven to be a challenge at times. But Minji had always accepted that side of her. 

Dong kissed her girlfriend tenderly. 

“I love you,” she whispered. 

The smile on the woman's lips stretched wider. “I love you too, Dongie.”

***

“Yubin! She asked me on a date. What do I do?” 

The young woman opened the door wider and watched her best friend stomping in the apartment, phone in hand. 

“Well, hello to you too. It's been a while. How are you?” she answered with a fake cheerful tone.

“Not good!” Yoohyeon whined, crashing on the sofa of the living room. 

Yubin heaved a deep sigh as she closed the door behind her. To be fair to her guest, she had warned that this was an emergency meeting, one that Gahyeon wasn't privy to, because, and she quoted: “she already lives with a hot girlfriend everyday, she wouldn't understand the struggle.”

“I thought she hadn't texted you in a week. What happened?” 

The host sat next to her friend, waiting to be caught up with the situation before saying what she had been saying since the beginning, but no one ever listened to her. 

“She said she didn't like communicating through texts and asked if she could see me again soon, with a coffee and heart emojis. Look!”

Yubin looked. Her eyes brushed over the past few messages as well. This Han Dong woman totally had Yoo in the palm of her hand. She flirted in a very obvious and yet very clever way, sometimes. Whatever she said, Yoohyeon could always backtrack if she felt uncomfortable. It was sweet. Which made her rehearsed speech even more difficult to let out. 

Nonetheless she cleared . 

“I know you already expect me to say this, but this woman sounds like a trap.”

“But a good trap.” 

“No, just a trap.”

Yoohyeon pouted but added nothing. 

Her friend smiled sympathetically. She wished she could tell her to go for it without worrying, but this didn't look like the fantasy Yoohyeon had built in her head. 

“I don't know, but she doesn't look like the kind of person who's interested in your personality. If you know what I mean,” she added more softly. 

Her best friend blew out some air loudly. She had reached that conclusion soon enough after the first couple of texts she exchanged with Han Dong. It wasn't that the older woman was completely disinterested in some aspects of her life, but she had never asked anything too deep. Yoohyeon had started to suspect that the only reason she got away with her Iced Americano was because of her looks. 

But she still asked me out.  

“Maybe I don't mind as much as you think,” she let out, frustrated. 

Yubin couldn't hide her surprise at that answer. Her eyes stayed on her friend carefully. She couldn't tell if she was saying that to taunt her or because she was actually believing it. 

“You mean you wouldn't mind being in a relationship that revolves mostly around ?” 

Yoohyeon gulped. Of course, if it was put like that… but then she remembered Han Dong's face, her short black hair that fell right on her shoulders, her prominent cheekbones, her perfect nose, her smirking lips. Their encounter felt like a complete turn of luck that she couldn't miss out on. Even if it meant going back on what she thought was one of her core beliefs when it came to relationships. 

“I can make it work,” she assured, although it was clear she was still trying to convince herself. 

“Yoo…”

The other in a breath then let it out sharply. 

“Look. She was really nice and she kept in touch. Maybe this will be more than what you think, or maybe it will be just as you say, but I’m tired of waiting for something that might never come. I want this right now.”

Yubin closed . She had heard the raw emotion slipping into Yoohyeon’s voice as she spoke. It wasn't slipping by her that it had been three years since her friend had been in a serious relationship that had left her with slightly less self-confidence than she had before. At first, she truly needed a break from romance. Then, it was just that her life was too chaotic to allow her to even think about it. And now, at last, she was feeling lonely again. 

She had tried dating apps, she had tried going to parties where she didn’t know too many people, but she didn’t connect with any girl, not in the way she wished, not in a way that mattered. And that woman, Han Dong, she had seen her when she wanted nothing less than to be noticed and yet she had made a move. She wanted her, even if it was just for something physical. And for once, Yoohyeon wanted that to be enough. 

“Alright,” Yubin said quietly. “So you made up your mind already.”

“I’m sorry…” Yoohyeon whispered, embarrassed. 

Her friend shook her head. “No, it’s cool. I was worried because I thought you might be expecting too much out of this. I’m glad I was wrong.”

The other girl scoffed. “Doesn’t mean I won’t get hurt.”

“Hey…” –Yubin reached out to grab her hand– “I’ll always be there if something happens. But this can also be fun. If this is what your guts tell you to do, if you don’t want to feel like you missed something by not trying with her, then just go on that date.”

She felt Yoohyeon squeezing back while looking at her with a wide, awkward, smile, breathing out a barely audible “thank you.” 

She sent her back her smile, adding more cheerfully: 

“Just text me afterwards, okay?”

***

Dong was surprised when she read the address where Yoohyeon wanted to meet. It wasn't exactly a bad choice. As a matter of fact she liked that bar. It had a wooden vintage look that simply called to her as a person with taste. It just didn't look like the kind of place the younger woman actually enjoyed. 

At least, so far all drinks were still inside their containers. She smiled thinking about their first meeting. She had truly been pissed when seeing the stain on her jacket, but one look at the perpetrator and it was clear that the young woman was having an even worse day than her. The image of that girl who was so openly herself in a place where everyone had internalized how to act their part in society had struck her.

Even now as Yoohyeon had made an effort to wear a more formal blouse, there was something in the way she folded up the sleeves and held herself to show off her neckline without seeming too crude that just attracted her. 

“So, do you live nearby?” Han Dong asked in the conversation, trying to understand why her date had chosen this place if it made her feel uncomfortable. 

The young woman looked surprised by the question. She probably found it too personal for the kind of date they were having. 

“I guess I’m not too far away,” she said warily. “But I rarely hang out around here.”

“Not your kind of crowd?” the other deduced, asking a question that wasn’t really one. 

“What makes you say that?” Yoohyeon asked with a sharper edge to her voice. 

Yoohyeon stared at her. Her frown suggested she was offended even though that was far from Han Dong’s intentions. Probably because it was never nice to be reminded that you didn’t belong somewhere. Now, Han Dong regretted being so blunt. She breathed in and out, calmly. She didn’t want to mess this up now and be the reason Yoohyeon felt bad about herself. 

“You’re nervous. And as much as I’d love to be the only reason for that, you were also nervous at the coffee shop the other day,” she explained, hoping that her flirting could ease things up. 

Judging by the eyes now running away from hers, she concluded it was a success. 

“I… Do you always flirt like that?”

“Does that make you uncomfortable? I can stop.”

She didn’t want to, but she would. There were actually few things Han Dong enjoyed more than seeing the effect she had on people. However, she understood not everyone liked attracting attention. She actually could find that attractive in people. 

“No, I like that,” Yoohyeon let out, making her date blink in surprise. “I’m not as good as you, though,” she added, embarrassed. 

“It’s alright, I’m not doing it because I want you to flirt back,” the other woman said with a soft smile. 

“Then what do you want from me?”

Han Dong opened and closed it to think some more. Her date's eyes were locked on her with a determination she hadn't suspected. If she was looking for an honest talk, however, Dong only really had one line of action. 

“I’m not looking for something serious,” she said. “But I don’t want it to be just . We date. When I want you, I text you. When you want me, you text me. If you just want to talk, we can talk, like right now. I just don’t want any kind of commitment.”

Her eyes were studying Yoohyeon's reactions as she spoke. She knew this was a gamble because usually she picked her dates in a completely different setting, one where everyone already wanted the same things. But this girl had not asked for this. In all likelihood, she was looking for a regular relationship, one with feelings and care and Han Dong could give her some of that, but she wasn't planning to give her more. 

Yet, as she watched the young woman’s features, Han Dong could tell she wasn't exactly surprised. 

“I can do that,” Yoohyeon stated. “But can we take our time first?” 

Her date gave her a gentle smile. Sweet . That was the word that described Yoohyeon in Han Dong's mind, and she wouldn't want to ruin that. 

“Of course. Let's take our time.”

***

They did take their time. Han Dong took her on more dates. Yoohyeon stopped trying to impress her. Instead she finally started being herself and that impressed the older woman more. She associated her with freedom and passion and wanted nothing more than to cherish that. That was the first hint that made Yoohyeon think that, although Han Dong looked like she could do anything she wanted, it might not have always been the case. 

She remembered their first kiss, in front of an obscure painting the older woman had explained a few minutes earlier. They were hidden among the frames of the empty gallery. Her date's lips had tasted like a forbidden fruit. 

“Do you want to come over?” 

Yoohyeon's eyes widened in confusion when the other suggested it. Then, she heard Dong's soft giggle.

“There are no hidden intentions here. I just don't want this evening to end just yet.”

The younger one nodded. She knew she could trust her. So far the relationship had always evolved at her pace and the other was content to follow it. 

“Do you live far?” 

Her date smiled a smile that made Yoohyeon feel too many things she wasn't ready to admit. It was pure affection trapped in a curve and it made the young woman feel loved in a way she had never felt loved before. 

“Not really.”

Using the subway it only took them twenty minutes to arrive at a private residence, well situated and obviously well protected. Dong presented a card in front of the security display and they heard the lock clicking to let them pass. It was too late to have any encounter on their way to the apartment. 

When Han Dong let her in, Yoohyeon expected to see a very minimalist interior, full of white and gray with signature designed chairs and bouquets of dried flowers in the corners. The type of things a freelance designer like her date could come up with. 

But instead she was welcomed in a very warm space, with a chestnut brown wooden floor, pillows on every chair, and green climbing plants on the bookshelf. It felt instantly like a home.

“You like the place?” Han Dong giggled after seeing her guest's awestruck face. 

“You don't sell your talents short,” Yoohyeon said, following her host in the living room. 

The other scoffed. “If you ever want to redecorate your room, I'll give you a discount,” she said playfully. 

They settled on the sofa. Yoohyeon took one of the pillows to hug tightly. It was reassuring to have something she could hold, something that kept her grounded when her mind irremediably escaped somewhere far away from the conversation. 

Or when the intrusive thoughts started coming and telling her that no one cared about her opinion. 

“Oh wow, I feel so privileged,” she mumbled. 

She couldn't help it. Sometimes it did feel like she was being rewarded just for being pretty. 

“You don't like that?” her date asked with a raise of the brow. 

Yoohyeon worried her lower lip. She shouldn't have said that. She didn't want to sound ungrateful or arrogant. But it was too late to backtrack now. 

“I like earning what I get,” she let out, unassured. 

“Yoohyeon,” Han Dong said softly, scooting just a little bit closer to her on the sofa. “You're hardworking, smart and extremely kind. You deserve all the nice things you can get.”

Her eyes rested on the younger woman, but she didn’t try to chase after her when she noticed the other’s gaze was running away. 

“You make me blush,” Yoohyeon blurted, feeling the heat coming up her cheeks, as if saying it would make it less awkward. 

Her date let out a soft chuckle, her warm breath was on her skin and then her lips left a kiss on her cheek. “I want to make you mine,” she whispered. 

Yoohyeon's eyes opened wide like a deer caught in headlights. She stared at Han Dong for any signs that would confirm that this was, in fact, real. All the other did was smile and look deep into her eyes. She wouldn't make a move unless Yoohyeon made one first and she wouldn't say anything if Yoohyeon didn't. 

The young woman's heart began to thump out of its cage. It was deafening although she was the only one who could hear it. Their lips were so close to each other it would take nothing to reach this gap, to claim a kiss and beg for more. 

She would only need to fall. 

Fortunately, Han Dong was there to catch her, and it was clear in the way she claimed her lips that all the desire she had reined in for so long was finally let loose. 

Her hands framed Yoohyeon's slender waist to pull her closer as she pushed the weight of her body on the younger woman to make them lay on the sofa where Han Dong kept kissing her messily with wet lips. 

Yoohyeon welcomed all of it. Her legs spread around the other woman's hips. Her arms were wrapped around her shoulders. When Han Dong stopped to check in on her partner she saw the young woman begging with her eyes. 

Yoohyeon was panting, her skin was burning with the desire to be touched. More, the voice in her head was whispering. She wanted more . 

“Bedroom?” Han Dong suggested out of breath. 

More…

The girl nodded, then was led by the hand in a dim room.

***

Usually, Han Dong wasn’t one to get sentimental after , but for Yoohyeon she was ready to make an exception. Watching over the young woman on the bed next to her, she was reminded of a sleeping puppy. Or maybe it was that some of the whimpers she had heard from her partner the night before had helped create this image in her mind. 

Let me take care of you.  

She remembered some of the words she said. She had definitely tired the poor girl out, but she took everything so well. She also gave some back. Han Dong’s skin tickled where slim fingers touched her gently, or a tongue made her shiver. 

Usually, what she looked for in her partners other than Minji was pure physical satisfaction for both parties. Nothing less and, more importantly, nothing more. But already, this girl had changed that because everything in their interactions had been so soft, so tender. Han Dong couldn’t help it. 

Despite all her talk about no commitment, every time she touched Yoohyeon she wanted to care, because if she didn’t, she felt like the young woman could shatter in her arms. 

A smile tugging at her lips, she bent to kiss the girl’s forehead.

“Kim Yoohyeon…,” she breathed very quietly. “You really are something.”

Han Dong only heard the rustling of the sheets as Yoohyeon stretched her limbs and a moan as she turned around in an effort to keep sleeping. 

She let out a soft chuckle. 

“I’ll make breakfast.”

There were other dates like this one, although the older woman made sure she wasn’t always the one to push things into motion. It was very important to her that Yoohyeon felt comfortable enough with the idea of calling her whenever she needed, that it wasn’t a hindrance to Han Dong, that on the contrary she liked the idea of being needed. 

The first big step had been to be invited directly to the young woman’s apartment. Her date could tell simply by the way she held herself in the door’s frame that she was very nervous about it. She supposed part of the nervousness came from the fact that they were both at very different points in life. 

There was a four-year difference between them. Han Dong was twenty-eight, she already came from wealth and had been emancipated from her family for quite a while. She was at ease where she was. She had connections, she had status and most of all she had the confidence that she belonged there. 

Yoohyeon on the other hand… 

She was brilliant. Han Dong had no doubt about that. Bilingual in English, a language she basically taught herself because she couldn’t afford to put time and money on extra classes growing up. She had made her way through a Computer Engineering degree and had been hired at a big tech company at only twenty-four. The only one who didn’t think this was something worth praising was Yoohyeon herself. 

“So… this is where I live,” the young woman said shyly as she moved away to let her date in. 

Without being overly decorated or rearranged, Han Dong could tell this was definitely Yoohyeon’s place. There were a few random things lying around… a scented candle collecting dust on a shelf next to a cactus—Probably the only type of plant the young woman had no problem keeping alive—various figurines of characters Han Dong had never seen before, books, lots of them, and at least two used mugs that had definitely been sitting there for a few days. 

“This place is just like you,” Han Dong piped up. 

“In a good way?”

The older woman scoffed and came closer to kiss the girl’s temple: 

“Of course in a good way,” she whispered. “Although I was expecting a big computer tower somewhere with a three-screen setup,” she added teasingly. 

“ Hum . It's actually in my room,” Yoohyeon admitted, a little bashful. 

So Han Dong followed her. The bedroom was quite spacious with a wide window on the wall next to the bed that allowed everything to be bathed in natural light for most of the day. Facing the bed, Yoohyeon had arranged a space for her desk where her guest could finally see the computer setup—with two large screens instead of the three expected, a keyboard and a mouse. 

At first sight it didn’t look like much, but then her partner pressed a button on the computer tower and everything lit up with flashy colors, including the transparent tower case. Inside it, a pipe installation was glowing green. Han Dong found it quite fascinating. 

“Are these actually useful, or is this just meant to be aesthetically pleasing?” she asked as she was trying to understand what was connected to what.

“It’s a water cooling system,” Yoohyeon explained. “My CPU and GPU are connected to a pipe system that is constantly running with cold water. When they’re over heating the water conveys the heat to the radiators above and beneath so that they can disperse it. It’s kind of high maintenance compared to air cooling, but with my current setup, it’s what works best.”

Her date nodded, eyebrows knitted to show she was concentrating very hard. 

“I… understood everything,” she told what was obviously a lie with a perfectly innocent smirk.

Yoohyeon scoffed. She was aware of how nerdy she sounded, even when she was using the simplest terms she knew.

“And what do you use this whole thing for?” Han Dong piped up again. 

“G–Games…” the young woman blurted. 

Her guest could hear the embarrassment in that. She didn’t like it when she heard it. It meant that Yoohyeon was depreciating herself. 

“That’s not very smart of me to not guess that,” the older woman scoffed at herself. “Do you play online? I always envied people who could claim to be a part of a bigger community. It always sounded fun.”

“You don’t think it’s stupid?”

Han Dong felt a tinge in her chest. How many times had the other woman heard it to assume she would think that? Sadness was quickly replaced by anger at the world for allowing such belittling thoughts to exist.  

“Why would I think that?” she asked a little too slowly to be able to hide her emotions. 

She heard Yoohyeon’s weak laugh as she passed a hand in her hair. 

“Most people think it’s childish to play video games in your twenties.”

Han Dong’s gaze was pinned on her. 

“Well that's because most people are sad little creatures,” the woman said sarcastically, although not quite. 

The younger one scoffed. This time, the smile on her lips felt much happier. “How can you say that with a straight face?” 

“Why, because I deeply believe it,” her guest answered vehemently with an affected voice to make her laugh. 

She liked to hear that laugh. It always started loudly and then rippled down like the laughter of a child who was proud of her mischief. 

“See?” Dong said with a grin. “Anything that makes you smile like that can’t be that stupid.”

There was a gasp. And then Yoohyeon’s lips were on hers, full of gratitude. 

From then on, Han Dong knew she was doomed. What she felt burning inside her chest wasn't something she had planned and in truth it scared her. 

At the beginning there was Minji. Her true love, her sun. Even when others gravitated around them, the only one was always her. 

Now, there was Yoohyeon. And Dong was realizing that the more she spent time with her the more she wanted her to stay in her solar system. The young woman wasn't a comet only meant to cross her sky as so many others had been. 

But then, what about Minji? 

Was there a place for two suns in her life?

There had to be, because among all the scenarios running through her head she could never live without her. Losing her first sun would break her, leave her empty of all her light. 

For now, Minji acted as if nothing was happening even though she knew her lover went on several dates when she was absent during the day. It also helped that lawyers always worked late, that way Han Dong could invite Yoohyeon over more easily. On occasions when she spent the night, Minji had Siyeon to fall back on, but Han Dong rarely did that to her. 

She argued with her date that sleeping over too many times would feel too intimate for what they had, but who was she kidding? She had already fallen in those depths and was currently stranded at sea. 

Her phone screen lit up before vibrating on the table. She was about to ignore it in order to focus on her design but caught a glimpse of the sender’s name and changed her mind. 

Yoohtonie

Hey, are you free this evening? 

I’m working on a project. I don’t know when I will be done. Is everything alright?

Yoohtonie

Can I come over? I promise I won’t distract you.

I just need to be with you

Han Dong stopped breathing. So this was really where they were at and she couldn’t escape it. 

Of course you can, sweetheart

It was around seven thirty when Yoohyeon rang on the interphone and made her way to the studio where she found Han Dong working on some plans in the middle of a bunch of balls of wrapped paper and several color charts. 

“Hey,” she said softly, guiding Yoohyeon inside. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. It’s not that bad, really,” the younger one blurted. 

Her girlfriend studied her carefully with a concerned look.

“Is it?”

The young woman’s eyes shot up to look at her, she very obviously considered lying, but what use would it have after the message she sent her?

“One of the managers yelled at me. One of our schedules got advanced and I wasn’t notified on time. He said I should have been almost done with it anyway, that I was slacking off…”

Han Dong interrupted her, palming her cheek. “Hey, you know that’s not true… Right?”

Yoohyeon had no choice but to look at her and this time she couldn’t hesitate to say what was on her mind. 

“I know. I’m good at my job, I know that.”

The older woman smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Good girl,” she muttered, and then she left her there to fetch some sweet snacks and drinks. 

“I only have to search for some more furniture references and then I should be done. Can you wait until then?” she asked, putting everything on the coffee table in front of the sofa. 

“Sure. I brought a book,” Yoohyeon said shyly.

“That’s perfect,” the other answered with a lilting voice. “I won’t be long.”

Even as she was scrolling on her laptop for the perfect night stand to go with the general design she had just drawn, all Han Dong could really think about was how she could cheer Yoohyeon up and also how she could make it so she wouldn’t miss Minji coming back home.

After an hour, she came to the conclusion she couldn’t. 

It was eight forty. The final design for the night stand was now completing her drawing of the bedroom she was creating for her client and there was no way she could let Yoohyeon stay in the apartment unless she wanted Minji to walk in the two of them. With her heart sinking, she grabbed her phone and started typing a quick text. 

Baby, I’m sorry but I’ll be home late tonight. Don’t wait for me, you must be tired after this week.

She saw the message being left on read. Her heart sank even deeper. 

She closed her laptop, cleaned the table and put everything back to their places. Yoohyeon raised her nose from her book, she had actually spent the whole time quietly there. This felt… domestic.

“Let me invite you to dinner,” Han Dong said before the other could suggest anything. 

The younger girl widened her eyes in surprise. “Are you sure? I mean I would love to, but it’s late…” She had probably thought they would get some quiet time together and she would have been right to expect it in other circumstances, but this was improvised, and Han Dong was struggling to keep the two sides of her life floating.

“I need to get out,” the woman breathed. “I spent too much time on this damn design today.”

“Oh. Of course. Working from home has its own downside, doesn’t it?”

Dong offered a smile in response, she didn’t have the strength to find anything else. They caught their things and were out of the apartment before Minji could come home. 

It was almost midnight when Han Dong came back. She felt bad for having to leave Yoohyeon like that, not being able to give her what she truly wanted when she had contacted her. At least they were able to talk more about her work place, her colleagues and the aspects she did enjoy about her job. In the end, the younger woman seemed like she had had a good time. 

When Dong opened the door, she was surprised to see the lights on. It could only be one thing: Minji was waiting for her. She was at the kitchen counter, hovering over her phone—probably scrolling on her social media—when she heard the door click and perked up to watch her girlfriend approaching. 

It was always hard to guess what Minji was thinking. She always had a calmness inside her that could feel either cold or soothing, but the extent of both extremes was never easy to determine. 

“I thought you had gone to sleep already,” Han Dong said quietly, sitting in front of her. 

“I think we need to talk.”

It wasn’t even said harshly but her girlfriend’s throat tightened all the same. 

“You were with her again tonight,” Minji kept talking. “I thought we agreed to have some time for ourselves this week. And I know we technically have the whole weekend, but… I was happy to be able to have dinner with you tonight, and at the last minute, you chose her.”

It was clear now that she was hurt. As she should be. Han Dong had messed up. She had messed up royally. And she knew that. She knew it the moment she agreed to let Yoohyeon come over that this time it wouldn’t be forgiven. 

“I’m sorry. I know how you felt about this week and I really wanted to spend the evening with you, but I couldn’t…” She swallowed some saliva before she could say something she knew would hurt even more, but she had to be sincere. “I couldn’t ignore her.”

If it did hurt. Minji didn’t show it. She nodded silently, apparently thinking about something she wanted to say, but resolved to let the irritation pass. 

“Was she having trouble?”

Han Dong blinked. In this context, she didn't know if this question could be genuine. Knowing her girlfriend it probably was though. She was the kind to always look for an explanation. 

“At work, yes.”

A nod again. Then Minji’s eyes set firmly on her.

“Dongie. We can’t keep pretending this isn’t serious.”

Dong took a deep breath. She had avoided this conversation for as long as she could but, nonetheless, it was here. 

“I love you,” were the first words that escaped her. The only certainty she had. 

“And what about her?” her girlfriend asked very softly. Too softly. Han Dong didn’t deserve her kindness right now. “Do you think you could love her too?”

“I–” The words got strangled in the designer’s throat. She wanted to stop the tears from coming up. However, she had to yield to the swirl of emotions that were submerging her. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Dongie, what have you told her?”

She couldn’t answer that. If she answered that, it would make it worse. Her fault would be in plain sight for Minji to judge.

“You didn’t tell her about us, did you?”

She knew. There was no point in hiding now, but that made it worse. It meant Han Dong had failed her, by not seeing where her relationship with Yoohyeon was going, by not being sincere with either of the women in her life and by being unable to solve this on her own. 

“I told her I wanted something with no strings attached,” she let out in a strangled voice.

The silence that came after was worse than anything the other woman could have said.  

“I know I messed up. I messed up with you. I messed up with her. I didn’t do anything right and it’s all my fault!” Dong cried. 

She hid her face in her hands, now that she was sobbing loudly. In the end, all she was was a disappointment, wasn’t she? That was what her father would say. Even away from him, she couldn’t keep her life together. Just like before she met Minji. 

“Hey…” her girlfriend cooed. There were arms around her now. “I’m not mad at you. And you can still make this right with Yoohyeon.”

“She’s going to be mad,” Han Dong sniffled.

She felt lips pressing on the top of her head. 

“Maybe so. But it’s the only way forward,” Minji whispered. 

***

“And so we’re not allowed to meet her?”

Yoohyeon glanced at her two friends who were sitting in front of her in the bar. She wished she could actually deny that, but that wasn’t in the set of rules she had fixed for herself at the start of the relationship. 

“Please, Gahyeon-shi, be already glad that we know her name,” Yubin chided her mockingly. 

They were both giggling, eyeing at Yoohyeon to peek at her growing pout. Annoying her about Han Dong had been their favorite activity for the past weeks. 

“Guys, we’re not a couple. I don’t want her to feel weird,” their victim groaned. 

The two girls stared at her then at each other with wide grins on their faces. Gahyeon moved closer to Yubin’s ear as if she was telling a confidence out loud.

“Does she mean we're embarrassing?”

“I think she does.”

“You know what I meant!”

Their giggles intensified in front of an even poutier Yoohyeon. 

“Guyyys!” the tallest of them whined. “Dongie and I, we're in a 'no strings attached' kind of relationship. If I start introducing her to my friends, it might start feeling a little too real. That's all.”

Yubin sobered up quickly. It was never a good thing when Yoohyeon took things too seriously. It often meant that she was brooding over some issues without telling them. 

“We're just teasing, pabo,” she sighed with a half smile. 

“Yeah, I mean, you should only do what you're comfortable doing,” Gahyeon intervened. “But it's also good to ask yourself: who are you doing this for? You or her?” 

She understood in the way Yoohyeon was staring at her like a deer caught in headlights that her point wasn't as clear as she thought. 

“Would you feel weird about introducing her to us or do you think she would feel weird?” she reformulated. 

Her friend paused to think, grabbing her chin between two fingers in a best detective in the world pose. On the one hand, she was the one who had made this rule of not presenting Han Dong to her friends. The older woman had never said anything about that. But she had also never asked Yoohyeon if she wanted to meet her friends. 

It all came down to how they both defined their relationship. They were very clearly friends with benefits and that honestly embarrassed the young woman a little to introduce her to her friends like that. Mostly because somewhere along the lines, she had started to invest more in this relationship than she had promised she would. And perhaps the most disturbing thing so far was that Dong hadn’t tried to slow things down. 

Even when Yoohyeon sent cringy texts like “I just need to be with you.”

Her cheeks warmed up just thinking about that. Now that she did think about it, though, that evening together was definitely a milestone. They had been seeing each other for three months now, and clearly her date was struggling as much as she was with the “no strings” thing. 

“I really wish you guys could meet her, as my girlfriend,” Yoohyeon let out, surprising even herself.  

“Do you think she would agree to that?” Yubin asked, always being the rational one. 

“I wasn’t sure before,” her friend admitted. “But she’s been more caring lately, it feels more intimate when I’m with her. And, you know, she hasn’t run away so I assume she likes it that way,” she added with a little embarrassed laugh. 

“Has she ever told you why she wanted no commitments in the first place?” Gahyeon piped up.

She seemed to put more weight on this question than her tone would suggest, as if she knew something, or perhaps was afraid to be right about a hunch.

“She never did. Does she have to?”

Gahyeon held the insistent gaze that was on her and let out a heavy breath. 

“You might want to know. Especially if you want to become more than just friends with benefits. Maybe there’s simply something preventing her.”

There was definitely something she wasn’t saying. That girl was smart. She noticed things, made connections where everyone saw coincidences. It wasn’t luck, it was simply observation and knowledge of human nature. Yoohyeon would do well to keep that in mind. 

“I’ll ask when I meet her again,” she breathed out. At the same time, her phone rang to let her know she had a new text. When she raised her eyes up from the screen, she piped up:  “Which is tonight apparently.”

Han Dong had asked specifically to meet Yoohyeon at her apartment. When the young woman asked if she wanted something for dinner, the answer was: “don’t prepare anything in advance,” which could announce a very good night ahead or a serious conversation. 

Somehow, Yoohyeon still wanted to believe it was about what she was thinking about at lunch earlier with her friends. Maybe it was time to seriously consider their relationship as something more than what they had initially. 

The older woman rang at the door and was invited inside. There was something about her, in her stiff posture and tense smile that gave away the apprehension. She accepted the drink she was offered, sat on the sofa in front of the television and exchanged some small talk that was meant to ease her into what she truly wanted to say. 

“Yoohyeon, I really need to tell you something.”

The young woman felt the resonance of a single heartbeat booming inside her chest. She didn’t like the way Han Dong had said that. At all. 

“It’s about us. There’s something I should have told you from the start. But first of all, I want you to know that what we have is real. I really like you, Yoohyeon.”

She was keeping her eyes on the young woman, making sure that she was still listening, that her feelings were carried over the wall of anxiety that had been built between them. 

“The reason I didn’t want any commitment when I met you, is because I’m in an open relationship with someone else already.”

“An… open relationship?” 

The words had a bitter taste on Yoohyeon’s tongue when she tried them out. She had heard of it, vaguely. What she had kept from everything she heard was that people often used that term when they wanted to cheat on their partner more openly.

“I met her around four years ago. She’s my girlfriend, but she agrees to let me meet other people, and she can do the same if she wants to. But I’m mostly the one who ventures out,” Han Dong answered. 

She was trying to be calm and unaffected by the other’s obvious anger that was rising inside like it had never before. 

“So what does that make me, exactly? A distraction?” Yoohyeon spat. “Was it entertaining to seduce me and get me in your bed, is that what this is about?”

She wished she could pull off that act as well as she wanted to, but what she actually felt at the moment was shame for letting the older woman use her like that. For believing she was someone’s first choice. For expecting this situation to be a prank rather than the truth.

“No. Yoohyeon, I never thought that,” Dong rushed to say. “I never thought of using you. I like you. I really enjoy our time together, it doesn’t matter how we spend it.”

It pleased her to hear that. No matter how mad she was, she was still thriving for the older woman’s affection. It may have been why she was driven to hurt her more than she should. 

“And your girlfriend, does she know about us? Does she agree or have you kept that from her too?”

Han Dong backed off. Her face reddened as if she had been slapped. “I know it wasn’t right to hide it when we first met,” she blurted. “But I assure you that I am not cheating on her with you.”

“Has it occurred to you that I could be the one who felt cheated on?” 

As if it wasn’t difficult enough, Yoohyeon felt the lump in growing and making her words even harder to come out. Her lips were wobbling as she desperately tried to contain her tears in front of the one who was causing them. 

“Of course I thought about that,” Han Dong whispered. The younger one hated to hear the care in her voice. “I know it’s hard to understand. I’m not doing this because I like to play with women’s love. It’s just that I… Sometimes, I… take a liking to other women and when it happens I need to pursue it. To be honest, before you, those stories were short-lived and it’s true that it was mostly physical. But with you it’s different, Yoohyeon.”

The younger one scoffed. “What are you asking for?”

“I want to be more than what we are–”

“Are you serious?” 

Yoohyeon’s features wavered between outrage and disbelief. She refused to acknowledge the tears that had swelled in Han Dong’s eyes. That woman didn’t deserve to be pitied right now. 

“I’m not playing with you,” the other still pleaded. 

“Leave.”

The word came out like the strike of a knife. Han Dong stared at the younger woman for a few seconds, stunned more than in denial. Then she nodded slowly and stood up. There was nothing else she could do anyway. 

It was only when she heard the sound of the door closing that Yoohyeon’s sobs wailed out.