Jeongguk doesn’t know why he started a live stream out of the blue. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he’s completely drunk but who really knows because now all he’s focused on is trying to stay awake. The comment section is blurry but he can still read the worried messages from fans telling him to go to bed. 

“M’ not gonna go to bed yet,” he mutters, half consciously, hand gripping a glass full of beer.

He sighs, resting his head on his arm and fixing his tired eyes on the screen in front of him. He doesn’t even know what made him start drinking tonight anyway. Maybe it’s stress, maybe he’s still immensely bothered by Hobi-hyung’s enlistment, he doesn’t know. His head is aching now and the room is tilting. Still, he blinks and sits up to try and keep himself awake. He doesn’t want to fall asleep while live; he should probably end it and go to bed like his fans are telling him to. But he doesn’t want to be alone again. His fans’ comments are comforting and keeps him tethered to consciousness. There are other reasons too, why he doesn’t want to end the live stream. More important reasons than not wanting to be alone. Jeongguk doesn’t dwell on them right now. He takes another gulp of the strong liquid in the cup, despite feeling sick to his stomach. 

“Y’know…you guys make me feel so…so…so…so…hic…happ-fie,” Jeongguk slurs, words jumbled and messed up.

He giggles at how he pronounced the last word.

“Happ-fie,” he muses, laughing again. “Happ-fie, happ-fie…hic…happ-fie…”

The fans in the comment section laugh along with him for a few minutes until they go back to their worrying and fretting over the young sleepy maknae. 

“I t-told you…” Jeongguk whines, fidgeting with the cup handle. “I ‘old you…hic…that I wasn’t ‘onna go sleep…”

He’s getting worse, he knows it but he can’t stop. God, he’s so tired. It would be so easy to just…close his eyes…melt into the couch…sleep forever. He hums softly, smiling at the thought as his eyelids get heavier and heavier. His grip on the cup loosens as he sniffles, yawning and slumping down on his arm again. He thinks about how he’ll be in trouble with the manager for starting a live stream without permission just to fall into a drunken stupor again. Not even any of hyungs know he’s live streaming. It’s 10pm in the evening after all. Namjoon-hyung is probably on the phone with the manager or writing lyrics to a new song, Jimin is probably over at Yoongi-hyung's place after the elder’s birthday live earlier in the day. Jeongguk is still fuming over the fact that his hyung didn’t bother responding to his “Yoongi, marry me!” comment and only took notice of Jimin. 

Jeongguk forces his eyes open and blinks up at the wobbling screen in front of him. Everyone is still telling him to go to bed. He groans, leaning against the back of the sofa and thinking about the rest of his hyungs and what they may be doing. Jin-hyung is probably sleeping in his barracks so many miles away from Jeongguk and the rest of the members. Hobi-hyung is probably home doing god-knows-what to get ready for enlistment. Jeongguk misses his oldest hyung dearly and already misses Hobi-hyung even though he hasn’t left yet. Jeongguk decides to complain to his anxious audience.

“I really…hic…really miss Jinnie-hyungie hyungie. ‘N now Hobi-hyung‘s leavin’ ‘n I’ll miss him lots…hic…too,” Jeongguk began, finding it harder to speak in clear sentences. “I was talkin’ to…hic…Jin-hyungie earlier. He said he was ‘k. Hobi-hyung visited him…hic…too. With Chim. I…I wanted to go too but Hobi-hyung was a meanie ‘n didn’t let me.”

With that, Jeongguk frowned, lips pressed together in a pout he knew his fans would think was adorable. But all he got were more pleas to go to bed. 

“I don’t wanna go to…hic…bed,” Jeongguk whined again.

Why were his fans so mean today? He rested his chin in his hands, staring at the white screen, sleepily. 

Taehyung. Taehyung wasn’t home. Jeongguk knew that. His youngest hyung was out late night shopping before the stores closed. Jeongguk missed him too. He missed him like crazy. More than he’d ever admit to his fans. Just yet, at least. Maybe someday he’ll tell them. Tell them just how much he misses Taehyung when they aren’t together. Just how much his heart aches. It’s worse than his headache right now. But it still hurts. Jeongguk pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a shuddering breath. The comments seem to explode with worry. It’s overwhelming, words beginning to swim in front of his eyes. Jeongguk blinks once, twice. It isn’t helping. He’s fading out of consciousness and fast. 

“M’kay, guys. Imma take your advice,” he drawls, reaching for the record button.

He doesn’t even make it halfway there before black edges his vision and he’s asleep. After thirty minutes, half the viewers are gone after wishing fond farewells to the sleeping boy. But some fans still linger, admiring the peaceful face in front of them. And because they stay, they are the only ones there to witness the following hours.

Jeongguk is still unconscious on the couch in the dark after an hour, the only movement being when his hand slips from the cup handle entirely and joggles the screen a bit. Then comes the sound of a door opening, bags rustling and keys jangling. A light flickers on somewhere in the apartment and a familiar shadow appears in the front entrance. Even in the dark, it’s clear to see that it’s none other than Taehyung.

“Jeongguk? I’m home,” the older boy begins, pulling off his shoes before venturing into the dark kitchen in the background, hands full of groceries. “Sorry I’m so late. There were a lot of people in line and it took a while.”

When he gets no response, Taehyung glances over into the living room. He doesn’t notice the live stream however or the group of fans watch in stunned silence.

“Gukkie?” He calls, hesitantly, placing the bags on the counter and walking over to the couch. 

Seeing the younger fast asleep, Taehyung looks relived before spotting the cup of beer beside the couch. He sighs, still not noticing the live stream. 

“Guk, baby? How many times have I told you not to drink so much? It’s not healthy,” the elder murmurs before leaning over and shocking the watching fans even more by kissing Jeongguk’s cheek, softly. 

Jeongguk whines in his sleep, pouting and Taehyung smiles, walking over to the other side of the couch where the younger is sleeping. It’s only then that he notices the camera. He stops short when his eyes land on the bright screen and recorder. The comments stop just as abruptly and the fans wait with baited breath to see what Taehyung will do now. Taehyung stares at the camera for a moment before glancing around, hurriedly, seemingly trying to decide if there even is anything he can do now. Finally, he moves over to where Jeongguk is and picks him up gently. 

“Taetae-hyungie hyung…”

Taehyung glances swiftly at the camera again when Jeongguk whimpers his name before burying his face in Taehyung’s shirt. After a moment of silence, Taehyung carries the younger boy out of the room. He returns a few minutes later and simply stands, staring at the screen. He looks horrified but kind of relived at the same time; none of the fans quite know why though. Finally the boy speaks, moving closer to the camera.

“Sorry, guys. I’m ending this. I promise to try and explain everything to you tomorrow. I’m really sorry.”

With that, the live ends and the fans are left reeling in shock at what they’ve just witnessed. 

~

Jeongguk wakes up with a terrible headache and hangover. He’s hot, sweaty, and feels like he’ll throw up which he promptly does a few minutes later after rushing to the bathroom. He sinks to the bathroom floor and leans against the toilet, vision still blurry. His phone is on the counter so he reaches up to grab it, hand fumbling for a second before locking onto the device. The screen lights up with a hundred notifications from his hyungs, from his family, and from the manager. Confused, Jeongguk opens his messages and his unstable stomach lurches. He leans over the toilet and throws up again before turning back to his phone, horrified. The first message he reads is from Jimin:

 

Chim: Jeongukie! What happened?! It’s all over the news!

Chim: Gukkie? Are you awake?! 

Chim: I think your in a lot of trouble, Guk…

Chim: Jeongguk? ANSWER ME!!

 

Jeongguk reads the message from his manager next:

 

Manager: Jeongguk. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

 

Then his mom:

 

Eomma: Jeongguk. Please explain. What’s going on? I need you to talk to me. I’m here for you but I need you to tell me what’s going on? Is he your boyfriend? Are you living together? Please. I just want to help you and be there for you.

 

As loving as his mom’s message is, it’s the one that makes Jeongguk’s blood run cold. He quickly checks the news and is even more horrified to see last night’s live as headline news. Jeongguk realizes he doesn’t even remember turning off the live and he frantically searches it up and watches the full thing, heart sinking when he sees Taehyung appear. Jeongguk slams his phone on the counter, feeling his stomach lurch again and turning around to throw up for the third time. He’s suddenly scared to face Taehyung and waits a full ten minutes before venturing back into the bedroom only to find that the bed is empty. Jeongguk panics, running out into the living room. Empty as well. And suddenly, Jeongguk gets it. It’s his fault. He messed up big time and it’s caused trouble for not only him but Taehyung as well. Why would he still want to be with Jeongguk now. Yes, he admits it now. Him and Taehyung have been dating for the past five months now. Well, they were dating, Jeongguk thinks to himself, bitterly. He wanders back into the bedroom and is able to make it back to the bed without crashing into anything which he considers impressive taking into consideration that the room is still tilting. He folds himself into a tight ball on the sheets, and, after a moment of internal panicking and wondering just what he should do, guilt and grief sets in. Jeongguk starts to cry not just because of how miserable he feels from his hangover but mostly because of his mistake having caused the love of his life to walk away from him. It’s all his fault. He’s the one to blame. He curls up tighter, body shaking with sobs as he shuts out everything around him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of the front door slamming open and footsteps pounding against the floor. Jeongguk doesn’t bother to move when a familiar voice calls his name but when he feels a hand on his shoulder, he jerks up off the pillows and stares into the face of a very anxious Taehyung. It takes a moment for Jeongguk’s still muddled mind to process what he’s seeing but when he does he doesn’t hesitate to throw himself into the elder’s arm, crying even harder than before.

“Hyungie! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Jeongguk sobs into Taehyung’s shoulder, hoping the elder doesn’t completely hate him.

He’s surprised that Taehyung doesn’t push him away. Instead the elder boy hugs him tighter, pulling him into his lap and pressing kisses to his forehead. 

“It’s okay, Gukkie. It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Taehyung murmurs, softly.

But it’s not okay to Jeongguk. Frankly, he just doesn’t understand why Taehyung is even here. Jeongguk has messed everything up, has maybe endangered their careers.

“No! It’s not okay! I’ve messed everything up!” Jeongguk wails.

“You didn’t, bun! You just made a mistake. It’s okay. I’m more worried about how you’re feeling after drinking so much. I brought some medicine,” Taehyung says, reassuringly.

“Don’t you hate me? We’re both in trouble now because of me, Tae. It’s my fault!” Jeongguk continues, pulling away, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, and completely ignoring everything Taehyung just said.

“Guk, baby, I don’t hate you! I love you more than anything, you know that! I don’t care if we’re in trouble if we’re still together, okay?” Taehyung protests, bringing Jeongguk into another comforting hug, running a hand through the younger’s hair. “But-“ Jeongguk starts but Taehyung shushes him with a sudden kiss followed by another tight hug. 

“We’ll figure this out together and if that means finally telling people about us, then that’s okay. We’ll get through that too and one tiny mistake isn’t going to make me stop loving you, okay, Gukkie?”

“What will? Tell me and I won’t ever do it,” Jeongguk sniffles.

“Nothing, Jeonggukie. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you,” Taehyung whispers, cupping the younger boy’s face and pulling him in for another sweet kiss. 

Jeongguk accepts this kiss and returns it, wrapping his arms around Taehyung's neck and enjoying the feeling of the elder's lips on his own. They always taste of strawberries and coconuts and one thing is for sure. Jeongguk will never get tired of kissing Taehyung. He pulls away after a minute, finally feeling happy. 

"Nothing?" He asks, curiously. 

Taehyung smiles. 

"Nothing, Guk. Ever.”

Jeongguk hugs Taehyung again, feeling himself melt into the elder’s arms. He’s so glad he has Taehyung. 

“I love you, hyungie,” Jeongguk murmurs.

“I love you too, Gukkie.”