Jongin is in college when he meets Taemin, a girl he immediately finds beautiful and tries to pursue. Being from a wealthy family and used to having things his way, he thinks it will be easy to win her over. He lacks manners though, and Taemin quickly catches on to how stuck up and entitled he is – he's handsome and seems to think he is owed whatever he wants. After a few attempts on his part, Taemin makes it clear she isn't interested, but he still doesn't give up.

Finally, when he says something about how he's the hottest guy who she could ever have a chance with, she tells him she doesn't want him, that his looks don't make up for his personality and that she'd like him to leave her alone. Jongin finally takes a hint – sort of. Backing off, he decides to flirt and hook up with other girls – more popular ones, more typically beautiful ones, to show off and make her jealous.

After a few months, Taemin starts dating someone else though, and after seeing him, Jongin says he's not nearly as good looking. Taemin returns that his personality is much better than Jongin’s, and Jongin’s looks will fade over time anyway. However, another few months pass and Taemin and her boyfriend break up. When they do, he beats her up and starts spreading cruel rumors about her – how she’s a liar and refused to sleep with him, and going as far as calling her a man in disguise. Of course, Taemin’s friends support her and tell her to go to the police, but she just says she doesn’t want any trouble.

Jongin hears about it all from a friend as the stories spread around campus, seeing Taemin a couple days later, a faded black eye still noticeable. He tells her that it wouldn't have happened if she had dated him – trying to suggest that he would never have hurt her that way – and she punches him in the face for it (because who says something that terrible to someone who’s been beaten up like that?). She tells him he's disgusting and that she'll never date an like him, and she preferred her ex to him any day.

This is a wake-up call to Jongin. He asks his friends if he's that bad, and they say he's not, that she's just a . He's doubtful though, because he doesn’t think Taemin is, and decides to start meeting with a therapist to sort things out. A year of working on himself later, he's come to realize how rude he can be to others, how his friends are just the same and a bad influence, and even the way he only attracts shallow women who are more interested in his money than him. He starts turning himself around, avoiding those friends and meeting some new ones at a bar one evening when he's pity drinking. They're a lot nicer and support him on his path to becoming better too. His old crew call him a loser, but he decides to keep his head down and focus on studying.

Eventually he realizes he's not really passionate about anything, having his family’s money and working never having felt like a necessity to him, leaving him unsure what to pursue. One of his close friends, Baekhyun, is a singer though, and when his guitar accompaniment leaves to start real work, Jongin decides to start learning to play the guitar to help out. After a few months he's learned the songs Baekhyun likes to sing, and starts performing with him in bars.

One time when he's performing, he's surprised to see Taemin there – with some guy, probably a new boyfriend. They don't say anything, but the guy goes up after Baekhyun and is a phenomenal singer, making Baekhyun talk to him when he gets off the stage and exchanging contacts. The guy (Jonghyun) compliments Baekhyun and then Jongin too, though Jongin just says he's still new to playing and not really good. Taemin is surprised – Jongin’s being humble for once and also seems unable to look at her, almost like a different man. Then Baekhyun offers to buy them all drinks, “for you and your – friend? Girlfriend?” he prompts with a glance to Taemin. Jonghyun says they're friends, she's just his biggest supporter, and Jongin has to wonder if neither of them have feelings, though it’s too hard to tell.

The group starts hanging out together, though Baekhyun and Jonghyun quickly notice the awkward air between Jongin and Taemin. Once, when she's gone to the bathroom, they ask Jongin if he's into her, but he just admits that the last time he saw her she punched him in the face. Jonghyun is shocked that Jongin had known her all along, but Jongin asks not to talk about it. Next, Baekhyun asks why she punched him, and Jongin just says he was a jerk and deserved it. When she returns, he goes quiet, letting the group go back to talking – about future plans for music and all, as Baekhyun and Jonghyun are planning to become a duo.

They meet often – though Taemin is usually working and doesn't join – developing songs and recording them into a mini album. Jongin learns that Taemin is an artist, and she designs the album cover for them. They end up selling a thousand copies, and start getting paid for their performances. Soon their most popular song is on the radio, and they put out another mini album within a year. In all this time, Taemin and Jongin hardly talk – she's gone most of the time, working, but even when she is there, they avoid each other.

One day though, after a performance, she comments how some girls seem interested in him, and she's surprised he never goes after anyone these days. Jongin tells her he's not like that anymore; he's realized she was right about him and he's not special just because of his looks, and that's all they care about him for anyway, so he doesn’t want to let them down. Taemin tells him that he's changed, become a lot better than how he was and she hopes he won't give up on ever finding love. He asks about her, and she admits to having her own flaws, waiting to see if someone will ever come along that can accept them. She seems solemn saying this, and Jongin promises there will be someone worth loving her too. Someone better than him, he thinks, though he keeps this thought to himself.

After their second album, Jongin learns that Taemin ended up having surgery, and he's shocked as he didn't know anything was wrong. He doesn’t see her very often, sometimes only twice in a month as she’s always busy working. It’s only when Baekhyun asks Jonghyun how she’s doing that Jongin even clocks that there was ever anything wrong, and Jonghyun explains how she’d been resting after surgery.

When he next sees her though, when she’s sitting in to watch them practice, she says it was only plastic surgery for her chest – to which Jongin asks what and why. Why would she change herself when she was already beautiful? Jonghyun defends her and says it's her choice and not Jongin’s business. To this Jongin agrees, but he's still confused, and admittedly can hardly tell a difference in her size anyway. Not that he’s looking or has been looking, but he’s sure they’re the same size as before. After that though, he notices once she's healed that she wears more revealing tops – he's never seen her show her cleavage before, but she seems more confident to now.

It gets her more attention as well, but she mostly ignores it. This makes Jongin wonder why – hadn’t it been to appeal to people? Why did she continue to not give anyone the time of day? Jongin had never known her to date in the past couple years hanging out with her. But he notices how close she is with Jonghyun, wondering if there really is something there and asking her if she's interested in him. After all, he's nice, smart, funny, talented, and they get along so well that it seems natural – but she denies it, reaffirming that they’re just friends, and adding that she’s not that interested in dating right now. This only leaves Jongin more confused as to why she’d gotten surgery, though he doesn’t ask anything more.

Taemin spends a lot of time working still, getting commissioned to do art more often after the success of the albums she designed, and seems tired a lot. This makes Jongin wonder why she pushes herself so much, seeming to overdo it far too often – he’s heard her complain about double shifts and long hours of drawing, seen her falling asleep at the group’s practices and even their public performances which she insists on supporting – but she says she's saving up.

Jongin wonders what she’s saving for, and then realizes she must have saved up for her surgery – it would have been expensive, thousands of dollars. It makes him suspicious, and he asks if she's planning to do more, to which she admits she is. Jongin wonders if these were the flaws she thinks she has – and she acknowledges it, making Jongin mad. He tells her that she had always said personality was what mattered and her altering herself was hypocritical, and besides that, she was already beautiful the way she was. Taemin hesitates but says he wouldn't understand, to which Jongin snaps back, why, because she thought he was good looking already? But she shakes her head and refuses to talk about it anymore.

It weighs on his mind though, so Jongin goes to Jonghyun and asks if he's supporting her next surgery. Jonghyun says of course, making Jongin ask why – why he's encouraging her when she doesn't need it. Jonghyun says she can do what she wants, but Jongin counters that she's already perfect the way she is and supporting her will only make her think he agrees that she needs to change. Jonghyun smiles, surprisingly, and says that he understands what Jongin is saying, but it's what Taemin wants and Jongin just doesn't fully understand, which is something he would have to take up with Taemin bc it’s her body.

He does this, stopping by Taemin’s place and saying again that he doesn't think she should have surgery. Her apartment is tiny, a single room with a little bathroom, and if she didn't get these unnecessary surgeries she could put her money towards living better. Taemin says she is putting it towards living better, and Jongin scoffs, asking how she thinks changing her s or anything else is really making her life better. Taemin snaps at him that it's her choice and just because he doesn't understand, that doesn't mean she's wrong. So he asks her to explain it then, so he can understand. He tells her that he wouldn't change a thing about her and she shouldn't have to change herself for anyone else either, that anyone who really loves her will accept her just the way she is.

This softens her a little, and she asks if he has feelings for her. He admits he likes her, he always had, but she says she thought it was only because he found her pretty. He admits that that was the case at first, but as he's gotten to know her in the past couple years, he's seen how she is and only come to like her more. Then she asks if he would like her if she weren't a girl, and he suspects it's a test, but he asks what difference it would make. She asks how he would feel if she had different parts. He responding saying he had never seen her anyway, nor will he likely ever, but it’s her personality that he’s fallen for so he doesn't think it matters. She asks if he would sleep with a man then, and he frowns, realizing the hole he's dug and admitting he isn't sure about that.

“What if I were a man?” she asks, but to this he says that she'd be different if she were, and he might not feel the same about her in the first place then. So she asks him how he would feel if she were exactly the same but with different parts. Jongin is a little hesitant, but admits that he thinks he could handle it. It might be different, but they could still have , right? This makes Taemin laugh, appreciating his optimism and then telling him if he can handle that, he can handle her having surgery to change herself too, as her body clearly doesn’t matter all that much to him. Jongin frowns, not liking this twist and telling her that that isn't the point, that she doesn't need it, and she replies that she wants it, and that's the only reason she needs.

After this conversation, Jongin realizes she’s right and that the choice is ultimately hers, even if he still doesn’t agree with it. He decides to put some money into savings. He starts with a couple thousand dollars – he's wealthy and it's not much to him – adding a few hundred more every month and reaching five thousand by Taemin’s birthday. On her birthday, he goes to her place himself, wanting to have the moment privately so she doesn’t feel burdened. There, he gives her a cheque as her gift and tells her that he wants to support her, even if he doesn't think she needs it, and hopes it will be enough to put toward whatever she's trying to do.

Taemin bursts into tears, beyond shocked at the gesture and hugging him gratefully, telling him it brings her closer to what she needs. Jongin’s heart thuds as he hugs her back, never having been this close to her before and trying not to overthink it. Instead, he asks what she's doing that's so expensive, because the amount he’d given on top of what she’d already saved was not little, yet still wasn’t enough?

Pulling away, Taemin finally breaks down and tells him that she's trans and trying to get reassignment surgery. Jongin is shocked beyond words, the idea having never remotely occurred to him, but things making so much more sense. Her last surgery, he realized, was to give her actual s in the first place – prior to that, she must have just been using padding, which was why there hadn’t seemed to be much of a difference.

He hugs her again and tells her he's sorry for all of the judgement and grief he gave her for wanting surgery, asking then if she's a boy. It’s the wrong thing to say, and Taemin tells him that she is a girl, she was just born wrong. This makes Jongin apologize as he doesn't know much about it, promising himself to learn more about it for her.

He realizes Jonghyun must know, and talks to him later to get help on understanding. They start talking regularly about it and Jonghyun teaches him a lot so he can be more supportive. Eventually Jonghyun says that after the surgery, Taemin will need to take a lot of time off, which is part of why she needs to save up so much, so Jongin offers her to move in with him. He has an extra office room that could make a small bedroom, and he thinks it would still be better than her current place. She says it would be a burden on him, but he tells her she can stay for free and he can help take care of her. That’s even worse, she tells him. Taemin says it would be too much work for him, but Jongin insists, telling her to pack her things and move in. She finally caves, bringing her things to his place and getting settled in one late October day.

The first morning, Jongin tries to cook breakfast for her and sets off his smoke alarm, making him apologize as Taemin sleepily comes out and explaining he'd wanted to do something nice. She jokes that he's still a show-off and promises that cereal is fine. They sit and eat, and Jongin realizes it's the first time he's seen her without makeup, making his heart skip in his chest. She feels his staring, keeping her head down as she grows insecure, but he tells her she's really pretty and makes her blush instead. Her features are so soft and cute without all the added changes, sweet and feminine though he’d expected her to look more boyish. (He tries not to think of her that way at all of course, but he’s still learning.)

Jongin soon realizes his mistake in letting a girl live with him, feeling himself fall for her all the more as he spends more time with her and realizes how much he likes her. Without the worries of paying rent (as Jongin refuses to take a penny), Taemin doesn’t have to work quite so often, regaining energy for the first time in years and showing more fun, softer, playful and brilliant sides of herself. It’s hard not to fall, Taemin constantly making Jongin’s heart palpitate and leaving him longing for her.

Within a couple months, Jongin catches her at the doorway of her room and kisses her, confessing how attracted to her he is. Taemin is surprised, having thought his feelings would change after learning about her, but Jongin promises he doesn't care if she's trans, he just likes her and that's that. From then, they start going on dates which soon devolves into a relationship, though they don't have – Taemin doesn't want Jongin to sleep with her before surgery, afraid it will ruin things despite Jongin constantly assuring that he doesn't care. Still, he promises to wait for her, helping her save up more until she can finally afford it after another year.

The surgery is a success, and Jongin cares for her in the months after, eventually asking her to marry him. She's the only girl he's ever wanted to be with this way, and he's known forever that he wants to spend his life with her. Taemin is shocked, breaking down crying but agreeing to it, and almost a year later they get married, deciding to wait until their wedding night to have their first time. They're both nervous – especially Taemin, because despite being twenty-seven at this point, she’s still never had , and is even more worried after the surgery – but after that Taemin admits she could definitely get used to it.

Jongin tells her they have their whole lives to get used to each other, beyond in love with her and planning to show her as much as he can. She’s finally happy with her body, and he wants her to always know just how perfect she is to him.

 

 

Author's Note: 

I feel like this story has a lot of potential for more - if I wrote it out, I would include more about the way they interact over time and the way Jongin's feelings build even when they aren't close yet. There could also be additional focus on the success of the group musically, descriptions of the wedding, and more details on Jongin's growth as a person, as well as Taemin's struggles with her identity. As a trans person myself, I've always wanted to write about trans characters to tell our stories and give some representation ♡ as well as much-deserved happy endings!

(As a side note, Jongin sometimes says/thinks things that aren't exactly appropriate, like expecting Taemin to look more like a boy without makeup. This is to show how he as a non-trans person would experience things, and is part of his learning journey, not a reflection of my personal views/behaviour.)

Please let me know what you think, if you enjoyed and/or would enjoy a full version in the future! ♡