Crazy (Rich)

My Crazy (Rich) Girlfriend (and her quirky family)
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Thank you for the unexpected massive support and interest from the prologue. For that, I figured it will be better to turn this into a two-shot. Enjoy.

 

 

“Perfection comes at a sacrifice” - Kevin Kwan, Crazy Rich Asians

 

 

 

Let’s not be mistaken, Winter adores her beautiful girlfriend.

 

Erase that.

 

Winter adores Katarina Jimin.

 

(“Babe, why do you always say my full name?”

 

“It’s a lovely name, babe.”

 

“Then why are you huffing while saying it?”

 

“What was that, Katarina Jimin?”

 

“...nothing, love.”)

 

Sure, her girlfriend can be endearingly naive,

 

(“Babe! Look! They have this small paper thingy that gives you free food!”

 

“Haha, are you talking about money, babe?”

 

“What, no!” Winter turns around to see her girlfriend holding stacks and stacks of coupon. She can already feel the migraine coming in her head at the bright innocent smile the other was sending at her.

 

“...Babe, where did you get this?” Winter did not know it was possible for her girlfriend to smile any brighter.

 

“The kind lady down the store says she will give it to me if I buy her goods!”

 

Winter heaved a deep breath and stepped closer to inspect the coupons. She ignored the boxes of packed ramen behind her girlfriend’s legs. She also ignored the fact that the store her girlfriend was probably referring to was the one that knowingly sells products past its expiration date.

 

“Babe. These are one dollar coupon for a cup of ramen.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“...Babe, you can only use one coupon for every pack of ramen purchase... it’s not for any and every

ramen...” trailed off Winter.

 

“...What?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Noooo!”

 

So, of course they had to eat ramen for weeks. Thankfully they stopped; unfortunately, their savior came in the form of diarrhea.

Her girlfriend was upset for weeks, and no, it was not because of the trips to the toilet.

 

“Minjeong-ah, we wasted so much food.”

 

“...Babe, they were poisonous.”

 

Winter had to take sculpting classes and turn those packets of ramen into a sculpted grumpy puppy – it was supposed to snarl but it ended up looking like a constipated old man. Never mind that the classes and materials it took for her to sculpt that constipated ramen dog cost more than those boxes of expired ramen.

 

She’d rather see her girlfriend’s giddy smile whenever she passes by that atrocious sculpted ramen.

 

“Woah, babe! It really looks just like you! I will call it Min-dungie!”

 

It became one of her girlfriend’s prized possessions.

 

Safe to say she had to impose a hard ban on packaged ramen from that point on.

 

Scratch that, any edibles that only had three months left to live were banned on her apartment from that point on.)

 

 

Or really annoying,

 

(“Please, let me go.”

 

“Winter. I just want to let you know. You will always have me. I will bark forever for you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, forgive me for believing that I have already experienced the beauty of my life before I met you!”

 

“Let... me... go.”

 

“Minjeong, please!”

 

“I am telling you, Katarina Jimin. If you don’t let me go in the next three seconds, I will make sure to feed you dog food for the rest of your life!”

 

“...Is that a challenge?”

 

“What? No! Let me go! Please, I need to go to the toilet!”)

 

Despite those, she adores her girlfriend.

 

Sure, it helps that her girlfriend has the features of a pop idol with her doe bright charcoal orbs, envious silky rich and wavy long hair that effortlessly makes her looks like a commercial film star, or her long limbs and perfect bona fide supermodel proportions – she realized, none of those mattered for her.

 

And no, it was not because she witnessed her girlfriend puke her guts out or planted herself in the toilet for not letting those overworked ramens to peacefully kick the bucket.

 

No, she adores her girlfriend –idiosyncrasies and all– for her for her good heart.

 

For being the amazing person that she is.

 

Minjeong “Winter” Kim adores Katarina Jimin from head to toe, from inside and out, from now and until she finally reaches her expiration date. Maybe even after that. (Who knows with her girlfriend’s tendencies with shelf lives.)

 

They may not have been together for a long time; she knows there are still... quirks that they have yet to discover about each other (mainly Karina’s; Winter’s pretty normal and boring compared to her human sunshine girlfriend), but Winter was certain of one thing.

 

Her heart will continuously, persistently, and patiently adore her beautiful, naïve, and annoying girlfriend.

 

Nothing will change that.

 

So of course, when her girlfriend invited her to accompany her to her older cousin’s wedding not only as her plus-one to the wedding but to formally introduce her to her family, Winter did not hesitate to agree. Eager as well to finally meet the family her girlfriend clearly treasures yet struggled with, even took the measures to book their flight and everything.

 

Winter never probed about the matter. Respectfully giving her girlfriend the space she needs when she would get that faraway look in her eyes whenever she saw families happily walking down the park. Winter learned that the only way to uplift the obscure cloud in her girlfriend’s eyes was a plate of home-made freshly cooked spicy rice cakes.

 

Now, stepping foot in her girlfriend’s home country, she couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine when she took a glance at the other. Long silky hair carelessly being swept by the wind, lashes fluttering as she embraces the welcoming gust of wind, with the warm light from the sun serving as her backdrop.

 

Karina looked so at ease, so happy, and so soft as she finally came home.

 

So beautiful, so ethereal that Winter wants to cry for those people who doubted her membership in the alphabet community.

 

(“Winter, you are just not gay enough.” Winter let out a scandalized gasp at the accusation.

 

“How dare you!”)

 

Winter just knows that she had finally reached the golden platinum of the alphabet community card.

 

(Looking back, Winter realized had it not been for her girlfriend’s stupid beautiful eyes, stupid soft lips, and just stupid beautiful self; she would have noticed how the people around them gawked and buzzed around them as they moved aside for the beauty.

 

It also took Winter a little while to realize that the stewardess at the airport earlier who kept calling her girlfriend’s name – was in fact calling for her girlfriend’s name; presumably to assist them to the first-class cabin. She should have known that cheeky brat was trying to distract her when she pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead in the middle of the crowd before dragging her to their seat. They flew couch.

 

She was just glad that the plane was not full, there were barely any passengers, and the cabin crew even allowed them to have the whole row of seats with full amenities for each of them to stretch their legs and get some comfortable shut-eye.)

 

(Reality: Karina wanted the not so discreet whispering crowd to see who she belongs to.

 

And she also did not want to waste her girlfriend’s efforts for arranging their flight –knowing that her girlfriend even almost manhandled a crew for saying that a seat was not available– she will just send her apologies for throwing daggers at the stewardess while she rested her lips at her girlfriend’s temple. Karina felt ingenious with that move, protecting her girlfriend with a kiss?!

 

The cabin crew had to clear the section of their seats to accommodate the privacy and security of the young mistress.)

 

 

 

The two were welcomed by an excited squeal once they stepped foot outside the airport terminal.

 

“ACKK! KK! Welcome home!” Winter smiled in amusement as a blur figure bulldozed against her girlfriend, almost tackling the latter to the ground. “GG!” Karina tightly embraced the buzzing figure who immediately pushed her away, cupped her cheeks, smacked her, and then hugged her again.

 

Before Winter can take a step back from the buzzing energy of the two, she found herself smothered with three kisses on both cheeks. Winter can only smile awkwardly and tries to match the other’s enthusiasm.

 

Winter ignores the stares they were getting from the shrieks or maybe it was because of the big red bright balloon that hovers at them that made Winter think of Pennywise the Dancing Clown.

 

“It is so great to finally meet you, Wintuh! Oh-em-gee! KK, your girlfriend is so adorable!” The excitement bubbling out of the woman did not help. It sounded like an excited seal; in this case, an excited murderous clown.

 

Winter ignored the butcher of her name. The woman does have a slight foreign accent – only becoming noticeable in the pronunciation of her name, or maybe it was the roll of her ‘R’s.

 

“She is, isn’t she!” Winter was worried that the woman’s head might fall off her neck for rapidly bobbing her head in agreement with her girlfriend. Like a bobblehead when you pull their chin hard enough and leave it bobbling off its spring.

 

 

“My name is Giselle! You can call me GG! It’s pronounced as ‘Gee-Gee’ and not ‘Gie-Gie’. Okay? I am the and only best friend of this lady right here. Remember that, Wintuh! Eeekk! Anyways, come! The city awaits!”

 

Karina sent an apologetic smile to Winter but did not stop her best friend from dragging her girlfriend to the unknown.

 

 

 

 

Aside from the red balloon that Giselle insisted on bringing everywhere, the trio certainly had their fun– all while looking like a demonic dancing clown is waiting to drag them to a sewer. It was not necessary but Winter did take a double take at every sewer they passed by, noting that most cannot fit an adult, much less a demonic clown.

 

 

 

They explored the streets of the city, took lots of photos, went to the night market and ended their day with the trio stuffed with rich delicacies that perfectly captured the culture of the city.

 

 

 

“KK! How could you not tell any of us you were coming home! If it wasn’t for unnie... Hmp! Yeji and Lia were supposed to come as well but the aunties dragged them back!” pouted Giselle as she turned the engine of her vehicle off in front of a tall building.

 

‘Karina didn’t mention we will be staying at a hotel...’ thought Winter, watching as the best friends get off the station wagon. The thought left the New Yorker’s mind as soon as her girlfriend sent her another one of her nose-scrunched smiles.

 

“It was supposed to be a surprise.” consoles Karina with a laugh to her sulking best friend. Giselle huffs in amusement and crosses her arms with a challenging look. “You really believed you can pull it off?” Karina only shrugs her shoulders in response.

 

 

“Thank you for today, GG. We’ll see you at the party.” whispers Karina to her best friend’s ears as they embrace each other. “You’ve been gone for far too long, KK. You should get her ready first to face the wolves.” whispers Giselle in return with a soft tap to her friend’s shoulders.

 

 

“Take care, Wintuh! I’ll see you soon!” bids Giselle to Winter with a loud smack to the other’s cheeks. Winter chuckled awkwardly at the affection, saying her gratitude to the bubbly girl and bidding her farewell as well.

 

 

 

And as the dead of the night comes, like every other night, the couple found themselves entangled with each other. Winter was being lulled to sleep by the gentle caresses of her cheeky monkey.

 

Karina would always smile so bright whenever Winter calls her that; as if proud of pushing the latter’s buttons enough to earn a nickname

 

Winter finally asks the question she often found herself refraining from– in hopes of letting the other woman to come to her in her own.

 

“Baby...”

 

“Hm?” responds Karina with a nuzzle to Winter’s temple.

 

“What is your family like?” Winter bit her lip with a grimace when she felt her girlfriend stilled at her question but decided to push through with her questions.

 

“Is there a reason why we are staying at a hotel instead? Not that I’m complaining by the way!” clarified Winter immediately, noticing the furrow in her girlfriend’s brows. Nervous at the other’s reaction, Winter started to fiddle her fingers only to stop when her girlfriend drew a soothing pattern in her hands.

 

Karina brought them back from their previous position– with Winter laying in her chest, and her playing with the latter’s hair. After making sure that the younger is comfortable, Karina smiled in her girlfriend’s temple and answered her question.

 

 

Winter fell asleep with a smile in her face, lulled to her dreamland by her lover’s soft laughs and unforgettable stories of a warm-hearted childhood.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

The couple found themselves separately in the different parts of the city the next day. Winter with finally visiting the home of her college best friend who had been nagging her for ages; and Karina being called for an impromptu lunch date with her other best friends – the ones that Winter hadn’t met yet.

 

“Can I pick you up later, babe?”

 

“It’s fine, baby. Ningning can drop me off, if not I can take the taxi or whatever.” waves off Winter. Karina contemplated for a moment before striking a deal with her girlfriend but also agreed to send the address to Winter later.

 

“Hm, or I can have someone pick you up. It’s dangerous to ride a taxi at night!”

 

“Aw, baby. How about this, I’ll gaslight Ningning into dropping me off, if not... I’ll message you instead, okay?” The taller woman pouted for a moment before agreeing, cheekily sneaking a kiss and nuzzling into the crook of her smaller girlfriend’s neck.

 

 

 

 

So, here Winter is, gaping in amazement at the shining gold-plated gate that slowly opened itself before her. She didn’t get the chance to ask the taxi driver if he dropped her off at the right address when the cab immediately took off.

 

“This is crazy...” whispers Winter in astonishment, taking in the mansion that was accentuated with a... golden goldfish statue? There was also a fountain in the middle of the driveway that seemed to be sprouting coins instead of water.

 

“MATH DOG IN THE HOUSE! WHAT UP, ? YEAH!” Winter was met with the screeching voice of her best friend; a smile immediately took over her face at the familiar loud voice of her good friend.

 

“NINGNING!”

 

“Wow...” Winter took another good look of her friend and nodded in approval. The woman clearly dyed her hair in a bright shade of red and tied it into a high ponytail, wearing a paired tiger print skirt paired with stripes. "I haven’t seen you since forever! You look great!”

 

“I know right. Some things never change hihi...” Winter rolled her eyes affectionately at the smack she received and the woman’s shrill dolphin laugh.

 

She never thought she’d miss that.

 

“And this is quite the place...” mutters Winter in amazement.

 

 

‘Arf! Arf!’

 

 

“Apple! Amazon! Tesla! Stop running!” Winter shared a look at Ningning who only gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Nokia was my first best friend.” whispers Ningning, as if it would explain the names of their dogs.

 

“Mrs. Yizhuo.” greets Winter with an embrace to her friend’s mother. “Oh! Winter! You so thin! Hng. The driveway is so hot. Come in, come in and enjoy the aircon.” pats Mrs. Yizhuo to Winter’s cheeks. The woman immediately turned and carried the barking tiny dog. She was immediately followed by the other two dogs.

 

“Come, come! Family is very excited to meet you, yes. Very excited!” Ningning drapes her shoulder in support of her best friend and drags her inside their home.

 

“Your house is amazing, Mrs. Yizhuo.”

 

“You’re such a sweet talker, Winter. Call me Auntie, okay? Auntie Yizhuo.”

 

“Of course, Auntie Yizhuo.” Winter awkwardly stood with a smile as the older woman hastily throws the squeaking dog toys behind the couch. Despite the clutter of said toys – Winter could not deny the extravagance of the mansion. Every nook and corner were beautifully gilded, accentuated and complemented well by the marble columns.

 

“We were inspired by the Windsor Palace in England!” continues the woman with jazz hands and bright smile.

 

“And The Bachelor. She loved that show.” whispers Ningning softly as they watch her mother jazz around the living room. “Really?” whispers Winter back. “Hm.” confirms Ningning with a look that just screams – Yes, my family is crazy. But not me.

 

“You like it or not?” asks Mrs. Yizhuo with an excited smile. “Oh yes, especially the gold goldfish... that – that was brilliant.” answers Winter with a barely convincing smile.

 

“Hihi yes, yes! Perfect! Come, come! Lunch is ready!” Winter followed the welcoming animated figure of the older woman, letting herself be dragged by her best friend to sit at the other end – away from the constant chatter of the matriarch of the house. They were joined by Ningning’s younger siblings.

 

 

 

“Winter Kim, we will forever be. Grateful to all. The help you have given. My Ning back in her Uni days. Without you. She would be. Wiping. Asses.” Winter had to force herself not to react at the man’s intoning voice. He sounded like a commercial AI from the 80’s. The Elvis Presley hair and tights did not help.

 

 

“Oh no, it’s actually the other way around. Ningning was a huge help to me in college. I... I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for her.”

 

It was not exactly a lie. Her scowling and grumpy made her a dark cloud phenomenon for the students – while Ningning’s shrill dolphin laughs, and clap seals did not manage to save her from her forgotten gothic girl era, she can definitely say that the circus shenanigans that Ningning brought was some of the best times of her life.

 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Yizhuo.” smiles Winter kindly to Asian Elvis.

 

“It is. A pleasure. To meet you. As well. Winter. Kim.” The man is now talking in this breathy scratchy voice that Winter is not sure to be impressed or concerned about. Although Winter is pretty sure that the man is trying to copy the late rock and roll singer’s accent but got confused half of the way.

 

It’s like watching Elvis Presley have an identity crisis.

 

The whole table just laughed at her expression – except for Ningning who kept fixing her hair and looking at her reflection at the golden flower centerpiece vase.

 

“Hah! Nah, just kidding. Just messing with ya! I don’t have an accent. I studied in the States as well. Anyways, now, now eat! Make sure you eat it all... because I am watching you.” smiles Mr. Yizhuo to Winter.

 

The man then smiled to the whole table “Eat everyone. We don’t want to be really skinny and look like Winter, right?” the cheery agreements in the table just made Winter smile – undeterred by the very Asian auntie and uncle comment.

 

“So, Winter, what do you do?” Winter swallowed her meal politely first –because her mama raised no animal– before answering with pride. “I am a Mathematics Professor.” The husband and wife stared at her in amazement.

 

“Woah. Maths Professor, eh? Very impressive! Very smart. Good for you. See, hubby!” exclaims Mrs. Yizhuo. Winter smiled gratefully to the two who is now looking at her like every Asian parent would after hearing her job.

 

Beaming. With pride.

 

And judgment, to their own child.

 

“Very good, Winter.” Mr. Yizhuo clears his throat.

“Now, let me get this clear. You both went to the same university, stayed at the same dorms, women of color in a non-spiced country, yet only one came back with a useful degree… and the other one came back as Asian Ariana Grande.”

 

Winter cleared awkwardly at being stuck between the stare-off of the father and daughter duo. She doesn’t want to be stuck in a sing-off between  Asian Elvis Presley and Ariana Grande.

 

“Anyway, what brings you here, dear?” Interrupts Mrs. Yizhuo.

 

“She’s here with her girlfriend, Ma.” answers Ningning for Winter. Winter stared in disbelief at Ningning’s nonchalance. It’s not that Winter is closeted or ashamed or whatsoever, but she definitely does not want to be Elvis Presley and his madame wife’s cause of .

 

This is a spiced country! Traditional! Conservative!

 

Winter hurriedly tried to salvage the situation at the raised brows, “Well, my girlfriend was actually born and raised here. We’re here to go to her older cousin’s wedding, where she’s going to be one of the Maids of Honor. So yeah, that’s why we’re here.” finishes Winter with now a calm smile.

 

Talking about her girlfriend always do wonders for her.

 

“Hmm.” replies Mr. Yizhuo with a shrug, then ate his rice. “What’s her name? This is a very small island, maybe we know her family.” asks Mrs. Yizhuo with an interested look.

 

“Katarina Jimin.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Ah!” laughs Winter shyly, scratched her cheek and with a bashful smile, utters her lover’s beautiful name. “Her name is Katar

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Trumfeet #1
Chapter 2: Tor grabe yung isang nagcomment ahh nagpapakain daw ng pulubi amp, grabe sila kay terwin ahh
Trumfeet #2
Chapter 1: Magdasal kana ter,,,,,,
neko29003
#3
Chapter 2: The fact that you almost predicted ningning's actually insta username is hilarious 😭😭
danonymous #4
Chapter 2: This is amazing 😩😩 Enjoyed very much, thank you for writing it, author!
stillintoyu
195 streak #5
Chapter 2: I really enjoyed reading this but I want more 😭
Yuwreee #6
Chapter 2: This is gold 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕
wonbwon #7
Chapter 2: NING 😭😭😭😭
perp24 #8
That frog scene 🤣🤣🤣
osumnevercease
#9
Chapter 2: so chaotic goshhj, the comment of karina's fans at the ending😭😭
Rayxxx #10
Chapter 2: Karina is so cute here 😭😭