Note: the fanfiction is inspired by a on-trend Vietnamese quote. The top 2 lines are from a poem named "Treo Tình" by Thục Linh:
"Uống nhầm một ánh mắt,
cơn say theo cả đời.
Thương thầm một nụ cười,
cả một đời phiêu lãng."

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For no reasons, Kyuhyun put his mind on nine clouds, aimlessly looked around and ignored all the words from the Math teachers, and randomly remember a story that he accidentally read it online.

It was about a seventy-year-old man who had been single for more than fifty years. His ex-wife, passed away in her twenties, since the cancer had maligned until one point the doctor only gave them to be ready any time. He could not move on since, the first time he saw her, he knew she was his life, and noone was more beautiful than her. Although sometimes, loneliness tortured him, shredded his heart into ugly pieces, he did not have enough space in his heart to love the after-one. It had always been her, and it will always be her.

Kyuhyun agreed, it was undeniable that the story was emotional and thrilled people to read more, yet the discussion under comments about love was such absurd. As a cynical as possible, he did not believe in falling in love as first sight that will make people felt drunk for the rest of the life. Well exception always happened, but for him, it would never happen in his life.

He did love some of nice girls in high school, received many love confession, and all of his relationship all ended with falling out of love with each other at some point. Even he himself was busy burying his life in those math equation in order to be in Olympics finale and National Mathematic Competition.

More important, people would make a fuss about him not being able to study well, whilst his Dad was a chairman of an academy. Remembering that fact already made him grunted, and furthermore, it was about his dream: being a singer.

His father would not allow him to become a singer unless he got accepted into a prestigious college, and he would support him all of his mind. Well, as a good child yet he did not want to deny his dream, therefore he ought to fight hard. Thus at least, his hard-work and endless sleepless hours had paid him off well, since the moment his father gave him blessing, he was free.

The moment he walked around in SM company during orientation was something that he could not describe. The dream of having his own album, singing on the stage, contacting with his fan, being famous was coming closer than ever.

Regardless of having a few friends everything went well for Kyuhyun, and at least he befriended with a few that debuted recently. He kept having his regular schedule until one day, a random manager dragged him to a room that he assumed the practice room. He saw twelve men standing inside, gave him a hard stare. Kyuhyun asked the manager more than three times after the announcement.

-From today, you will become a member of Super Junior.

-I apologize but... did you just say... I will be in Super Junior?

-Yes.

-You are not mistaken me as others elder trainees, are you sir?

-No, I am not, the CEO told me to put you in their team. Now go and say hi.

Alright, he had more stuff to tell his friends already. The introduction went smoothly, until his eyes landed on a sight of big round eyes, he felt how his heart contracted to gave a big beat than ever. The tanned skin on his face fit the broad, well-built body so well. The more Kyuhyun kept his eyes on that person's, he could feel louder, more rapid heartbeats running inside his body and for so long, he felt butterflies inside his stomach again.

Until then, he heard the manager called out the man's name for attendance during observation time.

Siwon.

Oh no, Kyuhyun knew this feeling, exactly the same with the moment when he brought his tomato's face and confessed to his first love at school's rooftop. Using all of his final conscious moment, he immediately called for Changmin and Yunho, Kyuhyun's best friends in the company.

-He is a boy—Changmin reminded him.

-Of course, he is a boy goddamn it! You see how muscular and how tall he is!

Yunho wrinkled his eyebrows:

-You called us to come over to your house to help you with your stupid fat crush to a dude in a boy band? That's it? If you like him, then you just like him, what else 'cha need?

Sighing, Kyuhyun tucked his face:

-Well then, all of the dates and crushes I had before were for women, this is the first time I feel like this to a male okay? Therefore I am freaking out obviously.

Yunho took out from his backpage a big stack of magazines with all of the women with all pretty face. Another stack was pulled out from his backpack, and this time had some charismatic, handsome man as the cover. Changmin gave out a smooth whistle, with Kyuhyun furrowing his eyebrows. He questioned:

-Why do you have these with you?

-Answer later, now do you like her?

-Well ye? She looked y? But no, I would not date her.

-How about this?—Yunho then gave out a cover magazine of another female.

Kyuhyun as always, pout out his lips a little, eyes focused on the figure on the paper, then he shook his head. The two friends continued showing him others magazine with others variety types of women: y, mysterious, innocent vibes, sister vibes... One more time, he shook his head for all of them. Running all of magazine that had female as cover, Changmin and Yunho started to bring some male posed his top body for Kyuhyun, and they received a grimace from him:

-You joking? No thanks, he doesn't look as good as Siwon.

Changmin rolled his eyes:

-Oh now Siwon. How about this Siwon?—Then he pulled out the page that had Siwon. He was wearing a white shirt with top ed, therefore his tanned skin with muscular chest was all visible.

Oh God! Not again, he could feel his cheek were both heating up, and his eyes were not moving away to the female model that had her arms around his neck at all. The intense aura that Siwon gave out from the picture was irresistible, and Kyuhyun knew, he would pay everything he had to be touched by him.

Kyuhyun only came back from reality after seeing a hand-snap in front of his sight, and felt guilty for ignoring his friends. They told him he looked indifferent compared to a tomato right now, and it did not make him stop blushing at all.

-Finally, he came back to earth. So, how was the fantasy being ed by Siwon? Do you like it?

Kyuhyun gave out a death glare, which he knew it did not affect them either:

-Shut up Yunho, and no, I don't fantasize that. Stop assuming I do, or else I will kill you mate.

Changmin gave out a big laugh, and ask pouting one:

-Then what are you going to do? Are you going to tell him?

Kyuhyun gave a harsh eye-roll to him, snapped back at his friend "intelligence":

-Hey, you good? It only takes me a day to have a crush on him and you advise me to tell him? Need to go to the psychiarist asylum mate?

-Well watch out what you said, karma is a for sure.

The conversation stopped since then, they did not talked about Kyuhyun's feeling for Siwon anymore. He decided to follow through the flow in it, and did his best to wrap puppet love into a thick box, and digged it into the ground. More important, he needed to focus on working in the team, having his own project and variety shows, and dealing with harsh treatment from the leader.

He even prayed to Lord, talked to Changmin, read on internet some advice how not to fall in love deeper with the one, but Kyuhyun threw all of his effort into the sea. Every time slumping down on his bed, he could not stop thinking about Siwon. If he had some free time, his mind would be filled with that handsome Choi doing all romantic to him. The worst of all was when Kyuhyun tried to use his mind to reject the feeling, yet his heart was having roller-coaster everytime he saw Siwon's face, and his body was all tense when the slightest skin ship between him and Siwon happened.

Kyuhyun obviously did not have any reason to hate interacting with Siwon, but in order to stop himself from revealing his feeling, he needed to resist the man. Only the resist would not make him look suspicious, would make him stop being addicted into the warm. Only resisting with all his mind could stop himself from day-dreaming about his love would be returned back.

Kyuhyun was not an idiot that did not know Siwon's affection did not belong to him only, it was for every member in group. More than whoever, he understood well, to Siwon he was nothing more than a friend. He even admired of his bland face acts that covered his foul mood perfectly as he saw the amount of skinship his crush did that to the other member. He felt astonished about himself acting normally as he saw Siwon flirting with other beautiful actresses on the teli. As normal, the magic spell "I am a friend to Siwon." was the good one to temporarily cure his reaction.

It would not be a problem until Kyuhyun got himself into a trap when he saw Siwon's smile. It was so sincere, so bright, and the dimples on the man's cheeks brought that smile to a perfection. Kyuhyun only needed that smile, and his mood would lighten for almost all the time. That got into his mind more, more, more, to the point he did not stop complimenting about Siwon's dimples in front of Changmin, Yunho and now Ryowook.

Changmin said only a few words, but it enlightened Kyuhyun:

"Drink a sight mistakenly, drunk half a life. Love a smile secretly, drift about a lifetime."

Ryeowook after listening to his story, did not say any word. He usually sharp-tongued him, but for that time, he just gave Kyuhyun a pat on his back, and genuinely smile at him, told him to release all out. It was then, Kyuhyun quietly let his tear streamed down on his cheeks, without intention to rub them away, since he could not hold back anymore.

-Why must he be a skinship Ryeongu? That skinship is not for me alone. His possessiveness not only was for me, it was for Donghae-hyung, Eunhyuk-hyung, Heechul, and more... His arm is not only around my waist, but also around many chicks on telivision show!

Ryeowook continued patting the latter's back as Kyuhyun paused the speech and tried to muffle his sobs, gave out a long hum in response. Yet seemed like Kyuhyun failed to do that, since his sob was getting louder, and more gaspes between the sob:

-Why it must be... him? He is hella straight! He... even has... girlfriend... Why must he always in my mind... why do I... have to feel the pain... like this? What should I do... Ryeongu...?

He did not expect any response from Ryeowook beside the word "sorry" from the smaller man, since he knew, there was no answer. He just got flipped because of a person named Choi Siwon. For ing three years. If only he was brave enough... If only...

No he could not do that, Kyuhyun from sob to snivel and burying his face to Ryeowook's pillow. Kyuhyun himself would not be able to endure the avoidance from the elder, nor the aversion sight from him.

-Are you sure you want to torture your feeling like that?--Ask from Ryeowook.

For a long silence, Kyuhyun got his face out of the pillow, exposed his puffy eyes and gave the older a nod. Although he was not sure how long would the ache follow him, yet for now, Kyuhyun would be careful as much as possible, to mask this love away from the elder.

-No matter how painful it is, I must hide it away Ryeongu... he must not know... even though it is torturing if I have to remind myself whenever I am in his arm... I will take every...

He paused after hearing a knock at the door and opened door. Seeing Heechul leaning at side, with hand on the knob made his heart raised up intensely, since he was not ready to tell anyone besides Ryeowook in the group. Before he said anything, Heechul said first:

-Are you unhappy when you love him?

Kyuhyun startled, then took a deep breath, looked straight into the elder:

-No. I am unhappy because he does not belong to me.

-Ryeowook and I don't like you being sad.

That sentence gave Kyuhyun a chuckle, yet he felt relieved when he saw both of the elder looked relax a little.

-I don't like being sad hyung, but I cannot help about it.

Ryeowook spoke up this time:

-Then does this small talk section help you out even a little bit?

Kyuhyun gave a small smile:

-Yes. For now. Thank you Ryeowook and I hope Heechul hyung will—then he gave a peek on the oldest, who rolled the eyes and cut Kyuhyun's word:

-Oh for God's sake, I knew you like him two years ago already brat!

Kyuhyun's face turned pale and started to worry if he miscalculated anything, and the fear of Siwon knowing his feeling increased. Heechul as if he could read Kyuhyun's mind, reassured the youngest:

-Only Ryeongu and I know your lovely dovey secretly crush. But are you going to be fine?

-I don't know hyung. I don't.

-You know... some people confess the love just to be rejected and then move on really fast. Wanna try that?

Leeteuk's intrusion was a perfection to close the conversation, in which Heechul also left him and Ryeowook alone. In addition, Kyuhyun received too much care for his swollen eyes from the elder (which he made up a perfect lie for it). He also received the excessive care from his crush for his puffy, red eyes, which it made the youngest flutter and heart in ache again. Ah damn it, he murmured himself. That sunshiny grin from Siwon, and those friendly embraces from him constantly made Kyuhyun head over heel for the gentleman again. Using his high IQ from Mathematics competition, he concluded: for now, he would be smitten by Siwon for undefined amount of time, and he believed in that saying, again from Changmin.

Drink a sight mistakenly, drunk half of life
Love a smile secretly, drift about a lifetime.