“You really scared me, you know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your accident, Seungwan.”

The single bed is clearly not comfortable enough for the both of them, but said woman still turns around to face her girlfriend. Joohyun can’t even look at Seungwan without wanting to shed a tear, the bandages making the injuries seem very much worse than it actually is. Seungwan adjusts her position and shifts to the end of her own pillow, lifting a hand to cup her girlfriend’s cheek.

“Joohyun, I’m fine. I can understand you being extra emotional if I am in a life-threatening position but baby… I just have a slight concussion, broken ankle and a sprained wrist.”

“Shut up.”

Joohyun gets infuriated whenever she brings up this topic; Seungwan never takes her seriously and tries to brush it aside always. Although Seungwan’s injuries are not as fatal as she thinks it is but imagine if she had lost the woman that day. Christmas Eve would have been nothing but painful heartache going forward instead of making good memories with her girlfriend. Truthfully speaking, Joohyun would rather burn the bloody phone cases herself if it means Seungwan escaped the accident on that day.

Despite all, however, Seungwan can’t even pretend she’s not pleased at the reaction Joohyun had that very day. She was thoroughly amused by how her precious girlfriend had turned up to the hospital.

“I’m here for Son Seungwan; one of you picked up my call earlier today. Which floor and ward is she in, please?” Joohyun all but yelled at the poor receptionist, her nails tapping on the counter incessantly. It looks a bit rude but Joohyun can’t help that her nerves are all knotted at the moment.

“Just a moment.”

Joohyun feels like the next few minutes are a complete blur, her feet carrying her to the designed level and ward. She wants to see Seungwan so badly whether she’s mentally prepared or not. Her head has been pounding ever since that phone call and the brief conversation with the cab driver might have calmed her very slightly but now… it’s a whole different ball game. A vast majority of the scenarios being illustrated in Joohyun’s head results in Seungwan being in a vegetative state.

When her hand is finally on the door knob, Joohyun can see her vision start to be obscured by unshed tears in her eyes again. If Seungwan doesn’t make it through, Joohyun’s life is going to come to a screeching halt and God knows if it’ll ever start up again.

With a shaky breath, she pushes the door open.

“Son Seungwan!”

Whatever she was expecting or preparing herself for, her expectations have flown out of the window along with her patience.

“Son Seungwan, you little !”

Seungwan is on the verge of crying with laughter as Joohyun continues to smack her with the spare pillow; who would have thought her accident could bring so much laughter to her? It’s quite an unforgettable experience, if you will. “Baby, it wasn’t totally my fault and you know it. You were wearing two different slippers and there was a stinky towel around your when you opened the door… I’m sorry for laughing though.” Seungwan doesn’t hold back a snort, instead trying to nuzzle her nose against Joohyun’s in an attempt to pacify the sulking woman.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. Not at all.”

Joohyun squeezes her eyes shut when she feels kisses being planted along the length of her milky skin; her girlfriend has so much to explain and yet, gets away with it consistently. She finds her own nails digging into the fabric of Seungwan’s hospital gown, butterflies filling her stomach at the thought of them getting naughty.

“No, no. You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” Seungwan mumbles, rubbing the brunette’s back in soothing patterns. She shuffles closer and finally dips her head a bit lower, nuzzled into the crook of Joohyun’s neck. “I’m not doing anything you dislike.”

“You find ways and means to skip the conversation about your accident and I’m tired of it, Seungwan. I want to talk to you and I want to make sure you know what I feel, that’s all. Sometimes, it makes me feel as if I’m silly for overthinking it when you keep brushing it aside. You have no idea how worried I was… what if I had lost you?”

Seungwan listens in silence, taking the time to reflect on how much time she spent trying to run away from the conversation. She knows exactly what Joohyun is talking about, but this is the first time she realizes how wrongly it can come off.

From Joohyun’s perspective, she wants to talk about the accident because she can’t bear to imagine losing Seungwan or even come close to that possibility ever again. She wants to tell her girlfriend everything that she loves about her because God forbid, something else happens and Joohyun fails to convey her love. That sense of foreboding was definitely enough to drive Joohyun crazy. On the other hand, Seungwan hates bringing it up because it reminds her of how close she was to losing Joohyun; there were a couple of minutes where important parts of her life flashed before her eyes.

It was terrifying.

It’s almost like Seungwan knew she was going to die.

When Joohyun begins to sniffle, Seungwan snaps out of her moment of thought. She never knew the extent of Joohyun’s feelings from that day but maybe it’s a good time to start.

“J-Joohyun… I’m sorry. I never meant to invalidate your feelings like that,” Seungwan whispers, her thumb tenderly rubbing Joohyun’s cheek. She leans in to kiss a teardrop away, heart shattering into pieces when a couple of tears morphs into a loud cry.

Joohyun normally hides her tears away or makes sure it never gets too loud but for her to openly wail like this is so heart-wrenching; this almost doesn’t happen.

“Baby…”

“Shut up and hold me.”

Seungwan wraps one arm around Joohyun’s waist this time, the other one sliding underneath her neck so it can act as a pillow. “Come here.”

A person can never be prepared enough to lose a loved one; it comes at no notice most of the time, with no forewarning or pity in the least. There’s a reason why people are usually full of regrets and tears during this painful loss; they don’t make full use of their time together or treat others the way they deserve to be treated. The case with Joohyun and Seungwan is not too different per se, but losing the love of your life just like that would have been completely undeserved.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to overreact or get overly emotional, baby... I just don’t want to risk ending up like my parents.” Joohyun whispers with a hiccup, unconsciously wiping her tears on Seungwan’s hospital gown. “You know the story, don’t you?”  

“Of course. I still think of your sister’s last words to me sometimes.”

See, Joohyun and Seungwan got to know each other because Joohyun’s elder sister used to be Seungwan’s neighbour after she moved out to stay with her wife.

Before they were colleagues, they were also acquaintances.

Seungwan understood the tough relationship Joohyun’s sister had with their parents, since they had gotten married overseas without any heads-up. Too say that the relationship became strained is a gross understatement; their parents all but chased her away during the first three years. Nothing but hellfire and scorn from the family that raised her, what else could she do but stay away from them? Unfortunately, by the time the Baes had gotten round to acceptance and support, Joohyun’s sister died in the hospital whilst her wife was killed on the spot in an accident.

“Always... always treasure your loved ones before it’s too late. You never know when you’re going to lose them.”

She said those words as she held onto Seungwan’s hand that night, before speaking privately to Joohyun. It was one of the most heart-breaking things they’ve experienced, even worse when Joohyun’s sister and her wife died such a wrongful death. 

“I never told you what she said to me back then all these years but one thing for sure, she was definitely rooting for you already. She kept telling me that you were a keeper and I wouldn’t regret giving you a chance. All you did at that time was flirt with me and send me finger guns, I’m surprised you won her over.”

The intense red that takes over Seungwan’s face is obscured due to the lighting but Joohyun can tell she’s nervous; the change in her heartbeat is already giving her away.  

“I’ll have you know those finger guns have earned me many smiles, Bae Joohyun.” Seungwan huffs, knocking her girlfriend’s head with her knuckles playfully. She’s just thankful Joohyun is no longer crying; everything else can be looked over.

The two women lay in silence, basking in the comfort of each other’s arms; moments like this where they get to reflect together is irreplicable. Just days ago, Joohyun could have lost Seungwan.

Pressing her lips against Joohyun’s forehead, Seungwan whispers words from the heart. “I promise I’ll be more careful from now on so you don’t have to worry about losing me like that ever again.”

“You better or else.” Joohyun looks up with a pout, eyes glaring into her girlfriend's little puppy ones. She readjusts herself so their eyes are level, tucking Seungwan’s baby hair behind her ear. “I love you so much. I don’t think I’d be able to live if I lost you just like that.”

“I love you too.”

With her index finger twirling Joohyun’s stray strands of hair absentmindedly, Seungwan tries to find the right words to describe what she wants to say. Joohyun has her eyes closed with her forehead leaning against Seungwan’s, holding her girlfriend tighter when Seungwan starts to crack too – she would have lost her world just like that.

“I wasn’t avoiding the topic because I didn’t think your feelings were important... I was terrified that day, Joohyun. My life flashed before me when I was on the ground and all I could think about was you. Your smile, your hugs, your gestures; my mind was so full of you and yet, I felt myself beginning to lose consciousness. You have no idea how scary it is, seeing the love of your life reaching out for you in your memory...”

Seungwan pauses, eyes darting to the ceiling.

“I was screaming for you, begging you to come and get me but I couldn’t. It’s like I was trying to get my voice out but for some reason, you just didn’t hear me. All I could see was your hand stretching out and then it went black. It was so scary, Hyun, that’s why I don’t wanna think about it again.”

Joohyun had no idea what happened on that day other than the accident but to hear Seungwan talking about it in such great detail with raw emotion, it really breaks her heart. She lovingly wipes the flowing tears off Seungwan’s cheeks, giving her kisses at every interval. What else can she do but listen with an open heart?

“I-I’m sorry...”

“Stop crying...” Joohyun didn’t expect to go down this route, with Seungwan babbling tearfully into her chest now. She bends her head ever so slightly, kissing the crown of Seungwan’s head. “You’re okay, baby. We’re okay.”

In the cold hospital room, Joohyun enjoys the warmth radiating from her personal heater with lighter shoulders. Now that they’ve talked about it and explained their own personal views on the matter, it relieves the whole weight internally crushing her chest since the day Seungwan was admitted here. Nothing else matters now that they’re here together, dodging several bullets life throws at them relentlessly. In actual fact, Joohyun hasn’t even opened the gift Seungwan went out to get her, because she too has something for the songwriter.

***

“Ah... my favourite scent.”

Joohyun a brow at the comment, lugging the big duffel bag with her through the doorway. “I think you’re just smelling my perfume, babe. I sprayed some on before I went to pick you up.”

“I know.”

Seungwan throws herself onto the sofa, cheek comfortably snuggled against Joohyun’s pink cushion. She thought matching cushions were also on the cheesy side at first but now? Hell, Joohyun’s cushion is about to be smothered by her.

“Babe, get your up and shower. You need to eat and take your medicine before you sleep too.” Joohyun reminds with a sigh, ruffling Seungwan’s hair affectionately.

Right as Joohyun takes Seungwan’s hand to help pull her girlfriend up, she’s yanked down and pressed against the latter’s body within a blink of an eye. “Son Seungwan! What the hell is wrong with you?” Joohyun shrieks, throwing her fists as best as she can in that rather compromising position. She knows how flushed she is and it’s both worrying yet embarrassing; Seungwan’s injuries aren’t even fully healed. Facing Seungwan’s -eating grin though, Joohyun can’t even pretend she’s upset.

Ignoring the fuss her girlfriend is making, Seungwan hums a sigh of relief with Joohyun in her arms again. Cuddling in the hospital – without the nurses’ knowledge, mind you – was not enough by any means possible. Not to mention the fact that Joohyun can’t stay in bed long since the nurses make their rounds so often.

“Joojoo...”

“Don’t call me that, dummy.” Joohyun rolls her eyes; she can tell just by Seungwan’s tone that the woman is intentionally teasing her. She abhors that nickname. “You’re already on thin ice for pulling me onto you like that.”

Seungwan scoffs and removes her hands immediately, “If you hate it, you can always get off me.”

“Shut up.”

Weeks ago, who would have realised that lying here together could be so utterly blissful? Neither Joohyun nor Seungwan really spent quality time due to their clashing schedules but from now on, no more of that. Work will never finish or lessen, but relationships are supposed to last.

Seungwan gives the older woman a couple of quick kisses before getting up; she still needs to give Joohyun her belated Christmas present after all, even if she almost died while getting them. “I know it’s late but Merry Christmas, love. I know I was a bit slow and I didn’t get the hint but I still hope you like the design of the cases anyway...”

Joohyun bursts into a fit of giggles, kicking her feet in the air whilst she holds her own phone case. She was quite bummed about the colour but the shop itself didn’t have any other variations; the saving grace being their matching initials. Seungwan also took Joohyun’s favourite colour so she’d always think of her whenever she looked at her phone, which is oddly sweet and romantic in Joohyun’s eyes. Whatever Seungwan does, Joohyun will find some positive trait about it anyway so does it really matter?

“Merry belated Christmas to you too, dork. I love you.”

Sinking into her beloved’s arms, Seungwan quickly pulls back when the clock chimes. “Wait, oh my God.”

“What is it now?” Joohyun sighs in exasperation, staring at Seungwan with an annoyed gaze. “Can’t you just kiss me and say whatever it is afterward because I WANT TO KISS YOU!”

With every word Joohyun spits, Seungwan finds herself cowering. She just wanted to take out her phone and check the date, but decides against it. Wrapping her arms around Joohyun’s thighs, Seungwan lifts the older woman and rushes into the bedroom; nothing else fills the house but the sound of two women in love with each other.

The birds begin chirping and the sunrays peek through the gap in their curtains, and Seungwan lies atop Joohyun with bated breath.

“Happy New Year, Joohyun. It’s going to be a good one for us.”

“Happy New Year, baby. Now get back down there and finish me up.” Joohyun demands, one hand pushing Seungwan by the head.

“Yes, Ma’am!”

Yeah, it was going to be a great start to 2023 indeed.

ngl i had half a mind to turn this into major angst but yknow what... i can hold it off for now. happy new year folks! hope you all enjoyed this two-shot, let me know what you think in the comments! :]