I nervously glance at the screen of my phone once again but nothing comes up. 

“Sam, he said he would text you after the date. It’s still early, give it some time.” My friend Jinyoung says as he takes a sip of his iced americano. 

“It’s about to be 9 pm, what do you mean it’s early? He should be dropping her home already and heading over here already.” I cross my arms and keep looking at my phone as if just staring at it would alert Youngjae that he needs to text me immediately.

“Aha…? When was the last time you went on a date again?” He bit his straw and watched me amused. 

I rolled my eyes at him and tried to kick him under the table, but he saw right through me. Even before I could connect with his leg, he scooted back. 

“Oh wait… I forgot you call those hangouts….with Youngjae.” He put the cup down with a bit of force to further enhance his point. “When are you just going to admit that you two are into each other.”

“Jinyoung…we’ve been through this conversation a bunch of times. I can’t… I won’t do something that will potentially mess up my friendship with him. Besides, it’s so obvious it’s such a one-sided thing. Thank goodness Youngjae is such a clueless ray of sunshine… I don’t know what I would do with myself if he realized how I truly feel about him.” I lay my head on the table, close my eyes and sigh. 

I’ve liked Youngjae since we were in middle school but in the beginning, I just blamed it on the sense of familiarity. Once I noticed that my feelings didn’t fade throughout high school, I had to come to terms with them. He is everything to me, the person that guides me, and keeps me grounded and accountable for my life choices. I never have to put up a facade around him because it’s so easy to be vulnerable with him. It that I know he’s like that with anyone he cares about so even though I know I’m special, I’m just his best friend. 

“You are so dumb…”Jinyoung says under his breath and I move my head slightly to glare at him, still keeping it on the table. 

“What was that?” I ask annoyed and he just rolls his eyes. 

“I said you are dumb because it’s so obvious he feels something for you too.” He shrugs and slurps the remaining of his iced coffee. 

“How would you know?” I sit up straight and pick up my phone again. Only 5 minutes have passed since the last time I looked at my phone, this is pure torture. 

“Ummm where should I begin?” He sets the cup down and raises his eyebrows at me. “You guys are joined by the hip most of the time, you guys went to prom together, you guys talk about Coco as your CHILD, he was your first kiss…” I raise my finger at him and try to interrupt but he keeps going. “Ah, ah, ah, it doesn’t matter that it was an accident when you were little, and last but certainly not least… you guys secretly hold hands at the movies…” he whispers the last part and my eyes widen. 

I fumble with my words and end up choking on my saliva. I am a tomato coughing fit and my dear friend Jinyoung can only laugh and pat me on the back. 
 
 “H-how…?” Is the only thing I can choke out as I am still trying to recover from what just happened.
“How do I know?” He smirks and offers me his cup with the remaining ice from his coffee. 

I take it and prepare myself for the revelation. 

“When we go out with our friend group to the movies, you guys leave an empty seat in between the group or always seat at the end of the row. We got curious the last three times so, Bambam would use the bathroom as an excuse to “leave” but he was just sitting like two rows behind you guys to see if something was going on.” 

At some point, while he was talking my mouth dropped, I was in shock because he was correct. I do not know when it started but it was definitely on one of our “hangouts”. We love going out with our friend group but the vibes are different when it’s just the two of us. 

*Flashback* 

Youngjae and I had decided to go watch the latest Marvel movie in the theater because we agreed that it would not feel the same way if we streamed it at my place. We meet up at the movie theater after work and everything was going as it usually does.

“You got the tickets right?” Youngjae asks as he puts his arm around my shoulder. 

“Yep, you getting the snacks right?” I motion to give him his ticket but he pushes it slightly towards me with his free hand, his way of saying you keep it. 

“You want the usual? Medium popcorn, a soda, and some ice cream bites?” He asks while his lips turn into a grin and I nod excitedly. 

There is no line so we order and right away we receive our food. We make our way to the theater and decide to seat in the last aisle, right in the middle. I got the tickets for the fancy theater where there is a space between us to put our food in the middle. It’s extremely convenient for that or for couples who want to make out during the movie. 

“It’s a miracle I still haven’t seen spoilers for this movie, why did we not come opening week again?” I steal a cheesy chip from his tray and pop it into my mouth. 

“Because we were too busy to go see it with the guys. I’m not complaining about it though, it seems we have the whole place to ourselves.” He stole some of my popcorn and I nodded in agreement. 

“True, plus we don’t have to deal with Jackson’s over-the-top reactions either.” A single laugh escapes his lips and an amused grin appeared on my face.

We spent a good amount of time talking before the trailers and ads started to roll. We were enjoying our company when all of a sudden the lights started to dim. 

“Oh, trailers are starting!” I jump on my seat a bit and he chuckles at my excitement. 

“Hey, slow down on the snacking. You won’t have anything by the time we start the movie.” He took away my popcorn which was halfway done and put his empty tray of chips on the sit next to him. 

“Okay okay okay, I’m going to eat my ice cream though…” I whisper and open the lid of the container. 

I hear him chuckle once again and move slightly next to me. I was too busy focusing on my ice cream that I didn’t notice his body get closer to mine. I did notice though when he put his arm around my shoulder which is not a big deal for him but it is for me. He has no idea how much this skinship makes my heart race and why would he? It’s just a friendly embrace, right? For some reason, I decided to go with the flow tonight and lean onto his body a bit more than I would usually do but he doesn’t even flinch. 
 
 “Can I have one?” He sends shivers down my back when he whispers in my ear. 

I nod and raise the container towards him, with his free hand he picks up a couple of bites and eats them. Thank goodness it’s dark in here because I am one second away from turning into a glow stick. Is it really bad of me to want him to whisper to me for my entire life? His sweet cologne invaded my space, his warm breath caressing my cold skin. Nope, nope, stop, focus! It doesn’t take long for us to finish the ice cream, I place the container on my opposite side and lean onto him once again. I immerse myself in the movie but his thumb starts to rub my shoulder and my mind starts running. 

Subconsciously, my right fingers find one of the rings on my left hand and I start to fidget with it. I’m trying hard not to overthink his actions but it becomes impossible when he starts to caress my arm with his fingers. Out of curiosity, I look at him from the corner of my eye because I want to see if he’s as affected as I am. In return I only see him staring forward at the screen with a serene expression. I take a deep breath and exhale as slowly as possible not to tip him off about how truly disappointed I am he’s so calm about the whole situation. The fidgeting with my ring slightly intensifies, along with my feeling of despair but out of the blue I feel Youngjae’s right hand on top of mine. 

I freeze completely, stopping every movement. “I-I’m sorry…I’ll stop,” I whisper under my breath and wait for him to pull his hand back but that doesn’t happen. 

He doesn’t even acknowledge my comment, his eyes are glued to the screen but I’m sure he heard me. I shift my gaze down to our hands and try not to burst at the seams. Is he waiting for me to move my hand first? What is happening? A couple of minutes pass without us moving and I slowly start to relax. As the tension clears up, his fingers slowly start moving across the top of my hand and find their way to the other side of my hand. We end up interlocking our fingers, his thumb softly caressing the side of my hand. 

I bite my lip to keep my smile from showing, I can’t show him how much I’m enjoying this interaction. Maybe he just needs some extra comfort today, it would make sense considering we haven’t been able to see each other in almost two weeks. Yeah, that’s exactly what it is, nothing more nothing less. We spent the remaining of the movie just like that, leaning on each other and holding hands. I purposely forgot about my popcorn, my drink, and the fact that I needed to go to the bathroom by the end of the movie. By the time the credits started rolling, he pulled his hand away and started to stretch. I did the same thing and started to make conversation just to air out the awkwardness I was feeling. 

*End of flashback* 

My wish kept coming true though. We had more movie hangouts at the theater after that one and it would start as a game more than anything. I’d start poking his hand to annoy him or he would ask to see if his fingers were longer than mine or the newest addition, putting his hand above my knee which didn’t last long because I would end up holding his hand even if I did enjoy that particular action. At some point, it just started happening without us having to instigate it, it's muscle memory at this point. 

“That doesn’t mean anything Jinyoung…” I say mostly to myself. 
 
 “Stop psyching yourself out Sam, you know how he feels and if he accepted this date it’s because he’s too nice to say no.” His hand reaches out to me and pats my shoulder.

“I guess…” I sigh and at that instant, my phone vibrates. My eyes widen and I quickly grab the phone to see if he had texted me. Indeed, it was his nickname, My Sunshine, that popped up on my screen. 

☀️:Hey…

S: Hey, how did it go?

☀️: It was nice, she’s a cool girl…

S: Okay, aaaaannnddd? What’s the verdict? Is she girlfriend material or nah?

☀️: Ummm well, we have another date this weekend.

I gulp as I read his message and without even processing it my eyes start to water. 

“Sam? What’s wrong?” Jinyoung asks worriedly and I pass him the phone. “Oh…oh, I’m so sorry sweetheart.” He says softly and grips my hand. “What are you going to do?”

I slip my hand away from his grip and wipe the tears that are falling down my cheeks. “Nothing, I’ve lost my chance and that’s okay. I knew this day would come.” I take the phone back and see that Youngjae has texted me again. 

☀️: I am almost at the coffee shop, I’ll see you in like 10 to 15 minutes.

“Well, I am screwed… I’m going to the bathroom to try and get myself together. Don’t you dare leave!” I point at him.

After a good cry and pep talk in the bathroom, I decide to wash my face and go face the consequences of my actions. Youngjae and Jinyoung are sitting side by side facing the window, so as I’m approaching I can hear their conversation a bit. 

“You need to tell her…” Jinyoung says softly and the rest is slightly mumbled.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Youngjae rubs the back of his neck and looks straight ahead. “Sam!” His head turns abruptly and I give him a bit of a forced smile. 

“Hey, how did you know I was coming?” I sit next to Jinyoung, leaving him in between Youngjae and me. 

He gives me a look of “are you kidding? You want me to be in the middle of this awkward interaction?” I give him an apologetic smile and send my gaze to Youngjae. 

“Oh, I saw your reflection in the window. Hey, are you ok? You look like you were crying…” Youngjae watches me worriedly.

“Oh me? No, no, no, no, I’ve been yawning for a while now. I’m either tired or hungry or both.” I chuckle and stretch exaggeratedly. 

 His expression doesn’t change and a moment of silence follows. I bite my lip, the tension could be cut with a knife at any moment and I decided to take that knife and make a run for it. 
 
 “I can’t do this.” I stand up and power walk to the door. I am 100% I look ridiculous but I couldn’t care less. “Gosh, why am I such a coward?” I whisper to myself and open the door.

I am caught up in my own spiraling that I don’t even notice Jinyoung and Youngjae calling my name. It’s not until I am outside ready to sprint like an Olympic athlete that I feel someone grab my arm. I turn around ready to smack whoever is trying to keep a hold of me but it’s Youngjae. He looks a bit bewildered but determined to find out what in the world is going on with me. 

“You can’t do what?” He asks me softly but with confidence. 

I shake my head and try to pull away but he comes closer and envelops me in his arms. I stop fighting, the mere act of being held in the arms of the person I love the most breaks me, and in an instant, I break down completely. He pats my back affectionately and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. 
 
 “Come with me, we don’t have to talk but just come with me somewhere.” He pulls back and tries to find my face with his hands. 

I pull back slightly not wanting him to touch my very soaked and probably snot-filled face but I nod a bit to reassure him I will do what he asks. He. Takes my hand and leads me to his car, opens the door and I immediately look for the secret stash of napkins he has in the passenger compartment. He gets in and we drive in silence until we arrive at our destination.

“The movies?” I look at him confused. “Jae, I, I’m not in the mood to watch anything…” I give him an apologetic look and he just gives me a small smile. 
 
 “Just trust me, okay?” His hand finds a strand of my hair and pushes it behind my ear. 
 
 I am rendered useless when it comes to this man so I just nod and get out. He buys the tickets and we go straight to the theater. We find our seats in the back of the empty theater and I start playing with the rings on my fingers.

“Sam…” Youngjae starts and I turn to look at him. 
 
 “Yes?” I watch him as his left foot starts to jump in a bit of a nervous tick. 

Before he could say anything the lights started to dim and for some reason that gave me a bit more courage. I guess the fact that he would not be able to see me that well due to the lack of lighting made things a bit less awkward. 
 
 “I love you, I’ve loved you for a long time now. And I’m not talking about your best friend, family, or whatever type of love. I mean like I love you because of who you have been, for you are now and for the amazing person I know you will become. Your existence has made mine a whole better and it’s not even because you help me it’s because you are there. I could be going through my rainiest day or my sunniest day and you are just there and I love, love, love that so much. You make everything better, just looking at you, and hearing your voice makes me feel at ease and I do not get that feeling with anyone else….” 

I finish a bit unsure of how I started or how to end my confession. I sink a bit in my seat and let go of his knee which I’ve been gripping for dear life this whole time. 

“Sam.” Youngjae’s voice cracks a bit when he says my name and that makes me snap out of my pity party. His whole body had turned towards me and tears rolled from his eyes. 
 
 “Why are you crying?” I ask a bit panicked and hold his face gently. He leans forward slowly and my eyes widen a bit. 
 
 “Woah, wait, what-“ His lips silence my worries and confusion. I slowly close my eyes and let the moment carry on because I finally feel safe enough to let myself fall into the rhythm of his lips. 

We pull back enough for him to rest his forehead on mine. “I’ve been in love with you too, I just didn’t want to ruin anything… I was planning on confessing on our next movie night but I did doubt doing so when you seemed so excited for me through text. I didn’t have a second date, to be honest with you, I just wanted to see what you’d say.” He pulls back and stares right into my eyes. 
 
 “I hate you.” I chuckle softly and hit his arm gently. “I was having a mental breakdown when I read that!” I pout and he pecks me quickly.
 
 “I’m sorry, I promise to be completely honest and transparent with my feelings from now on. Especially since you are my girlfriend.” He grins and I scoff amused. 

“Girlfriend? You haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend. We haven’t even been on a date ever.” I cross my arms and turn to the opposite side leaving a very shocked Youngjae staring at me. 
 
 “Hey, don’t be a meanie!” He grabs my arm and shakes it like a little kid who had his candy taken away from him. 
 
 “I will not be opposed to it if you ask me nicely~” I tease and poke his nose. 
 
 “Tsk, fine…. but can I still hold hands, hug and kiss you?” He asks shyly and I feel my stomach fill up with a lot of butterflies. 
 
 “Hmmm, I wouldn’t be opposed to that at all,” I say and pull him into a slow and tender kiss. 

THE END. 

 

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☀️Hello my lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this short one-shot. Please share & like.☀️