It all started when Joohyun accidentally discovered, rather, saw a cigarette box with a small blue lighter in Seungwan's bedside table drawer.

Joohyun had the permission, of course, considering she was specifically asked by the blonde to look at her drawer for that change. She then wasn't sure what to think of it so she ignored the bright red box, a couple of sticks only present inside, and slowly closed the drawer, sighing as she did so.

"Thank you, Wan. I owe you one." Joohyun said as she returned to the living room and went towards the main door to give the delivery man the change she got. She smiled and went to grab the box when Seungwan beat her to it, flashing her pearly whites at the older girl.

"Let me, unnie."

And Joohyun let her, not wanting to argue considering she was already sporting a puppy dog eyes at her. She can never resist it. As she closed the door, Seungwan motioned her hand to the brunette, signaling her to come over fast. She chuckled and didn't waste any more time as they digged in, Seungwan immediately spitting out her first bite.

"Now that's just nasty." Joohyun playfully scrunched her face and chuckled after Seungwan grimaced, fanning her tongue that was out of .

"Dan it! It ot!"

"What?"

"It ot!"

"What are you saying?"

"It ot! It bent meh teng!" And Joohyun laughed at that. Seungwan just shook her head, clearly not enjoying Joohyun's teasing. The older girl stood up and quickly went to the kitchen, only to return with two cans of beer on her hand and some ice.

"Figured this might help with the swelling."

"Thank you, unnie. Though i'm still not forgiving you with the teasing." And they both laughed, clearly not expecting this would've happen because of Seungwan's eagerness to eat that damn pizza.

In her defense, she was famished. She specifically didn't had dinner because Joohyun told her that there was a movie night. And movie night means pizza and takeouts and burgers and beers and sojus.

"Sooyoung would never let you live if she knew what happened. That's satan for you."

"Don't get me started with Yerim. Seriously, that girl is also a spawn of satan."

"But i know that you love them."

"Well, for the record, i love all of you."

"I know."

The second time Joohyun saw the box was when she came home very late, due to her overtime at work.

As she set her shoes on the rack and slowly walked inside, she sees a figure lying on the couch, couple bottles of soju and the bright red cigarette box and the same small blue lighter laid on the coffee table, was what caught her attention.

She didn't know if the girls were home but she hoped they aren't. There, lying, was Seungwan with an arm draped over her eyes, the other arm lying limp down the floor with an ashtray a couple of centimeters away from her hand. She noticed five cigarette butts already in and sighed.

She knows what these things do to the body and she never wants Seungwan to slowly kill herself with it. So, she carefully grabbed the ashtray and placed it on the coffee table and went to the blonde to wake her up and let her sleep comfortably on the bed.

"Wan-ah, why are you sleeping here?" She asked softly, slowly removing the blonde's arm from her eyes. Seungwan smiled before opening her eyes and Joohyun felt the air got knocked out from her lungs from the way Seungwan was gazing at her, eyes still dazed with sleep yet were intense.

"I was waiting for you Hyunnie. I made carrot cake." Seungwan replied sleepily, yawning as she sat up and let Joohyun sit on the couch beside her.

"What's the ocassion? Did i miss someone's birthday?" Joohyun suddenly asked and immediately face palmed which just earned a hearty chuckle from the blonde.

"You are a cutie but no, you didn't. Just wanted to bake you your fave since i know you've been busy with work and all."

And to that, Joohyun felt her heart swelled with happiness with Seungwan's gesture. She is a goddamn sweetheart and Joohyun would never deny that. That was one of the reasons why she fell for the girl, but Seungwan didn't need to know that.

"Wan, you're spoiling me but thank you so much. I appreciate it, Wan." And without really thinking, she engulfed Seungwan in a big hug and instantly, Joohyun was greeted by Seungwan's musky citrusy perfume and her lavender shampoo with a little hint of what she calls the 'aftersmoke' smell. But she didn't mind. Not when she's just thinking about the girl in her arms.

They went to share the bed after that and both slowly drifted off to sleep, the silent goodnights thrown before that. Joohyun held Seungwan's hand and a smile etched on her face, Seungwan also mirroring the same smile.

They say, 'third time's a charm' but Joohyun says otherwise.

The third time she saw the bright red cigarette box was not anymore just plainly displayed at the coffee table nor hidden on the drawer but she can actually see it on the back pocket of Seungwan's shorts and there she stood on the balcony, the lit white stick between her pointer and middle finger. She couldn't see the small blue lighter anywhere but she guesses its on Seungwan's other pocket.

She stood frozen, not actually ready to catch Seungwan doing it but as the blonde slowly brought the stick towards , inhaling, the other end of the stick glowing red and puffing white smoke right after does Joohyun wished to become a cigarette stick instead.

She shook her head, weirded out by her thinking, as she slowly and carefully walked towards the blonde, her back still turned to her and wrapped her arms around her tiny waist and right there and then, Seungwan just almost yeeted out the cigarette stick but knows better so she grabbed the ashtray and put it out for the sake of whoever decided to hug her and almost gave her a heart attack.

Seungwan swears that she checked all of the girls before going out here and they were all sleeping soundly so she was shocked to feel her arms wrapped around her. She never wanted Joohyun to see this.

"Why are you awake, Hyun? Its way past your bed time and you have work tomorrow."

"I went to pee and didn't see you in bed so i went out to find you here."

"Go back to sleep. I'll follow later, okay?"

"What are you thinking, Wan?"

It was an innocent question. Curiosity laced in the tone of her voice. Joohyun snuggled closer to the younger girl's nape, her lips pressed against the skin and Seungwan felt tingles all over her body. She placed her arms on top of Joohyun's and she smiled.

"Nothing, unnie." She lied. She didn't want to burden the brunette with her stupid thoughts.

"You can always talk to me, Wan."

"I know...it's just that...i don't want to burden you with my thoughts."

"You don't burden me with anything. I just want that you'll stop keeping your thoughts to yourself. And no, smoking isn't the solution."

And Seungwan laughed at that. She never knew Joohyun would be opposed to her smoking.

"I thought you we're cool with it."

"Cool with what?"

"Me smoking."

"I never was."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause i know you smoke to clear your thoughts."

And Seungwan was amazed. Joohyun had read her like an open book. But still, she was kinda bothered by it. By how Joohyun can just easily read her like that. Its scary. But at the same time comforting.

"I'm sorry." Seungwan blurted out and sadly smiled at the busy night life below her. The white, red, orange, blue lights illuminating the roads. Felt like the city never sleeps with how busy it was.

"For lying or smoking?" Joohyun asked and felt her smile in her nape. The younger girl chuckled and tightened her grip on Joohyun's arms around her.

"Both, actually. And for keeping thoughts to myself."

"You can tell your thoughts to me, Seungwan. I don't judge. And also, i don't want you to keep poisoning yourself like that. Smoking is bad for you, you know?"

And again, she felt Joohyun kissed her nape. Seungwan wasn't sure anymore if it was the wind or Joohyun's kiss that sent electric shocks all throughout her body. The blonde then turned around and she came face to face with Joohyun and pressed their foreheads together.

"I know. Again, it was because i don't want to burden you. I love you, Hyun. But i know i can't. Not when i'm like this. A mess."

She felt a soft pair of lips against her and Seungwan immediately closed her eyes and hummed at the feeling.

'It was heaven' she thought. She deepened the kiss and for a minute, they just let their mouths speak to each other through their kiss.

"And I love you too. Let's be a mess together. I want to carry the burden you're carrying too. Don't push me away."

And Joohyun felt herself in the verge of crying. She shouldn't. Not in front of a broken Seungwan. But it seems that her tears betrayed her as she felt the younger girl kissing her tears away.

"Its gonna be hard from here, Hyun. I'm not exactly who you think i am. And i don't even know if i'll be a good girlfriend to you."

"I just want you, Wan. I already know your flaws. Your strengths. And i accept them all. I love all that you are. Just let me love you, Wan. I'll be here."

"You are so beautiful. I think, no, i am the luckiest person in the whole planet right now." And Joohyun laughed at that. Seungwan was already being the cheesiest cheeseball right after.

"You are beautiful too and i am the luckiest here." Seungwan leaned in, gave a peck on Joohyun's nose and then gave her a chaste kiss on her lips. She wanted to let Joohyun know that she's grateful to have such an amazing woman in her life and to be able to call her girlfriend felt like a dream.

"If we're gonna be girlfriends, then i suppose i have to make things clear here on my end."Joohyun suddenly said and Seungwan immediately lifted up her head and the older girl was afraid if the blonde gave herself a neck injury with how fast it snapped. She heard it crack.

"I don't like where this is going."

"Now you are just being a big baby."

"You gonna tell me to quit, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"I just told you that it's not gonna be easy from here on, Hyun."

"I know, Wan. But you need to. I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself. Please Wan."

"You're lucky you're cute."

"If you ever felt the urge to smoke, just kiss me. If i'm not here, then think about me. For everytime you fight your urges, then who knows, i might be able to give you plenty rewards."

And at that Seungwan's ears perked up. Joohyun just gave her a smirk and captured the blonde's lips on her, this time, Seungwan felt another chill run down her spine with how this Joohyun was feisty aggressive one and she loves it.

"Think maybe i can claim my reward now?" Seungwan asked, hopeful, still catching her breath as they both parted and rested their foreheads together.

"I just saw you smoked a while ago and your breath, even though it smells minty, i can still smell the 'aftersmoke' smell so no, you can't."

And they both laughed at their antics. Seungwan pulled the older girl tighter to her and kissed her forehead. Joohyun felt herself blush at the contact, still also in a daze that the Son Seungwan is already her girlfriend.

"Aftersmoke smell?"

"Yeah."

"That's cute."

"You are cute."

"You're cuter."

"Now maybe is the time we both head to bed? Cause i feel like this banter won't end." Joohyun chuckled as she reluctantly detached herself from the younger girl, already missing her warmth, as she tugged Seungwan's hand and led them towards her room and they got comfy under the sheets in a matter of seconds.

"No funny business, Son Seungwan."

"Damn. Here i was thinking maybe we could heat up the bed since its kinda cold, you know, Hyun?" Seungwan playfully suggested and wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis and Joohyun can't help but roll her eyes at her girlfriend's not so subtle remarks.

A minute passed and Joohyun thought Seungwan was already asleep when she heard the younger girl called her.

"Unnie?"

"Hmm?"

"You think the girls would be shocked to know?"

"Probably not. For all i know, they have been waiting for this to happen too. I can hear Sooyoung right now, 'can't you just ing date already? Your eyeing makes me want to puke it's not even funny." And they both laughed at that. Sooyoung's foul mouth is one of a kind.

"Don't stress it out, Wan. They'll be glad that's for sure."

"Yeah. Just can't help it." And she interlaced their fingers together.

"Go to sleep, Hyun."

"Goodnight, Wan."

"Goodnight, Hyun. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Wannie."

And as they drifted off to dreamland, the smile on their faces bright and contented, Seungwan let her worries not bother her anymore because Joohyun was there. She's her anchor. She will be the one to balance Seungwan.