Day 32

3:09pm

Soojin:  Oh, you're taken?

Soojin: hahaha

Soojin: you act like you're not

Seen 12:48am

12:49am

Susan 🐺: well technically im not 

Susan 🐺: anymore

Susan 🐺: h e h e

Seen 1:05am

1:07am

Susan 🐺: have you ever felt this kind of pain

Susan 🐺: why

Susan 🐺: im shivering

Susan 🐺: i

Susan 🐺:i

Susan 🐺: icant breathe properly and i feel something is stabbing my chest

Susan 🐺: why does it hurt so bad

Seen 1:10am

1:11am

Susan 🐺: i woke up earlier not knowing what should i do first

Susan 🐺: everything, every single thing became nothing. it went blank? like everything became worthless to me

Susan 🐺: i cant even type properly because im still shivering hahshhhahaha

Susan 🐺: i just feel like crying and crying and screaming until i burn myself out

Susan 🐺: after all these years

Susan 🐺: after i gave my all

Susan 🐺: i

Seen 1:16am

1:16am

Susan 🐺: the more i talk about her, the more it hurts

Susan 🐺: memories of our past keeps on flashing inside my mind and i couldnt stop crying ruhjt nr

Susan 🐺: eihjt now

Susan 🐺: right now

Susan 🐺: SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE SHE WAS MY FUXKING FIRST LOVE 

Susan 🐺: WhY?

Susan 🐺: did i do anything weong? anuthing that made her upsrt??

Susan 🐺: Am i noj enoojh??

Susan 🐺: not enough****

Seen 1:33am

1:34am

Susan 🐺: am i ugly

Susan 🐺: most of the time i doubt my self if i was perfect for her but never my beauty lmao i know im ing y and gorjus

Susan 🐺: gorjuice*

Susan 🐺: whatever i know i have an out-of-this-world beauty

Soojin: Yes. Like an alien.

Susan 🐺: hahahahsahahahahahah! is that a joke??

Soojin: My goodness, even in this situation?

Susan 🐺: :(

Susan 🐺: damn. i wanna cry so bad i wanna beg her to comeback to me

Soojin: Go. Beg

Soojin: Express whatever you want express

Soojin: Beg? Go. Be mad? Go, be angry to her? Go. Throw your expensive items made by glass? Go

Soojin: no one's stopping you

Susan 🐺: yes there is first my dignity second is my laziness to clean up my mess third i dont have any expensive thinhs

1:46am

Soojin: Orily.

Susan 🐺: hahahah

Susan 🐺: soojin why why is it necessary to end things like thinhs

Soojin: maybe for character development hahaha grab it now it's your chance 

Susan 🐺: soojni :(

Soojin: Kidding aside

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1:59am

Susan 🐺: are you constructing the sweetest long messagw of all time to comfort a babie likeme

2:04am

Soojin: Another friend of mine has experienced this again and I don't have anything more to say since I don't have any experience to things like this. But please remember that, this time, like right now, is not the end of everything. It's okay to cry, to be mad, to feel everything you want, to feel sad. I just know it's for the better of you two. I'm sure of that. But right now, just feel what you are feeling. It's not okay to surpress your emotions for situation like this. Take a rest too, Susan.

2:07am

Susan 🐺: SOOJIN 😭😭😭

Susan 🐺: I cant stop crying

Susan 🐺: thank you my friend ;)

Susan 🐺: yes i will :)

Soojin: :)

2:13am

Susan 🐺: im still shivering

Soojin: calm yourself, maybe a coffee will do

Susan 🐺: hell naw drinking coffee makes me poopoo in no time

Soojin: Okay, maybe a warm water

Susan 🐺: :(

Susan 🐺: sorry soojin i bothered your night when i could've endure this alone

Soojin: It's okay, I'm taking my holiday break after all. No students to teach so yup.

Soojin: Plus enduring it together won't hurt lol

Soojin: First heartbreak?

2:19am

Susan 🐺: yes

Susan 🐺: yet so painful aaashklkkkk

Soojin: I see, you must love her so much. Do you?

Susan 🐺: i do, i do love her so much

Susan 🐺: we became so busy these days

Susan 🐺: to the point that we barely message each other

Seen 2:30am

2:30am

Susan 🐺: idk what happened

Susan 🐺: she maybe prefer the idea of being able to touch or hug someone in person. to be able to feel their presence. maybe that's what i lack  h e h e

Susan 🐺: hays

2:46am

Susan 🐺: soojin can i ask something

Soojin: What is it?

Susan 🐺: how would you feel if you've found out that your partner was attracted to the person she's always with? do you consider it as cheating??

2:56am

Soojin: No. For me, she was attracted. But isn't committed—well, not yet. It hurts but we're still humans. It depends on you on how will you consider it thinking that you're still a kid and you two isn't committed in legal matters. I'm not disregarding anything you two had but there are really big chances that this would happen to us. All of us aren't the same especially in feelings and interpreting somwthing.

Soojin: something*

Soojin: Lol

Susan 🐺: im literally a 23 yr old why u keep on calling me a kid 😭

Soojin reacted with 😲 : im literally 23 yr old why u keep on callin...

3:01am

Soojin: Orily?

Soojin: looks like you're not

Soojin: So young, damn kid you should do your mathematics homework so your mama won't be mad

Susan 🐺: how about meeting me in person and let's see who's a kid here

Seen 3:07am

Susan 🐺: Jk heheheh

Susan 🐺: kidding onle

Susan 🐺: soojin why does it sounds like a me problem what if i overreacted 

3:18am

Soojin: No. That's what I'm talking about when I said that not all us are feeling the same. If I were in your shoes, I would burst into anger too. It's not really okay that you're together and she's attracted to someone else like hellow haha that's weird

Susan 🐺: :(

Susan 🐺: thank you soe sokjin

Susan 🐺: Maybe we really need to take a break 

Susan 🐺: BUT WHAT THE

Susan 🐺: IM NOT EVEN TIRED WHY IS SHE ASKING ME TO TAKE A REST 

Soojin: Maybe a rest for you two, I'm pretty sure everything became so heavy before that happened

Soojin: Hopefully you'll overcome this, Susan.

Susan 🐺: thank you so much soojin :)

3:26am

Soojin: I don't have a choice

Soojin: Lol

Susan 🐺: Thank you for considering me as a friend

Seen 3:40am

3:41am

Soojin: What friend?

Susan 🐺: DUH

Susan 🐺: another episode of soojin and her selected amnesia 

Susan 🐺: LOL

Seen 3:48am

3:52am

Susan 🐺: Soojin, thank you so much for listening. I feel heard. Thank you so much and I'll take everything you have said to me

Susan 🐺: I mean, thank you so much for reading I FEEL READ (the past tense)

Susan 🐺: thank you mi amiga 

Susan 🐺: sorry for ze gloomy night

3:57am

Soojin: Take a rest

Soojin: Good day, Susan. You can do it.

Susan 🐺: thank you so much soojin (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Seen 4:00am

4:00am

Soojin: :)

I M P O R T A N T  N O T I C E

Hi! It's been a long time since the last chapter I made. It was a month ago. I'm happy to be back and honestly I became so motivated to update this.

A little context on why I became inactive during holidays; 1.) I suffered from a break-up.

Like really. It was the first time.

I felt like it was the end of everything. I surpress all the emotions I've felt to the point that I can't feel anything. (I had to, because I was working for 2 weeks straight, 10 hours each day) So I had to be professional lol ahahaha.

This chapter isn't the usual convo Soojin and Susan had as the previous. But I poured out all the things I can think of while listening to our playlist. Thinking this is my last straw hahahahaha! Don't worry, I'm okay now. It's just, it still hurts hahahaha.

Soojin may or may not question everything happened in this conversation. She isn't that heartless tho. It's just, confusing for her.

Also, sorry for ze poor English. English is not my first language. 😪

Anyway, thank you so much for the support guys! I hope this story is having a progress.