1146 BC

Kibum never lost his composure. He was in no position to allow himself to make mistakes.

He reigned Egypt well, had become the sole ruler of this prosperous country, tending to both earthly and spiritual matters as the Lord of the Two Lands and the High Priest of Every Temple. 

He did what he had been born to do; offered up his life to the people, the country, the gods, leaving him as nothing more than a shell of his own self.

Despite it all, he had never found it particularly difficult, or even painful to fulfil his fate - he had been notoriously prepared to fill this role; every single day of his life.

But he had not been prepared this.

As he set his eyes on the bent-over man that had come for an audition, his blood froze. He would recognize it anywhere, the strong frame of his only regret.

«Minho.»

Kibum’s voice was merely a whisper, his eyelids - painted black - were twitching slightly as the memory of their shared youth overcame him like a cold, salty wave when he set them on the man he had once loved. The man he still longed for after all those years. The man he hadn’t seen since his father passed away seven years ago and he had taken his place.

The man he still loved.

“Pharaoh” Minho was still bowing deeply, his face hidden to Kibum who needed this to stop.

“Please, address me by my name.” He said softly – desperately, despite knowing that Minho mustn’t.  

“I mustn’t.” His voice trembled ever so slightly before he lifted his head. “I am here on behalf of my father, high-judge of Alexandria as his he–“

“How have you been?” Kibum interrupted Minho - whose face fell immediately when their gazes met for a split second.

Minho’s eyes were nothing like Kibum remembered. Maybe they were simply missing the admiration that had once filled them, maybe what used to be love had turned into something poisonous, something sour. Or maybe… maybe it was fear, the fear of prosecution, the fear of breaking the law when he had made eye contact with Kibum’s divine existence as a mere commoner.

Silence filled the big room after Minho averted his gaze; but Kibum wasn’t going to repeat himself. He didn’t have to, Minho knew it too. He knew that not answering the Pharaoh’s questions was a serious offense punishable by law - the guards around them were there to enforce it if he were to sin.

“I have been watching you from afar.” Minho said after a while, his eyes fixed on the floor. “I have been standing in the masses while you worshiped gods, while you led uncountable rituals, ceremonies and festivals. You did well." There was a long pause but Kibum could sense that he wasn't done, he knew all Minho's patterns, his speech, he knew what he sounded like when he was struggling to find words. "I... I have watched you getting married to four women, father seventeen children. - I... -  Congratulations.” Minho’s words were cold, digging deep into Kibum’s gold covered skin, but broke off, wrapping them in silence once more.

He had always known that Minho would be watching him. As the eldest son of the highest judge in Alexandria, he would have been expected to attend such events, always. But not once had Kibum as much as spotted him in the masses, not once had Minho shown his face.

Kibum had always wondered if Minho ever regretted loving him - he knew at least, that he resented him for confessing his feelings when Kibum should have known that it would bring nothing but pain in the future.

Blinded by their youthful love, they had ended up making empty promises, dreaming about a future that could not be theirs. Dreaming of running away, of living in a small hut by the Nile, weaving baskets to make a living.

Kibum still dreamed about it; Falling asleep next to Minho on a simple mat, their hands intertwined tightly, when, in reality, the younger wasn't allowed to come close enough so he could personally hand him a document.

“Get out. I will speak to him in private.” Kibum spoke, loud and clear, addressing his royal guard who did not dare to defy him, rushing out of the room with the same stoic expression they always wore on their lifeless faces.

The throne room was silent. So quiet Kibum could hear the gold chains on his body shift ever so slightly when he clenched his fists. He wanted to say many things, none of which were what he ended up forming on his lips.

“My destiny was sealed when I took my first breath. I will not apologize for filling the position my father has left me.” Kibum said, trying to stay calm when his every cell wanted to be close to Minho - now more than ever.

“I have merely answered your question.” Minho replied and Kibum got up from the cold throne, his slow steps echoing against the wall, filling the silence.

“You haven’t told me how you have been. You have informed me about attending my marriages, and said that you have been watching me.” Kibum saw Minho’s jaw clench, saw the latter’s body tense up further with every step he took towards him. “I asked you how you have been.”

Less than an arm-length away, Kibum halted in his movement. He was close enough to hear Minho’s breath hitch.

Too close.

The Minho he knew would have called him out, would have been honest.

“How do you think I have been after I lost the man I love to the throne? How do you think I feel, seeing from afar, the kin you fathered, seeing the women you bedded to conceive them while being refused to even look at you?”

But of the man he had once been, there wasn't anything left, and so, his soft voice filled the room, forming only one sentence.

A sentence without meaning.

“I have been tending to my work.”

“Mhhh. Me too.” Kibum replied, lifting his hand in reflex, wanting to touch the man in front of him before he remembered that he mustn’t. His arm sank back to his side, his fingers closed into a fist, the golden rings he wore dug into his fair skin.

He had no right to endanger his existence. He had no right to act upon his desires when Minho would be the one carrying the consequences of his actions.

“Pharaoh.” Minho said, biting onto his quivering lip. “I… I- I am here on behalf of my father, as for his declining - health.” He inhaled deeply. “I have brought a document concerning a recent case of fraud among the noble families that is needed to pass by your hand.”

“I understand.” Kibum replied, closing his watering eyes for a long second to be at peace with Minho’s lack of familiarity. “You can leave it with the other scrolls over by the statue of Ra. I will tend to it carefully within the coming days.”

He had no right to further ruin his life. He had done enough.

A tear escaped Kibum's left eye - invisible to Minho.

“Thank you.” Minho bowed deeply, Kibum’s insides tightening painfully as he watched the only person he had ever loved take a few steps back, marking the end of their encounter.

“And Minho?” He swallowed. Inhaled.

“Yes? Pharaoh.” Minho didn’t lift his head but stopped in his movements, waiting for Kibum to speak.

“I - I will make sure Horus will be watching over you. Please, live a prosperous life until we meet with Osiris.” Kibum said, feeling his throat close towards the end of his words. Unable to bear the sight of Minho leaving, he turned around, walking up the stairs to his throne, the sound of his steps concealing the whispered words that formed on Minho’s lips while he exited the throne hall.

“Why will I need all those gods when I will only worship you.”