Mina’s memories are slowly coming back. She has been having flashbacks whenever she meets friends and other people that she had worked with in the past year. One day, she was in the elevator when she had another flashback. It happened when a woman came into the elevator, carrying a bag in her left hand and a huge bouquet of flowers in her right hand. She’s wearing a black cap that’s covering most of her face. She looks like she’s struggling with all the things she’s carrying but her smile was big and her voice bright and cheery.

“Can you push the button for me?” The girl asks her politely. “The flowers are getting in the way.” She lets out a breathy laugh.

“Sure. No problem” Mina smiles at her. “Which floor are you?”

“Seventh floor.” The girl says.

“Oh, I’m guessing we’re neighbors. I live on the seventh floor.”

“Really? I just moved here yesterday.” The girl tilts her head up to get a view of her new neighbor’s face. Then Mina hears a gasp. “Oh my gosh, Mina?!”

Mina looks at her with a confused look. This is about the the second time this month that she had encountered a similar scenario with a person she doesn’t know (or remember).

“It’s me Nayeon!” She tries to remove her cap. “Can you help me remove my cap?”

Mina removes her cap and immediately, remnants of memories about the girl flashes in her mind. “Wait, I think I remember you!” Mina says out loud. She thinks perhaps this woman is a friend or someone who works at their family’s company.

They reach their floor and the elevator doors open.

“I can’t believe you’re here and we live in the same building now.” Nayeon says as they step out.

“I’m sorry. I can’t remember who you are but I believe I know you.”

Nayeon tilts her head to the side. “Huh? I’m a little hurt by that.” She chuckles. You should remember me. We had something special.

“No, no, no. It’s not like that. I have amnesia.”

“You what?”

“I have retrograde amnesia. I don’t remember a year or two of my life after I got injured due to an accident.” Mina explains.

“Oh."

 

//

“Oh.” Mina says after Nayeon tells her everything about them—from the day they met until the day they parted. They are inside Nayeon’s unit, seated at the table surrounded by unloaded boxes. Nayeon just moved here yesterday. She’s staying in Seoul for her internship.

“I never stopped thinking about you, Mina. I looked for you. I was hoping you’d come back.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back.”

//

 

Over the weeks, Nayeon would ask Mina to meet up and spend time together. For Mina, it was all friendly but Nayeon was trying to win her heart back. She knew she had her heart two years ago and she hopes she can help Mina remember this.

“You said on the last night that we were together, you will accept my offer when we meet again.”

“And what is that offer?” Mina asks.

“To be your girlfriend. I still want you.”

“What? Nayeon, I told you I have amnesia. I don’t remember you nor the feelings I had for you.”

“We can try getting to know each other again. It might help you remember.”

“I may be a different person than the person you met years ago.”

“I don’t care. I would still want to try.”

“Nayeon, I don’t think we should. Plus, we only knew each other for a few days.”

“No, I knew you for two years.” Nayeon emphasizes the last two words.

“But we weren’t together… physically.” Mina sighs. “And we were probably just carried by our emotions that time.”

“I was carried by my emotions.” Nayeon admits. “And it carried me back to you and I still feel the same for you.” She continues with pleading eyes and Mina thinks why this girl is desperate. “I was stupid and impulsive and I still am. And I don’t know better now than then because all I still know is I want you.”

“Why are you so desperate?”

“Cuz you’re the one, Mina.”

“How can you say that?”

“For all those two years that I waited for you, you were at the backseat of my head. I put you there so I could focus on restarting again with my life. You inspired me to create dreams and reach for them. Now we meet again and I just believe that we’re meant to.”

“Nayeon, you’re overwhelming me. We just met again and everything is new to me. You are new to me. I don't really know you.”

Nayeon looks down. “I'm sorry. i just… I just can’t let you slip away again.”

“I'm sorry, Nayeon, but I have a lot of things that I want to experience. and I have a lot of people to remember.”

“Can't you experience them with me?”

“I wanna do it alone and I have forgotten what I felt when we were 22. What matters to you now doesn’t matter to me anymore ‘cause I have ing amnesia. Don’t you get that?”

That hurts. “But the heart doesn’t forget, Mina. I'll help you remember!

“Don't force it, Nayeon.” Mina sees a tear roll down the other girl’s face and she doesn’t know why it breaks her too much to see her cry.

“Hey, look at me.” Mina reaches a hand to Nayeon’s chin, making her face her. As the girl looks at her, more tears come out of her eyes and Mina can see the defeat in her eyes. “I’m sorry that I can’t remember you and I had for you two years ago. I probably would take you into my life if I remember, but I don’t. Forcing it might just push me away further. I am remembering things slowly. Please be patient if you still want to wait. But for now, I have no guarantees I can give you what you want from me.”

The girl just nods and Mina retreats her hands from her face. After several seconds of allowing her time to stop crying, Mina says her apologies again.

//

 

It wasn’t as easy to be with someone I’ve chosen to be my soulmate as I thought.

 

 

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thank you for reading! :)) twt: @namyoim