As insane as it sounded, Kim Minjeong was living in a GL world.

A very ridiculous one, at that.

Grief had five stages, and Minjeong had experienced them all, multiple times over the course of a year, before she came to terms with this… this next level of madness.

Considering how glaringly obvious the signs were, Minjeong should have seen it coming. Except she had already been caught up in the assumption that her life was normal that once she sensed something unusual, instead of analyzing the situation with logical thinking, she would attribute it to her imagination.

The truth was that Minjeong had picked up the abnormality three years ago.

It was a week after she had received her acceptance letter from the university. Every day, she would pull an all-nighter for Netflix and then sleep all the way until noon. Her room was down the hall on the second floor; she rarely went anywhere except coming downstairs to heat up the food her mother had prepared for them.

One afternoon, however, Minjeong’s sister – Kim Jisoo – and her friends from high school visited their house for a reunion, bringing along boxes of chicken to eat together. Minjeong was invited to join them, the only one dressed in ugly pajamas and old bunny slippers, while the rest were in formal clothing. As though reminiscing the good old times, they had gathered in a circle on the floor, bare hands reaching for a piece of chicken as Jisoo lamented, “That’s got to be the most chaotic event I’ve ever been to. Im Nayeon – damn, I understand where she’s coming from. But I feel sorry for the groom.”

“Tell me about it,” Jennie Kim shook her head, her gochujang-coated fingers. “I heard he passed out shortly after we left.”

Minjeong was not one to reject juicy gossip, even when she had no idea who the subjects were. “What happened? Is it related to the wedding you attended earlier?”

“It’s canceled!” Lalisa Manoban exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. Her Korean was flawless when she spilled the piping hot tea, “They were seconds away from exchanging wedding vows when this woman barged into the church and the bride ran away with her!”

The more Minjeong listened, the more dumbfounded she was. Huh, what in the K-drama logic did she just hear? Unfortunately, it didn’t end there, because there was a more or less unrealistic backstory that Jennie added, and Minjeong swore she had it memorized like the back of her hand: “That was Mina, Nayeon’s girlfriend. Four years ago, she got into a car accident and had been in a coma ever since. Seungyoun said the groom apparently offered to pay off all of Mina’s hospital debt as long as Nayeon married him. Who could’ve guessed Mina would wake up from her four-year coma and show up at their wedding?”

Jisoo nodded slightly. “That explains why Nayeon burst into tears when she saw Mina.”

Minjeong remembered her mind going blank, trying and failing to ingest this illogical set of information, before bursting into a fit of laughter, cackling so hard that she choked on a small piece of chicken. Minjeong still had tears in her eyes when she realized she had been the only one laughing in the room. “That can’t be real. There’s no way that’d happen in real life,” Minjeong snorted, because – come on, any sane person would think it sounded like a stupid twist straight out of your local soap opera. Did they seriously expect her to believe that? Then she might as well join the flat-earther community.

Minjeong became genuinely confused when everyone shot her a judging stare. “…What? Was I wrong?”

The three elders had ended up reprimanding Minjeong for her “lack of sympathy”, and despite wanting to stand her ground, she had gone silent all throughout, stupefied by their reactions.

From then on, Minjeong came to realize there was indeed something wrong with – not even exaggerating about this – the world she was living in. It appeared that the worst had yet to come, and when it did, it would arrive in the form of a forbidden love story that she had thought only existed in manhwas.

Kim Yerim was Minjeong’s first cousin from Father Kim’s side. She was born to a wealthy Korean-Chinese businessman and Father Kim’s younger sister. The chic and outgoing Yerim had been the only relative Minjeong was closest to since childhood; the sort of playmate she would stick with during awkward family meetings. They were of the same age, and happened to be similar in terms of personality and hobbies. The only downside of their unbreakable sisterhood, however, was the fact that they lived about a 2-hour flight apart: Yerim in Shanghai and Minjeong in Seoul.

Hence, Minjeong was delighted when she heard that Yerim was coming to Seoul to study, along with her cousin from Busan: Park Sooyoung.

Despite attending different schools, the trio became inseparable from hanging out every day. Minjeong practically lived rent-free in Yerim and Sooyoung’s shared apartment, and due to her frequent visits, Yerim even gave her a spare key to visit at any time. To Jimin’s relief, except for their constant bickering, nothing abnormal had occurred. They were truly living the ordinary life of university students.

Until one fateful day.

Exhausted from another student council meeting, Minjeong had planned to nap on Yerim’s couch when she accidentally stumbled upon an inappropriate scene.

Yerim was sitting on Sooyoung’s lap, and they were making out.

Oh, no. Not the cursed plot.

Yerim and Sooyoung were supposed to be normal, damn it.

The two relatives separated when they noticed Minjeong’s arrival. To her horror, Sooyoung had risen to shield Yerim possessively, uttering corny words that caused imaginary ants to crawl all over Minjeong: “You don’t understand. I’ve waited ten years. I can’t give up on her just because we’re cousins. Nobody – not even you – can decide who I’m going to love. Yerim is mine. I don’t want to lose her,” she paused to exhale a shaky breath, her voice cracking pathetically, “No – never again.”

Instead of cringing like a sane person, Yerim failed to discern abnormality in their situation and raised a hand to wipe the taller girl’s tears. “Oh, Sooyoung…”

Like a scene plagiarized from a K-drama, Sooyoung grabbed Yerim by the wrist to pull her close before crashing their lips violently.

Right in front of Minjeong’s salad.

For ’s sake – why. There was never a day when she wasn’t questioning this GL-driven world’s rationality. Was making out in her face really that necessary? It hardly proved anything – if justifying their undying love had been the original aim – except making Minjeong blench. They could have told her to get lost, and Minjeong would gladly take her leave. She would opt for jumping off a building than watch live-action , particularly with her dearest cousin – whom she had grown up closely with – in it. Moreover, although Minjeong might have been dismayed by their deviance from her approved normality, she, for one, knew it wasn’t her place to condemn their uous relationship.

Seeing that the two would commit adultery in her presence, Minjeong fled the apartment.

Surely these ridiculous events could only occur in the GL world, but at that time, she had remained in denial to retain her sanity (or so she thought.) Still, as much as Minjeong wished to drive her car straight to the ocean, she had sensibly abandoned the suicide plan in order to conduct an investigation. Her goal was to ascertain the number of targets who had participated in GL plots.

Minjeong never thought gathering evidence would be a piece of cake.

Ning Yizhou, a friend Minjeong had made from frequenting the national library, was born an orphan. She belonged to the supreme category of miserable protagonists who suffered from heavy bullying and working part-time jobs since thirteen. One day, it was revealed on television that she was the long-lost daughter of a famous businessman in Beijing. Yizhou had gone from rags to riches in one night, but before she could bask in an heiress’ life, the girl was suddenly betrothed to the young and attractive president of a multibillion-dollar company: Giselle Uchinaga (how the was this possible at twenty?). Another unsurprising development that Minjeong heard from Kim Gaeul (a close friend she happened to also meet at the library) was that Giselle was rumored to be the heir apparent to the most influential criminal organization in Japan. How the ordinary Gaeul remained safe from being kidnapped or murdered after sharing such a mind-blowing secret became a mystery to Minjeong.

(It probably had something to do with Naoi Rei, the suspicious Japanese girl Gaeul had introduced to her some time ago. Hm.)

Minjeong's own sister, Kim Jisoo, fell victim to GL plots as well, though with a slightly more realistic twist. When Minjeong caught her sneaking out to meet Park Chaeyoung, she realized they were living out the enemies-to-lovers trope. Their rivalry in college had once been legendary, and Minjeong remembered Jisoo’s inexplicable animosity towards Chaeyoung. According to Jennie, Chaeyoung had harbored feelings for Jisoo since their college orientation days, but since Jisoo saw her as competition (especially in terms of academic achievement), Chaeyoung had somehow thought that pestering and annoying Jisoo was a good idea – again, stupid GL logic. Surely, being stuck in the rival zone for six years should have proven it to be a flawed strategy. If this were a longfic, it would probably be a slow burn where Chaeyoung took sixty chapters to man up and confess, only to face rejection thrice before eventually winning Jisoo over.

Could people get any more dramatic?

Minjeong was not the least bit intrigued to find out, but the GL deities did their absolute best to make Minjeong encounter more weirdness everywhere she went.

It was then she knew that GL plots were already ing up lives, simultaneously and ubiquitously. Minjeong could be getting coffee at a nearby café, totally minding her own business, when she would witness cliché scenes happening all at once. Girl A was drinking her iced chocolate and Girl B suddenly leaned in to the cream from her lips. Girl C nearly slipped on a banana peel that seemed to materalize out of thin air, and Girl D caught her waist before she fell so they could gaze at each other for what felt like an eternity. Remarkably, except Minjeong, nobody else in the room found any of that ridiculous.

On the one hand, being homophobic was the norm. On the other hand, nobody seemed to notice this was a GL world.

Such strange contradictions had been mind-boggling at first until Minjeong realized – yikes, it was all for the success of GL plots.

Internalized homophobia. Homophobic environment. These were key attributes that would contribute to creating classic GL conflicts.

The pattern was becoming obvious when Minjeong looked into it further.

First off, this world was dominated by women – lesbians, to be precise. When Minjeong made the point of mentally keeping count of them, she realized the girls here were blessed with a jaw-dropping type of beauty. There was a diversity in their visuals that differed them from one another, but they were nonetheless otherworldly. The professors looked like they stepped out of an SK-II billboard. The gorgeous barista at the Starbucks two blocks away from Yerim’s apartment should get hired to be an actress. The tteokbokki seller at their cafeteria had a face that would earn her a place in an SM girl group had she auditioned. The road sweeper whom Minjeong ran into some time ago could pass for a Victoria's Secret model. Even the “less” ethereal lesbians – which was an understatement, really – had Minjeong thinking they came out of bishoujo anime.

Whoever had zero contribution to the GL world would appear so ordinary that they became background characters, with similar faces and forgotten names.

Straight men, on the other hand, were generally villainized for the sake of GL plots. That, or they would exist solely to function as certain roles, such as the dads (how the hell would mankind reproduce, then? ABO didn’t exist here!), the ex-boyfriends (who either belonged to the trash or “good bro” category), the homies, et cetera, et cetera. They had to be exceptionally handsome and would 98% turn gay even if they were supposed to be homophobic.

It was basically impossible to be good-looking without being involved in GL plots.

Now, frankly speaking, Minjeong considered herself decent-looking. She wasn’t conceited to think of herself as breath-taking as the lesbians here. But the fact that she had a distinctive face among these NPCs got to mean something, right? She wasn’t a background character, which could only imply that the GL deities must already have something in mind for her.

Which was what Minjeong had been dreading about from the start.

Look, she wasn’t homophobic, but she wasn’t straight, either. Minjeong was just unconcerned with things related to romance and love affairs. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure how to identify herself since she was probably too young and inexperienced to decide whether or not she was aromantic or aual – or both. She had just never once experienced a romantic or ual attraction towards anyone.

However, one thing was for sure: Minjeong would never allow the GL deities to mess with her. The joke was on them, for she was officially rebelling.

If Minjeong was going to fall in love, it would have to happen naturally and, most importantly, realistically.

Minjeong didn’t plan to come to the battlefield unprepared. She single-handedly invented the ultimate weapon to survive in the GL world. It was an entire binder that included every GL plot she had gathered from numerous sources. Real-life experiences, novels, movies, TV shows – she even thought of a few on her own just in case things took an unpredictable turn.

Minjeong did whatever she could to protect herself. She tried to lie low, albeit not becoming antisocial because she refused to come across as That (Anime) Girl who aggressively hated every breathing creature (humans, specifically) near her. Even though she enjoyed socializing, she was careful not to over-socialize, carefully blending in the crowd like the bland extra character she was aiming to be.

Due to the threats of cliché GL plots, Minjeong would watch her step around every corner, ensuring that her shoelaces were tied properly and no objects on the ground could make her slip. Being cautious of her surroundings was important since she didn’t want to fall into a stranger's arms and have a 10-minute eye contact (in slow motion, cue the Goblin soundtrack) with them. She also brought her own damn umbrella – or better, a raincoat – to prevent a stranger from suddenly appearing in the rain to share theirs with her. Minjeong never drank alone, either, for fear she might wake up in a stranger's house.

Lastly, Minjeong made it a point to talk with her parents daily, even when they were often away for business trips. It would be disastrous if she were to be sold to the mafia due to financial issues, even though the mafia boss would likely turn out to be a beauty.

Minjeong had taken every precaution to stay out of “trouble.”

But clearly, the GL deities had other plans for her.

❃❃❃ 

Their acts of “terrorism” began three weeks ago.

The GL deities had finally come for Minjeong. Her peaceful life was at stake, it seemed.

In the past 21 years, never once did somebody show romantic interest in Minjeong. She was this invisible person whom nobody admired in that way: a good friend, sure, but no further than that. She had seen people around her dating and changing partners, while she had stayed single throughout her life. But now, all of a sudden, these drop dead gorgeous girls would pop out of nowhere to pursue her romantically. Every day, the number of cliché scenes Minjeong could partake in was jarring, and there was nothing in this world that could be a coincidence.

Revenge was the only logical explanation she could take from this.

The GL deities were warning Minjeong for her disobedience.

Lately, it became a common occurrence for Minjeong to come across a “potential girlfriend” anywhere she was. Minjeong could be walking to the cafeteria when Attractive Girl #708 accidentally spilled coffee onto her shirt and gaped once she looked up at Minjeong – a.k.a the love-at-first-sight trope. Minjeong could be reading at the library when Attractive Girl #781 glimpsed at the book she was holding and complimented her taste in an attempt to interact with her – a.k.a the start of a slice-of-life anime (or something). She could be buying a coke from the vending machine when Attractive Girl #964 suddenly leaned over her from behind, pressing her chest against Minjeong’s back, and snatched the coke from Minjeong, making sure their hands linger in the process – a.k.a another cliché scene plagiarized from a rom-com K-drama.

The same thing happened ten minutes ago. Minjeong had carefully protected herself from “obstacles” when she saw a basketball bounce her way. Sure enough, when Attractive Girl #981 ran to grab the ball and anxiously asked if she was alright, Minjeong could immediately tell this was another GL plot. Dammit, she could never catch a ing break, could she?

So Minjeong did the only thing she could do to scare off her “suitors.”

She had… burst into a song. Yup, exactly like those musical movies where people would randomly sing and dance in response to every situation. Despite being the GL world, things were not very fictional as to include this genre, thus doing it would still count as being a lunatic.

The plan had worked every time.

When Attractive Girl #982 saw Minjeong suddenly sing a Disney song in a pitchy voice – all the while doing an amateur ballet with her arms flailing around, the bewildered look on her face was enough to make Minjeong’s otherwise terrible day better.

Whatever. They would not remember, anyway. What was with a little sacrifice?

(For some reason, as soon as they failed to fulfill these GL plots, the parties involved – except Minjeong, of course – would miraculously have amnesia about Minjeong.)

“That will be 510 won. Thank you.”

Minjeong handed the money to a generic-looking part-timer (he must be a background character!) then exited 7-Eleven, holding a water bottle in hand.

She was having trouble with opening the cap when a shadow approached her, resulting in Minjeong and the stranger tumbling to the ground.

Dear lord, this was the thirteenth time Minjeong had fallen flat on her for the sake of GL plots. It was getting unoriginal at this point.

Minjeong looked up to see Attractive Girl #983 frowning at the dirt on her blazer. Like any other lesbian in this world, the girl was an exquisite beauty, with long black hair, unblemished skin, and designer clothes from head to toe. She was also slightly taller than Minjeong. From her appearance alone, it was obvious that she was loaded, most probably an heiress or something. Seriously, what the hell were the GL de